This article is in partnership with Xfinity.
Those who have experienced an HBCU homecoming understand the assignment. College students, alumni, and family of an Historically Black College and University gather and partake in the excitement of celebrating the heritage and culture of the school. It's a time of joy, honoring traditions, and for some, reflecting on the good ol' days. Homecoming weekends are spent eating well, laughing plenty, and enjoying the sights; and there is plenty to see, do, and EAT! (Spoiler alert: Sleep is not on the syllabus.)
Ain't no party like an HBCU party! No matter if you're young, seasoned, alumni or a visitor, there is fun to be had all weekend for everyone involved!
Rest Up!
Getty Images
As we just mentioned, you'll want to get plenty of rest in the days prior because there is little to no sleep taking place during Homecoming Week. From the early morning parade, concerts, and late-night parties to hanging out at the local waffle house parking lot for hours on end, you won't want to miss a beat.
Game Up!
This is not a drill. Pro tip: If you don't have a crew living on or near campus already, book your hotel early! Prices can get steep, and they sell out months before the big weekend - the closer your hotel, the more sleep you can get in between parties! Speaking of that crew, you'll want to make sure you travel with fellow HBCU-lovers; people who share your interests and can bring the comedic flavor and go-with-the-flow attitude you need to make the weekend even better.
Step Up!
Bobby Metelus/Getty Images
One cannot adequately do the HBCU experience justice without the mentioning of Greek life - The Divine Nine. Considering the inception, mission, and purpose of one of these Greek organization, you can't help but be in awe! If there's a homecoming step show, put it on your must-do list. You'll surely catch members strolling at the parade or the tailgate. It's Black magic and excellence at its finest! The culture alone that Black Greek organizations bring to HBCUs is nothing short of amazing, especially when you consider graduate chapters' legacy and impact on the Black community.
Band Up!
The Homecoming Game itself is a sight to see, especially if the band is on point! Yes, the football team will be exciting to watch with the abundance of talent on the field, but it's the band and dancers that get the crowd hype. The high-energy showmanship with arrangements of the classics and latest music accompanied by intricate routines from the majorettes and dance team, are the heartbeat of the game.
Post Up!
Getty Images
Last, but certainly not least, is the tailgate experience. Alumni groups, organizations like fraternities and sororities, and residents of the town pay a fee to rent a space and put up a large tent or set up their trailer for entertainment purposes. Once settled in, the culinary adventures begin. The scent of charcoal and fried foods carries you down a musical path of tunes as DJs do their thing. This can very well be an all-day affair if you find a tent to post under. No exaggeration, it's like a reunion of thousands of cousins. Your entertainment options are endless so be sure to take it all in so you can enjoy every minute!
Hang Up!
*Due to the recent surges of COVID-19 cases, select HBCU homecoming sanctioned events have been rescheduled or are TBD. If this is impacting your school or if you just feel more comfortable staying home, you can still have the best time. Get dressed up, host a virtual watch party, or invite your quarantine crew over for a day filled with what homecoming is really all about: football, family and food.
Remember, playing it safe has its perks too!
Featured image by Getty Images
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
But if there’s one skincare ingredient that can deliver an all-in-one solution to most skincare concerns, it’s retinol.
What Is Retinol?
As the darling of the skincare space, retinol is a vitamin-A derivative that is used to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improve skin texture, increase collagen production, and enhance cell turnover, leading to smoother and more youthful-looking skin.
How Does Retinol Work?
Retinol, which is commonly found in creams, serums, and other skincare formulations, works in several ways that benefit the skin. It promotes cellular turnover by encouraging the removal of old skin cells and the production of new, healthier ones, improving skin texture and reducing fine lines. Additionally, retinol stimulates collagen production, which combats wrinkled skin and helps to unclog pores, making it an effective ingredient to use against acne and enlarged pores.
Because the body can not produce vitamin A on its own, it needs to be provided through dietary intake and topical application to the skin via skincare products.
How To Start Using Retinol
Because retinol is an active skincare ingredient, it’s important to start adding it into your skincare routine gradually and taking note of your skin’s sensitivity and how your skin responds to it. If you're new to retinol, it's advised to begin with a lower concentration (at least 0.25% retinol) and allow your skin to acclimate by starting once a week or every other night.
As your skin becomes more accustomed to retinol over time, you can then gradually increase the frequency. After a few weeks, you may be able to use it every night, but some people may find that using it every other night or a few times a week is sufficient.
Always listen to your skin and pay close attention to how your skin reacts to the usage of retinol. Experiencing dryness, redness, flaking, or irritation while using retinol is normal, but it could be a sign that you may be using retinol too often or at too high a concentration. While it can be frustrating to go through the trial-and-error phase of using retinol, adjusting the frequency of use or switching to a milder formulation can yield the best results while minimizing potential side effects.
And, of course, always use sunscreen.
To get you started on your retinol journey, here are some of the best beginner-friendly retinol serums and creams to try out for yourself:
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Renata Angerami/Getty Images
