What is a Virgo like in love? A Libra? A Sagittarius or a Capricorn? It's no secret, looking up the zodiac sign of a person we're dating is something we all do from time to time, whether we are a true believer of the zodiac sign and horoscopes, or if we casually dabble in the metaphysics here and there. Whether it's keeping up with horoscopes monthly or researching what a *insert zodiac sign here* man does in love or why he's distant, we've all managed to drink from the horoscope Kool-Aid at one point or another.
In the dating game, I've found that horoscopes, particularly what someone's sun sign is, is something a lot of us out here want to know quick, fast, and in a hurry for the sake of compatibility. Even deeper than that, we crave knowing what a person is like in love to gain insight into a person's good traits and bad, but to also get a glimpse into someone's feelings for us based on how their zodiac sign is in love.
To help you figure out the key to solving your love life puzzle, below is how each of the 12 zodiac signs are in love.
1.Aries In Love
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Aries are typically super friendly people, and that makes them get along with just about everyone. But like most zodiac signs, they tend to be most compatible with their elemental group, which includes Sagittarius and Leo. Aries can be bright, bubbly, upbeat, outgoing, and very much about that action. However, Libras, the opposite sign of Aries, makes a great connection in the bedroom. Libras are givers and Aries are takers, and that combination works well together when things get more intimate.
When the Aries falls in love, they are unapologetic and unashamed at how much they love their partner. They are also one of the mushiest and most romantic of the zodiac signs. Being in a relationship with an Aries will never leave you bored, it will always be full of fun. You can expect lots of travel, sex, and adventure from the Ram.
Read more about the Aries sun sign in love here.
2.Taurus In Love
People who are normally drawn to a Taurus are attracted to their chill and sensual vibe. Taureans are always down for a good time. In love, a Taurus mostly get along well will other Earth signs (Capricorns and Virgos). Their favorite subjects to talk about are home improvements, food, shopping, and, of course, money. After all of that, take a nap together to top off their experience. They are most sexually compatible with Scorpios because they both take pleasure seriously and are committed to adventure as well as climaxing. This makes for a truly intense sexual bond.
Be their friend first. Keep it simple and peaceful.
Read more about the Taurus sun sign in love here.
3.Gemini In Love
Governed by their intellect, a Gemini in love doesn't necessarily require the emotional connection that is often associated with romantic relationships. This isn't to say that they don't have the capacity to be intimate. However, their sweet spot lies in the meeting of the minds. Symbolic of the twins, these curious lovers aspire to come into union with someone who can match their mental astute. It's imperative that their lover be able to hold a good conversation and even offer insights that Gemini hasn't even thought of themselves.
Throughout their early life, they have a tendency to date around before fate unites them with their twin. Bear in mind, that they aren't expecting you to be exactly like them. In actuality, they want you to be so damn comfortable being your most authentic, eccentric self that you seamlessly just gel into their lives like two quirky peas in a pod. As a mutable sign that is constantly evolving, it's important that their lover be flexible and open-minded to how expansive their Gemmie truly is.
Read more about the Gemini sun sign in love here.
4.Cancer In Love
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When it comes to love, Cancerians seek security. They are also attracted to people with strong family values. Best believe, they will definitely judge you by the way you treat your mother. You'll get some extra brownie points if you make an effort to connect with their parents as well. If a Cancer allows you into their precious space trust that, in due time, you will become an extension of their own family. It may take a little time for these cautious lovers to warm up to you but once they put down their guards, you can trust that you'll have a devoted partner for life.
They just don't allow any ol' body to access that part of themselves. Given their indirect—and sometimes passive-aggressive—nature, it's important for a Cancerian's partner to be just as perceptive as their crabby lover. They may not always tell you when something is wrong and more often than not, they hope you'll just "get it" like they often do. Once you start to learn the changing rhythms of their lunar energy, you'll be able to navigate their moodiness with ease and grace.
Read more about the Cancer sun sign in love here.
5.Leo In Love
What's the Leo zodiac sign like in love? In love, this affectionate zodiac sign loves to shower their significant other with words of affirmation and gifts. But this doesn't come without them vetting you first. Due to their generosity often being taken advantage of, Leo has learned the hard way that even their giving must have limits. To be their happiest, they must have a partner who is equally as generous (if not more). Leo needs a partner who doesn't mind stroking their ego with lavish expressions of love. If these sultry lovers don't feel worshipped, then it's a hard pass for them.
Being in a relationship with this fixed fire sign will test your patience at times given their stubborn, know-it-all nature. Sometimes it's best to just let them lead than to pick a fight. This doesn't mean you need to be a doormat; however, these feisty individuals do like a little push-back that could eventually lead to some frisky play time in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, Leo typically likes to dominate and they take a lot of pride in satisfying their lover.
Read more about the Leo sun sign in love here.
6.Virgo In Love
When it comes to a Virgo in love, there's a lot to unpack when it comes to "The Virgin" of the zodiac. Don't get it twisted though. These individuals are the epitome of "a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets". Often mislabeled as prudish, Virgo is far from that. Now, yes, they can be selective (as anybody should be when it comes to relationships and sex) but once they connect with someone that truly sees them for who they are beyond their neatly packaged image, they will completely give of themselves to their lover. Their natural willingness to serve others makes them superior in the bedroom (that is, of course, if they're not consumed by performance anxiety).
Before you're granted the privilege of being sexually intimate with them, you must first put in the work of winning over their approval. As critical as Virgo can be of others, this is merely a reflection of how they are with themselves. Oftentimes, their own worst enemy, this analytical zodiac sign needs someone doesn't overthink everything. If you want to impress a Virgo, the easiest way to do so is by offering to help them with practical tasks like cleaning up, running errands, and making sure they eat in the midst of their hectic schedule.
