Quantcast

Ask Ayana Iman: How Do I Find Closure After Being Ghosted?

Sex & Love - Home Page

Dear Ayana Iman: How do you let go of someone who never said goodbye?


It sounds like you've been ghosted: the act of ceasing all communication without justification. It's a power move, which allows the other person to take control of the situation by eliminating emotional fallout. I'm sorry this has happened to you, no one deserves it. In my opinion, it's disrespectful and a selfish way to end any relationship. The sad reality is relationships are at will…meaning either person can end it at any time without reason or warning.

The need for closure is human. We all want to know the cause of breakups to maintain our dignity. I do, however, hope you can see this person was a jerk and undeserving of your time.

media.giphy.com

Here are some things to consider moving forward:

  1. You are worthy.
  2. Grieving is necessary. Give yourself the freedom to let go of distress.
  3. The relationship ended for reasons you couldn't control and that is not your fault.
  4. Forgive yourself for trusting someone who didn't have good intentions.
  5. Acknowledge the end of the relationship and accept it.
  6. This is a new chapter and you are allowed to take your power back.
  7. Surround yourself with people who love you.
  8. Don't waste your energy rebounding for the sake of not feeling lonely; you are not alone.
  9. Focus on moving forward by setting goals and revisiting your bucket list.
  10. Take it one day at a time.

Dear Ayana Iman: I'm 33 years old and stuck in a rut. I'm currently working at a dead end job but I need the money so I cannot quit.The job isn't bad, it can be stressful, but it's just not paying me enough to survive. I would like to follow my passion of having my own media and film production company. I've even went as far as creating a name and registering it but I'm not college educated and early on, I made some mistakes in life which lead to a felony background and difficulty in obtaining employment. I'm sort of playing catch up on everything: bills, life, etc. What should I do??

Hey Sis, the power is in the tongue. If you want to own a media and film production company, speak life into it. You don't have to be college educated to start or own a business. That is a myth.

The mistakes you've made are in the past; forgive yourself.

Here are some people trying to change the stigma of convicted felons. Yes, life can be unkind, especially when opportunities feel scarce, but there is no limit on your glory. One way to pay homage to your growth is to share your story and provide a platform for others to share their experiences.

media.giphy.com

Utilize social media as a free tool to post your work and build your tribe. Create an email list and share your goals and progress with subscribers. Identify the cost associated with running your media company and crowdsource funds to cover projects. Also, find mentors in the business to gain clarity and access to information.

Director Ava DuVernay didn't pick up a camera until she was 32, and now she's directing blockbuster films. She forged her own path and is constantly breaking down barriers. There is room for your gift and if you're willing to do the work, change is possible.

Do you have a question about love, life, career, wellness, etc. that you'd like for life coach Ayana to answer in a future Ask Ayana Iman segment? Submit your questions here for a chance to have your question answered! Click here for past Ask Ayana Iman posts to see if your question has already been answered!

Featured image by Shutterstock

Over the years, Kelly Rowland has been open about her insecurities and lack of self-confidence in her skin, but now she’s sharing how affirmations helped her overcome self-doubt. The “Motivation” singer spoke with Hello Beautiful about the many challenges women face when looking in the mirror. “My biggest insecurity would probably be, one of the many, I usually challenge how smart I am,” she said.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but sis, it's time for you to start having better sex. And not for the obvious reasons. Yes, we all know that sex is great for boosting the immune system, improving your sleep, clearing your skin, and is a form of preventative medicine. But did you also know that sex is a great inclusion to your manifestation practices? When exercised properly, your orgasms can be the gateway to getting the things you ultimately want in life. This can be achieved through a little-known practice called "sex magic."

Keep reading... Show less

Not to toot my horn or anything but I have a natural six-pack. Whether I exercise or not, it’s right there — showin’ out and off. Here’s the challenge, though — as I’ve gotten older, it’s been easier and easier for a layer or two of fat to cover it, so I’ve had to get real with myself about the fact that drinking IZZEs all day and eating ice cream late at night are not the way to go if I still want my natural six-pack to make an appearance.

Keep reading... Show less

For the leading fellas of Freeform’s college comedy-drama, grown-ish, graduation season is quickly approaching, forcing Aaron (Trevor Jackson), Doug (Diggy Simmons), Vivek (Jordan Buhat), and Luca (Luka Sabbat) to come to grips with what life after Cal-U will have in store. As the beaus find themselves crossed between self-induced drama and campus tea, the forthcoming season will bring the cohort of lads closer to the reality of the end of one chapter and the start of something new.

Keep reading... Show less

Lori Harvey’s foray into modeling might not be what you think. While she models sexy fits on Instagram, she isn’t what you would call an Instagram model. If you look at her resume, you will see that she has walked runways for luxury brands such as Dolce and Gabbana and has been featured in campaigns for Chanel and most recently Burberry. At 5’3'' with a curvy frame, Lori isn’t your traditional model, and she dealt with body insecurities when she first entered the fashion industry.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts