#I'mWithMo: Why More 'Difficult Women' Need To Speak Up
In this great American pie that we're all a part of, it's fair to say that we all want a piece. As Black women, we are taught to be grateful for our portion, say our grace, and to most importantly, mind our manners and say "thank you." If we ask for a bigger slice, we're called "greedy," or worse, "difficult," as though fighting for our fair share is an act of treason. Although this rhetoric remains dominant in our society, anyone who thinks that women are meant to be seen and not heard is in for serious reality checks from one of the Original Queens of Comedy.
It's been a tumultuous few years for Mo'Nique, who in that time has taken on industry giants like Lionsgate and Netflix, and started an important conversation about the pay gap that exists for women of color in the process. After winning an Oscar for her role in Precious in 2015, and making some controversial statements about powerhouses Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey, and Lee Daniels, Mo'Nique claims that she was unfairly blackballed from the entertainment industry.
Last year, the comedian made headlines when she was featured on The View and The Breakfast Club after calling for a nationwide boycott of Netflix due to pay inequality. The comedian alleges that the streaming service offered her a great deal less than her counterparts (including Amy Schumer and Chris Rock), solely based on her identity as a Black woman.
Although some claim that the comedian has added unnecessary strain on her career for the sake of making a point, others (including myself) feel that Mo'Nique's battle is an important one to fight.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some Amy Schumer. But in what world does Amy Schumer get paid more than a comedy legend? Nah, son. Auntie Mo' recently sat down with former comedian and long-time friend, Steve Harvey, to give the world her side of the story. Watch the breakdown:
The interview, which left a bad taste in my mouth before I was even able to get to the :30 second mark, began with Steve explaining how problematic Mo'Nique has been in the public eye. Monique told Steve:
"I said 'no' to some very powerful people."
Too often are Black entertainers told to sit down, shut up, and entertain, which is exactly what Mo'Nique is going through right now. During the interview, it became abundantly clear that our old Uncle Steve (twice removed), wasn't quite getting the point. He argued:
"When you tell the truth, you have to deal with the repercussions of the truth. We Black out here. We can't come out here and do it any kind of way we want to. ... This is the money game. This ain't the Black man's game, this ain't the white man's game. This is the money game!"
This is true, Unc. We are Black out here. Which makes it that much more important that we stand up and open our mouths when we face injustice. Money can't buy equality, brother. Before I could even articulate my feelings to devise the ultimate clap back in my head, Mo'Nique offered the perfect response and said what we were all thinking:
"Before the money game, it's called the integrity game. And we've lost the integrity worrying about the money."
Steve then made a powerful point, explaining that it is impossible to fight darkness with darkness. To that, she responded:
"What we can do is cure it with comedy. And what I'm not going to do, Steve, I'm never, ever gonna waiver from my comedy show on that stage. That's my gift and that's my freedom. And what happens is when you allow people to start taking your freedom and your gift and making it become what makes them comfortable, we then lose."
Preach it, Auntie.
Now I'm a woman who's all about a bag; I live for a check honey. But never, ever will I let a check dilute my beliefs or sully my integrity, and I think that those were Monique's sentiments exactly. I can only speak for myself when I say, I'm not the easiest person to work with. I've been told that I can be hard to please and could use a reality check from time-to-time, hell, nobody's perfect. But I take tremendous pride in my work and I truly believe that I'm a beast at what I do. No amount of money that's offered to me by a man can trump that. Periodt.
The Bible says do not cast your pearls before swine, so if you're in a position where your value is being challenged, it's okay to walk away. Your gifts are valuable, and you are deserving of everything you desire, even if you are "difficult." Take it from Mo'Nique, who recently made history as the first Black comedian to have a residency in Las Vegas, no one man can stop your bag when God gives you a gift and you walk in that truth.
When men stand up for themselves in the face of oppression, they are called courageous and brave. So why is it that when women demand the same reciprocity, we are berated for our attitudes toward equality and labeled "difficult"? Know that you are not alone, Mo'Nique, and on behalf all of the other difficult women that are reading this, we stand with you in your fight for the respect that you deserve.
Featured image by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.
Watch the full clip from the show below!
Mo'Nique and Steve Get Real: Part 1www.youtube.com
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It Girl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
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Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
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@xoNecole
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