I'm not someone who has many addictions (other than the ones in my writer's bio). But if there is something that I definitely know used to get out of hand for me was my fixation with thrift stores. The clothes (and other items) are cheap. The findings are oftentimes one of a kind. And, since everything in the store is used, thrifting is great for the environment.
That's great 'n all, but the (other) problem that I used to have was that I didn't know how to make the most out of my thrift store shopping experience. Although I've always had a pretty good eye, I didn't realize that I could save a lot of time and even more money if I applied a few tricks.
Know better, do better. Through a little trial and error, I now know how to thrift store shop with the best of 'em. I promise that if you apply even half of these tips, you'll enjoy thrifting so much more than you probably already do!
Download the Thrifty Pickers AppGiphy
I have my favorite thrift stores (most real thrift store shoppers do), but as Music City continues to grow, it's hard to keep up with all of the ones that are popping up. One way to find thrift stores that are in your own city is to download the Thrifty Pickers app. It's currently got 12,000-and-counting national listings.
Also, a site that provides a decent amount of thrift store listings is Thrift Shopper. Oh, and if you'd prefer the convenience of buying (and selling) locally online, Offer Up is a cool app. Mercari is too.
Be Willing to Drive Kinda Far
A thrift store hack that a lot of people sleep on is this: Don't assume that going to a store in the middle of a major city means that you're going to get the best selections. The truth of the matter is if you're intentional about going to smaller towns, you'll probably end up with the best stuff.
The reason is because they typically don't get enough merchandise from their community to stay afloat, so bigger cities will ship some of their extra stuff in. Because of this, it's not uncommon to find designer items or things with the tags still on them.
Dress for the OccasionGiphy
Something that thrift stores don't have an abundance of is dressing rooms. Plus, most people will break the rules and take at least 10 items of clothing in one to try on which could take for-e-ver. One way to work around this is to go thrifting with a tank top and a pair of leggings. That way, everything will be "snug enough" for you to try things on, on top of your clothes, whether you're able to get a dressing room or not.
Ask Management What Day They Restock Items
There used to be a time when I went thrifting so much (two times a week, easily) that I would get frustrated because I wouldn't really see anything new. If you can feel my pain, the way to not waste a trip to your own store is to ask management to tell you the day they restock new stuff. Most stores do it at least once (if not twice) a week.
Get Kids’ Clothes. Don’t Get Swimsuits.
I don't have children of my own, but I do have two goddaughters and tons of love nieces and nephews. There are a couple of websites where I like to get them things but, since kids grow so fast, I also like to get items at thrift stores too. The clothes are cute and really affordable.
As you're perusing the aisles, here's a word of caution. Please avoid stuffed animals and car seats. If you've ever seen how a little one acts with their favorite stuffed animal, you can just imagine why that's a no-no. As far as car seats go, since the manufacturer is supposed to upgrade them every couple of years, chances are, the ones that are on thrift store shelves are already outdated which makes them a total waste of money.
As far as what you should absolutely avoid buying at thrift stores? Underwear and swimsuits. I won't lie, you'll probably see some cute bras and bikinis there, but since you have absolutely no idea who wore them before you (or what their hygiene was like)…well.
Avoid the Weekends
This one might be a no-brainer but it's still worth reiterating. The weekend is when everyone and their grandma is out in the streets, so if you go thrifting midday on Saturday, all of the good stuff will probably be picked over. Your best bet is to go on a Wednesday. It's quieter, less crowded and usually some restocking has happened by then.
Cop a Few Gift CardsGiphy
Every little bit of savings helps. That said, a website where you can buy (and sell) gift cards is Raise. If you use it to get a gift card to Goodwill, you'll automatically save an additional five percent.
Remember That Vintage Runs Small
I really like vintage clothing. Back when I was between size 5-6, copping some vintage threads was no big deal. Now that I'm a size 10, well. Let's just say that I own a lot less vintage items than I used to. That's because, unfortunately, vintage clothing tends to run small (because there weren't a lot of "us" being major fashion designers back in the day). So, if you see a pencil skirt or cashmere sweater from the 40s that doesn't fit, don't take it personally. It probably doesn't fit anyone over 100 pounds. SMH.
Tip: If you do happen to find a vintage piece you're able to rock, you can research the label by going here.
Even in this day and age, the reality is not all thrift stores take credit or even debit cards. Even if they do, there's a chance that they may require a minimum purchase before you use them. This is one reason why using cash is best. Another reason is because if you've got $50 in your wallet, that is basically your spending cap.
Cash is a good way to keep you on a budget. When rent time rolls back around, you'll be glad that you put yourself on one.
Become Buddies with the Employees
It's a good idea to be nice to employees anywhere you go, simply because you're a kind person. But I'd be lying to you if I said there aren't immediate perks that come right along with consistently engaging sales associates at thrift stores. At my absolute favorite store, I became cool with a few cashiers and it wasn't long before I was getting at least an additional 50 percent on things I purchased. Not every once in a while; every time.
Talk to Yourself
Remember how I said that I used to be a thrift store shopping addict? At one point, things had gotten so ridiculous that I had to tell myself that even if I could get 10 great dresses for $15 a pop, I don't need that many. Half would sit in my closet for months on end which ultimately means I still wasted money. That was crazy since the entire point of thrifting in the first place is to save money.
One way you can avoid having 30 sweaters hanging up in your closet is to ask yourself things like, "Do I really need this?", "Do I already have something similar to this?" and "What occasion would I actually wear this?" If once you ask these questions, all you can say to yourself is, "I dunno. I just like it", rethink if it really is a good idea to get it.
Hint: If you know there's a chance you won't wear it within the first three months of owning it, it's probably best to leave it right where it is.
Take a Friend Along
Whether you'd like to have some company on the way, you want someone to thumbs up or side-eye you while you pull from the racks on or you'd prefer to have an individual to be on the lookout while you're trying on clothes in a back aisle, thrift store shopping is so much more fun if you take a bestie along.
Fun, sales and flyness. It's what thrifting is all about. Why do it alone?
Featured image by Getty Images
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy