Tika Sumpter Talks IVF, Raising A Biracial Daughter & Life Lessons As A Mom
It's a bit surreal to think that some of our favorite celebrities, who we've grown up admiring, are now parents with families of their own. It's a stark reminder that time passes for everyone, even those we often perceive as larger than life. We're all aging, evolving, and entering new phases of life.
But more than just a reminder of our own mortality, it's incredibly inspiring to witness these Black women navigate motherhood and create new lives. They're redefining what it means to be a parent, challenging societal norms, and setting powerful examples for future generations.
Their approach to parenting often reflects a deep commitment to their cultural heritage, a celebration of Black identity, and a fierce dedication to raising empowered and socially conscious children. It's a beautiful sight to behold and a source of immense hope for the future.
I find myself looking to these women as role models, not just in terms of their professional achievements, but also in their roles as mothers. They inspire me to think about the kind of parent I want to be, the values I want to instill in my own children, and the legacy I want to leave behind.
Take Tika Sumpter. She’s been a part of our lives for quite some time, and now she’s serving up hot mom vibes. Her mother went from a stay-at-home role to becoming a corrections officer at Rikers Island. Faced with a challenging situation, she rose to the occasion and persevered. Now, Tika is charting her own path as a mom.
In a recent interview with PARENTS, she said, “I thought I would be a tough parent because of my mom but I’m not. I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower.”
ForPARENTS’ "Take Five" series, editor-in-chief Grace Bastidas interviews notable names about parenthood and this iteration highlights Tika’s parenting style, insights into her relationship with her 8-year-old daughter, Ella, highlighting the importance of emotional learning, balancing work and motherhood, and navigating conversations about race and identity.
The Nobody’s Fool star also talks about homeschooling, her children’s podcast, and self-care practices, while reflecting on lessons learned from her own mother.
Tika’s IVF Journey:
“I did want a second child and tried IVF once. I know they say you should do it multiple times, but I didn’t have the energy for it. While having another baby didn’t work out for me, I pray that it works out for other people. The threads of motherhood are so interconnected that we sometimes forget that everybody is just trying to figure it out and live their best lives. I am you and you are me.”
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fertility treatments, including assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedures such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), allow those who experience infertility a potential path to expand their families. IVF represents more than 99% of ART procedures performed and is an important fertility treatment option because it can help individuals conceive who may not be able to use other fertility treatment methods.
On Raising Her Biracial Daughter
Tika and her husband, Nicholas James, have always been intentional about discussing race with their daughter. One of their ventures as new parents included creating a children's podcast Adventures of Curiosity Cove to help garner Ella's curiosity and fill her up with important information about her culture and the world.
Tika shared with PARENTS, “She knows we have different skin tones and that she’s mixed race. I don’t think it’s fair to put any of my stuff on her since our experiences will vary. Right now, we’re homeschooling her. We’ll talk about Martin Luther King, the Civil Rights era, and the March on Washington. She loves history and has so many questions.”
The mommy mogul went on to say, “She was in a private school before, but the bullying pushed me over the edge. I also felt like she was getting lost. She didn’t understand certain concepts. My husband and I follow a whole curriculum, and she also goes to a co-op. She’s already light years ahead. For me, it’s about giving her more catered time and flexibility.”
Lessons From Her Mom
Seeing her mom work so hard made Tika want to be a better daughter. “I’m the middle child out of seven kids, two of whom were adopted, the actress said. She continued, “I remember always wanting to keep the house clean for her because she came home exhausted. I was like, 'What can I do to make this better?' I used to work at a movie theater as a teen when my mom was retiring, and I’d have her come to the movies and stay all day. I would give her popcorn and candy. I was so happy that she got relief watching movies for free. It was a little escape.”
Tika’s mom tried her best to keep her kids in line, which led Tika to believe she would inherit the same “tough parent” genes, but she declares she has not. “I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower,” Tika said.
What She’s Learned From Her Daughter
When Tika Sumpter gets a little hyper, her daughter will put her hand on her heart and say, “Mom, breathe.” She’ll do it in such a soulful way — she’s the only woman who can tell Sumpter to relax in a way that is not condescending. Tika shared, “I tell her all the time that she’s so much better than me. The other day, she said, “You’re a really good mom.” Sometimes I feel like I’m such a failure because I’m always working. But she just started rattling off all the things that I am to her, and my eyes started watering. I thought, I’m doing a good job. It validated all the things that I poured into her.”
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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One of my goals for 2025 is to take better care of my body. Whether it’s making movement a daily practice, eating more vegetables and protein, or making rest a priority. Within that goal is to also reduce the toxic chemicals I put in and on my body.
A few weeks ago, I was perusing YouTube and stumbled across a video from the Diary of a CEO podcast titled “No.1 Toxicologist: These Products Were Making Me Infertile And Are Harming Your Future Kids!”
It stopped me dead in my tracks because I want kids, so of course, I would like to know if I were using any of these products and if there were solutions.
Now, before I continue, I’m not trying to be a fearmonger, but I do think it’s important to know if you’re unintentionally doing something that can have a negative impact on your health.
