Tika Sumpter Talks IVF, Raising A Biracial Daughter & Life Lessons As A Mom
It's a bit surreal to think that some of our favorite celebrities, who we've grown up admiring, are now parents with families of their own. It's a stark reminder that time passes for everyone, even those we often perceive as larger than life. We're all aging, evolving, and entering new phases of life.
But more than just a reminder of our own mortality, it's incredibly inspiring to witness these Black women navigate motherhood and create new lives. They're redefining what it means to be a parent, challenging societal norms, and setting powerful examples for future generations.
Their approach to parenting often reflects a deep commitment to their cultural heritage, a celebration of Black identity, and a fierce dedication to raising empowered and socially conscious children. It's a beautiful sight to behold and a source of immense hope for the future.
I find myself looking to these women as role models, not just in terms of their professional achievements, but also in their roles as mothers. They inspire me to think about the kind of parent I want to be, the values I want to instill in my own children, and the legacy I want to leave behind.
Take Tika Sumpter. She’s been a part of our lives for quite some time, and now she’s serving up hot mom vibes. Her mother went from a stay-at-home role to becoming a corrections officer at Rikers Island. Faced with a challenging situation, she rose to the occasion and persevered. Now, Tika is charting her own path as a mom.
In a recent interview with PARENTS, she said, “I thought I would be a tough parent because of my mom but I’m not. I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower.”
ForPARENTS’ "Take Five" series, editor-in-chief Grace Bastidas interviews notable names about parenthood and this iteration highlights Tika’s parenting style, insights into her relationship with her 8-year-old daughter, Ella, highlighting the importance of emotional learning, balancing work and motherhood, and navigating conversations about race and identity.
The Nobody’s Fool star also talks about homeschooling, her children’s podcast, and self-care practices, while reflecting on lessons learned from her own mother.
Tika’s IVF Journey:
“I did want a second child and tried IVF once. I know they say you should do it multiple times, but I didn’t have the energy for it. While having another baby didn’t work out for me, I pray that it works out for other people. The threads of motherhood are so interconnected that we sometimes forget that everybody is just trying to figure it out and live their best lives. I am you and you are me.”
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fertility treatments, including assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedures such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), allow those who experience infertility a potential path to expand their families. IVF represents more than 99% of ART procedures performed and is an important fertility treatment option because it can help individuals conceive who may not be able to use other fertility treatment methods.
On Raising Her Biracial Daughter
Tika and her husband, Nicholas James, have always been intentional about discussing race with their daughter. One of their ventures as new parents included creating a children's podcast Adventures of Curiosity Cove to help garner Ella's curiosity and fill her up with important information about her culture and the world.
Tika shared with PARENTS, “She knows we have different skin tones and that she’s mixed race. I don’t think it’s fair to put any of my stuff on her since our experiences will vary. Right now, we’re homeschooling her. We’ll talk about Martin Luther King, the Civil Rights era, and the March on Washington. She loves history and has so many questions.”
The mommy mogul went on to say, “She was in a private school before, but the bullying pushed me over the edge. I also felt like she was getting lost. She didn’t understand certain concepts. My husband and I follow a whole curriculum, and she also goes to a co-op. She’s already light years ahead. For me, it’s about giving her more catered time and flexibility.”
Lessons From Her Mom
Seeing her mom work so hard made Tika want to be a better daughter. “I’m the middle child out of seven kids, two of whom were adopted, the actress said. She continued, “I remember always wanting to keep the house clean for her because she came home exhausted. I was like, 'What can I do to make this better?' I used to work at a movie theater as a teen when my mom was retiring, and I’d have her come to the movies and stay all day. I would give her popcorn and candy. I was so happy that she got relief watching movies for free. It was a little escape.”
Tika’s mom tried her best to keep her kids in line, which led Tika to believe she would inherit the same “tough parent” genes, but she declares she has not. “I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower,” Tika said.
What She’s Learned From Her Daughter
When Tika Sumpter gets a little hyper, her daughter will put her hand on her heart and say, “Mom, breathe.” She’ll do it in such a soulful way — she’s the only woman who can tell Sumpter to relax in a way that is not condescending. Tika shared, “I tell her all the time that she’s so much better than me. The other day, she said, “You’re a really good mom.” Sometimes I feel like I’m such a failure because I’m always working. But she just started rattling off all the things that I am to her, and my eyes started watering. I thought, I’m doing a good job. It validated all the things that I poured into her.”
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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