Black K-Pop Fans Are Here To Tell You All About Their Lit Fan Community
Call me old, and maybe I am, but I'm just now learning about the world of K-pop, and the degree of which it is celebrated.
K-pop, short for Korean pop, is a popular music genre originating in South Korea that's basically taking the world by storm. It's highly influenced by styles and genres from around the world, such as rock, jazz, gospel, hip hop, R&B, reggae, electronic dance, folk, country, and classical, on top of its traditional Korean music roots.
One of the most impressive things about K-pop, is their loyal fanbase, reminiscent of the early 2000's boy band saga. And like so many others, there's a black following of listeners who have also gravitated to the movement, causing many of its artists to take note. For example, BTS, one of the more popular K-pop bands, took the initiative to show support and label themselves as allies by donating a million dollars to Black Lives Matter--ultimately encouraging their avid fanbase ARMY to match the donation. This was a huge gesture, considering there have been talks of anti-blackness in K-pop fandom.
The appeal is magnetic and we found some ladies willing to discuss just what that appeal is. Here are their stories:
Sequerstin | 23 | Memphis, TN
Courtesy of Sequerstin
I grew up living with my mom and my dad separately. My dad introduced me to the world of video games and anime. I was always the weird introverted cousin, preferring to be alone most of the time, and as my old English teacher would put it, "I was scarily quiet"--the biggest contrast to my loud, outspoken family. My interest in mostly pop and anime made me stand as well. I felt like I didn't fit in--not just in my family, but the black community as a whole. I've grown to not be ashamed of it now.
I discovered K-pop on YouTube one random day. I was searching for Keri Hilson's "Pretty Girl Rock", but instead, I found nine Korean girls dancing to it. The actual music video of Girls' Generation was linked. I was super intrigued, so I clicked on it, and was sent to another one of their music videos. Before I knew it, I was in a hole watching the next music video and the next and the next. I had instantly become a fan.
I loved their choreography, the music, the concepts. It was so refreshingly different from Western artists. The fact that they train for years before they even debut shows on stage with each performance. They also have so many variety shows and you get to watch them doing the simplest of things: cooking or enjoying a water park. It's fun seeing them interact and grow.
Admittedly, I don't participate in the fandom as much as I used to when I was younger. Now, I just enjoy their music, watch performances, vote, and go. There's so many toxic fans, and a lot of them like to stir up drama, I see it up and down Twitter and in Facebook comments. It gotten pretty bad, honestly.
Not only did I sense anti-blackness from the genre, but also non-black K-pop fans. It's a sad world really. For instance, South Korea's beauty standards include pale skin (white as a ghost), skinny, v-shaped jawline, and high bridge nose. It speaks for itself. I've watched Korean variety shows where they made fun of an idol who wasn't as pale, saying they needed to bathe and scrub off the dirt.
When I saw that clip it made me wonder, "Well if they're dark then what am I?" Or "Will my idol consider me ugly?" Sometimes I think they forget international fans are watching, but they continue on or they just don't care.
There's so much cultural appropriation, yet I still read/watch videos of black people facing racism in Korea. International fans are referred to as "Koreaboos", meaning we're trying to be Korean. I can't speak for everyone because there are some out there who try, but most of us just enjoy the music and appreciate the culture. I do find their culture fascinating but never tried to participate myself. I watch from the sidelines.
Oh, and Western media likes to say we're young teenage fans, when a lot of us are grown grown.
At the moment, my favorite group is TWICE. Their concepts are very cutesy, which isn't common in America but it works for them. They're chemistry is amazing. Yes, they were put together by a company, but strong bonds is what keeps them going for so long. And every song they've put out—a bop.
As far as BTS donating to Black America, I'm proud of them. They do nothing but promote peace, loving yourself and others. This is coming from a group that is heavily influenced by black culture. Their discography includes R&B and rap/ hip-hop. They've had a lot of eyes on them since the Billboard Awards and it's only right they lead by example.
Akilah | 29 | Miami, FL
Courtesy of Akilah
I was a quiet and imaginative child. I was always creative and curious and loved putting and making things, but I was never confident to show who I was or be myself. I was the type of girl who followed what her brothers did; from TV shows I watched, all the video games I ever played, to the sports I later played, I grew to love because I was with my older and younger brother. From there, I became immersed into gaming, comics books, cosplay and anime and even falling in love with something that was considered not normal at the time, aka K-pop.
It was really easy for me to get into K-pop since I was already really into watching shoujo anime and listening to tons of J-pop and J-rock artists. But what really made that extra push, was getting into K-drama, or Korean Dramas (Boys Over Flowers, my first K-drama). That's what really opened my doors fully because I got curious to explore more of the music and culture.
K-pop is fun, K-pop is free. K-pop allows you be your best self. Beside the music and the videos, what really draws you in, is the idols themselves. A lot of them you could relate to being different and doing what makes you happy. With that I feel K-pop aids you to find a voice to inspire!
As a fan, I've honestly heard a lot of crazy stuff questioning my blackness. I have a few friends I have met over time from going to different K-pop events and concerts, but a lot of my closest friends are either curious about the music or simply just don't understand. I often hear from non-fans that I must be lost or the music does not speak a message or oftentimes people would jokingly say that "I'm gonna marry a Korean man" or "I fetishize them."
It is never the case.
