Before J. Alphonse Nicholson was Lil Murda on the Starz drama P-Valley, he was going back and forth between North Carolina and New York to pursue his dream of acting. The actor comes from a creative background. His mother used to write screenplays for their church while he had a passion for music and wanted to be a music teacher and play in a band as a drummer. It wasn’t until he began attending North Carolina Central University that he decided to take a stab at acting and like they say, the rest is history.
But it wasn’t easy. He dropped out of college to pursue acting and as a young parent, he was constantly away from his son and family. Speaking to xoNecole’s Dana Blair for our xoMan series, J. Alphonse opened up about balancing co-parenting at a young age, hustling, and trying to make acting happen while also keeping his mental together.
“It was hard,” he started. “There was a lot of times I wanted to go back home and get my job back at FedEx. And do whatever other side hustle I had going on. And I missed my son a lot too. That was the hardest part for me, was being away from my son.”
xoMan: J. Alphonse Nicholson on Falling In Love, Criticism & Love Languages
J. Alphonse and Nafeesha have a blended family sharing a son and daughter. “It was hard. It was hard. And it was one of those things where I had plenty of moments where I wanted to give up, but I think the same things I wanted to go back to – the same thing that I wanted to be there for every day like my son and not having to worry about you know certain things as an artist – it was also the same things that motivate me.”
“My son, I wanted him to have a better life than I had. I didn’t have a horrible life, you know but it was tough. My mom was a single mom. (J. Alphonse’s father passed away when he was 12-years-old). She had to work multiple jobs to make sure she provided for us. That was a constant reminder that I don’t want my son to have to relive some of the hardships I had to [live] and I want to build a life for myself. So that was my constant motivation. And then just, I knew at some point that I was going to be able to make a mark with storytelling, whether it was big or small. So, this opportunity with Lil Murda (his character in P-Valley) came years down the line. And I’m glad that I didn’t give up.”
Lil Murda may be his breakout role but J. Alphonse has acted in other projects such as Just Mercy and he has also performed on Broadway. For those who may be unfamiliar with the Starz series, P-Valley is about a struggling strip club called The Pynk in Chucalissa, Mississippi and J. Alphonse plays an up-and-coming rapper named Lil Murda who keeps his sexual identity hidden in order to make it in the hip hop industry.
“I had a lot of great opportunities prior to that too. I know a lot of people know me for Lil Murda but the Just Mercy’s of the world, the Self Made’s, and all of the theater stages I’ve been able to step on. Broadway. All those things are milestones that you end up stacking up and it’s like, ‘Oh okay, I’m getting somewhere. Like my foundation is building,’” he said.
“So you have to physically see those things. So a lot of times, yeah, I had to brush myself off, cry, you know, call my girlfriend, my then-fiancee, now-wife you know, to really chop these things up and figure out exactly how you want to move throughout life… It was tough but I think I had the right people in my corner.”
Some of those people in his corner include his best friends and of course his wife. The North Carolina native gushed over his wife and shared how she has been his rock while he was struggling to make it in entertainment.
“Shout out to some of my best friends Denzel and Khalil who are like my brothers, I’ve known them since I was 15, and then ultimately shout out to my wife,” he said. “When I met her, I was still going through it. You know, still trying to make things happen. But I feel like her support and love around me and her vision for who we were as a couple motivated me 100 times more to go out and get it.”
J. Alphonse’s relationship with his wife Nafeesha is a true example of a partnership. The musician explained how they have conversations about the vision they see for their family and their lives. He credited his wife for having patience with him and his career while also making her own dreams come true.
“We always discussed it. It’s kinda like one of those things like, I’m a big dreamer, you know? And my wife, she’s a big dreamer as well, but she’s a big doer. Shout out to my wife. She doesn’t have to really talk about the things that she wants to accomplish or the things she’s accomplished already. She’s accomplished a lot of things that people may not know of but she has an understanding of who she is and what she’s been able to do,” he explained.
