Ask & Ye Shall Receive! The One Prayer Nicole Ari Parker Used To Snag Boris Kodjoe
My best friend and I were having a conversation about prayer one day, and she said to me, "You have to be SPECIFIC with your prayers to God; don't leave anything out!" That really stuck with me, because prior to this, there had been so many times I've prayed or meditated over something, and while sometimes I received what I asked for, most of the time it wasn't quite what I thought I wanted.
I prayed for a new job, but that new job didn't end up fulfilling me. I've prayed for new opportunities, but when the opportunities came, I would often pass on them because, again, they weren't quite right. I even prayed for a new man, and girl, you can imagine how that went since I wasn't SPECIFIC.
The way the dating game is set up nowadays, some of us are out here really trying to figure out the secret weapon that will land us the man of our dreams. We see other couples flourishing and are left to wonder, how did they do it?
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe's relationship reflects the stuff that dreams are made of: beauty, brains, long-lasting passion, kids, and success. The acting duo married in 2005, and for 13 years we've been screaming "#Relationshipgoals." Outside of the obvious, many may have wondered what Nicole did to conjure up such a catch like Boris. So much so, Nicole even responded to one curious commenter in a recent post on Instagram detailing exactly what she did.
The comment read, "Can we get that prayer you said for Boris??!!??" And in response, the 48-year-old gave us all the instructions we need when praying and manifesting the man of our dreams:
"Me: Dear Lord, What should I do?
GOD: Make a list.
Me: A list?
GOD: Yes. Write down EVERYTHING you want. Even the parts you don't want me to see. 😒
Me: okay.
💛
GOD: The spiritual stuff, the heart & mental stuff, the physical and the financial.
💛
Me: 😲umm okay: Loving, warm, WANTS to be a husband & father, Fine 😜, WANTS to provide, mentally, physically and spiritually strong, AFFECTIONATE, curious about the world, likes to travel, likes music, likes history, likes art, likes the theatre, big hands, big feet🤔, sexy, really smart, funny, fun, got jokes, makes the highest & best choices for himself, has that "no-matter-what-I-got-this" spirit cause ish is gonna happen, respects his mother, forgives his father, loves himself and knows God. 💛
GOD: Okay now REALLY take that in. SEE him, FEEL him in your mind. SIT WITH THAT...ENJOY THAT..Now ask yourself.. Is he perfect for you?
Me: (inhales and exhales deeply) Yes..Lawd..I mean Lord. YES.
GOD: Now ask yourself... if he enters the room RIGHT now..Are you perfect for him?
Me: (takes reallyyy long pause).....Proceeds to get mind right & affairs in order, rereads Their Eyes Were Watching God, goes to therapy, examines issues, forgives herself & others, calls parents more often, renews passport, goes to church, does a sit up and goes for a run, dusts off that business idea i had🤔, remembers to laugh, buys nice lotion and rubs it all over body EVERYDAY, then buys some more, stays grateful for all her parts, cherishes friends, dances in her room, balances checkbook, makes green juice, loves herself. (Sidebar: At that point...after all that..i was good either way..happy, confident and moisturized.)
💛 and THEN
here he comes... 💛
GOD: Boop."
Let's break this down:
Write a list
According to Nicole, the first thing God asked her to do was to sit down and write a list--a detailed list describing all of the attributes she was looking for and desired in a man, even the things she might not feel comfortable divulging to others, including the Lord himself. This list included the mental, spiritual, physical, and financial "stuff" that she desired as well as the type of love she wanted to receive.
This list will be different for everyone, but the key is in the details. Are you looking for a provider? Write it down. Do you need all of your love languages fulfilled on a daily basis? Write that down, too. Despite the fact that there has been debate on whether or not having a list of qualities we want in a man is productive or not, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards.
Visualize it
The power of manifestation is real. The best athletes use this method to improve their game. The most successful business consists of people coming up with business plans and vision boards in order to have a visual representation of the future goals. So why wouldn't this work when it comes to manifesting the right man?
Nicole says that God said to her, "SEE him, FEEL him in your mind. SIT WITH THAT...ENJOY THAT." Sometimes we can be so focused on what we don't have, that we forget to focus on what we want. And if you've read anything about manifestation or the law of attraction, you know that if we are focusing on the the things we DON'T want, we just end up bringing more of that into our lives. It's science, people. Picture that man in your mind, feel what it would be like to have him in your life, and then move on to the next step.
Believe it
Many of us are familiar with the Bible verse, "Ask and ye shall receive." But if you actually look up the verse, there's more to it than simply asking. What it really means is that, yes, you have to ask, but you also have to have faith and BELIEVE. You have to believe that you are deserving of that ask. You have to have faith that it is yours, even without it appearing immediately in front of you. That is the very essence of faith. For Nicole, she says God asked her, "Now ask yourself.. Is he perfect for you?" We have to be willing to understand that the perfect man for us is really out there, and have faith that he will be presented to us when the time is right (trust me I know, THAT is the hard part).
Work on you
So you've got your list, you can feel this man in your soul, and you know he's on his way. Now what?
Well, if you've read any type of dating advice, then you've heard it time and time again: work on yourself while you wait. Nicole says that God was straight up with her when He said, "Now ask yourself... if he enters the room RIGHT now..Are you perfect for him?"
To be "equally yoked" means that we have to be willing to be more like the person we would want to come into our lives.
Nicole did all of the things she had been putting off, and tied up those loose ends we all have. She made more time for the people and things she loved, and with that, began to love herself more and more deeply. In the end, this is the key advice that many of us have a hard time following through with. I know, we all have schedules and drama to deal with, but when we take the time for self-care and self-reflection, the only thing left to do is grow more in love with ourselves. And like Nicole, you may even find yourself "good either way...happy, confident and moisturized." Issa win-win.
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"And then he comes."
Boop, said God. Won't he do it!
I'm ready to try this, ladies. What about you? Have you prayed about your dream guy? Do you have a similar experience? Let us know in the comments!
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Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy