HBCU Homecoming Essentials: 5 Pro Tips For The Big Day
This article is in partnership with Xfinity.
Those who have experienced an HBCU homecoming understand the assignment. College students, alumni, and family of an Historically Black College and University gather and partake in the excitement of celebrating the heritage and culture of the school. It's a time of joy, honoring traditions, and for some, reflecting on the good ol' days. Homecoming weekends are spent eating well, laughing plenty, and enjoying the sights; and there is plenty to see, do, and EAT! (Spoiler alert: Sleep is not on the syllabus.)
Ain't no party like an HBCU party! No matter if you're young, seasoned, alumni or a visitor, there is fun to be had all weekend for everyone involved!
Rest Up!
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As we just mentioned, you'll want to get plenty of rest in the days prior because there is little to no sleep taking place during Homecoming Week. From the early morning parade, concerts, and late-night parties to hanging out at the local waffle house parking lot for hours on end, you won't want to miss a beat.
Game Up!
This is not a drill. Pro tip: If you don't have a crew living on or near campus already, book your hotel early! Prices can get steep, and they sell out months before the big weekend - the closer your hotel, the more sleep you can get in between parties! Speaking of that crew, you'll want to make sure you travel with fellow HBCU-lovers; people who share your interests and can bring the comedic flavor and go-with-the-flow attitude you need to make the weekend even better.
Step Up!
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One cannot adequately do the HBCU experience justice without the mentioning of Greek life - The Divine Nine. Considering the inception, mission, and purpose of one of these Greek organization, you can't help but be in awe! If there's a homecoming step show, put it on your must-do list. You'll surely catch members strolling at the parade or the tailgate. It's Black magic and excellence at its finest! The culture alone that Black Greek organizations bring to HBCUs is nothing short of amazing, especially when you consider graduate chapters' legacy and impact on the Black community.
Band Up!
The Homecoming Game itself is a sight to see, especially if the band is on point! Yes, the football team will be exciting to watch with the abundance of talent on the field, but it's the band and dancers that get the crowd hype. The high-energy showmanship with arrangements of the classics and latest music accompanied by intricate routines from the majorettes and dance team, are the heartbeat of the game.
Post Up!
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Last, but certainly not least, is the tailgate experience. Alumni groups, organizations like fraternities and sororities, and residents of the town pay a fee to rent a space and put up a large tent or set up their trailer for entertainment purposes. Once settled in, the culinary adventures begin. The scent of charcoal and fried foods carries you down a musical path of tunes as DJs do their thing. This can very well be an all-day affair if you find a tent to post under. No exaggeration, it's like a reunion of thousands of cousins. Your entertainment options are endless so be sure to take it all in so you can enjoy every minute!
Hang Up!
*Due to the recent surges of COVID-19 cases, select HBCU homecoming sanctioned events have been rescheduled or are TBD. If this is impacting your school or if you just feel more comfortable staying home, you can still have the best time. Get dressed up, host a virtual watch party, or invite your quarantine crew over for a day filled with what homecoming is really all about: football, family and food.
Remember, playing it safe has its perks too!
Featured image by Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Let’s face it, gentle parenting gets a bad rap. Many of us became familiar with the term "gentle parenting" during the pandemic, and since then we’ve seen an uptick in social media creators showcasing examples of gentle parenting online. Despite their best efforts, however, there still remains misunderstanding and confusion about what gentle parenting actually is. In fact, if you ask the average parent, particularly parents of color, they will almost unanimously describe it as ineffective, permissive, and even dangerous.
Some teachers have even come out to declare that gentle parenting is causing behavioral problems in school.
These suppositions all operate under the premise that gentle parenting lacks structure and discipline. They believe that the parents who adhere to this parenting philosophy eschew maintaining any sort of authority in their household in favor of being their child’s friend.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith, the psychologist and parenting expert who is credited with introducing the idea of gentle parenting describes it as parenting that "focuses on building connection, having empathy for what children are feeling and mindful discipline, with a focus on teaching and guiding, and setting up age-appropriate boundaries and limits."
What’s often overlooked, however, is that gentle parenting falls under the umbrella of authoritative parenting:
According to the American Psychology Association, authoritative parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet set firm limits for their children. Current and past research overwhelmingly tells us that authoritative parents are more likely to raise children who are confident, emotionally secure, and academically successful.
Why Ockwell-Smith opted to rebrand an existing parenting philosophy isn’t entirely clear, but what is clear is that maintaining authority and boundaries are core tenets of gentle parenting.
Striking a balance between gentleness and authority can sometimes feel like navigating a tightrope, though. On one hand, we want to nurture our children with empathy and understanding, while on the other, we need to instill discipline and respect. And despite popular and ill-informed opinions, you can be and still are an authority figure in your household if you are a gentle parent.
Without further adieu, here are five practical ways you can embrace gentle parenting without sacrificing your sense of authority:
1. Setting Clear Expectations:
Authority doesn't have to come in the form of harsh demands or rigid rules. In fact, setting clear expectations can be one of the most effective ways to establish authority while remaining gentle.
Children thrive on structure and predictability, so outlining expectations helps them understand what's expected of them. However, it's crucial to communicate these expectations in a calm and respectful manner.
Instead of barking orders, try having a conversation with your child about what behavior is acceptable and why. By involving them in the process and explaining the reasoning behind your expectations, you not only foster a sense of understanding but also demonstrate your authority in a gentle way.
2. Using Positive Reinforcement:
While consequences for misbehavior are necessary, positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool for gentle parenting. Instead of solely focusing on what your child is doing wrong, make a conscious effort to acknowledge their positive behavior. This not only boosts their self-esteem but also reinforces the behaviors you want to see more of. It can be as simple as giving a "thank you" for cleaning up their toys. Positive reinforcement creates a nurturing environment while still upholding your authority as a parent.
3. Practicing Active Listening:
Effective communication is key to any relationship, including the one between parent and child. Practicing active listening is a fundamental aspect of gentle parenting that allows you to connect with your child on a deeper level.
Instead of dismissing their feelings or rushing to provide solutions, take the time to truly listen to what they have to say.
Validate their emotions, even if you don't necessarily agree with them, and show empathy towards their experiences. By demonstrating that you value their thoughts and feelings, you build a foundation of trust and respect that strengthens your authority in a gentle way.
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4. Offering Choices and Empowerment:
Giving your child a sense of autonomy and control can go a long way in fostering a positive parent-child relationship. Instead of always dictating what they should do, offer them choices whenever possible. This not only empowers them to make decisions for themselves but also teaches them valuable problem-solving skills. Of course, the choices should be age-appropriate and within the boundaries of your expectations as a parent.
By allowing your child to have a say in certain matters, you demonstrate that you trust and respect them, which in turn reinforces your authority in a gentle manner.
5. Leading by Example:
Perhaps the most powerful way to balance gentleness and authority is by leading by example. Children are incredibly perceptive and often mimic the behaviors they see in adults. Therefore, it's essential to model the traits and values you want to instill in your child.
Whether it's practicing patience, showing empathy towards others, or handling conflicts peacefully, your actions speak volumes.
By embodying the principles of gentle parenting in your own behavior, you not only reinforce your authority but also inspire your child to follow suit.
Gentle parenting is not synonymous with permissiveness or a lack of authority. By incorporating these five practical strategies into your parenting approach, you can cultivate a nurturing and respectful relationship with your child while still maintaining your sense of authority.
Remember, it's not about being a dictator or a pushover—it's about finding that delicate balance between empathy and discipline that ultimately fosters a loving and harmonious parent-child bond.
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