“And I’m the one who kinda like, ‘I need this crib down there with the jacuzzi,’ and she’s like, ‘You’re gonna get it. Take your time. Pace yourself.’ It works perfect. It’s a perfect balance. For us, we always have these conversations about what we want our life to be. And then you have a show like P-Valley comes around which is kind of like, ‘Oh okay, this is a different thing that has happened that’s come into our life we weren’t expecting, how do you deal with fame, celebrity, and then how do you deal with such a complex character and the things people have to say about me and the things they place on me personally and place on my wife?’”
He continued, “So, we have conversations about those things and keep each other lifted and we talk about the future too. ‘You got this movie coming up, you got this TV show coming up,’ we can’t wait for that. We can’t wait to get our kids into school and you know get them off to college in the next couple of years. All the real-life stuff outside of acting and entrepreneurship that we build on and I would just say that it’s been probably one of the biggest joys of my life having someone to build with on a constant, on a daily basis.”
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Featured image by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for STARZ
The Real Reason You Overthink And Crave Reassurance In Love
Over 40 million Americans have an anxiety disorder. However, what if I told you that everyone on the planet experiences situational anxiety - feelings of anxiousness when exposed to certain situations - and this isn't a diagnosis but rather a part of everyday life?
Given the prevalence of anxiety, it's quite possible that symptoms of anxiety will arise not just during the dating phase but even in the relationship phase, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s simply an effect of being human. Although it's normal to feel anxious, it's important to remember that leaving anxiety untreated can have detrimental side effects that impact our daily lives.
Relationship Anxiety: Signs And How To Overcome It
Anxiety is a common issue many people face, which can significantly impact romantic relationships. Here are several ways that anxiety can show up in romantic relationships and what you can do about them:
Relationship Anxiety Signs #1: Overthinking
The anxious brain can feel difficult to manage. People with anxiety tend to overthink situations, causing them to become anxious and worried about things that may not be a big deal. This can lead to arguments and misunderstandings in a relationship, as the anxious partner may worry about things that the other partner does not find concerning. Challenging irrational thoughts and having conversations about those that feel rational is important. Often, the quick fix to feeling anxious in a relationship is communication.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #2: Need for Reassurance
Individuals with anxiety may need constant reassurance from their partner, which can be draining for the other partner. It is important for the anxious partner to work on building their own self-confidence and trust in their partner.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #3: Fear of Abandonment
Anxious attachment, much? People with anxiety may have a fear of abandonment, causing them to become clingy or too dependent on their partner. This can be difficult for the other partner, who may feel smothered or unable to have their own space. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their fear of abandonment and trust in their partner's commitment to the relationship.
Going to therapy is often the first step to healing your abandonment wound because it’s much deeper than your partner’s actions, and if you don’t get to the root of the problem, you will continue to watch the problem grow.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #4: Avoidance
Individuals with anxiety may avoid situations or conversations that make them feel anxious or uncomfortable, leading to a lack of communication and intimacy in the relationship. If you want to build a safe and secure relationship, you have to be an active participant in your relationship. Do things like couple experiences or card games to enhance emotional intimacy and build a safe relationship you don’t want to run away from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #5: Control
Anxiety can lead to a need for control, manifesting in a relationship as controlling behavior. This behavior can come from jealousy and other issues, and it can become destructive and damaging to both partners. It is important for the anxious partner to manage their anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember, being in a relationship does not mean you own your partner. Control is a personal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
Trying to rob them of their autonomy will cause friction and lead to relationship dissatisfaction based on your inability to be a secure partner. Get the help you need by working through your fear of letting go and discerning where your controlling behavior stems from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #6: Perfectionism
People with anxiety may have a tendency towards perfectionism, leading to unrealistic expectations and pressure in the relationship. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their anxiety and develop a more realistic and compassionate view of themselves and their partner.
Anxiety can have a significant impact on romantic relationships. It is important for both partners to work together to manage anxiety, develop healthy coping mechanisms, communicate effectively, and trust each other. However, it is also important to do the inner work, as anxiety can be an internal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
If you want to build a healthy relationship, you must contribute to it by engaging in healthy behaviors.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on July 14, 2023
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Your November 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Transformation & Divine Timing
November is the month of trusting your progress and efforts, and not overthinking what needs more time. As we move towards the end of the year, we have some significant retrogrades, but we also have substantial opportunities for growth and abundance. The Sun is in Scorpio, and Scorpio Season provides a certain amount of depth needed to transform and see the beauty in a rebirth.
November is about honoring divine timing and discovering your power through authenticity.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes: An Overview
The passion is high this month, as we have Mars moving into Sagittarius on November 4 and remaining there until December 15. Mars in Sagittarius is adventurous, forthcoming, and empowered. This is the perfect energy we need to get through the month's retrogrades, as Mars will guide us towards what is the highest good. The following day, we have a Supermoon in Taurus, and love comes full circle. A Supermoon in Taurus is all about gaining clarity within financial matters and relationship developments. This Supermoon brings an awareness of what you need to feel more secure, grounded, and safe in the present moment.
Venus, the planet of love, enters Scorpio on November 6 until the end of the month, and Venus in Scorpio is powerful. This brings an intensity to love, but it is also a good time for intimacy, commitment, and getting some more alone time with a partner. Uranus Retrograde moves into Taurus on November 7 and will be Retrograde here until February 3, 2026. Uranus, during this time, will provide more revelations into matters you have been looking to stabilize and find your ground in since 2018. This transit gives a final opportunity to regenerate new ideas, efforts, and intentions.
The final Mercury retrograde of the year occurs this month, and it begins in Sagittarius on November 9, moves into Scorpio on November 18, and goes direct on November 29.
While in Sagittarius, Mercury retrograde asks to be more patient with travel plans, new adventures, and communicating before you have all of the facts. While in Scorpio, Mercury retrograde will highlight what transformations are needed within relationship dynamics, and what path forward will help you gain your empowerment and inner clarity here. Jupiter also goes retrograde this month and will be retrograde in Cancer until March 10, 2026. Jupiter retrograde in Cancer brings emotions to the surface, and everything can seem a little more overwhelming than it actually is in this energy.
Overall, this transit occurs to guide you through new emotional regulation tools and show you what dreams can come true when you take some time to reflect.
The New Moon of the month occurs on November 20 in Scorpio, and this is a New Moon of manifestation. This New Moon provides the new beginning you have been looking for, and something is inspiring about what presents itself during this time. The following day, the Sun moves into Sagittarius, and Sagittarius Season officially begins. Sag Season is the upliftment we need after a month of closure, clarity, and transformation, and there is a lot to look forward to as we end the month. On November 27, Saturn goes direct in Pisces after being retrograde since July, and with this powerful force now direct, what you have been building and rebuilding through the heart since 2023 comes to fruition in a more grounded and long-term way.
Overall, November is a big game-changer, and what is being brought to the surface is changing things for time to come.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what November 2025 has in store for you.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about finding your balance, Aries. A lot of things are in motion for you right now, but you may not be seeing eye to eye with some of the people around you in the midst of it all. Your guidance for the month is to choose your battles wisely and to think more about what will benefit you long-term. Mars enters your 9th house of adventure this month, and you are feeling fierce, inspired, and ready.
The Mercury retrograde of the month inspires you to open your mind to what else is possible for you in life, and gives you the clarity needed to make the necessary changes to be in the place you want to be. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your 8th house of rebirth, signifying the deep changes you are moving through this month.
As November closes out, remember to set your intentions for where you want to feel the passion, commitment, and depth in your world, and what ideas or perceptions you may need to let go of to see your own truth a little clearer.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about taking more time for yourself, Taurus. You are in a contemplative mood this month and are seeking more alone time for healing, clarity, and emotional rejuvenation. This month, we have a Supermoon in Taurus on November 5, and this Supermoon is bringing your goals, intentions, and path ahead to the surface. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your soul and to pay attention to your inner guidance system and the signs you are receiving in your life right now.
Venus moves into your 7th house of love this month, and love is here for you to thrive and grow in.
Relationship matters feel more promising in this energy, and you are a magnet for love, reciprocity, and romance. Uranus retrograde also moves back into your sign on November 7 for its final transit through Taurus. Until February of next year, you will be reevaluating plans and intentions, and learning more about yourself and what you need to feel both inspired and grounded in life.
With a lot of energy in your 1st house of self and 7th house of love, November is all about finding the balance between what you need and what your relationships are asking of you.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of growth, Gemini. You enter the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Mars in your relationship zone, and you are motivated to connect, move forward, and own what you need in love. This is a beautiful month of being met with the love you are giving out, and feeling like you are supported in life. Your wisdom is growing, your inner clarity is shining, and there is something beautiful about the space you find yourself in this month.
Uranus retrograde enters your house of closure on November 7, moving out of your sign and giving you a chance at healing. This is your opportunity to close the door to a chapter in your life that felt more restrictive than freeing, and to develop the insight needed to move on from negative energy for good. Your ruling planet, Mercury, also goes retrograde this month, and will be guiding your heart towards what people, relationships, and experiences light up your life and make you feel loved and seen.
Overall, November is a big month for owning the wisdom you have found in life and in love.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about trusting your instincts and listening to the guidance of your soul, Cancer. You are naturally a very intuitive being, and November is requiring you to use this strength for your benefit. As you enter the month, there is a Supermoon in your 11th house of friendship, community, and dreams, and manifestations appear that you have been looking forward to.
The patience you’ve had in your life shows fruition for you now, and you are recognizing that you’ve had the right idea all along.
Jupiter, the planet of good luck and expansion, entered your sign earlier this year and goes retrograde this month from November 11 until March 2026. What this means for you and your life is that you will be discovering spiritual guidance in new, unexpected places. You may feel like life moves a little more slowly under this energy, but this is needed in order for you to truly understand where an expansion and new perspective are needed in your world.
Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in a fellow water sign, and your heart gets a chance at a new beginning.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of progress, Leo. You are thinking a lot about the future right now and what’s ahead of you, and are making the necessary plans to bring your dreams to fruition. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, goals, and reputation as you begin the month, you are really showing up and allowing yourself to be met with success. You are inspired by what is possible for you in life in November and are making the efforts necessary to meet your goals halfway.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in Cancer, and what this means for you is a need to take a step back and focus on your healing. When Jupiter entered Cancer earlier this year, you saw a lot of the gifts that have come from closure and emotional renewal, and with this planet now retrograde, you are getting more into the nitty-gritty of healing and what tough decisions you may need to make to do so.
On November 20, we have a New Moon in your 4th house of family and foundations, and you are getting the opportunity to rebuild, connect with loved ones, and feel more secure in the present moment.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about finding your balance between moving forward when you feel ready to and taking the necessary time to plan your next steps ahead, Virgo. With a Supermoon in a fellow earth sign to begin the month, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and you are feeling inspired by what is presenting itself. You are moving through November with confidence and conviction, and your eyes are opening to what spaces you want to be in and what people you want to meet along the way.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month, and it’s all about taking time within communication matters and new developments in the home.
Ask yourself what stability, safety, and clarity mean to you right now, and be prepared to let go and create the necessary space in your life to receive that. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this New Moon highlights your communication strengths and interests, and also brings some new people and experiences into your life.
Overall, although we have a lot of retrogrades this month, you are not letting them stop you and are overcoming and moving forward in November.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is your month of abundance, Libra. Venus, your ruling planet, is in your 2nd house of income, values, and self-worth, and you are owning who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you deserve in your life. This is a month of seeing your intentions come to fruition, and progress is made regarding your finances and the plans you have set for yourself here this year. This is your month of owning your efforts and intentions, and knowing you deserve the good that is presenting itself to you right now.
With a Supermoon taking place in your 8th house this month, which rules your shared finances, support is coming in for you, and you have a lot of opportunities to make new gains and to see the gifts of some of the relationships and commitments in your world. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in your 2nd house of income, and it’s the time to create new intentions for yourself here, and you can do so with some added strength and confidence by what has already come to fruition or you this month.