In the interview, toxicologist Dr. Yvonne Burkart talked about everything from plastics being harmful to avoiding fragrances and how a lot of products pose potential health risks like cancer and infertility.
Many of our everyday products, like plastic containers, makeup, and non-stick cookware, are laced with phthalates, bisphenol (BPA), and PFAS chemicals, which are endocrine disruptors.
“In the human body, we have eight endocrine glands. So they’re little centers in our bodies, and they secrete hormones, and these hormones regulate pretty much everything that you can think of,” Dr. Burkart explained. From sleep, wake, digestion to how well your brain works, cognition to metabolism, to how quickly you can burn calories.
“How much fat you deposit, how much fat you can lose, and also your fertility, if you’re able to have children, someday. So endocrine disruptors are coming in, and they’re basically disrupting just as the name indicates. They’re throwing the balance off. They’re messing up the signaling. They’re causing everything to go haywire in our bodies.”
Black women especially have a higher risk of endocrine disruptors. Harvard Health reported that haircare products sold in mostly Black, low-income neighborhoods have more toxic chemicals than in white, affluent neighborhoods.
“I think the vast majority of people are entirely unaware of this and studies show it because there are studies showing that the earlier you start using cosmetic products, the higher your chance of coming down with breast cancer,” she said.
“And the people who had the highest prevalence were African American females. So I think it’s a combination of the fact that there is some level of racism, environmental injustice, but also a cultural and societal preference for certain products.” She even suggested that some of the creators of Black-owned companies may not even be aware of the health risks. While the government is slow with updating regulations and clean beauty is still far and few between, it’s up to us to make these changes.
Below is a list of four common products with toxins and what you can do to lessen risks when using them.
Scented Candles
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It’s popular to use scented candles, air fresheners, and incense to make your home smell good, but it can also make your home toxic. According to the National Library of Medicine, scented candles (with paraffin wax), for example, have carcinogens such as formaldehyde that, when lit indoors release harmful gasses. These gasses can cause respiratory issues, headaches, throat irritation, and overall, indoor pollution.
Dr. Burkart suggested that it’s also best to avoid soy blend candles as it can also have paraffin wax.
What you can do: If you want to use scented candles, it’s best to use ones that are made from beeswax, essential oils, and have wooden or cotton wicks as regular wicks can contain lead.
Plastic Containers
Our society has become so dependent on plastics. We drink out of plastic bottles, we store food in plastic containers, and we even heat food with plastic on top.
The Geneva Environment Network reported that “the toxic chemical additives and pollutants found in plastics threaten human health on a global scale. Scientifically-proven health effects include causing cancer or changing hormone activity (known as endocrine disruption), which can lead to reproductive, growth, and cognitive impairment.”
Dr. Burkart took it step further by revealing that microwaving plastic containers are worse because the heat releases it into “billions of microplastic particles” that then gets released into the food. This also applies to restaurant to-go cups with hot coffee or tea. Microplastic doesn’t break down in the body and can even be found in newborn babies.
Even BPA-free plastic bottles/ containers aren’t technically safe, because at the end of the day, it’s still plastic.
“We’re becoming plastic. We’re actually known as the plasticine epic. Humankind is more plastic. Eventually we will become more plastic than we are humans if we continue at this rate,” she said.
What you can do: Use reusable glass and stainless steel bottles, silverware, and glass food storage containers. Dr. Burkart suggested that if you have a glass container with a plastic lid, keep the food from touching the lid. Also try to buy loose fruit and vegetables versus packaged ones.
Non-Stick Cookware
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Many of us may have used a non-stick pan at some point. If not, then you’ve seen them in the cookware section at your local retailer. However, research shows that non-stick cookware isn’t safe.
“PTFE is the chemical name for teflon, so teflon is used to create the non-stick coating and it is believed because it’s so chemically stable that it wouldn’t come off the pan into your food, but that’s not true,” Dr. Burkart said.
“There’s evidence showing that there is transfer from the cookware in normal cooking conditions into the food. Not only that, when you heat the pan high enough, it will vaporize and get into the air and if you inhale it, you run the risk of experiencing what is known as teflon flu.” Dr. Burkart explained that teflon flu feels like getting the regular flu.
PFAS are also found in non-stick cookware, which are linked to kidney and testicular cancers and thyroid disorders. It also increases the risk of miscarriage, pre-term labor and pre-term birth, preeclampsia, PCOS, endometriosis, and obesity.
What you can do: Stainless steel and cast iron cookware are safer options.
Skincare Products
Unfortunately, most skincare products have phthalates, which is disguised as fragrances (parfums). “The reason why they’re (phthalates) in fragrances and manufactures love them so much is they’re what are known as film formers,” Dr. Burkart said.
“So it helps the fragrance to stick to surfaces like your skin, your clothing, and it helps to make it last longer and linger. So if you’ve ever sprayed something on yourself and are still able to smell it hours later, that’s a telltale sign that you’ve been exposed to phthalates.”
What you can do: While we love our perfumes, a solution can be to not wear it everyday. Another solution is to use essential oils instead.
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