One of the things I've always loved about being a woman is the level of exploration that comes with our bodies and discovering what feels good. When it comes to coming, many of us have found and mastered clitoral orgasms, especially ones derived from self-pleasure. And while vaginal orgasms might feel more elusive to most women (studies show only 25 percent of women experience orgasms consistently during vaginal penetration), you might be surprised to learn that orgasms don't have to be either or, they can be blended too.
Vaginal and clitoral orgasms are among the most common orgasms, but sex experts suggest that there are actually 12. A blended orgasm is exactly what it sounds like -- an orgasm that is experienced from the stimulation of two or more types of orgasms. What makes these orgasms even more sought-after is how intense they feel.
According to sex therapist Dr. Donna, LICSW, M.ED, blended orgasms can be achieved by stimulating the parts of your body that are most prone to giving you an orgasm. "The most common way to get the blended orgasm is to stimulate the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time for a blended orgasm. BUT there are all types of orgasms, including anal, nipple and cervix. Some combo examples of blended orgasms include g-spot/clit; nipple/clit; nipple/g-spot; if you are into a good eargasm, then that can be added into the nipple, clit, g-spot, anus, etc. combos," Dr. Donna explained.
"Really, the possibilities are nearly endless."
My personal favorite? A one-two combo that consists of kissing (yes, you can orgasm through kissing alone) and clitoral stimulation, but I've also been able to achieve blended orgasm from a mix of g-spot/clit (especially in the spooning position, oh my God). My most recent experience with a blended orgasm involved me on my back with my legs open and his body positioned hovered above me with an adept knee placed at my wet heat.
The experience was new to me, but I used his outer thigh to rub my clit against while we kissed. And maybe it was our mutual high from the weed we smoked minutes before, but my senses were heightened and I was on fire. He drank my moans of ecstasy as I began to fall from the edge, crashing down with electric heat. The end result is galvanizing.
When you have an orgasm, you sometimes don't believe it can get any more intense than it already is, but it does. And it can.
What Is A Blended Orgasm & How To Have One
When You’re Solo Dolo...
The perfect segue into blended orgasm territory during your self-pleasure sessions is by using a toy that can stimulate the hit the g-spot and clit all at once. To do so, Dr. Donna recommends utilizing a rabbit, or a toy like it (I recommend this one -- thank me later). "Plus, it will leave a hand free to stimulate your nipples and breasts."
As with anything pertaining to sexual pleasure, a great baseline or foundation for having orgasms is discovering the hot spots you have through masturbation. I always say that it's difficult to teach a student lessons when you haven't learned the curriculum yet yourself, and that sentiment rings so true in the bedroom. "Know your own body so that you can teach your partner(s) how to get you there. Then experiment with the other types of stimulation and see what combos you can string together."
And once you know yourself and what gets you off like the back of your hand, you're ready for our next pointers.
When You’re Coupled Up...
Of course, adding a partner (or partners) will amplify the playing field, in addition to providing more methods to meet your blended peak. Dr. Donna suggests the use of toys here too - specifically toys that stimulate your clitoris while your partner puts in the work of bringing pleasure to your g-spot, anus, nipples, lips, or anywhere else that brings you to your climax.
As for optimal sex positions, Dr. Donna notes doggy style as a real crowd-pleaser for the blended orgasm prize. "I would say doggy style gives the best g-spot access while not interfering with toy use, or your partner can reach around and stimulate the clitoris. Reverse cowgirl is also a great position for stimulating multiple areas at once," she continued.
Equipped with these tips, you'll master the art of blended orgasms in no time at all. I know I did.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
How To Achieve A Simultaneous Orgasm
My First Orgasm Gave Me The Best Sex Of My Life
Self-Pleasure Changed How I Experience Sex
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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