Friends to lovers, is there a trope in media that hits quite as satisfying? Well, there is also the bad boy gone good for the love of a woman trope that also piques my interest in romance and fiction. However, in this article, we’re leaning more towards my lover girl side who feels both seen and heard when watching the slow burn of a love story play out between two souls destined to be a thing.
When done right, it’s more Lois and Clark from the later seasons of Smallville, or who could ever forget the life, rhymes, and chemistry that sparked between Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs in Brown Sugar? When done wrong, that’s a whole ‘nother story.
And it’s why we are here today. Join me in recounting 5 friends-to-lovers storylines that didn’t quite work (for me) in some of our most coveted TV shows. As a brief disclaimer, I understand that art depicting life is just that, art depicting life. In life, you have relationships and sometimes they will not work out. This list is for fun and in no particular order. Now, let’s get into it!
Friends-to-Lovers Fails in TV
1. Laura Winslow and Steve Urkel, Family Matters
Maybe I was blinded by what I felt was chemistry between Laura Winslow (Kellie Shanygne Williams) and Stefan Urquelle (Jaleel White), but I think when I first watched this, I saw it for this eventual couple. However, rewatching it years later and seeing all the ways Steve Urkel (also Jaleel White) pined after Laura to the point of stalking and desperation for most of the series’ nine-season run, and the way Laura didn’t return his affection in a significant way until the last season of Family Matters, the characters finally getting together ended up feeling anticlimactic.
Although it was framed as growth for both characters, their eventual romance ultimately felt like Steve just wore Laura down (nearly a decade of his persistence, mind you).
As one of the main romances explored in the iconic show, when it boiled down to actual moments of budding love between the characters, they left much to be seen. A lot of that could be attributed to the length and the perpetual drawing out of the question of "will they, won't they?" As a viewer, you knew they would get together by watching nine seasons of buildup. However, as a viewer, it also got a little old, and with each passing episode, reasons they shouldn't be together stacked up more than reasons that they should be. At least, for me.
Between Steve spending most of the series obsessed with Laura and Laura’s consistent indifference, dismissiveness, and lack of attraction towards Steve without a change in physical appearance, I was left wondering why we ever saw it for these two in the 90s.
2. Hakeem Campbell and Moesha Mitchell, Moesha
Whew, I hated the Hakeem-Moesha storyline with a passion. The reason behind my why is partially selfish but I also like to think it is partially in the right. The selfish side wanted to see a healthy platonic relationship between opposite sexes on television and I felt like Moesha (Brandy) and Hakeem (Lamont Bentley, R.I.P.) represented that for much of Moesha’s series run. I even thought having an episode or two here and there that showcases one or both of them thinking about wanting more was realistic because sometimes when you’re just friends you have questions about why you have to stay just friends. So whispers of a crush popping up in these storylines didn’t bother me.
I loved that Hakeem and Moesha were best friends, had each other’s backs, and disagreed at times, but through maturity, they were able to grow. It was beautiful.
However, all of my good feelings about this pairing were completely thrown out of the window during the college arc of the last two seasons when they put the friends-to-lovers storyline in overdrive and the sweet daydreams of each other were replaced by a sour reality. Hakeem as a best friend was great, but Hakeem as Moesha’s boyfriend felt like such a departure from the character he showed himself to be throughout the four seasons prior.
Hakeem was one of those characters who got "the girl" but ultimately wasn't ready for her when he had her. What played out instead was a clear display of their sheer incompatibility.
He was insecure, he was jealous, he was borderline possessive, and then when he and Niecy (Shar Jackson) kissed, I was through. Don’t even get me started on the episodes where he tried to “win” her back after that. I legit wanted to throw the entire show away. These days, I pretend the college seasons don’t exist. I’m more at peace that way.
3. Thaddeus “T” Radcliffe & Stevie Van Lowe, The Parkers
Continuing on the Moesha train, we are making a quick stop at their spin-off, The Parkers thanks to the noteworthy inclusion of a friends-to-lovers storyline between “T” (Ken Lawson) and Stevie (Jenna von Oy). On a personal and somewhat unrelated note, I loved the trio of Kim (Countess Vaughn), T, and Stevie on The Parkers. Something I especially admired about their friend group and the friend group of Moesha, Niecy, and Hakeem was that it never felt like T and Hakeem had to present differently to fit with the women they were friends with in their respective groups. An example of this is the guys weren’t “one of the girls” in their conversations just because they were best friends with two women, they were themselves. I liked that. And again, I loved that it was strictly platonic.
