Never mind her sudden success in Hollywood or the millions of eyes already tuned into her moves, Karrueche Tran is not blinded by fame. The moment the Claws actress settles into her call with xoNecole, it's clear she is set on making an impact that runs deeper than a trending moment.
Whether it's through her hit TNT series or her latest film Never Heard (released November 1), where she steps into unchartered territory as a church girl named Paris, the Los Angeles native is enamored by opportunities that allow women to see and be their authentic selves.
Determined to illuminate the humanity within each role she steps into, no matter how different they appear on the surface, the two-time Emmy winner is most excited for fans to witness pieces of themselves manifest on screen as they dive into the lives of her characters.
Her mission isn't one-dimensional, either. The model made a refreshing statement on celebrating natural beauty in the face of unattainable standards with her latest ColourPop collection, Brown Sugar. "Girls need to be reminded that you can come as you are," she champions. "You don't have to change. Embrace everything that comes with you: your journey, your story, your scars."
In this xoChat, Karrueche details building her name as a creative, tapping into the power of faith, avoiding the pitfalls of social media, and rediscovering love after heartbreak.
xoNecole: What drew you to your latest movie, 'Never Heard'?
Karrueche Tran: As a new actress, I'm still exploring roles and trying to expand my creativity and my artistry. Paris is a character that I've never played before, so I was interested in digging deep into who she is. And also, I love the story and the message of the movie itself. It's a movie about faith and redemption and the power of prayer. As creatives, as people who influence and have platforms, I think it's important for us to continue to portray these stories for the world to see and stories people can easily relate to. I think that's the great thing about this movie.
As far as your personal life goes, how much did you resonate with the heart of the movie?
I've always had a relationship with God. I'm not extremely religious, but I did grow up Christian. I had a very hard time in my life in which there was just a lot going on, and I connected myself more with God and built that relationship because, at that time, He was the only person that I had to rely on. I wasn't even relying on myself. I didn't even have any self-worth or love at the time. He restored my faith, and I left it all in His hands to help me and push me through my struggles, and thankfully, He was there for me. Even to this day, every night when I pray, I tell Him how thankful and blessed I am to have Him by my side throughout the journey of my life – the ups and the downs and the confusion and the mistakes and the great things that are happening.
"I didn't even have any self-worth or love at the time. He restored my faith, and I left it all in His hands to help me and push me through my struggles."
You’ve been cementing your name as an actress on the hit TNT series ‘Claws’ and from what we’ve seen, your character Paris is worlds apart from Virginia. What work goes into tapping into the lives of characters that are so different from each other?
One thing that I love is character building. For Virginia, she was a stripper, so I spent a lot of time in the strip club doing research, literally watching the girls and how they moved and how they talked to each other and communicated with their customers. For Paris, I didn't have as much time to do research like I did with Virginia, but I kind of built my vision of who I thought she was and where she came from. I personally didn't grow up in the church, but I put my mind there as the young, sweet girl who's kind of the girl next door who lost her mother [and] who has this relationship with her father that's not as strong as she would like it to be. Again, that's another great, relatable story that a lot of girls will be able to connect with, and that's what I love about the character. She's real, and she's genuine.
From Niecy Nash to Robin Givens, you’ve shared sets with a number of veterans in the industry. How has that stretched you as an artist?
I'm blessed to be in their presence and to be able to say that I've worked with all these amazing actors. I've worked with a lot of veterans, and for where I'm at in my career, it's truly a blessing, and I'm so thankful to work so closely to them. It definitely motivates me to be better and to push myself harder and to perfect my craft.
TNT
You already have two Emmys to your name, both from the web series ‘The Bay’ where you got your start. Is that something that you imagined you would accomplish as early as you did?
Not at all. Some people grow up wanting to be an actor, knowing that this is their calling, and I had no idea. Honestly, sometimes I forget that I have two Emmys sitting in my house. It's mind blowing. It's crazy, but it sets the tone for me to not get comfortable and to continue to work harder and live up to the standard of being able to say, "I have two Emmys."
Outside of acting, you’ve also established yourself in the world of fashion as a model. When we were introduced to you, though, you were on the styling end of things. Was it always in your plan to end up where you are now?
No. Again, it wasn't something that I ever expected. I'm from LA, and I've always seen myself as a regular girl. I had two jobs. I was a stylist, and I had this opportunity to be featured in a film. It was a very small role with one speaking line, but from there it sparked an interest, and from there I saw the potential. I also realized that it's not easy, and it was going to be a lot of work, but I was willing to study and work my way towards perfecting my craft.
Karrueche ColourPop Brown Sugar Collection
You’ve been working with ColourPop since 2016 and have another joint collection out now. Tell us about your relationship with that brand. What makes it a great fit for you?
Brown Sugar, which is my latest collection, is currently available, so make sure everybody gets that (laughs). I just love that ColourPop gives me so much [freedom] to create things that are genuine to me, so all of my collections have been something that I've actually been hands on with. I pick the colors, the names, the packaging, the story behind the collection. I literally have created everything, and I think that's just so awesome because it's real, and it's something that's a part of me that I can give back to the world. And beauty is such a huge market right now. Years ago, I wasn't as into makeup, but now I have such a love for it, and you can just have so much fun [with it].
Brown Sugar seems to be a lot deeper than makeup. What’s the story behind it?
Whenever I come up with a new collection, I sit and think about what kind of headspace I'm in right now, what's going on in my life, and how I can incorporate personal ties to this collection. As much as I love makeup, I've been in this phase with social media where I feel we get a bit distracted with reality, so I wanted to bring back a sense of individuality and relay that message to girls. You don't necessarily have to look a certain way or wear certain things. Girls need to be reminded that you can come as you are. You don't have to change. Embrace everything that comes with you: your journey, your story, your scars. It doesn't matter where you come from or what you've been through, we can all be beautiful and powerful and great together.
Karrueche ColourPop Brown Sugar
"Girls need to be reminded that you can come as you are. You don't have to change. Embrace everything that comes with you."
I had a diverse group of models for the photoshoot, and I included the stories of each girl. I wanted them to be more than just a face, more than just a figure that had makeup on, more than just a model. I wanted the world to see that we are all very much different, and that's okay. We're all beautiful and talented in our own ways. We all have something to offer and bring to the table, and with today's society and social media, I think that gets a little lost and our perception of what's realistic is not real. There's a lot of beautiful girls with beautiful bodies, and that's cool, but not everybody can attain that. And with the line being called Brown Sugar, it's like a little finishing touch. All you need is a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but you don't have to change anything.
You’ve opened up about the pressures that come with being in the spotlight and owning who you are and how you look in spite of that. Are you in a space where you’re fully comfortable in your skin or is that something that you have to be intentional about celebrating?
It's a little bit of both. I'm comfortable, but then I'm not because I'll see a girl who's gorgeous and tall, and I've always wanted to be tall, but I'm 5'1'', and I'm not going to grow much more at the age of 30, you know (laughs)? And sometimes, I'll be like, Damn, I wish I looked like her, and my mind gets so consumed in that, and I have to remind myself that I have great qualities as well. It might not be the longest legs or the biggest butt, but that's okay. It's perfectly fine. I'm human. This is how God created me. I embrace it and try to let it go. That's dangerous if you become so sucked into negativity and judgment and being self-conscious. I think it can really wear and tear somebody down mentally. At one point, I did go through that heavily, and I don't want to go through that again so I reevaluate and remind myself of who I am and what I have to offer.
"I have to remind myself that I have great qualities as well. It might not be the longest legs or the biggest butt, but that's okay. It's perfectly fine. I'm human. This is how God created me."
You haven’t necessarily embraced the term “influencer” that’s often attached to your name. Why have you steered clear of that lane?
It's just weird (laughs). Again, I look at myself as Karrueche from LA – just a regular girl – so when I think about being an influencer, I'm like, What does that mean? It's just a strange term to me, and that's why I think I'm so vocal about pushing for positivity and embracing ourselves and our individuality because if I'm going to be called an influencer, then I'm going to utilize my voice and my platform in the best way possible so I can influence people with substance, not just, I'm cute and I'm pretty. That's cool, but let's have some power and some longevity and just something real behind that. I can go on and on about social media. I have a love/hate relationship with it because I'm able to engage with my fans and have this amazing platform where I can reach out to people, but I want to use it in the best way so that I'm actually influencing people in the right direction.
