
So, now that we’re already a few weeks into the new year (what is time…what is time, y’all?), tell me something: how are your resolutions going? If you’re already feeling a bit defeated because a few things have not gone as planned, go a little easy on yourself. Research continues to reveal that 80 percent of resolutions fail, in part because they are somewhat unrealistic to begin with.
Not so much when it comes to the goal; more like it’s rooted in the belief that something supernatural happens on January 1 when that couldn’t be further from the truth. In other words, today is just as good as any to resolve that you’re going to try something new, break a habit, or reach a particular goal.
Today is also a great time to resolve that you’re going to wake up each and every day and be proactive about taking care of your vaginal and vulvar health. Keeping all of this in mind, since resolution means “a formal expression of opinion or intention made,” how about you nix the “New Year’s” part and put “today,” every day, in front of the word instead? It’ll take the pressure off of you, and when it comes to this particular piece, your vagina (and vulva) will be oh-so grateful for the consistent follow-through of your intentions.
Starting with these 10 suggestions…
1. You Will Take a Probiotic

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Something that your vagina is full of is bacteria — some good and some not-so-good. When your vagina is healthy (for the most part, this means that when your pH balance is where it needs to be), you don’t even notice that there is a slight “war” going on to keep the bad bacteria from outweighing the good. However, when bad bacteria is more present, it can lead to infections like bacterial vaginosis.
A probiotic can help to serve you super well as far as preventing bad bacteria from getting out of line is concerned. That’s because it’s loaded with billions of good bacteria per serving. You can take it in the form of a supplement, kefir (which is basically yogurt 2.0), or other fermented foods, including pickles, cheese, kombucha, and the Japanese seasoning miso. I can always tell when I do take a probiotic and when I don’t, not just when it comes to my vaginal health but my gut health overall. Definitely a must-have when it comes to your overall health and well-being.
2. You Will Eat More Vitamin C-Enriched Foods

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Speaking of bacterial vaginosis, if a chronic case is something that you’re trying to conquer once and for all this year, get more vitamin C into your system. The reason why it’s so effective is it’s a type of nutrient that makes your vagina “too acidic” for bad bacteria to thrive in. And since vitamin C is also great at helping to stabilize your blood pressure, keeping chronic diseases at bay (in part by boosting your immune system), and helping your body to produce more collagen (which can help you to look younger, add hydration to your system and reduce joint discomfort) — you can never go wrong by consuming foods that are high in this particular nutrient. Some of them include citrus fruits, bell peppers, broccoli, kiwi, and kale.
3. You Will Consume Less Dairy and Sugar

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Sometimes ice cream really pisses me off. Not because it isn’t delicious; it’s because it contains two things that my vagina isn’t the biggest fan of: dairy and sugar. Dairy isn’t the best thing for vaginas because it contains properties that can actually prevent your mucosal lining from forming; when that happens, your vagina can become more vulnerable to infections. Plus, dairy can contain hormones in it that aren’t the best for your vaginal health either. And sugar? If you’re someone who has chronic yeast infections and you can’t seem to figure out why — if sugar is a consistent part of your diet, that’s more than likely a main culprit.
Sugar feeds off of yeast, and so, in order to fully heal from a yeast infection, your diet has to shift away from lots of sugar intake too. Plus, if you happen to be diabetic (or have high blood sugar quite a bit), that can restrict the blood flow to your genital region, which can result in a vaginal dryness. So…no ice cream? For now, let’s go with less of it.
4. You Will Purchase More Underwear

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Last year, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)." For me personally, sleeping naked is more than enough. If that is your testimony too, I do recommend that you know what kind of panties are best for your body (check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”) and that you “swap them out” on a fairly consistent basis (meaning every six months or so). The cleaner your panties are, the less you will have to worry about vaginal irritation — on any level.
5. You Will Keep Your Undies Out of the Washing Machine

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If you’re someone who seems to have an irritated vulva (and vaginal opening), no matter what you do, a hack that I’ve been shifting into that you may want to try is washing all of your panties by hand instead of relying on the washing machine. The method behind the madness is washing machines contain their fair share of bacteria and fecal matter (which is why you should run white vinegar through a hot water cycle once a month), which can stay on your clothes and get onto you. And since your vulva is super sensitive, you want to make sure to keep it as clean as possible. One way to do that is to wash your undies by hand. It will take a bit more time; however, since it’s gentler on your fabrics and better for your skin, it’s time well spent.
6. You Will Ramp Up Your Vitamin D Intake