That all changed in season 4 when T and Stevie had a romance arc and briefly dated. What I will give them credit for is that they didn’t draw it out for a long time (ahem, Moesha) and it also didn’t impact the plot (aside from some jokes scattered here and there). It was quick and mostly painless. Still, when the couple unraveled, I didn’t like how similar it felt to some of the issues I took with the Moesha-Hakeem storyline in the end, i.e. T’s jealousy. Speaking of which, Hakeem’s season 4 guest appearance on The Parkers as Stevie’s former flame is what ultimately ended this short-lived friends-to-lovers storyline entry.
4. Joan Clayton and William Dent, Girlfriends
'Girlfriends'
On my first watch of this Girlfriends arc, I loathed this storyline. It felt abrupt, unnatural, and dare I say, desperate. I didn’t get them and couldn’t understand why the Girlfriends writers were taking Joan Clayton (Tracee Ellis Ross) and William Dent (Reggie Hayes) in this direction. But giving the series a rewatch in my adult years forced me to look past the numerous ways I thought their romantic storyline was implausible and unrealistic when I was younger. Now, I saw it for what it was.
They were best friends, they got each other in ways that others in their lives sometimes didn’t, they saw each other (I beam at every holiday episode where Joan’s girlfriends are complaining about everything Joan has them do but William gleefully falls in line because it’s their shared joy). Aside from the very apparent lack of physical and sexual intimacy between them, I understood them as a couple more. But, I’ve come to realize I still don’t like them together.
Not only was it a plot that felt like they touched on in a different way through William and another character on the show Lynn getting together for a fling (as well as a kinda-sorta one-night stand with Joan that wasn’t completed because Joan was, and I quote, "an ooch-ouch girl"), but the way they built up the relationship as something meaningful just to throw it away because of a few comments by Toni, Maya, and Lynn (who were making some good points, but still), it just felt like, what was the reason?
Admittedly, as a change of pace, it was interesting to see that their trying to be a couple romantically did impact their friendship. I’ve always admired that Joan tends to take the high road in her breakups and seems to be on good terms with most of her exes, but it seemed like she wasn’t able to effortlessly revert to being “best friend Joan” to “best friend William” which was interesting because their split was more amicable compared to other boyfriends she had had in the series.
However, that juxtaposition was also something I took issue with because I enjoyed their chemistry as friends far more than lovers and it felt like a long road getting back to the dynamic I once loved them for.
5. Freddie and Ron, A Different World
By now, it may or may not be obvious that I am not a big fan of diminishing yourself to get the person you’re trying to be with. In my entry about Laura and Steve, that was one of the things I didn’t appreciate about Laura’s nature to soften for Steve mostly as Stefan or when he is a more subdued version of the guy he is repulsed by. A Different World didn’t seem to be relaying that message with this pairing, but I just didn’t appreciate the way it felt like Ron only saw Freddie (Cree Summer) after she brushed her signature curls into a tight bun and exchanged her boho chic for corporate chic.
Though Freddie’s change in appearance was meant to be viewed as a personal evolution several seasons into the series and post-grad, there was something about the fact that she had always been there, and for some reason, Ron never looked twice at her until that dramatic physical change. What hurt their cases even more for me was the fact that both of them were cheating on their respective partners at the time with each other. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it.
Funnily enough, Freddie’s boyfriend Shazza Zulu (Gary Dourdan) was meant to be a parallel to Ron, showing that whereas Ron was accepting the new Freddie, Shazza wanted Freddie to be the “old Freddie.” I didn’t like either approach truth be told, but the fact that they were sneaking around behind their partners’ backs solidified the fact that the storyline just wasn’t it for me and that’s okay.
It’s just another season of a show I love that I don’t need to revisit. Again, I am at peace.
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Here's a roundup of holiday hair and glam ideas tailored for Black women, focusing on elegance, versatility, and creativity. Each style embraces natural textures, protective styling, and statement-making glam.
Holiday Hairstyle Ideas:
- Natural Hair: Embrace your natural curls, coils, and kinks with festive updos, twist-outs, braid-outs, or wash-and-go styles adorned with jeweled hair accessories, metallic headbands, or shimmering hair tinsel.
- Protective Styles: Opt for stylish and low-maintenance options like box braids, cornrows, Senegalese twists, faux locs, or crochet braids, incorporating festive elements like colored hair extensions, metallic cuffs, or decorative beads.
- Wigs & Weaves: Experiment with versatile and glamorous wigs and weaves in various textures, lengths, and colors, adding holiday flair with curls, waves, sleek styles, or statement-making hair accessories.
Holiday Glam Makeup Tips:
- Bold Lips: Make a statement with vibrant red, berry, or metallic lipstick shades that complement your skin tone and outfit.a
- Shimmering Eyes: Enhance your eyes with shimmering eyeshadows, metallic eyeliner, or glitter accents for a festive glow.
- Flawless Skin: Achieve a radiant complexion with a flawless foundation, subtle contouring, and a touch of highlighter.
- Statement Lashes: Accentuate your eyes with dramatic false lashes or a generous coat of mascara for added allure.
These suggestions are a starting point for your holiday hair and beauty journey. Feel free to personalize each look, experiment with different techniques, and express your unique style. The most important thing is to have fun and celebrate the magic that is you!
1. Stacked Bantu Knots
Raimonda Kulikauskiene/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bantu knots with loose, defined curls framing the face.
- Add gold or metallic hair cuffs for festive flair.
Glam:
- Glittery gold or copper eyeshadow.
- Bold red lip for a classic holiday vibe.
2. Sleek and Sophisticated
Ryan Destiny
Getty Images
Hair:
- Straight middle part or side part with layered waves and a high-gloss finish.
- Optional: Add crystal hair pins for extra sparkle.
Glam:
- Cat-eye liner paired with nude glossy lips.
- Soft bronzed cheeks for a warm glow.
3. Holiday Halo
Ciara
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
Hair:
- A textured halo braid with faux locs or braiding hair for volume.
- Decorate with small ornaments or pearls for a whimsical touch.
Glam:
- Smokey eye with silver shimmer accents.
- Dark berry lipstick for a bold statement.
4. Textured Top Knot
Ari Lennox
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
Hair:
- High knot with natural texture or extensions for volume.
- Wrap the base with a velvet ribbon or festive scarf.
Glam:
- Metallic lids in emerald or sapphire shades.
- Subtle highlighter on cheekbones and nose.
5. Hollywood Waves
Jodie Turner-Smith
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
Hair:
- Classic finger waves or soft, voluminous curls for a vintage look.
- Use clip-ins or bundles for added length and fullness.
Glam:
- Winged eyeliner with lashes for drama.
- Crimson lipstick for timeless elegance.
6. Braided Beauty
Rihanna
Samir Hussein/WireImage
Hair:
- Fulani-inspired braids with gold beads or strings.
- Finish with a low bun or leave braids flowing.
Glam:
- Shimmery eyeshadow in gold or bronze.
- Glossy lips with a hint of sparkle.
7. Afro Chic
AJ Odudu
JB Lacroix/WireImage
Hair:
- Fluffed-out afro with metallic accessories.
- Secure with a decorative headband.
Glam:
- Dewy skin with a subtle blush.
- A soft pink lip for contrast.
8. Retro Glam Ponytail
Tia Mowry
Anna Webber/Getty Images
Hair:
- Sleek, high ponytail with flipped ends or added curls.
- Wrap the ponytail base with rhinestones or silk.
Glam:
- Bold eyeliner with graphic shapes.
- Matte lips in a deep plum shade.
9. Goddess Locs
Meagan Good
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Hair:
- Bohemian-inspired locs with curly ends.
- Add holiday sparkle with silver or gold accents.
Glam:
- Bronzed eye makeup with a glossy finish.
- Warm nude lipstick with overlined edges.
Hair:
- Stranded twists styled into an intricate updo or bun.
- Secure with jeweled pins or barrettes.
Glam:
- Rose gold eyeshadow with natural lashes.
- Soft mauve lipstick for a delicate finish.
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Featured image by Getty Images