

Ah, the Sunday Scaries. It seems a catchy title or cliche name has been given to almost all common age-old experiences, especially with the power and reach of social media. But real talk, the anxiety that hits many of us when we think about facing yet another Monday, is horrifyingly annoying, especially since a lot of times it’s tied to financial and family obligations that we can’t ignore.
For me, I’ve made friends with the Sunday Scaries at various times in my career journey. In the early years, they were prompted by the eagerness to please and move up the ladder at my first few dream jobs in publishing. In later years, as I set out for full-time self-employment, the Sunday Scaries showed their face again, this time due to the utter trepidation that comes with not only attracting and keeping clients and getting steady work but the process of juggling multiple deliverables for those clients.
So, how did I ultimately conquer the Sunday Scaries for good? Here are a few helpful steps I took:
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1. I got honest with myself about what was truly triggering the Sunday Scaries in the first place.
I began to write and noticed that there were various things that contributed to the nagging feeling on Sundays, which is how I was able to acknowledge that those feelings don’t necessarily mean I need to up and quit a job or give life to falsehoods like, ‘I just hate my life.’ For me, fear and insecurity were at the core of welcoming the Sunday Scaries into my weekly routine.
2. Based on those triggers, I wrote down solutions.
Sometimes, it was simply a lack of time management, a fear of failure, or over-commitment to work that I wasn’t really passionate about doing. I found I could implement solutions like:
- Shifting how I spend my Fridays so I’d have more time to spend strictly on self-love, pleasure, and fun.
- Talking with my clients or managers to find out if I could shift away from doing certain tasks and focus more on the work I loved and was great at doing.
- Letting go of projects, jobs, or clients that just didn’t serve my end goal or feed my creative advancement. (In one very unusual experience, I actually did quit after two weeks, and it was the best decision I could’ve made at the time.)
- Taking on weekend chores I really don’t like doing (like laundry, meal prepping, working out, or shopping) during the week.
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- Constantly exploring new job and career opportunities and fun ways to feed my urge to live freely, explore other aspects of life, and avoid feelings of being caged in by routine or monotony. (I grew up in a strict Christian household, so, as an adult, I really don’t like anything that sparks feelings of extreme restriction or lack of control. I found that sometimes the Sunday Scaries were nothing but rebellion clothed in fear, so to balance that, I often explore all my options and create multiple plans of action for things I want to do in life.)
- Going to therapy to talk more about processing through triggers and healthy ways to combat or eliminate them. (I’m still a Christian and enjoy the good things about my upbringing, but there were a few toxic and traumatic routines and memories that really were at the core of why I’d get the Sunday Scaries.)
3. I weighed the return on investment for the essential but not-so-sexy tasks of my job or career.
As much as this is said and written a lot, you’re not going to like every single thing about your job, and the journey is not always consistently blissful. Sometimes certain parts of work cultures, project management processes, or whatever it takes to be a success at work can be downright annoying, nerve-wracking, challenging, and tedious.
As long as I enjoy more things about work than I hate—and the not-so-appetizing but necessary tasks serve a bigger picture of purpose in my career journey—I can realistically say to hell with the Sunday Scaries and take on all that my job entails with humility, confidence, and conviction.
4. I began waking up earlier and scheduling at least 30 minutes on Monday mornings just for my self-care.
No checking emails. No taking care of others. No prepping anything. No scrolling anything. I’d sit in silence, re-watch an episode of one of my favorite Netflix shows, read a book, pray, or make myself a great breakfast to my favorite morning playlist on Spotify or YouTube.
I’d also put my phone in a cabinet or drawer during my me-time, as it often tempts me to check an email or get too immersed in watching hundreds of Reels.
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5. I found something focused on wonder and play to do every Monday (or every other) so that I could look forward to it the night before.
For me, it’s planning a trip or doing something that takes me into another cultural experience as if I’m traveling, like visiting an authentic Greek or Mexican restaurant.
It also could be taking a new dance class, going for a walk in a new location I hadn’t explored, or hanging out with family. And I literally schedule this time on Mondays, like an appointment or meeting—on my calendar—where I am, for the most part, unavailable for anything else during that hour or so that I’ve given myself.
Bonus: I got radical and cleared out my calendar on Mondays.
I once worked with an executive who’d block out a certain day of the week just to go golfing. If you’re self-employed, a freelancer, or you have seniority in your department or company, clear out your Mondays on your calendar, sis. Be deliberate about eliminating the problem altogether. Set boundaries with your clients, teams, or others so that they know you’re simply unavailable and will not be working. Even if you’re not the boss, you can ask for that day off or shift your work week to Tuesday-Saturday. Another compromise: Work remotely on Mondays.
Get honest with yourself about why those Sunday Scaries keep disrupting your peace, and begin to advocate for yourself. Find out where there might be some ways for you to get the mental break you need on Mondays so that they’re not getting the best of you. Tap into your support system, and get rid of routines, so-called norms, and influences that do not serve your end goals or quality of life.
As ambitious, capable, and beautiful Black queens, we must own our time and honor the gift that God has given us—empowered and fearless.
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Laterras R. Whitfield On What He Wants In A 'Future Wifey' & Redefining Masculinity
In this week's episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker chopped it up with Laterras R. Whitfield, host of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, for a raw and revealing conversation about personal growth, faith, and the search for love in a way that resonates.
