Aight. This is the kind of article that is pretty near and dear to my heart because, when it comes to caring for my scalp and hair, I have spent quite a few years trying to figure out the difference between when I've got dandruff and when my scalp is simply dry. And believe you me, it's not until you actually get that those two things are not one in the same, that you're able to get to the root of what may be causing your incessant itching, irritation and/or flaking, so that you can find some serious relief.
So, if you've already scratched your scalp once, even since reading this intro, and you're saying to yourself, "Enough is enough, dammit!", I've got some info that can definitely put you on the path towards healing your scalp and feeling much better overall.
What Is Dandruff?
So, here's the thing about dandruff. Every minute, our body sheds somewhere between 30,000-40,000 dead skin cells. Our scalp is certainly not exempt from this fact. Well, when dandruff occurs, it's the result of our scalp shedding an accelerated amount of cells. As a result, there is oftentimes noticeable flaking (flakes that are pretty large and oftentimes greasy in texture) and a significant amount of itching and scalp irritation.
As far as what causes dandruff, that is a pretty layered answer. For starters, there is a fungus/yeast that lives on most of our scalps caused Malassezia. When Malassezia gets out of control, it can result in dandruff (kind of like how when a yeast gets out of control in our vagina, it can cause a yeast infection). If Malassezia is what's triggering your dandruff, the dandruff probably won't go away until you get rid of the fungus/yeast (via topical or oral antifungal agents that may require a prescription by your doctor, depending on how bad it is). Something else that can cause dandruff to occur is a scalp that is too oily or has too much product build-up. This is problematic because oil and "gunk" is something that Malassezia actually feeds off of; that's why it's so important to keep your scalp and hair clean by washing them every 10 days or so.
Two other things that can cause dandruff that aren't discussed enough are bacterial infections and allergies. Both of these can result in the speeding up of dead skin cells. On the allergy tip, if you happen to try a new product and your scalp doesn't like it, it could end up shedding more skin cells in order to remove the product which could also cause dandruff.
As I said, dandruff is the result of all kinds of stuff. Yet knowing the main ones can help you to get to the root of what could be giving you dandruff drama.
Home Treatments for Dandruff: How to Take Care of Dandruff
Now that you know what typically triggers dandruff, I'm pretty sure you're wondering if there is anything that you can do to prevent it or, at the very least, manage it. In many cases, definitely. For starters, you might want to look into using a shampoo that has salicylic acid in it. That's a type of dissolving agent that is actually found in foods like blueberries, avocados, and pine nuts. Anyway, what it does is soften the top layer of your scalp and wash away the extra dead skin cells, so that they're less itchy and irritating. Salicylic acid also has the ability to remove oily build-up and can soothe dermatitis if you happen to have that skin issue too. (By the way, if you're low on cash, you can crush a couple of aspirin up and put them into your shampoo. It works because aspirin has salicylic acid in it.)
Next, it's important that you increase your zinc and Vitamin B intake. It's been discovered that a lot of people who struggle with dandruff happen to be low in both of these nutrients. You can take them in supplement form or you can consume foods that are high in both of these vitamins. Foods high in zinc include meat, seeds, nuts, eggs, and whole grains. Foods high in Vitamin B include leafy greens, seafood, fortified cereals, yogurt, and poultry.
If you're looking for some at-home remedies for dandruff, here are a few that are pretty effective:
- Tea tree oilcontains potent anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory properties that will fight fungus/yeast. Add a few drops of the tea tree oil to your shampoo for maximum results.
- Aloe Vera has antibacterial and antifungal properties that will not only help to protect your scalp from getting dandruff, it will also soothe your scalp as it heals from it. You can apply the gel directly to your scalp. Let it sit for about an hour and then shampoo and condition your hair as normal (just make sure the gel is 100 percent pure).
- Apple cider vinegar has the ability to balance the pH levels in your scalp. The more balanced your scalp is, the more challenging it is for fungus/yeast to thrive. Just apply one-part water and one-part apple cider vinegar as a rinse to your scalp on wash day. Let it penetrate for five minutes or so and then rinse with cool water.
