Question: While you’re (hopefully) in the midst of planning for some kind of summer vacation, some outdoor activities, and/or some creative summer-themed dates, what’s your plan for your hands and your feet? I mean, they’re gonna be front and center too — and you’d be amazed how many people have told me over the years that something they notice first on someone is the condition of both; that folks who take care of their hands and feet send the message that self-care is a priority to them.
I would be inclined to totally agree. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to share a few tips on things that you can do to take extra good care of your hands and feet this summer. That way, you’ll feel great from hand to toe (get it) while giving people another reason to do a double take whenever you come around (hmph…as if you needed one).
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HANDS: A Manicure
I need to get more manicures. Back before the pandemic, I was religious about it; however, after going over a year without getting my nails professionally done, it started to be less of a priority. In some ways, it shows because my cuticles have a way of becoming dry which can, in turn, make them raggedy as hell. Plus, although I do okay when it comes to shaping my nails (I like to keep them natural and low), there really is nothing like a professional shaping them. Professional manicures can handle all of this, plus they give you an expert’s touch when it comes to cleaning your nails, moisturizing your hands, and polishing them perfectly.
So, even if you can’t afford a professional mani every month, at least treat yourself to a couple of ‘em before the summer ends (which is technically September 23rd this year; it’s never Labor Day Weekend). If you want to do some upkeep in between your manicure appointments, a YouTube video that can help you out is located here.
FEET: A Pedicure
On the flip side, something that I never let up on is a professional pedicure, although my nail tech has been letting me have it lately for not giving my toes a break when it comes to constantly having polish on them (because that can weaken nails over time if you’re not careful; it’s a good idea to take breaks for a couple of months once a year).
The main reason why I like professional pedicures is it gives me a chance to relax and treat myself, although some other benefits are a pedicure prevents ingrown toenails, keeps my heels nice and smooth, gets calluses off of the sides of my baby toes and exfoliates my legs and feet. Some other bonuses are pedicures can help to increase blood circulation and reduce stress levels, not to mention, your feet will look so much better in your flip-flops and sandals.
Again, even if you can’t go once a month, try to schedule at least one appointment this summer. And, as I did with the manicures, a YouTube video for how to perform a pretty stellar pedicure from the comfort and convenience of your own home is located here.
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HANDS: An Olive Oil Soak
Remember how I mentioned that the main cause of bad cuticles is dryness? Something that can prevent your cuticles from looking crazy while also making sure that your hands are super soft is to treat your hand to an oil soak. My personal favorite is extra-virgin olive oil. Why should you go the “extra” route? Because that kind of oil is the least processed which means you will receive the most antioxidants and nutrients from the oil, including fatty acids and vitamin E.
Your best bet would be to pour some warm oil (you can zap some in the microwave for about 10 seconds) into a couple of bowls and soak your clean hands in them for 15-20 minutes before blotting them dry with a microfiber towel. However, another approach would be to rub some of the oil onto your hands, making sure to focus on your nails and cuticles and then wrapping them up in either some Saran Wrap or a pair of moisturizing gloves (more on those in a bit) for the amount of time that it would take to watch a 30-minute sitcom.
Whichever route you take, it will be well worth the investment. Your hands will instantly feel amazing and look younger too.
FEET: A Listerine Soak
If you don’t already own a foot spa/tub, let this inspire you to purchase one. And if you’ve only thought that a bottle of Listerine would work on your mouth, let this totally broaden your perspective. Although there is no official scientific data to support this claim, there are many people who sing the praises of using Listerine (specifically) as a foot soak. Why? Well, due to the potent antibacterial, antioxidant, and antifungal properties that it contains, they say that soaking their feet in the solution helps to remove calluses, cracked heels, and even athlete’s foot.
I have tried this method a couple of times, and I will say that it made using a pumice stone on my heels a helluva lot easier to do. Plus, the menthol from the mouthwash feels really invigorating. A couple of YouTubers who are not only fans of this soak but can also walk you through some DIY tips are located here and here.
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HANDS: Tea Tree Oil
If you’re looking for an essential oil that is potent when it comes to antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, antiviral, and antifungal properties, you’re not gonna get much better than tea tree oil, chile. Personally, I use it as a spot treatment for period pimples (it works like a charm!), although it also soothes the scalp if it’s irritated by dandruff or dry skin. What makes tea tree oil beneficial for your hands is it relieves itchiness, soothes irritation that may be associated with eczema or psoriasis, speeds up the healing process of a cut, wound, fungal infection, or bug bite, and can help to prevent dry skin too. It also is a great ingredient for DIY hand sanitizer.
FEET: White Vinegar
If you’re used to using white vinegar to clean your mirrors or wash your fabrics, it might surprise you to know that it’s also good for your skin, including your feet. The antifungal and antibacterial properties in white vinegar will fight the bacteria that cause acne, can keep the pH levels in your skin balanced, soften the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, be used as a toner, and can soothe your legs after shaving them.
What makes them a wonderful addition to your feet is it helps to remove warts, get rid of foot odor and heal dry feet too. All you need to do is add one-part white vinegar to two parts warm water and let them soak for 15 minutes. Oh, and if you’re worried about the scent, the smell typically fades once the solution dries. Also, you can add some of your favorite essential oil to the soak to make the smell of the vinegar less potent.
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HANDS: Glass Nail File
Even though I will die on the hill that no one can shape nails quite like professional nail techs can (especially when it comes to doing it in a shorter amount of time), I will say that something that has helped me to shape mine better (when I’m in a pinch) is a glass nail file.
What makes them better than traditional ones? A few things, actually. Glass nail files are easy to clean and sterilize, last longer, are gentle on fragile or brittle nails, and, perhaps the best part is, they work on both natural as well as acrylic nails. Amazon has a myriad of affordable ones to choose from here.
FEET: Pumice Stone or Foot Scraper
If it seems like you can’t get rid of rough calluses or dead skin build-up no matter how much you try, I’d first try a pumice stone on skin that has been soaked in some warm water for 10 minutes or so. If that doesn’t work, take things up a notch and get yourself a foot scraper. Long story short, they are the ultimate kind of foot exfoliator. That’s because they are specifically designed to get rid of rough skin.
Just make sure that you go with one that works well on wet and dry skin and that you don’t overdo it (once a week should be more than enough). The key is to remove dead skin, not rub all of your skin off. For this one, I’m gonna shout out a particular kind of scraper; it’s called the Colossal Innovative Nano Glass Callus Remover Foot File. It’s affordable, effective, and safe, as well as waterproof. You’re welcome. #wink
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HANDS: DIY Scrub
Something that comes with aging is the fact that our skin’s cell turnover slows down quite a bit. What that boils down to is it’s easier for dead skin cells to accumulate and make our skin look dry and dull. That’s just one of the billions of reasons why it’s a good idea to exfoliate— especially your hands because they have a way of accumulating dirt, gunk, and dead skin cells like no other.
A really simple yet mad effective DIY hand scrub consists of ½ cup of brown sugar, one tablespoon of coconut oil, one teaspoon of honey, and a half teaspoon of sea salt. Wash your hands, leave them damp, apply the scrub, massage gently for 1-2 minutes, then rinse with first warm and then cool/cold (to seal up your pores) water. If you do this 2-3 times a week, your hands will both look and feel absolutely wonderful.
FEET: DIY Peel
I don’t know how or why YouTube ended up putting chemical peels into my feed but have mercy. There is one, in particular (here) that I watched that low-key freaked me out. They look like they work, but I don’t think I have nearly the patience to wait for the process to end (kudos to sis who did!).
I will say that the final results did remind me that a foot peel can be a good idea too. They are another skincare option that will help to remove calluses, get rid of dead skin, and keep your heels from almost starting fires in your bed at night — and yes, you can do these at home.
From what I’ve read, it takes like a week to get the full results that you’re after, so you probably should avoid doing this right before taking a trip and, instead, over a long weekend or something. Anyway, Glamour has a list of great foot peel options here, and Byrdie has its own list going on here.
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HANDS: Moisturizing Gloves
If you want your hands to be uber-soft and smooth, you definitely need to invest in a couple of moisturizing gloves. The main purpose that they serve is to help to keep moisturizer, oil, sunscreen, or whatever you’re using to pamper your hands on for much longer than you would without them. Some other perks include the fact that they help to reduce skin irritation, are comfortable to sleep in, and are big-time effective at providing extra hydration to your hands and nails. Byrdie has a list of different ones, along with the pros and cons of each, that you can check out here.
FEET: Silicone Socks
I must admit that I’m actually preaching to the choir when it comes to the importance of owning a pair of silicone socks. If you want to prevent chaffing, heal cracked heels, reduce moisture (which can lead to fungal growth and infections if you’re not careful), and even keep blisters from becoming an issue, wearing silicone socks in your house is a smart move to make. Something else that’s (pardon the pun) cool about them is since they are waterproof, you can use them all year long, especially if you want something to provide a barrier for your boots or ski gear during the wintertime.
All you’ve got to do is wash your feet, dry them, apply your foot gel or moisturizer of choice, and put the socks on. That’s it. Your feet will be so thankful that you did (check out some of Amazon’s silicone sock collection here).
HANDS AND FEET: Sunscreen
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One of the biggest mistakes that our people tend to make is not using sunscreen. For one thing, everyone is susceptible to skin cancer, plus sunscreen helps to prevent things like hyperpigmentation and premature aging. And as far as your hands and feet go, because they both tend to be exposed to damaging UV rays longer than the other parts of your body, you definitely need to tend to them in this manner.
As far as narrowing down a sunscreen that will complement you best, Oprah Daily did you a solid by publishing “The 19 Best Sunscreens for Dark Skin Tones That Don't Leave a White Cast.” Make the time to skim the list.
HANDS AND FEET: Top Coat Every 2-3 Days
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Since I am pretty hard on my feet (mostly because I walk around barefoot whenever I’m home and my floors are hardwood), sometimes the polish on my big toe will chip in between pedi appointments. When I go to get a fresh coat, my nail tech will always say that she needs to put a new top coat on all of my toes so that they will shine as much as the polish on my big toe does.
I have actually adapted that practice as an at-home nail-refreshing tip, period. Yep, if you want your manis and pedis to look fresher and last longer, applying a new layer of top coat a couple of times a week should do the trick for you.
HANDS AND FEET: Fruit Salad
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Hydration is something that your body always needs, yet all the more during the summer season — your hands and feet included. That said, some fruits that are in season right now include watermelon, strawberries, peaches, blackberries, mangoes, cherries, papaya, cantaloupe, honeydew, and grapefruit. Since many of them are easily made up of at least 85 percent water, along with other nutrients, how could you go wrong with enjoying a fresh fruit salad at least a couple of times a week? It’s a deliciously healthy way to love on your hands and feet all summer long. Enjoy!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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We spoke to NYC-based experience curator and owner of POP! by Yaz, Yasmin “Yaz” Quiles, to help guide first-timers. According to Yasmin, an experience curator is “someone who not only focuses on an actual event but the entire experience, and that can mean anything from the first point of contact, things from an invitation, a website, all the way to the end and after effects.”
If you are hosting the holidays in your home, it is important to touch on all of these points so that your guests can have an experience to remember. Here are the steps to successfully host family and friends for the holidays.
1.Plan and Organize:
Before people start showing up to your house, you must plan out what you need and for how many people. It's also a great time to be creative. “The first part is the dream part because it’s the fun part. What do I envision my event to look like? What do I want my people to feel when they come to my space? Ask all of the questions for the first point of contact,” says Yasmin. “What kind of invitation [am I using?] Who am I inviting? What kind of music are we listening to? The food. So, you start thinking about what the vision is, and then after the dreaming, you organize your thoughts.”
That includes putting together a budget. “See what you have access to, what you need help with, and what you may need to outsource,” she advises. Meaning, this is the time to decide if you and your family will be cooking or if everyone will chip in to get dinner catered.
2.Repurpose Your Items:
Photo courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
As you continue to plan and organize, it's important to take stock of what you already have at home. This can also help you stay within budget. If you have a limited budget then start thinking about how to utilize what you already have in a innovative way.
“I also like to start with inventory. What [are] items in your house that you can use? That way you can determine what it is that you have to get,” she suggests. “I feel like a lot of people always put together a list and it's always 'buy, buy, buy, buy,' versus ‘oh, wait a minute, I actually do have some things that I can utilize and I can just use it in a different way.’”
For example, “Utilizing a console as a small bar area or creating fake fireplaces. I think there are ways to use items in your space so that you don’t have to continue to fill it up with new things.”
3.Make Your Guests Feel Like They Are at Home:
Ever heard the saying, "mi casa es su casa?" You want your space to make guests feel like a home away from home and having a cozy place to sleep plays a major part in that. Be realistic about how many people you can fit comfortably in your home. “Figure out how much space you have in your house and how many people you can truly accommodate,” she says. “What that means is even if you have a two-bedroom apartment, what are some creative ways you can create some space for them? Is it an air mattress or is it getting a hotel that is close to you; Airbnb's?”
You also want to provide your guests with the necessary accouterments and the gift of convenience. If you have certain rituals in your home, you want to make sure your guests can also participate in them. “What I love to do with my guests, I always love to make them feel like they're at home even when they are not, so I like to replicate the things I love in a hotel room. In our house we take off our shoes so we always have disposable slippers here that people can slide on or brand new socks in a basket,” she explains. “That way they can feel immediately comfortable the moment they pass the threshold in your house."
"And in the bathroom or if there’s a powder room, I like to put together a little welcome basket and it can be something as simple as here’s your towel, here’s your washcloth, all the little toiletries you may need," she adds. "I give them their own little stash, that way they don’t feel like they’re burdening me by asking, 'oh, do you have q-tips' or whatever it is. It’s all already set up there for them and it makes them feel so welcome and thought of.”
4.Food and Entertainment:
Photo courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
Along with welcome baskets, the Afro-Latina entrepreneur also enjoys putting lists together with a few of her recommendations. Think, welcome lists you receive at hotels and Airbnb. “I’ll put together a short list of my favorite restaurants, my favorite channels or shows to watch that way they can be entertained while I’m doing other things,” she says.
The holidays involve a lot of cooking and so going out to eat may not be an option. But neither is eating mac and cheese, collard greens, and ham all day, every day. So, it's best to provide options for your guests. “When people go to other people’s homes, they really want the house experience so eating out is great, it’s fine, but I think it really makes people happy when immediately there at home at your house," explains Yasmin.
"What I like to do is immediately have an assortment of snacks available and that means everything from the folks that are on a diet to folks who want to indulge and have a little bit of everything. That way we have a good selection. And [I like to have] things that can be left out for a couple of days as well so I’m thinking pre-packaged items that way [they can] 'grab and go.'”
5.Activities:
When having guests stay over for a few days, you should want to do more than just stay in and look at each other the whole time. Similarly to the way Yasmin advises providing a list of recommendations for eating out and indoor entertainment for guests, she suggests providing guests with a list of favorite stores or favorite markets with recommendations of what to buy.
This can also be a great time to show your guests where you live by going on walks or a scenic drive. "A lot of times these holiday celebrations happen when we are in the midst of planning and doing things and doing all the last-minute errands. Another thing I like to do is photo albums, people love photo albums.”
Yasmin recommends having a physical photo album that you and your guests can look through or a digital frame such as Aura Frames that holds photos online that you can continue to add to.
6.Music:
What’s left is providing the ambiance. One of the many ways that people do this is by having a playlist. Creating a playlist is fun but can also be time-consuming. Not only do you have to add your auntie's favorite Christmas song to the playlist but you may also want to take a trip down memory lane with your siblings and jam to a throwback from your childhood. Yasmin reveals a solution, which she refers to as an “elevated” experience.
“You can hire a DJ. They can do a set on Twitch,” Yasmin says. “There’s a chatroom function so you can put it on your TV, so all the guests who are there can listen to the music live but if there are guests who can’t make it for whatever reason, they can tune in and participate via the chat.”
The experience curator also suggests having a quiet space for those who are more introverted or need a break from the loud music and crowd.
7.The Breakdown:
Whether you and your family decide to cook together or hire a caterer, cleaning up after a big event is always a buzz kill. Yasmin recommends outsourcing help as a way to enjoy yourself and not worry about the aftermath. “Clean up can be a big hassle. It is okay to get a cleaning team. It is okay to hire a bartender. It is okay to hire anybody who can make your job easier,” she assures.
“The point of these events really is to connect and I feel we get so caught up in the doing that we forget that and the party ends and we’re like, ‘Dang, I didn’t get to have a conversation with my best girlfriend who I haven’t seen in six months.’ Give yourself permission to outsource so that you can have a good time.”
For more information about Yasmin, you can visit her website at yazquiles.com and follow her on Instagram @popbyyaz.
Feature image courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
Originally published on December 13, 2022