Read more about the Virgo sun sign in love here.
7.Libra In Love
With Venus as their planetary ruler, it's rare that you ever find the lovebirds alone. Their natural affinity for being in partnership typically makes them an easy person to be with. However, be equipped to read in between the lines if you're getting romantically involved with a Libra. They have a hard time speaking up even regarding the most annoying, and sometimes even disrespectful, behaviors. This isn't to say that they're naive and willing to put up with being mistreated for too long. Just like with anyone, they have their breaking point, too.
As accommodating as they can be, in love, it's important that Libra have a thoughtful lover that is willing to give their personal helper a little assistance as well. Even though they are self-sufficient when it comes to their work, it doesn't hurt to offer some assistance which can be as simple as figuring out where the two of you will eat for dinner. Known for being ridiculously indecisive, a simple decision can turn into a day-long affair. Although their inability to make a quick decision can get annoying after while, you'll equally find appreciation in their ability to see both sides of a story.
Read more about the Libra sun sign in love here.
8.Scorpio In Love
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More than likely, a Scorpio wrote the prototype marriage vows particularly that one line that emphasizes "until death do us part." Once they're in a relationship, they are in it which typically grants them the wherewithal to deal with toxic bullsh*t a lot longer than most—all for the sake of an eternal love. They are literally obsessed with the idea of finding, and possessing, that one special person that just gets all of their weird ways that most people don't have the patience to understand. If you're thinking about partnering up with one of these sultry hotties be prepared to merge your souls-- possibly through some sort of blood binding ritual that will seal your fates together for all of eternity. *inserts evil laugh*
Exaggeration or not, a Scorpio in love aims to go deep (in more ways than one). Commonly known as the freakiest sign of the zodiac, they aim to please but don't mind taking on a more dominating role either. Remember—they're ancient ruler is Mars. During sex, they prefer a rough ride whether they're the ones getting pushed around or the one handing out the lashings while they have you handcuffed to the bed. There will never be a dull moment in the bedroom with these pleasers.
Read more about the Scorpio sun sign in love here.
9.Sagittarius In Love
With freedom being their top priority, Sagittarius usually takes the longest to explore their options prior to "settling down." In their younger years, it's typically best to allow them free reign. Committing at a young age can be disastrous for them and anyone they're involved with due to their wandering eye. Over time, they'll eventually get tired of the fleeting, whirlwind romances that don't seem to amount to much but a sexy situationship. Given their impulsivity, they can be promiscuous when single.
Once they actually decide they want to be in a relationship, it's important to keep things fresh to keep them interested. Not one for vanilla sex, Sagittarius wants a partner who is open to exploring some unconventional methods. Out of all of the zodiac signs, they'd likely consider an open relationship. As much space as they need to do their own thing, a long-distance relationship could be perfect for them.
Read more about the Sagittarius sun sign in love here.
10.Capricorn In Love
Typically, a Capricorn in love likes to take their time in building a relationship. Remember, they are an Earth sign so they're going to move a little slower but usually with good reason. With their legacy being an important factor, they have no problem waiting until they hit the genetic jackpot. As driven as they are, it's important for their partner to have their own thing going on so they don't suffocate the poor Capricorn who gets a bit squeamish if emotions get involved too quickly.
Secretly, these composed lovers desire to surrender to wild romance; however, their Saturnian nature won't allow their feelings to trump their logic. It takes a special person to see through this defense mechanism and to not take it personally when they're immersed in their work (it's their happy, safe place). They have a tendency to distract themselves with work when their feelings get stirred up. In due time, they'll grant you access to their precious inner world in which you'll begin to see the innocence and purity that lies within them.
Read more about the Capricorn sun sign in love here.
11.Aquarius In Love
With an Aquarius, or any sign, it's important to learn their love language. As a masculine Air sign, this isn't the most emotionally expressive zodiac sign (although you'd be surprised by the chaos that is underneath the surface of their steely-eyed gaze). Sometimes referred to as the Ice Queen/King, it can take a little time for them to warm up to a new suitor. In the earlier stages of a connection, they're enticed by the idea of picking someone's brain to figure out who they're dealing with. The road to intimacy is a well thought-out process so you can forget about this sign falling head over heels for you (unless they have some prominent Water or Fire placements in their chart).
Oftentimes, it's common for an Aquarius to end up pursuing a relationship with a long-time friend. They like to know that there is common ground between them and their partner that isn't solely based on a physical attraction or the oh so dreaded feelings. Sometimes they can send mixed signals in an attempt to create emotional distance and to emphasize their independence. If they're not careful, someone can easily take their approach as a lack of interest.
Read more about the Aquarius sun sign in love here.
12.Pisces In Love
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As a mutable Water sign, Pisces can be a little difficult to figure out but that's also the allure about them. On one hand, they can be sympathetic and compassionate, while on the other hand they can be distrustful and wounded. Not one to dive in head first, they prefer to test the waters before taking the plunge. In the beginning, Pisces will only reveal but so much as they do possess a mystique about them.
Once you've passed the test, they'll happily reveal their innermost self to you. Given their power of subtle influence, they have the ability to get their needs met—usually without even being direct. This is a result of their mastered manipulative streak which can sabotage the growth of the authentic relationships they deeply crave. Their sacrificial nature and giant hearts make them a sucker for people who are suffering. They are weak to a good sob story and love to be the one to pick up the pieces.
Read more about the Pisces sun sign in love here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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