Keke “Keep a Job” Palmer, as social media has deemed her, has experienced various sides of the entertainment industry. From acting, hosting, Broadway, and more to creating opportunities for other creatives through her digital network KeyTV, it feels like there’s nothing she hasn’t explored and conquered. However, when you talk to her about her passion for music and layered views on growing up in the spotlight, it’s clear that everything hasn’t always been as picture-perfect as it seems.
In this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Keke shares insight into the struggles she battled within the music industry, what audiences can expect from the Big Boss visual album release, and the impact love and motherhood have brought to her life.
The visual album is a little over 40 minutes long, but in that short amount of time, it taps into many of the multihyphenate’s emotions and experiences, like unhealthy relationships, therapy, family dynamics, and more – all while showcasing Keke’s bops and fire dance moves. One scene that resonated with me most is when she walks into a music studio with someone in the music industry she thought she could trust, played by Harlem’sRobert Ri'chard.
You expect to be greeted by the studio norms, but instead, the room is filled with dead animals and people eating raw meat, while everyone is strangely oblivious to it. Just from that startling scene, it’s clear that her experience within the music industry was a dark one. She explains, saying, “The biggest struggle, simply put, was misogyny and politics, just trying to get people on board with you, people are so clicky and don’t see success for you. It’s just a lot of drama that’s not based on talent, and it gets really exhausting and tears at your spirit."
Keke Palmer
Photo courtesy of Keke Palmer
She continues, “Every artist is sensitive and trying to grow, learn, and be safe in their career, and it’s constantly halted with all of the other stuff. The people I was choosing to be around were not for me. It’s the same people that continued the negative narrative that I became conditioned with from my first record deal.”
As the art continues to dig into what she went through in the industry. It also explores her personal relationships with loved ones and how she unpacked them through therapy. In one emotional scene, she opens up about not fitting in. She tells her mother: “I feel trapped. It’s like knowing exactly who you are, and everyone’s looking at you and seeing something different.” I don’t know if it was the fact that Mama Palmer was actually playing herself or the power of Keke’s words, but it felt very honest, and it made me wonder where it stemmed from.
She expounded on the scene, saying, “Everybody is perceived as someone now in the social media era, but I was coming from my own personal story, growing up in front of people and being seen since I was a kid. I can never go back from that; I can never be a new person again. I’m always going to be whoever people invented me to be. My mom used to say this quote to me, ‘never let other people’s perception of you be a perception of yourself,’ that is hard to do. But I finally had to live up to the quote and resist the temptation to allow people to tell me who I’m going to be and what’s there for me, which specifically happens a lot in the music industry.”
"My mom used to say this quote to me, ‘Never let other people’s perception of you be a perception of yourself,’ that is hard to do. But I finally had to live up to the quote and resist the temptation to allow people to tell me who I’m going to be and what’s there for me, which specifically happens a lot in the music industry.”
You can tell sis is feeling real liberated, and the art isn’t the only reason. She credits the love from her relationship and son for sparking something new in her. “I have such a beautiful bond with my mother, but it’s not something I thought I could realistically have outside of my family,” the new mom explains. “The kind of unconditional support and love they give me is so selfless. I just wanted a partner that felt like my family – one that wasn’t burdened or intimidated by my success, and I think hoping that and thinking about it brought it into my life.”
Keke also feels like motherhood has impacted her creatively and brings a sense of peace. “Nothing is more important to me than my son. It’s this sense of ease because there’s nothing I care about more than him. Everything will be okay. That ease has brought tons of inspiration, courage, and power,” she says. “He’s my everything. At one time, all I had was my career, then it went to building a bond with my partner, and that was the beginning of me really having something of my own. It’s not a part of entertainment; it’s my family, so for that to keep growing, it just makes me that much more creative and full.”
Keke Palmer
Photo courtesy of Keke Palmer
Wait a second – speaking of things her son gave her. We had to get into her mom-bod. Like many, motherhood has changed her body, and the millennial diva looks bomb AF, while she mentioned being appreciative of all the love she’s getting online about it, it made us discuss the pressure women sometimes face trying to fit an aesthetic.
“I think I’ve always been body conscious because so much is about your body in the industry. But after having my son – I’m just like, who gives a shit? I still want to be on point because that’s part of my industry. But I think a lot of moms feel that snapback culture because of celebrities and social media."
She continues, “I try to stay on point because of the opportunities I want, but it’s never to the point where it’s life and death. I think there’s a level of confidence I have in this new body. It’s really about how I feel inside, more than what it looks like outside. I never thought I would have this (hips, thighs, etc.), but now it’s here, and I’m so confident. I feel better than ever.”
“I think I’ve always been body conscious because so much is about your body in the industry. But after having my son – I’m just like, who gives a shit? I still want to be on point because that’s part of my industry. But I think a lot of moms feel that snapback culture because of celebrities and social media."
