I don’t usually splurge or impulse shop. I’m happy to wear the same clothes until they’re no longer in good condition, and I cook my food at home more days than not. But, girl, if you tell me you want to travel somewhere, the cards are OUT!
One day, I was scrolling on Instagram when I saw a beautiful Reel about Strasbourg, France, during Christmastime. Then I saw another one and another one. So I sent one to my good friend, who said that was her DREAM Christmas destination. SAY LESS, SIS! Within 72 hours, the whole trip was booked. Flights, transportation, lodging, you name it.
We landed in Lyon on Thursday before heading to Strasbourg and were instantly charmed by the classic French façades and smiley locals. We had an amazing first night enjoying the Festival of Lights all through the city.
Fresh off an amazing first evening, we headed to Strasbourg on Friday in a BlaBlaCar (a ride-share system in Europe) with two friendly local women who gave us tons of expert recommendations on what to do, see, and eat in Strasbourg.
They dropped us off in the center, and our faces lit up. The town was decked out in Christmas decor from head to toe, and the streets were buzzing with folks clambering around stalls selling Christmas decorations, hot drinks, and other artisan knick-knacks. They don’t call it Europe’s Christmas Capital for nothing!
We rushed to our Airbnb to put our bags down and start exploring, and that’s when everything went south.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite
I always check my lodgings before settling in because I’ve walked into hotel rooms that haven’t properly been cleaned or other situations where I haven’t felt safe enough to stay.
So we looked around the Airbnb to make sure everything was okay when I heard my friend say, “I see something moving on the sheets.” “Are you messing with me?” I responded.
I double-checked, and my heart sank. “I see it too, fuck.”
“There’s another one on this side, too.”
“Damn,” I said, “I just spotted a third.”
“We can’t stay here.” We grabbed all of our stuff and ran for the nearest cafe to strategize where we were going to stay. Only one major problem: Everything in town was booked.
Enrique, Our Christmas Angel
We looked all around Strasbourg and even at nearby towns and villages. Booked. Booked. Booked. We even started considering taking a train to a nearby town in Switzerland or Germany, which had affordable lodgings available and were only about one hour away by train.
But we still had a bus back to Lyon early Sunday morning to consider and felt going to another country would derail our whole trip to see the Christmas Capital of Europe.
I checked Booking.com for just one night instead of two, and there were three options. But every time I’d make a booking it would immediately cancel because they weren’t ACTUALLY available. Now I had over $1K in holds on my account and nowhere to stay when finally our last attempt went through.
Phew! “At least we have somewhere to stay tonight, and we can figure out what to do about tomorrow.”
We showed up at the hotel to hear the receptionist getting an ear-shattering lashing from a livid guest. Needless to say, Enrique looked like he was having a worse evening than we were.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
When we tried to check in, he said, “I’m sorry, but that booking shouldn’t have gone through on Booking.com. We are full.” I wished I was one of those people who could go into a rage. I wished I could throw an adult tantrum until I got my way, but I’ve never been capable of raising my voice. And I was one more round of bad news away from tears.
“Please, sir, we are in a desperate situation. We are two young women with nowhere to stay tonight. Our Airbnb was canceled, it’s close to freezing temperatures outside, and if we don’t figure something out, we are going to sleep on that bench outside. If there’s anything you can do, we would really appreciate it.”
He melted, “Okay, let me see what I can do.”
It took hours. And as each minute passed, even our options of going to Switzerland or Germany were off the table. The last trains had left.
We heard him clacking away on the computer between stressed sighs, and I hoped he would at least be kind enough to let us sit in the lobby all night where it was warm.
Close to midnight, he came over with two mugs of warm cocoa and cookies, and said, “I have a room for you.” I felt so much relief the tears just started rolling down my face.
Gratitude (And Hot Wine) Is The Best Medicine
The next morning, we tried to make the best of it. Between calls to our host and Airbnb customer service, it felt like our minds were still tied up in resolving our situation.
But we were still alive and well. We were fortunate to have had the money to resolve the situation even after multiple holds. And we were so grateful for Enrique’s kindness.
We just wanted to shake it off and enjoy our girls’ trip.
We took a train to Colmar as we had originally planned. The town and its nearby villages inspired the village in Beauty and the Beast, and there was a Christmas market down every quaint, cobblestoned street. It was hard to continue sulking while surrounded by so much Christmas cheer. (The multiple cups of mulled wine didn’t hurt either.)
After a few hours, we returned to Strasbourg to check out the Christmas markets. With no lodgings available in the city, we decided to take an overnight bus back to Lyon and cut our trip short.
It Got Worse Before It Got Better
More back-and-forth calls to our host and Airbnb, getting soaked at a bus station with no indoor waiting area, freezing temperatures, delayed buses, and midnight bus transfers where the only thing open for shelter was a rock and roll bar and rats. Trust and believe we were ready to go home!
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Life Is A Box Of Chocolates But It’s Also What You Make It
There were so many times on this trip that I just broke out into hysterical laughter because, with all the chaos of the trip, I was left thinking, what is this a sitcom? Did I somehow end up on the set of Eurotrip 2? Am I really in a rock and roll bar at 1 a.m. singing "Wonderwall" by Oasis in exchange for shelter?
But with every round of setbacks comes an opportunity for reflection, and here are mine:
1. Airbnb might not be the best choice during busy times, especially in smaller cities with fewer options. While we selected accommodations with a Super Host and everyone was responsive, it took three days to initiate a refund, it will take longer to hit my account, and they didn’t necessarily help find us other accommodations. At least with a hotel, there is someone onsite to help you immediately.
2. Always, and I mean always, have wiggle room in your budget or credit cards for things to go wrong. If we had waited for Airbnb to find us a solution, we could’ve been stranded for days. I joked that 25-year-old me would’ve just had the energy to party for two days straight and not sleep, but I was so grateful 31-year-old me had the money to make sure I was safe and could get a good night’s rest.
3. Strasbourg was ripping at the seams with tourists visiting the markets. You could barely get through the markets without standing in a pedestrian traffic jam—even with the rain! It felt like being at an American theme park during spring break.
If I had to do it again, I would fly into Switzerland, rent a car, and drive into Strasbourg in the middle of the week instead of a weekend. Then you could also take time to see the Christmas markets in nearby villages, which I thought were less crowded, more enjoyable, and so adorable.
Photo courtesy of Ambar Mejia
You Catch More Flies With Honey
While previously in my story, I wished I could go into a rage on everyone, like the woman at reception, I think kindness, being respectful, and keeping a cool head saved us.
Enrique could’ve turned us away. The Airbnb host initially suggested we were wrong and that it was a different kind of bug we found, not bed bugs. She is a Super Host, and this is her business. She could get shut down, and I get that. But we had no incentive to fabricate this.
In both situations, we remained respectful, expressed ourselves calmly, and reinforced what we wanted. And in both situations, we were able to get the resolution we needed.
So, if you’re also the kind of person who struggles to raise your voice and feels that sometimes makes you feel unheard, this is your reminder (and mine) that softness is powerful too.
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Feature image courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Originally published on December 25, 2023
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These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyOkay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
Giphy1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
____
Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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