Being that I am a marriage life coach, I often get asked if I subscribe to interfaith marriages. Well, being that I am also a Bible follower (not an evangelical by any stretch, but I do strive for discipleship—John 8:31-32), I have to take into account that the Bible has interfaith couples. One that immediately comes to mind is Boaz and Ruth. He was Hebrew, she was a Moabite—there you have it; an interfaith relationship. (By the way, if you read the story, you might change your tune about "I'm waiting on my Boaz."
If you want to be pursued, you're not waiting on a Boaz kind of man. Ruth—and Naomi—did a significant amount of the work in that love story. Check the records.) So were Moses and Zipporah and King Xerses and Esther. I think you get the gist. So no, I can't say, right off the rip, that interfaith relationships or marriages are "bad" or wrong.
Apparently, I'm not the only one to think that either. While in the United States, around 69 percent of married people say that their spouse shares their faith, there is a remaining 31 percent whose spouse does not; that number continues to climb too. As I did some additional digging around, I also discovered that while about one-third of all evangelical marriages end in divorce, that number jumps up to 50 percent if the union is an interfaith one. Also, if an evangelical marries someone who isn't religious at all, that divorce rate jumps to 62 percent. So clearly, although a lot of people are dating and marrying someone who doesn't share their faith, there are some risks that come with making the decision to do so.
That's why, if you're currently seeing someone who has a different faith than you or you're single and considering getting into an interfaith relationship, while it's not something that you should automatically write off, there are some things that you should think long and hard about before moving forward.
Is Your Goal Dating or Courtship?
If you're someone who "dates to marry", then this first point doesn't really apply to you. But since I know that there are a ton of people who can totally relate to articles like "Single Minded: So, What If You Like Dating But DON'T Desire Marriage?", that's why I thought this was a good starting point. While a lot of religious people, of any faith, feel that there is no need to date if you're not looking for something long-term, I know that some individuals do it for other reasons than to find a serious partner. Some people date in order to meet new people and gain fresh perspectives. Some people date simply because they enjoy the company of others. Some people date in order to figure out what they ultimately do want for their future. This is why it's so important to know why you do the things that you do. Are you dating simply to create some memories and have a good time in the moment? Or are you hoping that dating will turn into courtship (because no, dating and courtship aren't one in the same)?
I personally know of some couples who ended up breaking up because they did not ask themselves this question before getting into an interfaith relationship. Six months to a year in, they ended up coming to the decision that their different faith perspectives were too much to try and make their relationship go the distance. Feelings were deeply hurt because of it. This happens more than a lil' bit, so definitely ask yourself if you would go into an interfaith dynamic for casual reasons or, if it is long-term, if you are prepared to make some serious compromises in order to keep the connection intact (see "Interfaith Marriages Can Require Big Compromises").
Are Your Core Values and Principles Going to Be Compromised in Any Way?
Speaking of compromise, since I know that there are a lot of Christian women who support our site, and since I'm also aware of the fact that there are literally dozens and dozens of different denominations within the Christian "umbrella" (several sources say that there are around 200; you can cite that info here and here), it's worth mentioning that you can date a Christian but if they aren't apart of the same denomination as you, there can still be conflict. I've dated a Muslim before and honestly, when it came down to our core values and principles, we got along pretty well. Oh, but when I dated someone who was a Christian but wasn't the same denomination as I was—back when I was a part of one—pardon the pun but all hell broke loose. While we're here, please don't believe that non-denominational or interdenominational don't have strong denominational influences. I attended a "non-denominational church" for years but the influence was clearly what the first lady was—COGIC.
My point is this—when it comes to our core values and principles, if you're looking for the kind of relationship that is going to be long-term, you need to be with someone who complements both of those. How do you prioritize your career? How important is family to you? What are your views on sex? Where do you stand when it comes to political and social justice issues? What qualities do you value most in a relationship? What place do you give to boundaries and self-care? And yes, how important is religion to you? Don't assume that if you're Baptist who is dating someone who is Church of Christ or even is also Baptist that the relationship will automatically be smooth sailing. At the same time, don't assume that someone who is Buddhist or Bahá'í won't align with you in some unexpected ways.
The key is to know where you stand and then not to compromise on those things if you feel like you will be sacrificing the core of who you are in order to do so. At the end of the day, one of the articles that I read stated something that I agree with—"80% of those who are in an interfaith marriage believe that having similar values is more important than having a similar faith." Values over faith. Definitely not something that needs to be underestimated.
Will You Both Respect Each Other’s Beliefs?
I won't lie. Some of my most heated discussions involve the topic of religion. Hmph. Don't even get me started on Kanye. See, I'm already triggered. It's cool to have people in my world who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Bahai, Catholic, agnostic, atheist—I've even had some interesting conversations with Satanists before (heads up—Satanists don't subscribe to worshipping Satan but self; a lot of people don't know that). The reason is they can provide insights and perspectives that 1) I've probably never considered before and 2) can help to either strengthen my own faith or compel me to do more studying and researching. Y'all, you can't end up coming to this conclusion if you don't respect the religious views of others—first.