You’ve rediscovered love within the past year, and it looks great on you. What have you learned in your single seasons that have made it possible for you to open your heart as the public keeps tabs yet again?
I learned a lot about myself. I learned self-love and self-worth and just understanding that essentially I don't need a man or anybody else to make me happy. I spent a lot of time by myself learning what I like and what I don't like, which has helped me realize that if I had to make it on my own, I could. Do I want to? No (laughs). But, if I were to never find a man out there, then I'd be content because I have my family, I have my friends, myself, and my career. Dating different people made me realize what I will and will not tolerate, and I am very lucky that my love life is where it is right now. I'm very comfortable and in a very good space.
You turned 30 this year. If you could have a conversation with Karrueche at 20, what would you tell her about the journey ahead?
I would've told myself to be more focused in whatever interested me at the time. To stay focused and to work harder than I was before. I was too busy running around and going out, so I just wish I would've started something earlier in my life to kind of get a headstart of where I'd be now. But, I'm fully content with where I am now, whether it be the ups or downs or the struggles and mistakes that I've made. As hurtful and as hard as it was, I wouldn't be who I am today if I never went through those things. That's the beauty of life. It's the journey of trials and tribulations and figuring things out and learning from your mistakes or going through them and hoping that you do.
As we draw closer to a new year, what should we expect next from you?
I just wrapped a movie called Embattled. We don't have a date for it yet, but it should be out sometime next year [in 2019]. I start shooting Claws again for Season 3. If anything else, you know how the industry is. Some things come up last minute or along the way, so who knows? But I'm definitely continuing to push myself, to work hard, and perfect my craft.
To keep up with Karrueche, follow her on Instagram. And check out her latest ColourPop collection Brown Sugar here.
Featured image courtesy of Karrueche Tran
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Personally, that is just one of the things I experienced while growing up, although the main reason why I’ve been estranged from my mother for (I think) about six years now (I honestly haven’t really been keeping track at this point) is because she simply doesn’t respect my boundaries. Even well into my adulthood, she has refused to do it and it was messing with my inner peace and personal growth on a few different levels — and y’all, I don’t care who it is, no one should have that kind of power over someone else’s life (if you want to read more about my journey with estrangement, I tackle the topic in my latest book).
And before some of you come with the ever-so-manipulated Bible verse “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), I hope you also remember that there is a Scripture that says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 — NKJV) To provoke is “to stir up, arouse, or call forth (feelings, desires, or activity)”; know what else it is: “to anger, enrage, exasperate, or vex.” Funny how it is not preached or taught nearly enough that parents are absolutely not supposed to raise their kids or treat their adult children in a way that angers, enrages, exasperates, or vexes them — and think about it: when’s the last time you heard a sermon on that? I’ll wait.
Besides, unless you’re someone who has made the courageous decision to put distance between the person/people who’ve raised you, you honestly don’t get how much of a sacrifice it can be. Very few of us are flippant about that decision. Very few of us saw our adult life without our parent(s) in it. Very few of us wanted to deal with all of the “fallout” that comes with making that kind of choice because listen, for me, it’s almost like being in witness protection in the sense of having to also leave certain people who are associated with her alone as well because either they also don’t respect boundaries or they try further victimize me by attempting to impose their opinions into something that they absolutely shouldn’t (for instance, when I shared what I went through with her, one of my closest friends at the time, more than once called me “petty”…yeah, he had to go; you don’t have to defend why you need to protect yourself…if you are doing that, those are unsafe people you are talking to).
It’s not like I’m rare either. In fact, it’s been reported that close to 30 percent of adults are currently estranged from at least one of their parents (you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here). And with that being said, today, we’re going to hear from 10 women (well, technically 12 if you include the videos at the beginning and end) as they share their own reasons why they made the decision to go “no contact” with their own parent/parents.
If you are estranged, I hope you will see that you are not alone. If you aren’t, I hope it will help you to have more compassion for those who have made this kind of choice. Because although “adulthood is surviving childhood” is true for many of us, it actually wasn’t supposed to be that way. And so, we’ve had to take great lengths to go from “surviving” to “flourishing”…even if that meant doing it without the ones who — alongside God, of course — created us.
Article continues after the video.