I grew to understand who I am as a person and not let a language barrier be the factor as to why I can't listen to music. At the end of the day, music is music. And I LOVE music. My favorite K-pop artist would have to be the renaissance man himself, Jay Park! Jay Park really made a name for himself in South Korea with his music. He is a man with drive, a vision, and he keeps going and going. His hustle don't stop! PLUS, I was able to see him live in person and his performance was AMAZING! He carries so much stage presence and confidence. Who wouldn't love a man like that!?
Anyway, K-pop has seriously came a long way with understanding black culture and I feel like K-pop as an industry is still learning. I honestly felt when BTS donated the millions to Black America, it was expected.
BTS is about healing the world and being yourself and loving yourself. If you love yourself, it will heal others around you. I feel it was just of them to do what they did to help spread love and to aid those who need help and that love. Love heals.
Chelsea | 24 | Washington D. C.
Courtesy of Chelsea
I grew up in Plano, Texas, a suburb outside of Dallas. My brothers and I went to a predominantly white, Christian private school that I don't have fond memories of. I struggle to talk about it because I find myself trying to downplay my feelings, trying to "oh, it wasn't that bad" myself into oblivion, but growing up like that was hard. I never felt like a person, I always felt like an Other. I felt unseen and unheard and alone, more often than not. And when I did feel "seen", it was when I was being tokenized, or used, or paraded like a show pony at a circus. "Look at how smart/kind/sweet/articulate/well-spoken she is!" white people would exclaim, as if I was an anomaly. It was weird. It's still weird.
In the summer of 2011, I was up late one night on YouTube and I was recommended the music video for SHINee's "Lucifer". You know that moment when Alice jumps down the rabbit hole? That music video was it for me. I was hooked. I needed to hear every album they had ever released and see all of their music videos and watch all of their variety show appearances. But, at first, I resisted. I told myself that I couldn't like SHINee. I refused to download the song to my phone. I was already getting weird looks for the anime I watched at home and the manga that I brought with me to school. I knew my peers and my family thought the things I liked were strange and I told myself I didn't need the extra attention another unconventional interest would bring me.
Sad, right?
I don't remember when, exactly, I finally broke and downloaded the entire Lucifer album, but I'm glad I did. The music and the fandom and the friends I've made through it—I can't imagine these past nine years without any of it. Some of the most loving, genuine friends I have in this life I met because I was listening to K-pop on my phone in public or tweeting about it. The community, when it's good, is amazing.
As far as the music, I love it, of course. I've always been a boy band/girl band person. I loved B2K and *NSYNC, and when I listen to songs like EXO's "Growl" or "Bad Boy" by Big Bang, I get those 90's pop/R&B heartthrob vibes that I'm a sucker for. I love the music videos, too, and I love how conceptual K-pop is. How each album is an "era", and each era brings a new sound, new styling, new hair.
It's also fascinating to me on a scholarly level. Seeing the way Korean culture is being spread through K-pop and how it's interacting with/taking from Black culture is so intriguing to me. So much so that I wrote my senior thesis on it in undergrad!
People outside of fandom can say all sorts of crazy things. I've had people assume that I only like/date Asian men because I listen to Korean music, people insinuate that I'm not Black enough (or Black at all), that I'm weird, that I want to be Asian. And even within fandom, there are stereotypes. When I first got into K-pop, every time I found another person who liked it (which was a rare occurrence back then), when it came time to ask about who our favorite groups were, it was always assumed, every single time, that mine must be BigBang or 2NE1. Because if the black girl is into K-Pop, it must be the rap/hip-hop leaning stuff, right? Not the worst thing in the world, but a hurtful microaggression, nonetheless.
Actually, this is disheartening to admit, but anti-blackness is something I expect from fandom spaces and music genres. K-pop is not exempt. I've seen Mamamoo in blackface, heard Zico drop the n-word, seen him wear confederate flags. Non-black K-pop fans like to appropriate AAVE to hype up their faves, and then turn around and call a black fan a racial slur or tell them to "go listen to rap music" when their opinions differ. It's ugly. It's hurtful. I have a hard time being active in fandom because of it and it sucks to feel like even my would-be happy place is full of anti-blackness.
With that said, I do think it's nice that BTS and Big Hit and other Korean artists like pH-1 and Jay Park and CL are donating and speaking out about the things that are happening to black people—I was especially pleased by CL's statement, where she acknowledged the K-pop industry is inspired by black culture and she encouraged fans and other artists to give and support and show love.
Black people deserve love and support (always, but especially now), and all the black artists that have passed through K-pop idols' lips when they're asked about what "inspiration" deserved their flowers. I am, however, concerned with performative donations with no action or change or any real heat or meaning behind them, but that's a concern that's not just limited to K-pop.
Feature image courtesy of Chelsea Irvin
- K-Pop Fans Defuse Racist Hashtags | The New Yorker ›
- K-pop fans emerge as a powerful force in US protests - BBC News ›
- The Traumatic Black Female Experience in K-Pop Fandoms ›
- K-pop fans flood social media to support Black Lives Matter - Los ... ›
- K-pop fans take over anti-Black hashtags with memes and fancams ... ›
- Black K-pop fans continue to face racism online - The Verge ›
- How K-Pop Fans Actually Work as a Force for Political Activism in ... ›
- Why Obsessive K-Pop Fans Are Turning Toward Political Activism ... ›
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images