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City Girls Golf Empowers Women Of Color On And Off The Golf Course
What started off as a hobby for Sierra, the founder of City Girls Golf, has transformed into a movement for women in the Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia (DMV) area. “I came up with the idea of City Girls Golf a year ago. I was learning how to play golf, taking lessons, and going to tournaments in different states to learn the game.” Sierra continued, “I noticed that I didn’t see a lot of women involved, and it made my journey in golf a lot harder because I didn’t have a community of women like me to be social with or practice golf with,” shared Sierra.
Taking matters into her own hands, she founded City Girls Golf with the purpose of creating opportunities for women of color to not only learn how to play golf but to also get involved in the golfing industry as a whole.
“The first event we ever had was with a group of my friends. We did a golf clinic, and I created a TikTok about it, which gained over 60K views,” she said. “We had so many ladies sharing interest in attending the next event, and now we’re hosting events every week.”
Today, the organization has an engaged following on Instagram of 39K followers, which is a testament to the necessity for communities like this. What makes this organization so special and crucial today is the access to resources and the supportive community for Black women to explore their talents in the sport of golf.
Typically, when people think of golf, there’s two things that may come to mind: 1) Tiger Woods and 2) How expensive the sport is, which is why golf is recognized as “a rich man’s sport.” According to Forbes.com, “77% of golfers are men, and golf courses that allow women often restrict the days and times when women can play, or have separate holes for women.” From the attire to the equipment, someone who’s looking to get involved in golf may have to consider spending “$10,000, if not upwards of $15,000, or $20,000 per year if you decide to pay for everything”, according to Stitch Golf.
Photo by Washington Talent Photographers
As the #1 community for female beginner golfers, City Girls Golf is breaking barriers in golf one swing at a time by making the sport affordable. Most of their events cost about $65 per person for a one-hour and 30-minute session, and equipment is provided. Just come cute in your pink and white and ready to play!
“We’re based in the DMV area. However, I see the participation of women of color in golf all over the nation. I love that City Girls Golf is playing a key role in showing representation, inspiring women all over to get involved and to not be scared just because you’re a beginner. We’re all about making it fun!” In a candid conversation, Sierra chatted with xoNecoleto discuss the journey of growing City Girls Golf, the impact it’s had on Black women, and how there is power in seeing pink on the golf course.
xoNecole: How did you decide the name City Girls Golf?
Sierra: While growing up in New York City, I didn’t see golf courses in my neighborhood until I moved to the suburbs. The golf scene is huge in the suburbs. In the city, you don’t really see many golf courses or opportunities to learn about the sport. The name “City Girls Golf” came about to empower women who lived in the inner cities to play. That’s why we strategically named the organization City Girls Golf, so women who live in the city can be exposed to the sport and can get involved.
xoN: What is the purpose and power behind having more women in golf today?
S: It’s great for networking, representation, and breaking barriers. We’ve participated in numerous tournaments, and people still come up to us, sharing how shocked they are to see so many young women of color playing golf. The representation is still not present in the golf industry, which is why I prioritize sharing what City Girls Golf is doing on social media. We’re very aggressive with our marketing and post content to normalize it. We’re constantly sharing content of women of color playing golf, getting involved in the sport, having fun, and looking pretty in our outfits. We’re always posting to continue spreading the message and to gain respect in such a male-dominated industry.
Photo by Washington Talent Photographers
xoN: What are the core values of City Girls Golf?
S: Authenticity. We want everyone to show up as their authentic self. A lot of times, golfers think they have make a certain type of money, act a certain way, and look a certain way, but that’s not always the case. We believe everyone can show up as their authentic self.
Women of color. All of our events are catered predominantly to women of color, and we curate spaces for women of color to join and learn golf.
Community. We believe in wearing pink and white to represent City Girls Golf. When all the girls wear pink and white, it shows we’re unified, one community and one team. Also, the color pink symbolizes strength, femininity, and this is needed more in the golf industry.
Photo by Washington Talent Photographers
xoN: How do you think playing golf translates into your confidence as a woman in your day to day?
S: Golf is already a challenging sport. As a woman in a predominantly white male industry and playing a sport, I’ve never seen any of my family members or anyone in my social circle play, I'm already challenging the system. Learning golf, in general, takes a lot of confidence because, in the beginning, you suck. It’s a hard sport and extremely humbling because you see everyone else hitting the ball, but you can barely get the basics down. However, it does take someone with a lot of confidence to stay persistent in learning and persevering until you get better. Personally, playing golf has boosted my confidence. It helps me in different aspects of my life, such as talking to anyone and feeling comfortable in different rooms.