- Listerine is something else that stops dandruff in its track. That's because the menthol it contains is a great fungus/yeast fighter. Simply mix two tablespoons of the mouthwash with a half-cup of distilled water. Use it as a pre-rinse before shampooing and conditioning your hair. Again, it's pretty effective.
- Manage your stress levels. It really is a trip, just how much of our overall health and well-being is tied into how stressed we are—or aren't. When it comes to dandruff specifically, when you're stressed out, your immune system is compromised. When that happens, it's easy for fungus/yeast to overtake your system.
If you try all of these DIY treatments and your dandruff does not improve, see your doctor or a dermatologist. You may need something more powerful to get the fungus/yeast under control. Also, do not skimp out on not conditioning your hair, thinking that it will help. Your scalp needs proper moisture; what it doesn't need is a ton of product build-up, so wash your hair no less than every 10-14 days (more around the 8-10 day mark while you're trying to manage your dandruff).
What Is Dry Scalp?
Now let's get into what dry scalp is all about. If you happen to live in a climate that is very dry or is extremely hot in the summer and bitterly cold in the winter; if you constantly wash your hair in hot water; if you've already got a skin condition (like eczema); if the rest of your skin is dry, or if you're dehydrated (check out "10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated"), you are definitely someone who is prone to have dry scalp.
That's because dry scalp is what happens as the direct result of your scalp not getting enough of the oil that it needs in order to stay moisturized. And, just like the rest of your body, when your scalp is parched, that can make it itchy, irritated, and can result in small flakes of dead skin coming up.
It should probably also go on record that aging can also subject you to having dry scalp, simply because, as you get older, it can be harder for your scalp to hold onto the natural sebum that your body produces. By the way, it is quite possible that you can have dandruff and dry scalp at the same time; although, if you adhere to the tips that I already provided regarding dandruff, you should be able to tell the difference between the two in no time.
Home Remedies for Dry Scalp: How to Treat Dry Scalp
As far as dry scalp goes, there are several at-home remedies that can quickly get you on the path to some real relief.
- First, it's important that you drink plenty of water. As we've already discussed, dehydration plays a real role in dry scalp, so the more water you've got into your body, the better.
- Something that can help to moisturize and heal your dry scalp is coconut oil. That's because it's an oil that has antifungal and antibacterial properties that can help to keep fungus/yeast at bay. If you're someone who likes to "oil your scalp", applying a little bit of it once or twice a week can help to make dry scalp a thing of the past.
- Foods with omega-3 fatty acids in them can help to deeply penetrate your scalp and give it extra moisture from the inside out. Some foods that have those acids in them are salmon, chia seeds, flaxseeds, walnuts and algae. While we're on the topic of diet, it's a good idea to eat more moisturizing foods, period. For some suggestions, check out "These Foods Will Give Your Skin & Hair The Moisture They Crave" on our site.
- A great rinse for dry scalp is witch hazel. It contains some powerful astringent properties that can cleanse your scalp without stripping it dry. Combine one-part witch hazel with one-part water, along with five drops of lavender essential oil (it's got antimicrobial and antibacterial properties) and five drops of sweet almond oil (it's a deep conditioner). Pour all of this onto your hair before shampooing it. Gently massage your scalp and then shampoo and condition as usual.
- Add some jojoba oil to your shampoo. It has Vitamin E and zinc in it which will help to soothe your dry scalp while moisturizing it at the same time.
Dandruff and dry scalp can both be a pain, no doubt. Yet, more times than not, they are both pretty easy to manage, so long as you know exactly what you've got and you are consistent in applying remedies to them. Here's to being scalp healthy and itch-free, sis. For real, tho.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.
The couple met years ago at their alma mater, Clark Atlanta University, when they were still working to create the life they have now, and if you had told them then that they’d eventually tie the knot, the pair probably would’ve laughed in your face.
Today, they’re new parents, flourishing in their careers, and each others’ “teammates.” When desiring love, Dalen recommends not looking to other couples for advice. And Stacey advises staying true to what you want. “Don’t put age or limitations on love and children. If God could do it for me, why can’t he do it for you?”
Here's How We Met.
How did you meet?
