Summer Walker Reminds Us You Can’t Change A Man, He Has To Want It For Himself
There's something about Summer Walker that has many of us with one hand over our eyes while watching her like a car wreck and in the next moment saying, "Same, sis." If it's not her beauty and talent, then it's her turbulent relationship with beau and the future father of her unborn child, London On Da Track. Summer, who recently confirmed her pregnancy with the successful music producer, is one of the hottest R&B artists out at the moment, and from the outside looking in, it should be a musical match made in heaven. However, as the two are both seemingly fighting their own demons, the off-and-on relationship has been everything but.
Summer Walker/Instagram
Summer and London's relationship is one that requires us to sit back and think about our standards and values as we watch their romantic lives unfold online. Among others, questions come up like, "How many times have I let a partner get away with treating me in a way that was less than I deserved?" or "How many times did I think if I just loved someone a little harder, I could change them?" Well, I can tell you at Summer's age (she's 24), my love life was a hot ass mess so I'm not here to shade her nor anyone else figuring out love. However, I am reminded of a lesson I learned and relearned while navigating love and relationships: you can't change a man, he has to want to change himself. The moment I find myself trying to change a man is the moment I need to direct energy back to myself.
Although she might have seen the signs that London could potentially be just as absent with their child as he is with his others, Summer would often defend him. Recently, the "Girls Need Love" songstress expressed her truth in the situation via a variety of posts on her Instagram stories:
"I tried to get him to spend time with his other kids as much as I could. He ain't want to because he's selfish. I tried to get his baby mama's to let him see the kids, they didn't want to cause they was bitter and hated me for no reason. I tried to get everybody to just get the f-ck along like one big happy family and instead, everyone just want's to sh-t on me and now I just have the sh-t end of the stick...
She continued:
"Black men gotta start doing better when it comes to being a father. My grandfather lame, my father lame, and dis n*gga lame. I guess the cycle will just continue. I guess n*ggas still dealing with the shackles of mental slavery or some sh-t, back when white men ripped you from your families and beat you to death if you tried to protect them. It goes deep. Sh-t's really sad.
"But that's how it goes when everybody spiritually and mentally undeveloped. Idk wtf I was thinking.
"But at least I can afford to take care of my child."
Summer Walker think she exposing London, but she really exposing herself and that she was cool sleeping with a man who was deadbeat to 3 separate kids until her child was one of the ones being neglected. SMH
— Qᴜᴇᴇɴ ᴏғ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ (@KorySKirk) November 28, 2020
If you are thinking, "What in the Future is going on here?", you aren't alone, sis is probably asking herself the same question. Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, the way that you allow a person to treat you is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. It is easy to observe that if Summer with all that she's accomplished, all of her potential, feels most valuable when she is out here hustling for her worth in her romantic relationship, she has a lot of work to do.
Regardless i hate manipulative men who are all around trash and narcissistic (for no reason). Spreading your seed shouldn’t be a stamp of approval to your ego you turkey baster. Ground yourself... get a therapist maybe? Then your kids won’t grow up resenting you
— astro girl (@therealkimj) November 28, 2020
If not for herself, then for her child that will be affected the most looking into the brokenness of their mother trying to find their reflection. This appears to be a very deep-rooted issue with self-value mixed with the terror of venturing out completely on her own. The pivot to a therapist's couch isn't an impossible one to make, just a little harder with a baby in her belly and her Bob-the-Builder tool belt on.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you can't change that man, sis. You can only change yourself.
All of this is unfortunate. But she’ll get it together. She has no choice now
— sagitterrrrrrroist (@Jahniquexo) November 28, 2020
Summer is making the best first step: admitting that there is a problem. She is with a man who has his fair share of issues in fatherhood and relationships. She did forge full speed ahead into a lifelong commitment with a man while ignoring all the red flags and writing on the wall. She did think that if she just loved someone outside of herself just a little bit harder she could change them. She's just like us, or like me for what it's worth, and she has the power to change her life if she so chooses.
It's never too late to level up sis and attract a love that you truly deserve.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Instagram/Summer Walker
- Summer Walker Says She Has Officially Broken Up With London On ... ›
- Summer Walker Reportedly Splits from Boyfriend London On Da Track ›
- Summer Walker's Boyfriend London On Da Track Has Child With ... ›
- Summer Walker Speaks Out About London On Da Track Appearing ... ›
- Summer Walker Posts Cryptic Messages & Fans Think It's Over w ... ›
New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED