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A 9-Year Separation Couldn't Stand In The Way Of This Couple's True Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
The way this generation's love life is set up, it doesn't take much for us to be done with one person and quickly onto the next. It's rare that we find two people who love and value each other so much, that no matter the distance, circumstance, or separation between the two, their love prevails everytime single time.
That's why the love story of Ellen Rice and Darnell Chever is a real life fairytale. These soon-to-be newlyweds have literally experienced it all, and are still going strong. When it comes to true love, no divorce, child, or nine-year separation could stand in their way, these college sweethearts were destined to be together since day one. Within the first glimpse of Ellen, Darnell knew he'd one day make her his wife. "I'd marry her," he told his then-roommate after seeing just one picture of her.
The two officially met at a college party and just days after their initial encounter, they were in a full blown relationship. Their love sparked quickly and allowed them to remain a couple for the next six years, experiencing a number of milestones side by side.
However, career changes left the two struggling in a long distance relationship that became too much to bear. After mutually agreeing to separate, the two went on to live their individual lives. Ellen moved on and got married to someone else and Darnell went on to have an adorable baby boy with another woman. But little did they know, destiny would soon bring these two right back together where they belong.
Over the years, Ellen's mother was in a horrific car accident, and while in her hospital bed, she urged her daughter to call Darnell and let him know her condition. Ellen obliged and soon after, Darnell was right by her side. And before they knew it they were back together, in love, and engaged. They got married, July 14, 2018. I guess there is truth to the saying "true love never dies" after all.
Here's their story:
How They Met
Ellen: October 3, 2003, one night while at a college party in Hampton Virginia at "The Legion" – a popular college party spot. I remember being on the dance floor, going off. You know when the crowd surrounds you and starts clapping?! I looked over and noticed this tall, dark and handsome guy in front of the stage. He pointed at me, gesturing for me to come over to him. I went over to him. We talked all night until the morning when he left to go do community service for his fraternity Kappa Alpha Psi. We became an official couple the next week on my birthday weekend.
Darnell: She didn't know this but one night, back in 2002, I was in my dorm room studying. In walks my roommate asking if he could sit his books on my desk for a second while he settled in. I picked up a photo album off the top of the heap and started to leaf through it. That's when it happened. Just like in the movies - fireworks, sirens, explosions, I mean it all happened! I saw a picture of Ellen and some friends. I immediately inquired as to whom she was. To this day, I can't remember what he said, but as I stared deep into the picture I replied, "I'd marry her ASAP." I knew right then and there that if I was given the opportunity, I would make her my wife.
"I knew right then and there that if given the opportunity, I would make her my wife."
First Impressions
Ellen: He seemed like Mr. Cool frat guy standing with his frat boys, but he was intriguing. He had very pretty eyes and dimples, and we talked all night at the party. I admit I snuggled up to him right there in front of the stage. The fact he spotted me specifically in a crowded room really impressed me.
Darnell: I thought, "She is way too beautiful, and classy for this party… let me go rescue her. [At the party] she initially seemed like the personification of everything that I thought I wanted in a woman. I was really wrong because she is so much more than that.
First Dates
Ellen: I remember our first date was on the campus of Hampton University. He walked me along the water. Gave me my birthday gift. It was very romantic.
Darnell: On our first date, I drove to visit her at college, I believe it was right around her birthday. We had been speaking on the phone every day at this point, so I think that we were both eager to see each other in person. With no real plans, we ended up just walking around a fountain.
Breakup to Makeup
Ellen: Once we got together, we stayed together and found ourselves as besties and lovers for six years. All of my friends were his and vice versa, and all of our family became each other's. After six years, I knew I was ready to marry this man and didn't like the distance. I made a decision...to only remain as friends. The next few years of my life had some major ups and downs.