Positive changes are in store for you, and you have the Midas Touch in November.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio Season is here, and you are shining, Scorpio. November is a month of feeling balanced, loved, and abundant, and like you are in the perfect position to find gratitude and own what blessings are ahead of you. We have a Supermoon in your sister sign to begin the month, providing you with the insight needed to see the love in your life with more clarity, and to gain some closure within relationship dynamics that have felt confusing for you as of late.
Venus also enters your sign at the beginning of the month, even further amplifying the energy of love in your life and the sense that you are truly recognizing how loved you are.
Mercury retrograde enters your sign on November 18, and you may need to redirect more of your energy within. Use this opportunity to gain more guidance on yourself, your path, and your goals, and remember to give yourself a little more compassion during this time. Before the month closes out, we have a New Moon in Scorpio on November 20, and this is a powerful time for seeing your manifestations appear. A New Moon in Scorpio is enlightening, and you are owning your passions, your self-confidence in life, and what new doors are opening for you now.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about owning your power and not counting yourself out, Sagittarius. This month is about lifting your head and remembering who you are and what matters to you in life. Mars enters your sign as we begin the month, and this is powerful energy for direction, new beginnings, and inspiration, but you may also be feeling some combative energy in your life in the midst of it all.
With Mercury also going retrograde in your sign for a little over a week, be careful with getting ahead of yourself right now, and take your time with things by knowing that you are supported and your dreams are coming to fruition in due time.
Sagittarius Season officially begins on November 21, and you feel more of the strength in your life as you close out the month. With Venus also moving into Sagittarius on November 30, a lot of the self-doubts you were having at the beginning of the month are long behind you now, and you finally get to see more of the progress you have been making in your world.
Overall, this month is about balancing patience with conviction and knowing that what is meant for you will not pass you by.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are making strides this month, Capricorn. November is a month of victory, progress, and achievement, and you are owning what you have been building in your world. You begin the month with a Supermoon in your 11th house of hopes and dreams, and this is a beautiful time for seeing your intentions appear and things looking even better than you had expected them to. The universe really wants to show you how loved and cherished you are this month, and will be giving you plenty of signs to show that to you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your opposite sign mid-month until February of next year, and during this time, you will be able to revitalize some of your close partnerships and gain more clarity on what you need to feel more safe and inspired here. You may feel like some relationship dynamics are more up in the air than you are used to, but this is necessary for you to really see what and who you want to commit to long-term.
Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Saturn, goes direct in your 3rd house of communication after being retrograde since July, and you are taking a deep breath, getting the answers you have been looking for, and finding your peace this month.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a new beginning for you, Aquarius. You are setting new intentions and focusing a lot on your career and financial world this month. The month begins with a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, and you are seeing the fruition of some of the developments you have made in this area of your life over the past month. A lot of opportunities are coming to the surface for you, and you deserve to feel abundance, support, and clarity in the world.
This month is about owning who you are, your gifts, and what efforts you have made to live the life of your dreams.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in an area of your life that rules your daily routine and working environment, and you are making a lot of changes in your world. Your career and work-life get a revamp this month and for the rest of the year in general, and this is happening so that you can increase your earnings while also feeling better about what you are doing daily. As we end November, Saturn goes direct in your 2nd house of income and earnings after being retrograde since July, which is even further increasing the abundance in your world.
Overall, you are claiming your successes and doing what is necessary to feel good within.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleDreams come true and miracles are possible for you this month, Pisces. November is about opening your mind to everything you can experience in your world, and about being a magnet for your desires by being open to it all. Venus is in your house of inspiration, adventure, and travel this month, and you are meeting love in unexpected places. You are feeling more of the magic in your world in November overall and are being met with the beauty you create around you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your 5th house of romance mid-month, allowing you to gain more clarity in matters of the heart and to reveal what joy means to you and what and who you want around you to feel more stable happiness and less shake-ups in your world. Saturn goes direct in Pisces on November 27, before the month ends, and this is really a ground-breaking moment for you.
With Saturn now direct and in Pisces until February 2026, you are following your dreams, laying down new foundations in your life, and feeling like things are finally lining up for you.
November is about owning the magic you create in your world, Pisces.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole










