
Every time that a new season rolls around, something I try and do is provide hair tips to help to prepare for it. Well, now that spring is officially here and I'm pretty sure that you're beyond ready to get out of your house a little bit more, I wanted to make sure that your hair is at its best, whenever you do. So below, you'll find 12 tips that can help your hair to look and feel its best; especially if you're looking to gain a few extra inches come Labor Day.
1. Get a Microfiber Towel for Curly Hair
If you don't treat your hair to anything else this spring season, make sure to cop yourself a microfiber towel. Using a microfiber towel for curly hair is dope because, not only does the material help to prevent snagging, but it also absorbs water without drying out your tresses, and doesn't leave any lint in your hair (a big plus) and it significantly reduces your chances of frizzing. Since it's getting warmer outside and you probably wanna rock more wash 'n go looks more often, all of this is really good to know. Home improvement stores and places like Target and Walmart carry them for a pretty reasonable price.
2. Exfoliate Your Scalp with Homemade Coffee Scrub for the Scalp
As I'm in the midst of my own hair journey, something that I have learned on a very personal level is, that the more I take care of my scalp, the more my hair is able to flourish. That's why I'm all about scalp exfoliation (check out "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend"). It removes dead skin cells. It helps to balance your scalp's pH levels. It unclogs hair follicles. It soothes the scalp (so that you can keep your hands out of your hair more). And, if you decide to exfoliate with coffee beans, it can actually stimulate hair growth. One reason why is because it's able to increase blood circulation to your scalp. Another reason is it contains antioxidants that are able to block DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) which is a hormone that sometimes causes hair loss.
If you'd like to exfoliate with a homemade coffee scrub for the scalp, simply combine three tablespoons of fresh coffee grounds with one tablespoon of brown sugar (it's a humectant; more on that in a sec), two teaspoons of olive oil (olive oil is also high in antioxidants) and a couple of drops of peppermint essential oil (it increases blood circulation, moisturizes and invigorates your scalp). Mix everything together and apply to your damp hair and scalp before shampooing or conditioning your hair. Gently massage your scalp for about five minutes, let the exfoliant sit for five more, rinse your hair with warm water and go on with your wash routine as usual. Your scalp will feel amazing!
3. Skip the Sulfates and Wash Your Curly Hair with Shampoo Bars
It has taken me a hot minute to find the best shampoo for my hair. I've shared before that, for me, shampoo bars are the lick. The ones that I've purchased on Etsy are all-natural and sulfate-free. Also, since they are a bar, I can basically massage my head while applying the shampoo. Shampoo bars are super concentrated with whatever ingredients that they contain. They're good for the environment (because there's nothing to throw away). And they get your hair really clean without totally drying them out.
You can find shampoo bars more and more at local beauty supply stores. As I said, though, Etsy is the lick. Just go to the site, put "shampoo bar" in the search field and you'll be able to read up on all kinds so that you can figure out which one works best for your personal hair needs.
4. Condition Your Hair with Canned Coconut Milk
I don't care how well you take care of your hair, if you're not conditioning it properly, it's never gonna thrive in the way that you truly want it to. Not only does conditioning your locks help to put moisture into them, but it also gives your hair extra sheen, increases its elasticity (so that it doesn't break as much when you're styling it), can reduce the trauma that color-treating your hair can cause and it can decrease the chances of hair damage too. If you'd prefer to go with an all-natural conditioner (so that you can keep a lot of unnecessary chemicals out of your hair), a must-add ingredient is coconut milk.
When it comes to our hair, specifically, coconut milk is high in lauric acid (which helps to strengthen your hair's cuticles). Our hair is made of protein (keratin) and coconut milk is high in it. Vitamins B, C, and E are all up in coconut milk. Some of the properties in coconut milk can actually help to slow down hair loss. The anti-inflammatory properties in coconut milk can soothe scalp irritation and dandruff. And the fatty acids in coconut milk can deeply condition your hair too.
Coconut milk also smells pretty nice in your hair, so if you want to try it as a deep conditioner for your hair, click here to check out a video on how to make it and here for instructions on how to DIY a leave-in option.
5. Use Some Humectants for Your Natural Hair in the Spring
One of the reasons why our hair can sometimes get really dry is our curls happen to be tighter than other ethnicities typically are. As a result, the natural sebum that our hair follicles produce is unable to easily flow down the entire strand of our hair. This is why it's so important to deep condition your hair every wash day. You also should look into adding some humectants to your hair as well. What are humectants and how can you apply them to your hair? Basically, humectants are products that help to pull moisture out from their air and into your hair (and skin). Honey is a humectant. Aloe Vera is a humectant. Vegetable glycerin is a humectant. Off of the top of my head, these are three ingredients that you can add to your shampoo, conditioner or put into a water bottle and lightly spray your hair with that can help to bring moisture to your hair, so that it doesn't feel dry and brittle.
6. Go Lighter with the Types of Hair Creams, Oils, and Butters You Use
Something that I'm a huge fan of is sealing my ends (check out "Top To Bottom: 10 Tips To Strengthen Your Hair Follicles & Protect Your Ends"). It's basically when you apply some type of hair cream or butter (shea butter is bomb) to your ends, after applying some oil to your hair, in order to seal in moisture on your wash day so that your ends break less. While sealing is something that you should do, no matter what time of year it may be, if you've been applying butters and creams to your hair over the fall and winter seasons in order to give your hair more moisture, you might wanna let up on them, just a bit, during the spring and summertime.
The warmer times of the month are usually when we want our hair to have a bit more movement. Besides, butters and creams can weigh your hair down. That's why you might wanna try a light oil instead. Sweet almond oil, grapeseed oil, jojoba oil, avocado oil, pomegranate oil, and argan oil are all potent moisturizers that don't leave a lot of residues behind.
7. Wet ‘n Define Your Curls
Now that it's getting warmer outside, you might want to wear a wash 'n go or twist out more often. If you want either look to last for more than a couple of days, the key is definition. When it comes to wearing a blowout, it's best if you allow your hair to dry about 60 percent before applying the heat of your blow dryer to it so that you don't end up frying your locks (don't forget to put some thermal heat protectant on your hair, by the way). On the other hand, if you want your curls to look as defined as possible, you're going to need to do the complete opposite—your hair needs to be wet, then apply your product, and then allow your hair to air dry.
I already know. This sometimes can take several hours, if not even a couple of days, based on how thick your hair is or how long it may be. Still, it really is the most effective way to get the look that you're after. And just what are some of the best products on the market to achieve the most optimal results? Naturally Curly has a list of 10 defining products that you can check out here. Caring for Natural Hair's site has some good tips for how to have a bangin' wash 'n go. You can check it out here.
8. DIY Your Own Hair Mousse
When it comes to what can give your curls the kind of definition that you're after, it's important that you avoid hair products that contain alcohol. That's because alcohol can dry your hair out and ultimately lead to breakage. So, what should you do? Well, a healthy alternative is to make your own hair mousse. Mousse is great because it is able to protect your strands while reducing frizz and giving them a good amount of definition in the process. If this is something that you want to try, again, check out Naturally Curly's "3 All-Natural (Firm Hold) Curl Styler Recipes". It's got a recipe that's easy to make and makes your hair look and feel pretty amazing.
9. Keep a Rosewater Hair Spritz as a Moisturizer/Conditioner for Your Curls
If you're someone who lets your soul glow by wearing an Afro most of the time, something that you might want to keep close by is some rosewater spritz. Personally, I'm such a fan of it that I actually shouted it out in an article on how to heal dry skin too (you can check it out here). Off top, you can probably guess that rosewater is the ultimate moisturizer/conditioner. And indeed it is.
Rosewater is also really good for your hair because 1) it helps to keep calcium build-up in tap water from damaging your hair; 2) it can help to remove dandruff flakes; 3) it soothes your scalp if it is irritated or inflamed; 4) it reduces frizzing and 5) it adds shine. Something else that's great about rosewater is if you use it as a spritz in your hair, the scent of it can actually help to decrease symptoms that are related to headaches and migraines (how cool is that?).
If you want to make some of your own from the comfort and convenience of your own home, check out this video and this video for step-by-step tutorials.
10. Pull Out the Hair Accessories
Hair has décor trends, just like anything else does. So, why not get into some of the hair accessories that have already proven to be really popular this year? Some of them include super-wide, braided and beaded headbands; vintage scarves (like literally tying them underneath your chin); hats with wide brims; either really small or super large hair clips; pearly hair claws; putting multiple hair pins in your hair at one time (like on the back when you're rocking a low ponytail); black ribbons and, of course, flowers.
11. Get on Top of the 2021 Hair Trends
When it's cold outside, we're oftentimes rocking hats and wrapping our hair up in scarves in order to protect it from the harsh winds and bitter chilly temps. Now that the weather is milder, it's time to put our hair up into some trends, don't you think? Some popular ones for 2021 include Bantu knots, long braids and twists, layered textured bobs, bangs, and "messy hair" (which is basically just adding a little bit of product to whatever your natural texture is and letting your hair do whatever it wants to do).
For the most part, what it basically boils down to is "less is more". Just make sure that if you go with a protective style that you read "This Is How To Know Your Protective Style Ain't Workin'" beforehand. There's no point in rockin' one if it's ultimately gonna damage your natural hair in the process.
12. Enjoy Wearing Your Hair Out More
A woman by the name of Jessica Harrelson once said, "Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is." I definitely believe that there is a lot of truth to this. So, let this be the season when you fully embrace your hair's texture and, even if it's just on the weekends, that you enjoy wearing it out more. After all, your hair is your crown, right? Let the sun kiss it. Take some pictures outdoors. Let everyone see how gorgeous your curls truly are. Allow your tresses to…fully bloom!
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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While doing a podcast interview a couple of weeks ago, when I said my age, the interviewer complimented me by saying that what I said is not what they would’ve guessed. When they asked what the secret was, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’m gonna take me a nap.”
I adore sleep. I’ve said before that it’s like what Six Flags is to some people. And really, it’s just a plus that there are so many health benefits from getting plenty of rest. Beauty-wise, science does reveal that getting no less than seven hours a night can slow down signs of aging. Know what else? There are some direct things that sleep — and the lack thereof — can do to your immunity as well.
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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