June is a breath of fresh air for the collective. Mercury retrograde officially ends at the start of the month on June 3, and we get to enter June with a little less stress and delays flowing through the world. With Gemini season fully underway and a new vibe transpiring, the energy of the month is that of hope, inspiration, self-expression, and finding the courage to walk into new territory. With all the changes that have been flowing through the world already this year, June is coming in and wanting to regroup, gain the full picture, and create some space to breathe and allow the new to unfold.
The day after Mercury goes direct, Saturn goes retrograde. Saturn retrograde transits happen yearly, and this year Saturn will be going retrograde in the air sign, Aquarius. This Saturn retrograde brings attention to the collective, humanity, technology, and the systems of the world. Saturn wants to show us what systems need reworking, and what patterns and ways of being we can throw out altogether for the sake of love and for the sake of peace on Earth. As we move deeper into retrograde season this month, we are being reminded of the importance of doing this thing called life together, and to consider a helping hand when necessary.
The Moon cycles of the month are powerful, dynamic, and a little more light-hearted than what they have been now that we are officially out of eclipse season. The Full Strawberry Moon in Sagittarius on June 14 is a Supermoon, and this is a good Full Moon to release, renew, and take your healing and your happiness seriously. This Full Moon has a flair of adventure to it as well being in the sign of Sagittarius, and everything that has been going on within is making its showcase without. Cancer season begins on June 21 this year, and the energy moves from the head to the heart. Cancer season is the time to honor yourself, your home, and those that feel like family, and to nurture your world.
We have a New Moon in Cancer before the month ends on June 28, and this New Moon has a sweet disposition to it and is a time to believe in your new beginning. This Cancer New Moon will be highlighting the emotional world and is a time to set your intentions for what you want to become. Home is where the heart is during this time, and this New Moon is all about regrouping, finding your ground, and manifesting your heart's dreams. Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces the same day as the Cancer New Moon, and emotions are running high right now. You are being reminded as the month ends that your heart is the priority and that everything begins and ends here.
When you can find your balance between the head and the heart, you can live your truths and inspire others to do so as well. June is the time to believe in you, and believe in the magic that is becoming.
Aries Horoscope for June 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleA new month is here, and you have been getting your energy right, Aries. With Jupiter, the planet of good luck, entering your sign last month, and with May, June, and July being the only full months of the year that Jupiter will be completely direct in your sign, you are in the midst of immense progress and opportunities in June. This month is all about nurturing your body, your world, your intentions, and what is becoming for you at this time. You are at a place in life where you are creating space and the right conditions for your intentions to bloom.
There is a Full Supermoon in fellow fire sign Sagittarius occurring mid-month on June 14, and this Full Moon will be highlighting your 9th house of adventure. June is a good month to take that vacation you’ve been wanting to move forward with, and you will see fewer obstacles on the way towards your goals now that Mercury is officially out of retrograde and moving direct again. Venus enters Gemini and moves into your house of communication on June 22, and you are moving out of June and into July feeling inspired by what has transpired, and like your voice is really being heard and well-received right now.
Taurus Horoscope for June 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about finding your balance and your truth between past, present, and future, Taurus. You are bridging the gap in June from what was, to what is to be, and this is an exciting month of opportunities for you. The month begins with Mercury retrograde moving direct in your sign on June 3, and you can finally catch a breath right now. Breathe in, breathe out, Taurus. You are being given a helping hand this month, and are being lifted out of a place you don’t want to be anymore. This is soul replenishing for you.
With your ruling planet Venus in your sign until June 22, all the opportunities for love, nourishment, and grace are with you right now as you move through the month knowing that at the end of the day you are love and you are loved. June is all about looking at the positives in your world and creating more of them, rather than staying in a perspective that doesn’t serve your growth or your happiness. There is a Cancer New Moon on June 28 before the month ends, and you are receiving the messages and insights you have been looking for moving into July.
Gemini Horoscope for June 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a month of forward movement, progress, and inspiring action for you, Gemini. Your spirit is flying free, and this is an enlightening time for you. With your ruling planet, Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct on June 3, and with Mercury moving back into your sign from June 13 to July 5, all of the communication changes and challenges you were facing that had to do with who you are and how you express that, are turning around for you this month. No more second-guessing yourself or your voice, and June is all about knowing that you deserve to take up space.
A Full Strawberry Moon is happening in your opposite sign on June 14 this month, and this Full Moon is highlighting your love life and relationships. This Sagittarius Full Moon is bringing clarity to what partnerships work and can run with you, and what dynamics are best to be let go of now. Venus makes its yearly transit into your sign on June 22 where it will remain until July 17, and love is especially exciting for you right now. Through any blurred lines that have been, you have sought your truth, and discovered your bliss.
Cancer Horoscope for June 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe vision is clear, Cancer. June is a beautiful month of life unfolding to the dreams you have been setting for yourself and creating. There is a deep coming together within happening this month for you, and your wise soul is shining in your truth. Luck is on your side in June as you nurture the gifts of the present moment, and protect your energy. You have been on a journey of self-discovery as of late, and are experiencing a coming together of what you have been working on bringing to fruition this month.
Venus is currently in your house of friendships until June 22, and this is a good month to expand your network, meet new people, and connect with your hopes and dreams in life. A lot of things are changing for you this month, and they are moving in the direction of your dreams. Cancer season begins on June 21 this year, and it is your time to shine, beautiful. This Cancer season, remind yourself that you are a powerful creator of your reality. With a New Moon in Cancer on June 28 before the month ends as well, all things are possible, and they are coming together for you.
Leo Horoscope for June 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about flipping the script, and defining what it is you want to see moving forward, Leo. Relationships and their dynamics have been a big theme for you this year, and in June you are figuring out what works for you and what may need some reworking. Your guidance for the month is to remember your connection to your higher self, and that all the answers you need to know will always be within you and within reach. You are not alone on your journey, Leo, remember this.
With Saturn going retrograde in your house of love on June 4, you are thinking a lot about love this summer. The relationships in your life are strongly coming into focus in June, and you are getting the opportunity to see what relationships ground and support, and which ones make you feel off the path. The Full Supermoon in Sagittarius on June 14 will be giving you all the clarity needed on navigating the different experiences in your life, and how to put your happiness at the forefront of it all. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your house of endings and culminations, and you are wrapping up a major chapter in life.
Virgo Horoscope for June 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo, this is an important month for planting the seeds and creating your reality. June is a time when you are getting the full picture, and are rewriting your story. This month is about reminding yourself of the power you hold in life and speaking of things you want to bring into existence. Your thoughts and words hold immense power, and this month is reminding you of the importance of a clear mind and heart. With your ruling planet, Mercury officially moving out of retrograde at the start of the month, the path ahead is clearing for you and new opportunities abound, Virgo.
With Venus moving through your 9th house until June 22, you are inspired by expansion, travel, adventure, and the new. There is so much to learn, know, and dive into this month, and you are inspired by the connections you are making right now. The New Moon on June 28 is moving through your 11th house of friendships, and you are seeing some new beginnings within your social world and network this month. June is all about redefining your goals, hopes, and dreams, and seeing the true gifts in them. You are worthy, and you always have been, Virgo.
Libra Horoscope for June 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra, June is all about nurturing your world. This is the month to pay attention to the little moments of magic that are appearing for you right now and bring more of this beauty and contentment into your life. You have been allowing all to unfold, and have given your intentions the right space and conditions to continue to bloom for you. June is the month to practice opening up to receive, and knowing that you deserve the love you so often give. You have so much magic within you to share and shine in the world, and this month is reminding you how to maintain your balance through it all.
There is a strong focus with you right now when it comes to self-expression and speaking from the heart. Saturn goes retrograde in your 5th house of romance, creativity, and expression from the first week of June until October, and you are redefining ways to go about obtaining your happiness to where you feel this is something sustainable in your life and that you can continue to grow. With your ruling planet Venus moving into your house of adventure on June 22, this summer is all about having fun, feeling free, and making your happiness the priority.