Dalen: We met in 2005 when she was advising the Greek sororities and fraternities in college. She was old as hell in college, and I was a young buck (laughs). Everybody had a crush on her, but I didn’t think much of it. Then, in 2007, we were in the same grad school class, but she still wasn’t trying to see me then either. I had to catch her five years ago; I was very patient.
Stacey: Yeah, everybody in our grad school class called him Young, Fresh to Death because he was always dressed in B-school (what CAU affectionately refers to as business major classes), and we’d just wear sweatpants (laughs).
So, I know Dalen was always attracted to you. But what about you? Did your attraction to him develop over time?
Stacey: So 2006-2008 – all the years went by. I don’t think we were really thinking about each other at all back then. Years later, I had an event in Dallas, and I booked him to be a speaker. Then, a few years ago, Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: "If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you." But I still thought he was too young at the time, and he started pulling receipts. Taraji P. Henson was dating someone young at the time, Gabrielle Union–
Dalen: First of all, I didn’t do that. You did that.
Stacey: Okay, I did. I thought he was a cutie pie, but that age thing was on my mind!
"Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: 'If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you.'"
Talk to me about the first date. How did he change your mind?
Stacey: Our first date was at Tin Lizzy's in Atlanta. During that time, he was living in Dallas, so it was long-distance. But he came into town, and we just had a good time. We talked a lot, which we still do. It wasn’t anything fantastic.
Dalen: Don’t downplay our first date.
Then, walk me through your courtship. How did you get to the next level? What was that conversation like?
Stacey: I think he knew at age 43 or 44 I wasn’t playing around. But also, I think it just naturally progressed.
Dalen: Yeah, it just happened naturally. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t think initially either one of us thought it would be as serious as it was. She thought I was too young and I wasn’t ready for marriage, kids, and all that. I think we both thought we were just hanging out. But after spending so much time together, a lot of stuff started happening. Like, she had to have surgery early on. It wasn’t just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That’s why we still don’t have an anniversary date because we never really asked.
"It wasn't just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That's why we still don't have an anniversary date because we never really asked."
What made you want to commit to each other?
Dalen: The moment I knew Stacey was for me was from a phone call. I don’t really like talking on the phone, and I can be really blunt sometimes. But we were talking, and I said, ‘I don’t really feel like talking anymore.’ And she was just like, okay, and hung up. I wasn’t trying to be rude, and she understood that. It sounds bad, but that’s how I knew she just got me. I felt like she could get my random awkward moments, and she does to this day.
Stacey: For me, I liked him as a person. Even when times get rough and tough, I could still like him as a human. He is my best friend. We have time. We laugh until we cry, and it’s just always like that. Even when we get pissed at each other, something happens, and we fix it. Also, how he treats his mother. That’s a momma’s boy, but I’m a daddy’s girl – so I get it. I know how I want to be treated, and I see how he is with her and that’s beautiful.
What are some important lessons you’ve learned about yourself through loving your partner in this relationship?
Dalen: I grew up an only child and she grew up with siblings. So, when you have someone who is used to doing things by themselves, there is definitely a learning curve when you get into a serious relationship. It’s funny now, but it was definitely a process.
Stacey: I agree – definitely the only child thing. There’s times I look at him like, did you ever live with anyone else? That comes from being momma's baby, too. I have to say, my “mother-in-love” spoiled him. But also with Axel (their daughter), that brings another level of patience.
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Dalen: We’ve gone through a lot within the years we’ve been together. We suffered two miscarriages – I’d say that’s the biggest.
Stacey: Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me. I was wondering if I can’t carry [a child] what that looks like for us. We had very real conversations pretty early in our relationship.
"Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me."
What do you fight the most about?
Dalen: Nagging. Stacey nags; she’s a complainer. She’s that momma that will look in a room and just hunt for something to complain about. Like, I’m worried for Axel when she's in high school.
Stacey: It’s because I like things to be in place. He leaves stuff all over the place. I can tell where he’s been in the house because something is left around. So he says I’m nagging – but it’s like, just get your stuff.
What are your love languages?
Dalen: Stacey is gifts all day.