Laterras Whitfield Believes Men Should Pursue, Not Persuade
“Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest”
Whitfield is a big advocate of a man’s role in going confidently for the woman he wants. “Men should pursue, not persuade, and women should present, not pursue,” he said. He’s open to meeting women on social media but isn’t a fan of bold approaches. “Don’t shoot your shot at me. … Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest.”
His ideal woman?
“She has to be a woman of God… I judge a woman by how her friends see her… and most importantly, how she treats my kids.”
Infidelity, Redemption, and the Power of Self-Control
“Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer”
Once unfaithful in his previous marriage, Whitfield has since transformed his perspective on masculinity. “Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer. That’s what true masculinity is to me now.” He has also committed to abstinence, choosing self-control as a defining trait of manhood.
Whitfield’s journey is one of redemption, purpose, and faith—something that speaks to women who value emotional intelligence, accountability, and the power of transformation.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Black Masculinity
What masculinity, legacy, and healing mean to Whitfield today
“My dad taught me what not to be [as a man] and my mom taught me what she needed [in a man],” Whitfield said. While his father wasn’t abusive, he wasn’t emotionally or affectionately present. “Since I didn’t see it, I never got it either… I would look at my dad and say, ‘I want to be a better father.’ ”
Adoption had always been on his spirit, influenced by TV shows like Different Strokes and Punky Brewster. This mindset led him to take in his nephew as his son after a powerful dream confirmed what he already felt in his heart.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Transforming Your Space On Any Budget: Tyka Pryde Is Redefining Interior Design With Her New BET Her Show
Tyka Pryde is no stranger to transformation. With over a decade of design experience and credits on shows like Queer Eye and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the award-winning creative has now stepped into the spotlight with her very own series, Design My Space Tyka Pryde, on BET Her.
The show, BET Her’s first-ever interior design and home renovation series, goes beyond simple aesthetics. Yes, there are bold textures, rich colors, and jaw-dropping reveals—but it’s the emotional storytelling that really sets this series apart.
“There’s a whole other facet to the show that is a lot about human transformation and helping people through tough times,” Tyka shared. “We had a four-time cancer survivor, people in recovery, and folks going through family issues. So, there’s a lot of tears and heart behind the homes.”
From PA to Powerhouse
Tyka didn’t come from a design school background—instead, she got her start as a production assistant on a home makeover show, learning everything on the job. That hands-on experience, along with her work on Queer Eye, helped her hone her collaborative skills and appreciate the emotional impact of design.
“I didn’t really realize it before, but when you see someone come into their newly transformed home for the first time and just fall to their knees in tears, you realize how deep it goes.”
TikTok to TV
Her journey to hosting her own show started where many modern stories do—on social media.
“I started posting interior design content on TikTok three years ago, which is actually what led to me getting my own show. TikTok totally changed my life,” she said.
Her comment section quickly became a hub of people who wanted beautiful homes but had no clue where to start. That realization helped her shape the mission behind Design My Space—empowering everyday people to create spaces that truly reflect who they are.
Big Impact, Small Budget
If you think you need a big budget to get that “Pinterest-worthy” home, think again. Tyka’s design philosophy is all about making the most of what you have. Her top tips?
“The biggest tool in our arsenal is paint. It’s probably the least expensive with the biggest impact. I also always tell everybody to hang curtains all the way to the ceiling and make sure they touch the floor—it instantly makes your space look more expensive and glamorous.”
She also recommends being strategic about where you splurge: save on rugs, but don’t be afraid to invest in art and lighting.
“Art is something you can have with you forever. And lighting is the most important element to the space for me.”
“The biggest tool in our arsenal is paint. It’s probably the least expensive with the biggest impact. I also always tell everybody to hang curtains all the way to the ceiling and make sure they touch the floor—it instantly makes your space look more expensive and glamorous.”
Designing with Identity
At the heart of Tyka’s work is the idea that your space should feel like you—not just a recreation of a TikTok trend.
“I see so many homes that lack personality and individuality. If we can bring your heritage into it—your ancestry, your favorite movie, a place you’ve traveled to—that’s what makes a space actually cool and different.”
That intentionality is especially important as a Black woman leading in a space that has often lacked diverse representation.
“I’ve always loved interior design since I was a kid and didn’t see many people at all that looked like me in the space. So it’s special to be in this position and inspire others. I think we’ve always been tastemakers in beauty, fashion, and design—it’s nice to finally get that recognition.”
The Beyoncé Dream
When asked what celebrity home she’d love to design, her answer was instant.
“Beyoncé. Beyoncé. Beyoncé is the only answer," she exclaimed. "I’d love to do her creative space—where she writes music or records. Somewhere that feeds her energy.”
The Emotional Blueprint
Design isn’t just about what you see—it’s also about how you feel. Tyka urges people to decorate with emotion in mind.
“Ask yourself, how do you want to feel at home? Joyful? Relaxed? Energized? For me, I want to feel peaceful, so I use a lot of closed storage to keep things clutter-free. That helps ease my mind and anxiety.”
As for creative blocks? They’re not even on her mood board.
“I’ve never experienced a creative block. Every project is new, and every person is different. That inspires me to keep pushing the boundaries.”
Design My Space Tyka Pryde is now streaming onBET Her andBET.com. If you’re ready to rethink your space—and your sense of self—Tyka Pryde is the name to know.
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