To get involved with City Girls Golf’s follow them on Instagram and head to their website to sign up for their email list to know about upcoming events. To become a sponsor and further support their mission, send your information to citygirlsgolf@citygirlsgolf.org.
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Feature image by Ashley Jean Creative
Asha, meaning "full of life," was born and raised in New York City. Growing up with a big family and connecting with diverse people throughout life inspired Asha to take her communication skills to greater heights. After graduating with a Bachelor's in Mass Communications and a Master's in Business Administration, she aspires to write about topics relevant to the growth of young Black women. Aside from writing, Asha finds fulfillment in keeping up with fashion trends, indulging in self-care, attending social events, and exploring new activities with family and friends.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Whenever I hear the church say something along the lines of, “I know God will give me [such and such] because he said that he will grant me the desires of my heart,” the first thing that comes to my mind is how unfortunate it is that church culture tends to make an Olympic sport out of editing Scripture to its own liking.
In this particular case, that resolve comes from Psalm 37:4 (NKJV); however, the entire verse says “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Yeah, do the first part and then the second portion follows. Secondly, Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us that “the heart is deceitful;” that’s because our heart is the “center of our emotions” — and emotions change all of the time.
So…if our feelings tend to lean into being fickle, why would God give us whatever our feelings want at any given time? Sounds pretty…unstable and unreliable if you ask me — and why would God cosign on anything that is like that? Want one more? James 4:3 (NKJV) states, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures” — uh-huh…that one is pretty self-explanatory.
Okay, so why the mini-sermon today? I’m just laying down some groundwork to consider as we dive into something that has been pretty popular as of late: the dating delusion calculator.
If you’re not familiar, it’s an online calculator that you can use to put in some basic things that you want in a mate to see what the probability is of you being linked to an individual who perfectly fits the bill. For instance, say that you desire a Black Christian man who’s between 30 and 40, has a bachelor’s degree, has no kids, is between 5’10” and 6’1”, isn’t obese, and makes around $100,000 annually. According to the calendar, the percentage of men who fit those criteria in the US? You ready (you’re not…LOL): that’s 0.00154% or 2,541 of 164,977,341 American men. Chile…CHILE.
Now, back to the God points, if you do believe in Him, your faith can definitely make great things happen. However, a Scripture that I like a lot is the Message Version of Ecclesiastes 7:18: “It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it” — and the reality is sometimes what we call “standards,” if some hardcore facts and truth aren’t added in, they could lean into becoming semi-serious delusions if we’re all not careful.
Yeah, this isn’t one of those fairy tale kinds of pieces yet, if you’ve been rocking with me on this platform for a while, you know I’m not big on those anyway. This is more like a dose of reality; if you’re big on that, then keep reading. It could be the reality check that your dating life actually needs.
The Difference Between Standards and Delusion
I can’t even count how many times I’ve seen a woman on Instagram or TikTok talk about all of these things that she wants in a man, all the while claiming that they are “standards,” when actually, they sound more like unrealistic expectations or delusional thinking. Now, just so this all makes sense, let me define “standard” and “delusion” before expounding further:
Standard: a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment; an average or normal requirement, quality, quantity, level, grade, etc.; those morals, ethics, habits, etc., established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable
Delusion: a false belief or opinion; a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact.
So in order to really illustrate my point, let’s go with something on the physical tip first. Words cannot express how much I hear women say that they want a man who is at least 6’ tall, all the while calling it a “standard.” Based on what a standard actually is, how are you able to judge someone’s character or make a moral assessment about them based on their height alone? I mean, isn’t that what y’all try and push down men’s throats when it comes to women and their weight? And the thing is, height can’t be changed and isn’t a potential health risk. Know what else? Reportedly,only 15 percent of men in this country are 6’ or over.
Believe you me, I like a tall glass of chocolate oat milk (LOL) as much as the next woman. I’ll also say that most of the guys I’ve been with, on any level, have “scratched that itch” as far as 6’ and over goes. Know what else I’ll say? Tall in stature absolutely doesn’t mean tall in character, so to call height a standard when it’s really more like a preference is already semi-problematic if you’re looking for a good man. However, where it really gets tricky is if you will push a good person, someone who checks off all of your other boxes, aside simply because they are 5’9” in height. My dear, to move like that is delusional thinking — it is literally a false belief that you should overlook who is right in front of you (a fact) simply because they are a couple of inches shorter than you would like (a preference).
Let’s move beyond the physical. Say that you want a man who makes six figures. First of all, since equality is shouted out on the regular in these media streets, is that what you clear after taxes? What’s your own credit score? How much money do you have up in your savings account? Have you even thought about why 'six figures' matters so much? Could it be because you’ve allowed the media (especially social media) to program you into thinking that it’s the only way a man can be a good provider?
Whatever the reason may be, if you call a six-figure earner your standard when you’re not that yourself, couldn’t it be argued that you are a bit on the delusional side? I mean, because, real talk, the facts are that most men reach their peak earning years in their early 50s (check that outhere andhere), andonly 18 percent of individuals earn more than six figures; not only that, but those who do make that kind of money (unless it’s high six-figures) tend to live paycheck-to-paycheck just like everyone else.Not only that but the reality is Black men in America who are between 40-49 earn $41,600 (on average) while Black men in America between 50-59 earn around $51,000. If you’re going to bring facts and stats into the mix, the truth of the matter is it’s delusional for every woman to think that she’s going to get a six-figure earner and even more delusional to require what she, herself, is not.
If you put both examples (height and earnings) together, a STANDARD says that you want to be with someone who you are attracted to and who will be a consistent provider of the things that you need. DELUSION says, “I’m not even all of the things that I want yet in spite of what reality says, I’m going to ignore people who have 80 percent of what I’m looking for because I want a Prince Charming [who also isn’t real] to fall into my lap.”
Honestly, as triggering as the dating delusion calendar may be for a lot of people, that’s basically what it’s saying: that folks are coming up with a wish list like kids do for Christmas, believing that they can have it all — whether it even really makes a lot of sense or is rooted in reality or not. And then folks have the nerve to think that if they do factor reality into it all, somehow, they are settling. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Settling for less shouldn’t be about shallow things. Settling for less should be about convincing yourself that shallow things matter more than having a solid man who profoundly cares about you and who complements your life. Straight up.
Flexibility: The Key to Handling the Dating Game
So, what are you saying, Shellie? That I should marry some tiny guy who’s broke because that’s realistic? Listen, if that is what you choose to get out of ALL that I just said, then you are indeed choosing to do that. No, my points are as follows:
Make sure that you know the difference between a standard and a preference. Then make sure that your standards come before your preferences. If you meet an awesome man who adores you and is on the same page as you are as far as the future goes, to give him up for shallow reasons like he’s not 6’3” or making $125,000 a year is a delusional form of thinking. You already know what the stats say about finding that kind of guy (who is single); not only that but what do you expect to be the shelf life of a shallow set of desires? Ask some divorced folks you know who are willing to admit that they didn’t heed this kind of advice where it got them — and what they wish they had done differently.
Don’t demand that others be what you aren’t. Yeah, it’s mighty funny to me how folks will just toss 'six figures' and 'owning a home' out there like it’s nothing — only to find out that they barely make $50,000 and are hustling to pay rent for their apartment in the process. I’m telling you, nothing will humble you and get you out of your own dating delusions like striving to be the kind of person you want to date (check out “Before You Talk About What You 'Deserve'...Do You Know What That Even Means?”).
BE. FLEXIBLE. As I’m in the process of penning this third book of mine, it has caused me to take a few walks down memory lane. As I happened upon the Chicago Tribunedeath announcement of my late fiancé (whom I had never seen before this year), it got me to thinking about how much I would’ve missed out on (both while he was here and via the lessons that our relationship continues to teach me almost 30 years later) had I been INFLEXIBLE. Damien was a bit shorter (although still cleared 6’ — LOL), lighter, and a few other “ers” different than I was accustomed to, and sadly, I wasted a lot of our precious time by giving him quite a bit of initial pushback because of it.
Around the last 16 months of his life, I became less rigid and it was a true blessing…a billion times over. You know, it is the popular (and sometimes controversial) life coach Tony Robbins who once said, “Stay committed in your decisions, flexible in your approach” and no greater words have been spoken when it comes to dating.
Flexibility is about being open to 5’9” over 6’ (especially when you’re barely 5’5” yourself). Flexibility is about preferring an ambitious guy over a wealthy one. Flexibility is about dating the introvert to see if he balances out your extroverted qualities (someone needed to hear that). Flexibility is about being mature enough to know that if you can get the most important things from your list in a guy, you can compromise on the rest.
____
When I first happened upon what is known asthe dating delusion calculator for the first time, two sentences in the first paragraph are what made me even take it semi-seriously: “Are your romantic expectations in line with reality?” and “Using data from the US Census Bureau and the US CDC, we'll tell you if your expectations are reasonable and give you clarity in your quest for love.”
As I close all of this out, let me just say, for the record, that there is nothing wrong with wanting what you want. Demanding it without really getting real about it, though — that can end up working against you. Delusional thinking tends to do that. So, whatever it is that you want in a partner, just make sure that you are putting standards above preferences and factoring in reality to the mix. Oh, and that you are flexible in your approach. You’d be amazed where those three dating tweaks will get you — regardless of the 50 things on your list or what a calculator ultimately says. TRUST ME.
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