Dalen: We’ve talked about this. xoNecole is about to cause problems in our home (laughs).
Stacey: Obviously I love you. *thinks again* It’s words of affirmation.
Dalen: That’s it.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Dalen: I’ve always respected her business-mindedness. That may sound superficial, but it’s not because I’ve never been with someone who thinks like me. It’s one of my most treasured things about her. I remember one day, I was just running through ideas with her, and each time Stacey had a suggestion on how I could make it better. It’s just very comforting. She takes whatever I’m doing and elevates it – including me.
Stacey: I love Dalen’s hustle and creativity. He’s been on multiple shows, and he continues to create, produce, and reinvent himself and the product he’s putting out. I love that we can create together and bounce things off each other. Even though we may be in different arenas, there’s nothing he can’t offer me great advice about. I love that drive.
Finally, how did you know it was love?
Dalen: Well – she said it – first. (laughs)
Stacey: And he looked at me and smiled! He didn’t say it back. We were on a trip, out of the country.
Dalen: We were arguing when she said it, and she just threw it out.
Stacey: But we continue to do that. We’ve spent holidays and everything outside of the country.
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The conversation about sex and intimacy often neglects the experiences of individuals with disabilities. Society's misguided notion that individuals with disabilities are devoid of desires for love, intimacy, and sexual fulfillment is not only preposterous but also damaging, but one disability activist is here to challenge that narrative.
"Society's perception of disability has greatly influenced my own understanding and expression of my sexuality," said author and disabled influencer Tylia L. Flores. "The stigma associated with my disability made it difficult for me to express myself freely, leading to self-esteem issues during my teenage years."
Born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy, Flores refuses to let her condition define her love life or limit her aspirations. As a passionate advocate for her community, she's on a mission to shatter misconceptions and pave the way for a more inclusive understanding of sexuality within the disabled community.
Misconceptions About Sexuality for the Disabled Community
Ableist misconceptions cast shadows over romantic pursuits for disabled individuals. These misunderstandings can lead to assumptions and judgments that hinder their ability to explore and experience love fully.
For instance, Flores revealed that most believe her caregiver, her mother, or another abled-bodied individual has total influence over her decisions with a partner. Contrary to popular belief, Flores wants the world to know she has complete control over her emotions and decisions regarding her dating and sex life.
"By educating others about sexuality and disability, I challenge these stereotypes and break down barriers. By being open about my experiences and advocating for inclusivity, I hope to inspire others to see beyond misconceptions and embrace diverse experiences within the disabled community," Flores stated.
Another misconception is disabled characters in movies, shows, or books cannot be the main character of affection or have sex. Media representations often portray disabled characters as either asexual or objects of pity, reinforcing harmful stereotypes and perpetuating that disabled individuals are not sexual beings.
"The only way we could create a more inclusive world for Black women with disabilities is to have more Black women come out and voice their truths in the mainstream media and literature, and that's my whole goal as an author," said Flores. "I want to see more disabled characters have sex on TV screens and express themselves sexually like abled-bodied characters."
Ignoring The Suggestion of ‘Limited Romance’ in Partners
The stigma surrounding disability and sexuality finds its roots in deeply ingrained societal biases and stereotypes. Throughout history, people with disabilities were systematically marginalized and desexualized, relegated to the fringes of society. This pervasive attitude stems from a misguided belief that disability diminishes one's humanity, erasing desires and needs deemed as "normal" for able-bodied individuals.
"As a Black woman with cerebral palsy, I have faced challenges in navigating intimate relationships. One challenge has been the lingering belief among many that individuals with disabilities should be limited in their romantic choices by only dating or being intimate with other disabled people," Flores explained. "This suggestion is based on assumptions that individuals with physical disabilities are not capable of having fulfilling relationships."
She overcame this by putting herself out there and actively sharing her life and experiences with others. The author also noted that she doesn't have a "type" limited to African Americans or disabled. She prioritized finding love based on shared values, compatibility, and sexual desires. Additionally, she recommended showing yourself without fear of judgment or prejudice when it comes to dating or having a sexual relationship. The right person will value and respect you, disability and all.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Renata Angerami/ Getty Images