*Middle names are used so that people can speak freely*
1. Michelle. 32. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
Giphy“My mother is a narcissist — only I didn’t know it because I didn’t have much to compare her to because she kept me away from a lot of…everything. Ironically, that is a telling sign that you’ve got a narcissistic parent: they think you are an extension of them, so they try and make you do everything just like them. Since they are so bad at respecting boundaries, they don’t care how old you are — they think they have a say in every decision that you make because their ego is bigger than their love.
It took me years of therapy to recognize this but once I did and I told my mom that she was hypercritical, that she used to pit me and my siblings against each other, that she only knows how to gaslight and manipulate — she played the victim and told me that if I couldn’t accept her as she was, we couldn’t have a relationship.
That’s another thing about narcissist: they hate accountability. I think there should be more articles about parents who are estranged from their kids because they pull that ‘my way or the highway’ BS. I didn’t exactly leave my mom, but I did tell her what I wasn’t going to tolerate. We haven’t spoken in four years, ever since I drew that line. She left because she didn’t know how to humble herself, and I am fine with that. Arrogant people are toxic to be around.”
2. Iyan. 36. Estranged from Her Parents for 11 Years.
Giphy“I don’t think that a lot of parents get that they act like their kids should idolize them, which is crazy. We’re not toys or puppets who are supposed to do whatever they say, whenever they say it. Even as a parent myself, I think there is a difference between a child’s individuality and a child obeying me. Too many other parents have too much ego to think the differences through. To your question — I am estranged from my parents because they disapproved of who I chose to marry. He’s not the same faith as them but I don’t think that would even matter because they damn near betrothed me when I was a kid.
They wanted to choose my career path, my husband, my role in church — everything. It got to the point where they were disrespecting my husband, our relationship, and my feelings, and so it was time to boomerang their own Bible and remind them that when you get married, you ‘leave and cleave’ to your spouse and move on from your family. If your family accepts that, they can be in your life. If not, you’ve got to move on. They chose for me to be estranged, not me. I put my husband first, just like I was supposed to.”
3. Jahkai. 29. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
Giphy“Sometimes I think that people just have children so that they can have someone to boss around as kids and intimidate when they become adults. My mother is one of those people because it’s like her whole existence centers around trying to force me to live the life that she wants me to live. I used to be so afraid of her, even if that just meant afraid of her rejection, that I would go along with it.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter and saw that she wasn’t even going to respect me as a mom — and when I saw signs that she was going to try and pull that shit with my own child? The claws came out. I tried expressing my concerns and setting some boundaries, but she dismissed my feelings and walked right over my boundaries, so she had to go. There was no way that she was going to try and raise the child I birthed. My child needs peace. So do I.”
4. Gillian. 24. Estranged from Her Parents for Almost Two Years.
Giphy“I’m bisexual. That’s the beginning and end of it. I personally think it’s creepy when a parent can be so invested into their grown child’s sexuality that it ends up wrecking their own world. You sleep with who you want to sleep with, and I will do the same.
My parents don’t see it that way. They told me that unless I stop loving women, we have nothing to talk about. You only love me if I love who and how you love? That doesn’t sound like love at all.
I don’t expect my parents to agree with my life or even like it. I just don’t want you penalizing me because we are different. Seems really immature to be any other way…to me, anyway.”
5. Aubrie. 27. Estranged from Father for Four Years.
Giphy“My father always wanted me to be an accountant, and I hate math. That’s insane. That’s what happens when you don’t make the time to get to know your own children. So many parents are egomaniacs in that way — just because I look like you doesn’t mean that I am you. Until my sophomore year in college, I just held my tongue and suffered through my education because when I was living at home, I didn’t really have a choice, and when I went to school, my parents paid for my education.
They didn’t want me to have any debt, and I appreciated that, but my spirit was going into debt anyway because my dad had me on a path that I didn’t like or want, and my mom was too weak to speak up for either one of us. By my junior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get student loans, so that I could start over and major in English. That pissed my dad off two ways because I was changing my major and I was going to take on debt.
We’re not estranged in the classic sense. It’s more like he doesn’t come to the phone whenever I call, and he grunts words over the holidays. So, I call less and go home even less than that. We’re headed towards ‘no contact’ if he doesn’t get over the fact that he has a life, and so do I.”