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If you’re anything like me, when you were growing up, you probably learned that vitamin D was good for maintaining bone health. And while that certainly is true, it’s also a nutrient that helps to prevent heart disease, reduce depression-related symptoms, and it can even help you to lose weight.
As far as your vaginal health goes, it’s a winner in that department because vitamin D helps to reduce vaginal dryness, decrease vaginal discomfort that is oftentimes associated with menopause, and can help to prevent you from getting urinary tract infections (UTIs) as well. So, make sure to get plenty of sun and make sure that vitamin D is in your multivitamins, too.
7. You Will Clean Out Your Clitoral Hood

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If you ever want to read up on just how much your clitoris and a man’s penis has in common, check out Shape’s article, “The Surprising Anatomical Similarities Between Penises and Clitorises,” sometime. For the sake of time and space today, I’ll just say that I need all of the folks who think it’s cute to tease uncircumcised men to realize that their clitoral hood is also a type of foreskin — and just like men need to make sure to keep their foreskin clean, the same applies to our “hoods” too. In fact, back when I wrote the article, “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood,” something that low-key freaked me out was reading about a woman who got so much gunk (including pubic hair) caught up in her hood, that she ended up having to get some of her hood removed (chile).
The moral here? About once a week, put some olive oil on a Q-Tip, gently pull back your clitoral hood, and swab the inner parts of it. That will prevent your own hairs and dried-up discharge, lubrication, etc., from lodging up in there and irritating it.
8. You Will Get (At Least) One Vagina Facial

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Although some health experts frown on vaginal facials (“vajacials” as some call them), if you’re someone who gets waxed down below, look into an esthetician who’s been trained in how to give them. It’s a special kind of pampering treatment that will prevent and/or remove ingrown hairs, exfoliate your vulvar skin (especially your pubic mound), soften your pubic hair, reduce hyperpigmentation, and help to keep that part of your body well hydrated too. The main things to keep in mind with vajacials are a professional needs to do them, “less is more” as far as the chemicals that they use, and 2-4 times a year is more than likely all that you will need.
9. You Will Apply Fennel Oil to Your Labia

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If you’ve got digestive issues, something that you might want to consider adding to your diet is fennel oil. The reason why I say that is it contains properties that are great at treating constipation, bloating, and gas. However, the reason why it made the “vagina resolutions list” is because it is packed with the kind of antioxidants and antimicrobial benefits that can help to soothe your labia if there is any type of minor irritation going on (like what you might experience on the day before or right after your cycle).
Plus, fennel is classified as being a phytoestrogen food; this means that it is a form of plant-based estrogen, which can do wonders for a woman who may be low in estrogen due to things like menopause. My two cents would be to mix 2-3 drops to a tablespoon of a vagina-sensitive carrier oil like carrot seed, hemp, or grapeseed and then apply it directly to your vulva (the outer layers of your vagina) or your abdomen — or both. Soothing-wise, you should notice almost immediate results.
10. You Will Use Condoms (More) Consistently

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I’m hoping that everyone knows at this point that when condoms are used correctly, they help to prevent pregnancy and STIs/STDs. However, if you’re someone who is sleeping with more than one person at a time or you’ve been abstinent for a while and are about to sleep with someone new, you also should use condoms for another reason — to prevent different or new semen/sperm from irritating your vagina. Although it’s not as common for women to have a semen allergy, what the change in fluid can do is alter your pH, and that can lead to an itchy or swollen vagina and vulva.
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See…these things aren’t hard to implement. Just make sure to remain consistent. If you resolve to follow through, your vagina (and vulva) will be in great shape — this year and every year that follows. Take care.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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It’s probably been over the past 2-3 years that I’ve become hyper-focused when it comes to applying certain chemical exfoliants known as acids to my skin. Personally, I’ve come to really appreciate ones like mandelic acid and hyaluronic acid because they have a way of softening my skin, brightening it up and really evening out my complexion overall.
In fact, on my skin, they have been so effective that they have caused me to wonder what would happen if I applied some of them to my hair too — and boy, was it an experiment that paid off big time!
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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