Scorpio Horoscope for June 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleConnect to the sweet moments of life, Scorpio. June is a month of rebirth and a month of remaining patient with the blessings that are unfolding for you at this time. You have reached an important moment on your journey where you know exactly what you want and what that looks like for you, and the Universe has your back while this all unfolds. Finding the balance between what’s been and what is to be isn’t for the faint heart; but you have the courage, strength, and conviction to live your truths and stand in your happiness through it all this month.
With eclipse season out of the way and less tension flowing through the lives of Scorpios right now, June is your month to regroup and gain new ground. The Supermoon on June 14 will be entering your house of income, values, and self-confidence, and this is a good time to go over finances, clean out your wallet, and release anything you have been putting more time and effort into and not seeing a return back. June is your month to bring more of those precious moments of understanding and contentment into your life and to listen to your heart.
Sagittarius Horoscope for June 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is here, and you are experiencing some full-circle moments this month, Sagittarius. The month begins with Mercury officially moving out of Retrograde and going direct on June 3rd, and you have a clearer idea of what you see yourself doing daily, and what is going to ultimately benefit your health and lifestyle. This month is all about finding your flow and being your biggest cheerleader. You have shown yourself time and time again that if there is one person you can count on, it is you, and June is about moving through your experiences with this empowered perspective.
Mid-month a Full Strawberry Supermoon is occurring in your sign on June 14, and this is an empowering Full Moon for you. As life comes full circle during this time, make your self-love and self-care a priority and look in the mirror and say, “I love you” a few times. June is reminding you that you do not have to be a bystander to what is happening in your life and that this life is for you to create and consciously experience. With Venus moving into your opposite sign of Gemini before the month ends, you are entering a time of receptivity and grace.
Capricorn Horoscope for June 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about clarity for you, Capricorn. Some important decisions are being made this month, and you are bridging the gap between your intentions to your reality. This month is a time to find your balance between the closures you are seeing right now and the new beginnings that are coming from it, and about moving at your own pace. You have been weathering the storm and have gotten yourself out of some shaky waters, and June is the time when you are putting your foot down and making decisions with a clear heart.
With retrograde season moving underway and your ruling planet Saturn going retrograde at the start of the month, you are moving into a time this summer of understanding more of the giving and receiving in your life. Finances, income streams, and your financial goals for the future come into focus right now, and this is a good time to review the books and get things in order that you feel have fallen to the wayside. Before the month ends there is a New Moon in your opposite sign Cancer, and you are moving out in June and into July with the love and balance on the brain.
Aquarius Horoscope for June 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is singing a new tune for you this month, Aquarius. June is a month of being the lover and allowing yourself to be loved as well and is a time where your emotional world is highlighting the thoughts that have been flowing within. You are ready to stretch your wings and fly this month and are looking at the open horizons ahead of you right now. One of your ruling planets, Saturn, makes its yearly retrograde transit this month on June 4 and will be retrograde in your sign until October. You are entering a journey of defining what self-love means to you, and are giving yourself breathing room to figure things out for yourself.
The Full Moon on June 14 is an inspiring one for you, and a one that is helping you redefine your goals, and vision of the future. You are getting the opportunity to see some past intentions come full circle right now, and there are real treasures in your world to grab ahold of in June. By the end of the month, Venus moves into your 5th house of romance where it will remain until July 17, and there are a lot of happy times ahead of you right now, Aquarius.
Pisces Horoscope for June 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a month of big changes, and big power moves, Pisces. You are the one moving yourself forward right now, and you are getting yourself to a place where you feel there is more stable ground to walk on. You have been finding your balance between the need to heal and the need to be, and this is a month of renewed passion and inspiration. There is a lot of courage with you this month to clear space and make room for the new, and you are building your world right now with your heart in mind.
One of your ruling planets Neptune makes its yearly retrograde transit this month and will be retrograde in your sign from June 28 until December 3. This retrograde transit is reminding you of the importance of seeing things for what they are, and not allowing your powerful imagination to run too wild into territory that doesn’t serve your personal growth or idea of self. There is a New Moon in fellow water sign Cancer on the same day Neptune is going retrograde, and this is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to live out your dreams and happiness moving forward.
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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