From Barbershop and Akeelah and the Bee to Nopeand Hustlers to the endless viral digital moments, Keke continuously works and keeps us entertained. But one of my personal favorite things about her is how inspiring she is, and the Big Boss music and film is a clear example of that. “I think I’ve seen a lot of benefits to the seeds I’ve sown. I overcame a lot. Specifically, I’m not afraid to be my biggest champion. I’m not in a place where I need people to agree. I feel so secure, and that was kinda the energy that we [her and her EP, Grammy award-winning Tricky Stewart] put into the project.
"This Big Boss era is ultimately about ownership, independence, and strength. There’s been moments in my life where there might have been hesitation or confusion, but now everything is solution-based.” Keke embodies the idea that you can do what you love with who you love on your terms. And I really love this Big Boss Era for her and can’t wait to add the music to my playlist. It’s giving, summer 2023 is gonna be one for the books!
Big Boss, the film is available Friday, May 12, 2023, exclusively on KeyTV and available for streaming wherever you stream your music.
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Feature image courtesy of Keke Palmer
It really is fascinating that, with as much of a powerhouse as our vaginas are, they can still be somewhat fragile as it relates to what needs to be done in order to keep them healthy and happy. And since very few things are more annoying than vaginal itching, burning, or shifts in discharge, I’m going to share 15 things that you should take special note of — if you want to keep your own vagina from getting super upset with you.
1. Fragranced (or Antibacterial) Body Wash
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When it comes to keeping your va-jay-jay clean (check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?”), it’s first important to remember that your actual vagina (the muscular inner tube that connects your vulva to your cervix) doesn’t need your help; it’s self-cleaning. This means if something smells strange or there’s a lot of uncomfortable discharge going out, douching is not what needs to be done…going to see a medical professional is what your move should be.
As far as your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) goes, while plain water can get the (cleaning) job done, if you would prefer to go a few steps up from that, make sure that you go with all-natural ingredients (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”) and that you avoid heavy fragrances or even antibacterial soaps.
No matter how much those types of commercial brands may boast about keeping your vagina “extra clean,” more times than not, all they’re going to do is irritate your vulva and remove “good” bacteria from your vagina in the process.
2. An Unhealthy Gut
Did you know that somewhere around 80 percent of your immune system is in your gut? This is one reason to be conscious of your diet and to add a probiotic to your system. Not only will your immunity thank you for it, but so will your vagina. That’s because when your gut isn’t in tip-top shape, that can trigger gut inflammation which could cause “bad” bacteria to wreak total havoc in your gut and your vagina as the bacteria travels down to it. So, if your gut has never really been a priority to you before, there’s no time like the present to change that…right?
3. Baby Wipes
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If nothing else ends up being your “something new” in this article, this very well may be. Did you know that you actually SHOULD NOT use wipes while going to the bathroom? According to a rectal surgeon, things like baby wipes can actually get you “too clean” in the sense that they can strip away some of the good bacteria that your body needs. As a result, constant use of them can trigger a yeast infection. Plus, if you have human papillomavirus (HPV), the wipes can actually spread warts. Kind of mind-blowing. Mind-blowing, indeed.
4. Not Cleaning Out Your Clitoral Hood
I will always find it to be hella ironic that while a lot of women turn their nose up at a man’s foreskin (“uncut men” tend to give more sexual pleasure than cut ones, by the way), it’s like they forget (or maybe they don’t even know) that their clitoral hood is also a form of foreskin: it’s skin that covers up and protects their clitoris (check out “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood”). With that said, although clitoral hoods probably get as much hygienic attention as belly buttons do, it is a good idea to be intentional about cleaning yours out at least once a month.
Things like panty lint, pubic hair, and dried discharge can get caught up in there, and when that happens, it could lead to discomfort or irritation. To get it right, all you need to do is put some olive oil on a Q-tip, gently pull back your hood, and rub underneath it. Problem solved.
5. Fast Food
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Sure, fast food is convenient. Still, when you get a chance, read “Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone.” It’s got a few reminders in there for why we should actually be leery about an entire meal costing less than eight bucks (give or take a couple of dollars). When it comes to your vagina, foods that are high in fat, are heavily processed or fried aren’t good for “her” because they can cause bad bacteria to overtake the good bacteria that’s in there — and that could trigger bacterial vaginosis or other forms of vaginal irritation. Does this mean that you can never have a burger? Eh. The bigger takeaway is enjoying a combo a couple of times a week, every week, probably isn’t the best idea.
6. Dairy
Although I’ve never been a big milk drinker, what I will do is tear some cheese and ice cream up. I will admit that, the older I get, the heavier I feel whenever I have more than a couple of slices of pizza or scoops of ice cream in one setting — and I know that it’s because dairy isn’t the best for me…me, or my vagina. Yep, something else that can trigger your vagina is dairy. One reason is that the hormones in it can throw off your own natural hormonal balance.
When this happens, it can block estrogen from creating the mucosal lining needed to keep your vagina from experiencing certain types of infections. So, while the thought of absolutely no dairy may not be for you (hey, I get it), at least try and consume it in extreme moderation.
7. Condoms
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Although latex allergies are a very real thing, reportedly, between 1-5 percent of the population actually have one. And even if you happen to fall within this small number, there are quite a few alternatives to latex condoms these days, including polyurethane and polyisoprene ones (and let’s not forget the female condom) — so there really is no excuse to go without using one.
So, why is it that some condoms can irritate the vagina even if you’re not allergic to what it’s made out of? Charge it to either the spermicide (which may be too strong for your vagina) or the need for lubrication (to reduce friction). The thing to remember here is not to go without condoms; just be more thoughtful about what your vagina needs when purchasing them.
8. Dirty Fingers or Fingernails
Business Insider once published an article stating that you can easily have anywhere from “100,000 to a few million germs” on your hands at any given moment (eww). Now add to that the fact that your fingernails tend to hold those same germs along with the type of bacteria that can make you vomit or get the runs (especially if you wear nail tips) and the moral to the story is this: whether your partner plans on putting his fingers in your vagina or y’all have some mutual masturbation plans going on, washing hands and using a fingernail file to get any reachable “gunk” out is most definitely a good idea. So is doing this before inserting a tampon or menstrual cup because the less bad bacteria that gets into your vagina, the better.
9. New Sperm
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It’s not uncommon for some women to go through a season of abstinence, return to sex and end up with some sort of vaginal infection. Actually, a similar thing can happen if you start sleeping with someone new (unprotected) as well. That’s because, while sperm/semen is usually alkaline, your vagina is acidic. This means that your partner’s fluids can throw your vagina’s pH way off until it adjusts to it. Hmph. Another reason to be pro-condom usage, if you ask me.
10. A “Wet” Penis
If you’re out here having unprotected sex, please make sure that your partner “wipes his Willy” well before engaging in intercourse with you because another thing that can irritate your vagina is urine. Since it contains a pretty high amount of acid, when his urine comes into contact with your vagina or your vulva, it can lead to burning, itching, and even something known as vulvar contact dermatitis. Honestly, even your own urine can do these things, which is why it’s so important to wipe thoroughly and to clean your vaginal region consistently.
11. An Alcohol-Filled Mouth
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Aside from the fact that consuming alcohol increases your chances of having bacterial vaginosis (who knew?!) and can also make it harder to naturally lubricate and/or climax, you might want to pay attention to how much liquor is in your partner’s mouth before he attempts to go down on you.
Back when vodka tampons were all the rage (chile), some warnings were sent out about them due to the fact that alcohol is highly acidic and can actually damage the mucous membranes of your vagina if you’re not careful. So, if you’ve ever had a super drunken night, some pretty good sex (which included oral sex), and then ended up with a case of vaginitis or yeast infection — the dranks could very well be why.
12. Synthetic Fibers
Like every other part of your body, your vagina needs to breathe — and that’s hard to do when you’re wearing synthetic fibers like polyester, nylon, and spandex. That’s why you should immediately remove these types of fabrics after working out; otherwise, all of the sweat could cause bacteria to take over. By the way, if you’re wondering what some workout material alternatives are, moisture-wicking cotton, bamboo fiber, and poly-dri are far better options.
13. Thongs. Sometimes.
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Thongs are something that I’m gonna let y’all have. Although I get the sexiness factor that they bring, I’ve personally never found them to be comfortable (at all). Plus, my vagina doesn’t seem to enjoy them very much either. That makes sense when you factor in that they can cause a lot of friction, make it hard for your va-jay-jay to breathe, and they can also make it easier for infections to spread up into your vaginal area. Listen, thongs aren’t the devil. All I’m saying is, in the pursuit of not pissing your vagina off, when it comes to using them, specifically, it’s probably best to take a “less is more” approach.
14. Polyester or Rayon Sheets
Some of the cheapest — meaning most economical — bedsheets around are ones that are made out of polyester and/or rayon. Come to think of it (because I’ve owned a few sets of them in my lifetime), they are actually pretty comfortable, too. Problem is, both fabrics can trap moisture, and since our bodies tend to change temperatures throughout the night, you don’t want to get all sweaty and create a super moisture-filled environment for the not-so-good bacteria to thrive. Yeah, organic cotton sheets (or even bamboo ones) are always gonna be your better bet.
15. An Unsterilized Menstrual Cup
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One of the best things to ever happen to my life (at least as far as my period is concerned) is a menstrual cup. It’s comfortable. If you’re not a heavy bleeder, you can put it in for the day and almost forget that you’re even on your cycle. And, because you can use it over and over again, it’s good for the environment too. Just make sure that you sterilize it by boiling it after each and every cycle ends. Simply running it under some hot water is not good enough if you want to remove all of what remained from your period before — germs that could definitely piss your vagina off.
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There you have it, y’all: 15 things that our vaginas would prefer us not to do (or do often). So, if you want you and your vagina to get along, please take heed to each and every one because, when you take good care of her, she definitely strives to take stellar care of you. Amen? Amen.
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