If you're not hearing someone else out, you're being disrespectful. If you think you've got so much "truth" that you are condescending and patronizing (I am floored by how many people of one faith try and actually tell someone of another faith what that person's faith is all about instead of listening to them), you're being disrespectful. On the dating tip, if what you're actually doing is "missionary dating"—meaning, you claim it's dating but really what you're doing is trying to convert someone—you're being disrespectful. If all you seem to be able to do is see the good in your faith and the "bad" in someone else's, you're being disrespectful. If you're trying to invoke—or provoke—fear into someone in order for them to see things your way, you are being disrespectful. If you are flippant and dismissive about how someone else views God or a higher power, yep—you are being disrespectful.
I'll tell you what—if there is an irony that comes out of interfaith relationships, it's the fact that it has the ability to reveal to people if they are as "godly" and "loving" as they think that they are. Because if you are dating someone of a different faith and you are rude, offensive and intolerant—what kind of religion are you in? You might want to seek another one. Real talk.
If the Desire Is Marriage and Kids, How Will You Raise Them?
When it comes to this particular point, the person who immediately comes to my mind is Bill Maher. No matter what you think about him, if you're considering or are already in an interfaith relationship, I encourage you to watch (or re-watch) his documentary from back in the day entitledReligulous. Not only does it touch on some points that are definitely worth pondering, it also provides a great example for why I brought up this part of the article up. Bill? He had one parent who was Catholic and one who was Jewish. Geeze. I'm not sure if it gets more extreme than that, just on the Christ points alone. That's why I can see how he struggles with issues of faith, religion and spirituality; why he's always looking for contradictions. Just look at how his upbringing had its own set of 'em.
There are some people close to me who have two young children. The mother is a Christian and the father isn't; he doesn't really affiliate with any faith. That has caused some real challenges when it comes to how they see church-going, holiday observances and even how the home should function when it comes to gender roles, spirituality and a host of other things. When it was just the couple, while they were both a little irritated by a few differences in perspectives, it wasn't that big of a deal. Now that they are raising little humans, though, they are in counseling more than they've ever been.
Moral to the story. If you are already in an interfaith relationship and you are contemplating marriage, have some serious conversations about if you both desire to have children and, if so, how they should be raised. Don't be out here in la-la-land thinking that you'll just cross that bridge when you get to it. If you wait until then, you might end up with a child who is super confused (and perhaps also mad disinterested) when it comes to the issue of faith. Not because of faith itself but because of all of the contradictions they witnessed while growing up…in your household.
Do You Get That You Can Be “Unequally Yoked” Beyond One’s Faith?
The kind of Christians I know who think that an article like this is totally ridiculous, they tend to feel that way due to a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14—NKJV) It's in the Scriptures, no question.
To that, I just want to present something for you to consider. Is an "unbeliever" only someone who doesn't share your religious perspective? Could it quite possibly also speak to someone who doesn't complement your life, in general? Could it be someone who actually doesn't believe…in you?
Sharing the same religious or spiritual beliefs with someone is important; there is no debating that. But Christians actually divorce more than any other faith in the world. And that kind of actually proves the point that I'm trying to make here. Don't be out here thinking that if you share the same faith with someone that you are automatically in sync with them. In order to walk together in a true partnership, make sure you are on the same page about if you believe in one another too.
Can You Truly Agree to Disagree?
Ask any married couple who has any real time under their belt and they're going to tell you that if you want to have peace in your household, there are going to be some things that you will simply need to "agree to disagree" on. And boy, no greater words could be spoken than when it applies to an interfaith relationship. Take the holidays, for example. I once interviewed a wife on the topic of interfaith unions. Because she was Jewish and her husband was Christian, Christmas used to be a nightmare in her house because she thought that celebrating the birth of what her faith sees as a prophet vs. what her husband sees as the Savior of mankind couldn't be more blasphemous. She said that she finally got OK with some of the things that her husband wanted to do, simply because of the peace and joy that his attitude brought into their home that time of the year. "Christmas irks me, but it's only for a day. I can deal with all of the hoopla for 24 hours."
If you want to make your own interfaith marriage work and last, this is the kind of attitude that you need to be prepared to have about a lot of things. Again, even if you are both in the same faith but are a part of different denominations. I am a Sabbath observer. Tons of the people I've dated go to church on Sunday. We both are Bible believers, but that one thing alone can still cause conflict. See what I mean?
As I bring this to a close, this final point is a great reminder that, in the midst of your pondering, keep in mind that if you are controlling, intolerant or impatient, an interfaith relationship is absolutely not for you. Because in order to make that type of relationship work and last, you need to be the opposite of each of those traits. You need to have faith that two different faiths have enough mutual love and respect to work through the differences. If you don't honestly believe that, it's a big world out here. Opt for someone who shares your faith—so that hopefully joy, peace and harmony will be at you and yours' foundation. After all, that should be the ultimate goal. Whether two people share the same faith—or not.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have
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A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
“I think for me, an all-American girl, for some reason, brings me back to when I was younger, and just like playing at my grandma’s house and just being outside,” Kennedy told xoNecole ahead of her attendance at the 2025 BET Awards.
“I just feel like when I was younger, you know, you don’t have as many responsibilities. There’s not as much weighing you down, and so I kind of go back to that mindset. Like, even now, being 27, I’m trying to get back to that younger girl.”
The 2025 BET Awards, hosted by Kevin Hart, took place in Los Angeles at the Peacock Theater on Monday night (June 9). The star-studded event was filled with tons of surprises, including a trip down memory lane with a 106 & Park reunion, coupled with performances by artists that dominated the top spots during the music video countdown show’s reign from 2000 to 2014.
Kennedy, who received her first nomination alongside Tanner Adell, Brittney Spencer, Reyna Roberts, and Beyoncè in the BET Her category for “Blackbiird,” the reimagination of the original The Beatles of the same title (minus the extra i), invited xoNecole to get ready with her as she prepared for her first-ever BET Awards.
Beauty Rituals Inherited From Her Mother.
Rather than booking her makeup artist ahead of the big night, Kennedy decided to go on a budget and do the task herself, something that isn’t too out of her norm. She noted how she incorporates some of the things she witnessed her mother do while growing up in her routine.
“I remember being younger and seeing all the makeup laid out on my mom’s counter,” the “I Look Good In That Truck” singer recalled. “I don’t even think she knows this, but there were moments where I would like to go and steal her makeup. She would have Mac. I think it was some kind of foundation powder, and I would go in there and I would put it on, and I’m like I hope she doesn’t see.”
She added, “My mom is very natural with her makeup, so even though I’ve got these big lashes on, I always gravitate towards just neutral looks… I don’t do anything too fancy.”
Tiera Kennedy’s Holy Grail of Products.
Kennedy took it upon herself to take a class to ensure that she’s prepared for nights like these, where she’s the one responsible for bringing her glam look to life.
“We are independent,” she said, reminding us that she is no longer tied to a big machine when it comes to her work as an artist. “We ball on a budget. I have to do my makeup for award shows, events, all the things, and so my makeup artist that taught me how to do all of this, Hailee Clark, she put me on to Nars, the foundation. I don’t know exactly what the name of it is, but I love it.”
“I don’t know all the fancy technicals, but I know that it makes me just look kind of airbrushed, and so I love it. Then, I always use this Laura Mercier [setting] powder because I get real shiny, so I’ve gotta reapply that quite often.”
“We are independent. We ball on a budget. I have to do my makeup for award shows, events, all the things, and so my makeup artist that taught me how to do all of this, Hailee Clark, she put me on."
Her Decision To Wear Hanifa For The Big Night.
Intentionality is essential for Kennedy, which is why she jumped at the opportunity to support Black designer Anifa Mvuemba with a dress from her fashion brand, Hanifa.
“Takirra on my team helped me pick out the dress. I really like to represent in country music, and being in Nashville, I like to represent Black culture through the things that I wear, and I was excited to get to wear a Black brand to the BET Awards,” said Kennedy.
“She was telling me about this brand, Hanifa, and we were on FaceTime just scrolling through the website, and she was like this looks like you. This feels very rooted, like fits those natural tones, and so she bought the dress and was like, ‘This is what you’re wearing.’”
The look was a Raven Knit Dress in Eggplant/Dark Brown Mesh from Hanifa.
Tiera Kennedy in her younger years.
Courtesy
Kennedy also nurtured her inner child for the look, taking it back to her roots with one small detail in her hair that she had her mother carry out before she hopped on the flight to LA.
“I had this vision of wearing beads in my hair because when I was younger, my mom would always do that, and I didn’t love it, but now I’m like, it would be really beautiful to tie all of that together, and the Hanifa dress just fit perfectly.”
“Just even in the past couple of days, I’ve had to take a second, and just look back at all of the awesome things we’ve gotten to do,” said Kennedy when asked what baby Tiera is feeling in this moment.
“I had this vision of wearing beads in my hair, because when I was younger, my mom would always do that, and I didn’t love it, but now I’m like, it would be really beautiful to tie all of that together, and the Hanifa dress just fit perfectly.”
“I dreamed of having a record and having this team that was doing all of these things for me, and now, being an independent artist, and being in control of my career, I’ve gotten to build an awesome team behind me that helps me get to where I am. It’s been a lot of hard work, and I think when I was younger, I would have never imagined that I could do all of these things, and so, yeah, to be here, I don’t even think I would believe it.”
Although “Blackbiird” didn’t win in the BET Her category during Monday night’s show, Kennedy’s future is brighter than ever, which she attests to her faith playing a huge role in guiding her next steps as she continues to rise to stardom.
“Thinking about the next thing, I think that can be really daunting when you’re an independent artist. It’s like you have to be thinking of what’s coming next, to prepare for that, but I think the way that I like to walk through life in general is letting the Lord lead,” Kennedy said.
“I know that a lot of time when I have a vision of what I want things to look like in my head, He always exceed my expectations. So, I think the plan is to continue to release music, and continue to show up as my authentic self. Getting to have these moments like the BET Awards is so awesome, but also, at the same time, that’s not what I do this for. I do it for the humans that are listening to my music, that are [having] fun and healing through my music, so I hope that I can just continue to do that.”
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