6. Lameeya. 41. Estranged from Her Mother for Eight Years.
Giphy“My mother? I just don’t like her — I never really have. I can’t stand how we’ll all agree that you should choose your friends wisely, but when it comes to your blood, it’s like you should be all in their lap simply because they are related to you. Toxic is toxic, and my mother is the embodiment of that. She plays mind games. She manipulates. She gaslights. She’s spoiled and entitled. I would never pick her as a friend. She drains me in every way. It’s like whenever I would even sense that she was going to call or come around, I would get hives, and it got to the point where it didn’t make sense that I should suffer just because she’s my mother. Who came up with that?”
7. Sloane. 25. Estranged from Her Mother for One Year.
Giphy“I grew up COGIC. If you know, you know. When you’re a kid, you don’t know any different or better, but once I started to seek out my own path, I realized that Christianity just wasn’t for me. My mother damn near lives at church and so, of course, I was declaring that I wanted to go to hell in her eyes when I told her that I had chosen the Baháʼí faith. Christians can be so rude. Somehow, they want you to respect what they believe, but they are so comfortable preaching hell and damnation if you don’t think like them.
Anyway, a part of why I chose Baháʼí is because it’s very peaceful to me, and religion never brought me peace in my mother’s house. Now that I’m all about this peace-filled life, anything that is ‘anti’ it has to go. She was on the top of my list. If you can’t respect what makes me ‘me,’ why are you here? It’s just been a year now. If we remain out of contact, that’s kind of on her, but I have no desire to hear her preach every time we speak. Be my mom. I don’t want a pastor.”
8. Torrin. 33. Estranged from Her Parents for Six Years.
Giphy“You have your own dysfunctional issues going on if you think that you owe someone your sanity simply because they birthed you. A good parent doesn’t just give you life — they provide a safe environment for that life, and my parents didn’t.
My mother was hell on wheels, and my father was a weak man who let her be that way. She was controlling, erratic, and exhausting, while he just let it all happen.
I recently read that Khloe Kardashian said that her mom didn’t like it when she first started therapy. Controlling parents never do. It took me a lot of therapy to stop beating myself up mentally the way that my mother did emotionally and sometimes physically, but once I got that she was the problem and healing was the solution, I had no problem letting them both go: her for being abusive and my father for being complacent.”
9. Kristine. 40. Estranged from Her Mother for Six Months.
Giphy“You always want your parents to get along with your husband — I just didn’t bet on my mother loving him more than me, especially now that we are divorced. That man cheated on me, more than once, and although I didn’t tell my mom while we were married about it, once we separated and I explained why I made what was a really difficult decision for me, she kept finding excuses for him and even tried to make me feel bad for not trying to make it work. Divorces are hard, and the last thing I needed was my mother trying to ‘beat me up’ for standing up for myself.
Now I’ve got questions about her marriage because if you think that I should tolerate nonsense, have you been tolerating your husband’s? Has he been tolerating yours? You get a certain age, and you start to wonder how much projecting your parents do onto you. Anyway, we haven’t talked to each other in six months. She and my ex apparently still go out to dinner, though. You two enjoy.”
10. Madolyn. 45. Estranged from her Father for 20 Years.
Giphy“I had an abusive father. He was an alcoholic while I was growing up, and so fear instead of love kept me in communication with him once I became an adult. The plot twist is, he got clean while I was in college, but he suddenly had all kinds of amnesia about the pain that he caused. His apologies were sh-t like ‘I don’t remember that, but if you need me to apologize, okay.’ So, our lives were a living hell, and that’s all you’ve got because it hurts you too much to face it? Ain’t that a bitch.
The last time we spoke was right before I turned 25. I think someone is more harmful when they can’t own their sh-t than when they are actually doing it, because that means they could do it again. No thanks. I’ll take wholeness.”
____
As you can see, being estranged from a parent, going “no contact” with them, it has many layers, reasons, and scenarios. For me, as I listened to all of these women, what did come to my mind, though, is — how beautiful is it that, if the “beauty for ashes” in their stories is they had the strength to become self-aware, self-sufficient and healthy adults in spite of the cracks in their foundation, then there is a silver lining in it all. You should never feel guilt or shame for protecting yourself in ways that your parents absolutely should have. NOT. EVER.
And so, the sacrifice was well worth it — because ladies, look at you now. Salute.
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