3 Keys To Knowing (And Getting) EXACTLY What You Want

3 Keys To Knowing (And Getting) EXACTLY What You Want

I'll admit it: I've been getting a little annoyed by all of the memes, statuses and reminders that 2020 is right around the corner. Partly because I consider my birthday as my own personal New Year, but also because many times, our Instagram feeds look like a buffet of other peoples' accomplishments and manifestations.

We watch in awe as women we know (or know of) harness their power. They inspire us to do, be and have more. And that inspiration feels amazing--especially when we know that their accolades, recognition and rewards are well-deserved and long overdue.


As a truly empathetic person and chronic people-watcher, I sometimes consider those of who are still out on the fringes. Y'know, the ones who feel like they're floating.

Women who know they potential, and have a vague idea of who they would like to be, but aren't sure how to make it happen. Because, let's face it: the motivational memes and abstract advice are only useful if you know EXACTLY what you want and how you'll get it.

As I've gotten further along the path to achieving my own goals, I've realized something: to even get started, there was some really BASIC shit that I just...didn't know I needed to do.

There are also things that helped me, that I didn't even realize I was doing. In the last year, I've left (a couple) of "friendships" and situationshipsthat no longer served me. I intentionally manifested a position in a field that I wanted within days, and have built some serious momentum in establishing my own brand. These steps may sound small, but it's all 100% more than I was doing this same time last year, and they're all 100% moving me toward what I want for my life.

I have a long way to go, but I hope this serves you as a starting guide to knowing and GETTING exactly what you want. First things first:

Know That You Are Inherently Worthy


They key word here is "inherently". You don't have to earn your worthiness. Believing this is the very first, most important step (and sometimes the most foreign). It's much easier said than done. Work on making worthiness a part of your being.

If you find women (famous or not) who are happy, inspired and finding peace in their lives, read their books. Watch their interviews. Examine their thought processes and how they carry themselves. Begin to create new thought patterns that support this basic truth: YOU ARE INHERENTLY WORTHY AND DESERVING OF A PURPOSEFUL AND ENJOYABLE LIFE. Even if you believe this on a surface level, exposing yourself to these women continuously will reprogram your subconscious mind.

The second step is the most fun:

CLEARLY Establish Your Desires


Some may get overwhelmed with this one, or even defensive. So in my Obama voice, "Let me be clear."

Establishing desires or goals is not always about money. With no map, you go nowhere.

No one can judge you, so decide what you want. If you have no idea what you want, great! You now have a desire...to establish a desire. You can begin researching different professions or businesses, and looking for new opportunities.

If you're feeling stuck, just pick one or two things that make you say, "It would be amazing to accomplish that in my lifetime." Or in one year, or five years. Ignore the skeptic in your mind and don't pressure yourself too much—most desires, life paths or intentions change dramatically on their way to physical manifestation. Breathe, spend time alone and really get clear on what you want your future to look like.

While we're talking about getting clear, on to the next step:

Choose The Best Vehicle For Your Desires


I struggled with this one for a long time, because I always wanted the solution that would get me to my desires "faster". So until I found a vehicle that made me happy on the way, I had what some would call "shiny object syndrome".

Here's a secret: there are no shortcuts.

If your desire is a certain income level, or accolade, that's great. Consider these questions: What makes you happy outside of work? You're probably very good at something how can you teach or expand on that, or give the experience to others?

I personally don't agree when people say, "Find your passion, and you'll never work a day in your life."

However, I do believe that being passionate WHILE you're in pursuit of your goal will empower you, even when the journey towards your desires gets difficult, as it definitely will.

It's worth saying again, that success has little to do with income or status. The money will definitely follow, but a successful woman is the one who is happy with where she is, where she's going and where she's been.

But to pursue something, you will deeply serve yourself. And in serving yourself deeply, you serve the world. Whether you're starting a restaurant, taking care of foster dogs, singing or writing or doing nails...whatever the vehicle to your desire(s) is. Find what you desire to do, learn how to improve the lives of others while you do.

Don't forget that in the process of achieving your desires, you will give to the world, just by being you. It's a win-win.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

Regina King Offers The Secret To Gaining True Power & Success

This Is What's Blocking You From Manifesting

How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams In 5 Steps

Meagan Good Believes This Is How You Get What You What You Want In Life

Featured image by Getty Images

How Content Creators Hey Fran Hey And Shameless Maya Embraced The Pivot

This article is in partnership with Meta Elevate.

If you’ve been on the internet at all within the past decade, chances are the names Hey Fran Hey and Shameless Maya (aka Maya Washington) have come across your screen. These content creators have touched every platform on the web, spreading joy to help women everywhere live their best lives. From Fran’s healing natural remedies to Maya’s words of wisdom, both of these content creators have built a loyal following by sharing honest, useful, and vulnerable content. But in search of a life that lends to more creativity, freedom, and space, these digital mavens have moved from their bustling big cities (New York City and Los Angeles respectively) to more remote locations, taking their popular digital brands with them.

Exclusive: Nivea Gets Real About Her Self-Love Journey And Why Being On ‘Queens Court’ Felt Like Therapy

You may be familiar with Nivea through her hit songs “Don’t Mess With My Man” and “Complicated,” but thanks to her reality television arrival, we are seeing the woman behind the music. The singer stars in the Will Packer-produced Peacock dating series Queens Court alongside Tamar Braxton and Evelyn Lozada. The series features the three women being courted by several men in an effort to find love. From day one, Nivea captivated viewers with her infectious laugh and down-to-earth personality, with many people wanting to see more of the Atlanta native on our TV screens. However, Nivea never expected to have this newfound fame.