In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Can women have it all? Undoubtedly, there have been many attempts to answer this question over the years, most with a mournful no. But with just one glimpse into the life of plus-size blogger and beauty/style influencer Rochelle Johnson, the answer it would seem should be a resounding yes. A doting husband, beautiful toddler, AND a booming career? She holds the trifecta of a life well lived and fulfilled. And if you aren't familiar with her brand, you definitely should be.
Gracing the pages of popular style mags such as Glamour and People StyleWatch, and securing campaigns with some of the biggest names in the game, this LA native has served to be an inspiration to women of all sizes and shapes well before the inception of her brand Beauticurve in 2013. And as someone who has personally taken occasional cues from her on everything from mixing prints to becoming comfortable in my own skin and what I wear, her evolution to becoming one of the top dogs in the industry has been nothing short of inspirational and impeccable.
With her very first clothing line in collaboration with Lane Bryant on the horizon, I wanted to know just how she manages to maintain it all in this latest segment of Finding Balance.
What does the average day or week look like for you?
Courtesy of Rochelle Johnson
I get up. I drink my celery juice. (I started drinking it about a month ago, but I'm already obsessed with it!) I pray and then I watch the morning news for about 30-40 minutes while I'm scrolling Instagram. I'll make a to-do list for the day of the things I need to get done, try to schedule my shoot for the day. I try to do one photoshoot a week so that I'll have content for the blog and social media. Then Creed wakes up and I make breakfast for him and hold him for about an hour and get him up basically!
The rest of my day is about him but when I put him down for a nap, I can get back to work -- whether that's finishing up my to-do list or writing up a blog post. Then Mike gets home and I make dinner and I pick his brain for ideas for shoots and try to catch him up with what's happening with Beauticurve.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
The most hectic part of my week is shoot day. I normally try to get an assistant for the day and I try to make sure that when I leave the house, I'm not forgetting anything, which I always seem to and that gets hectic because it's like you're wasting time and money and that can be detrimental. And it's also trying to come up with creative ideas for brand work because you're always trying to figure out how many ways can I hold a shampoo bottle? That's really why I scroll through Instagram, to gain inspiration and different ways to do things!
Do you practice any types of self-care?
Courtesy of Rochelle Johnson
My self-care is watching Netflix! I just try to take a moment everyday where I can sit down and not do anything or do something that I like to do. Like online shopping, or watching Netflix, or eat a meal! It's just taking a moment everyday where I can relax, turn off my brain for an hour or 30 minutes.
How do you find balance with:
Courtesy of Rochelle Johnson
Love/Marriage?
[My husband and I] just try to go on a date or do double dates at least once a month, which is not very often but Mike and I have been so busy lately. But every year, we try to take a big trip, usually for our anniversary. So we do small things like that.
Friends?
I feel like most of my friends are online. For me, it's occasionally reaching out to a friend to check-in and bounce ideas off of them. I do try to make a point to attend something that my friends will be at once a year, just to keep the connection. It's normally a one-stop shop like going to events during Fashion Week where I can see everyone and talk to them.
Exercise/Health?
I have a trainer and I go twice a week, but I feel like making that a priority is always hard, so I told myself I was going to start waking up at 5 a.m. to workout everyday and make it a part of my life. Because if you don't do it first thing in the morning, it won't get done unless you're really disciplined. And it's about making healthy choices throughout the day.
Do you ever detox?
I do a food detox once or twice a year but it's mainly after I've been traveling a lot. I don't do a social media detox because it's literally my job and I'm not on it as much as I probably should be, so that's not an issue for me. Sometimes I'll give up coffee for a week because I drink coffee everyday, three times a day. And I get tired of it.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Courtesy of Rochelle Johnson
I just have to pray. It happens a lot to where I don't know what to do or where I'm unsure or have to make a big decision. Of course, I talk to Michael but we both pray about it and see what the Lord says.
What does success mean to you?
I think that success sometimes looks different from what you thought it was going to look like and people have to be open to accepting that. You have to be honest with yourself and not be so rigid.
For more of Rochelle, follow her on Instagram.
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Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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