Daytime talk show host Tamron Hall has got a lot to celebrate nowadays. Her Emmy-winning talk show Tamron Hall Show is in its third season, she is a new author and her two-year-old son Moses started school this fall. While she's always been killing the game when it came to her career, getting married and starting a family was somewhat far-fetched for the 51-year-old.
The award-winning journalist made an appearance on Jemele Hill's podcast, Jemele Hill is Unbothered, and reflected on the time in her life when she was satisfied as the auntie before having a child and why it's OK for independent women to want a partner.
As an aunt, Tamron has three nieces and a nephew and refers to them as "my children."
"...They satisfied that desire to care for someone else outside of my home. They certainly depleted my bank account like a parent would feel so they satisfied a lot and I was the exceptional aunt that so many women, particularly Black women have evolved to being and I was OK with that."
But just because she didn't have biological children at the time, didn't mean she was single. The thought of marriage, however, was something that was complex for her. The talk show host said her feelings about marriage involved "a lot of layers," but she did accept rings from past boyfriends. Because those relationships didn't end up working out, she eventually got to a point where she was afraid of getting into another relationship.
"Between 35-37, I definitely went through that fear of failed relationships. Like I'm not---I'm good. I think that was more of me saying to myself that I was afraid of another failed situation."
However, she would end up meeting her husband, Steven Greener. The two met at an event and kept running into each other after. She said he joked about them having a child during their first meeting, but she didn't take him seriously at first. As they continued dating (they moved in together after three weeks of dating), Tamron decided to look into IVF treatments and after multiple unsuccessful attempts, she found out she was pregnant.
In March 2019, Tamron surprised everyone when she announced that she was married and expecting her first child with her husband at 48. With finding her bliss, she wanted to explore the topic of relationships on her talk show, especially after conversations she's had with friends.
"I have girlfriends who will say 'I don't want to be in a relationship,' and I said, 'it's OK to say you do. It's OK to say I want a man in my life or a partner in my life or a woman, whatever it is that you want, it's OK."
She went on to talk about her experience being raised by a single mother and being taught to be independent, which is a similar reality for a lot of Black women. While she believes the messaging of being independent is out of love, it can also be harmful.
"I was raised to be an independent woman. You can do bad by yourself. If you bring the wrong one in, your bills double, your rent doubles. So, while I embrace that message that my mother gave to me being a single mom, and she didn't want me to be dependent upon it, it also can also come at a cost where you don't allow yourself to have that vulnerable moment of saying, 'yeah I can do bad by myself.' 'I don't need a man' or 'I don't need a partner', but 'I want one and I'm going to look for one.'
"And I'm going to put myself at the bar with the good light just in case someone walks by and so that's been a big message to my friends and even to myself at some point in my life that it's OK to want to be married and it's OK to say it. That doesn't mean that you're weak or that you looking (sarcastically). It's OK to look, you might find him."
So, in other words, don't let being an independent woman keep you alone. Find your love queen!
Featured image by Daytime Emmy Awards 2021 via Getty Images