In 2016, my mom was hit by a car which devastated me. While lying in her hospital bed, she asked me to call Darnell and tell him she was in the hospital. I never asked why, I just obliged. I know now it was the Lord. Darnell and I had a brief, but pleasant conversation and didn't talk again for several months. I'm not sure when we got back together, it seemed as though we never parted. We got engaged and bought a new house. Look at God! Now I get to marry my soulmate and best friend 15 years after we first met.
"Now I get to marry my soulmate and best friend 15 years after we first met."
Darnell: When we were 19 and 20 years young, we were inseparable. We immediately decided to become a couple after only a few weeks. We knew after only a few months that we were in love. We comfortably spoke about and made plans about marriage before graduating from college. Our friends became friends of one another, and our families merged into one. Our original plans to get married were halted due to us moving apart. I think she recognized that the distance between us was very stressful, and we decided to take a break. We took a break for a few years...a few very long years. Everyone knew I still loved Ellen and kept her in my heart. I knew then that I did not want to be away from Ellen, but I didn't realize how much until we reconnected. Once she came back, I knew I would make her my wife.
The conversation that we shared [during our reunion] had very few words… We sat there for a moment and enjoyed seeing each other again. And simultaneously opened the conversation with "I miss you!" and "Baby please take me back!"
The One
Ellen: Seeing someone nine years later and still getting the same feelings you had on Day One confirmed it. Plus, momma said call him (laughs). When I saw him and looked into his eyes, we both teared up. It was like we were talking without saying any words at all. In that moment, I realized he was my soulmate. I knew he had to be the one.
Darnell: I knew it the day I met her, and when we took a break from our relationship, every day I thought about how much she was the one for me. I began to see how natural and instinctive we were. In the sense that there are some athletes who weren't always the best but worked hard to succeed and then there are those who were just born with a gift. I believe that Ellen and I were born to be together.
"I believe that Ellen and I were born to be together."
Baggage Claim
Ellen: Step One was forgiveness. We had to forgive each other for choosing to break up instead of staying together. We also had to give each other space to heal from our past situations. We allowed each other to talk honestly to one another about what happened in the past. Remember, we hadn't spoken for years and hadn't seen in each other in nine years. When we got back together we shared our past situations with each other honestly. He allowed me to heal. We also learned to pray together. This time, we pray together and worship more together both in our home and at church. We also have a rule of no yelling in our home. We have been hurt from past relationships that involved yelling. For us, peaceful homes are very important.
Love Lessons
Ellen: My partner helped teach me how to value myself. When we got back together he kept telling me, "Your expectations are low. You deserve more." Then he gave me more. He showed me by loving me.
Darnell: I learned that there are many ways to love yourself just like there are ways to love your significant other, the key is to find ways to re-energize that love.
Common Goals
Ellen: Put God first, put family second. Be patient with one another. Remember to have fun. Partnership is key. Work together.
Darnell: Respect one another. Be fair and understanding and follow God's plan.
Best Advice
Ellen: Love is about patience and giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and be patient to hear and understand their perspective. Love is also resilient. Agape love stands the test of times. Through my divorce and him becoming a single dad, our love stood the test of time. Love is not hurtful. Love doesn't seek to hurt your partner. Love seeks to uplift and encourage your partner.
"Love doesn't seek to hurt your partner. Love seeks to uplift and encourage your partner."
Darnell: Recognize that you are a valuable person with a voice and needs that matter. Love is about imparting those best qualities of you on to your loved one.
For more on their journey follow them @Ellenvincienne and @Dchever. And check out more photos from their engagement session by their photographer Keith Cephus here.
Want more xoNecole stories like this? Check out the related reads below:
My Boyfriend Of 2 Years Proposed To Me & Left Me A Week Later
I Met Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Getting Married
He Pursued Him On Twitter, Now She's The Love Of His Life
Shan Boody & Jared Brady On How They Went From Friends With Benefits To Committed Relationship
Ashley McDonough is a writer and producer in New York City. When she's not busy writing or producing culturally conscious content, she is patiently waiting for Oprah and Stedman to adopt her. Keep up with her journey via social @Ashley_Milani or check out her work on www.AshleyMcDonough.org.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."