
The Van Life Chose Me: 5 Black Women Share Their Experience With Solo Female Van Life

I'm a natural-born wanderer. Adventure is my thing. I'd like to think every moment of life is an adventure. I seek it, I crave it, and I need it. It's one drug I will always be addicted to. From horseback riding in Baja Cali, whitewater rafting in the Kern River, riding an ATV in Mexico, hiking in Hawaii, and driving up to the highest mountain peak in Colorado. It's the adrenaline rush for me. Typically, travel fulfills my endless need for adventure. Airports and airplanes excite me. Since the 'Rona, I have opted for short road trips within my home state. And many of us have indulged in cross-country road trips to reduce our FOMO as travel was canceled for most of this pandemic.
BUT what if you can make road trips a lifestyle? Because you absolutely can and it's not a new thing. Men and women have been converting vans into living spaces for decades. From 2017 to 2019, van life has been trending among millennials. If the pandemic showed us anything, it's working remotely, and traveling is more than doable. And more recently, not only has solo female van life emerged, but black women are choosing to live this bohemian lifestyle too. If you search the hashtag #blackvanlife, 5,000 plus photos and videos of melanin poppin' queens and their beautifully remodeled vans in picturesque places across the United States will pop up.
So, what is a van build, you ask? It's when you purchase a van, remove the interior, and convert it into a dope-ass living space. Some van builds include a sink, solar panels, shower, and a toilet. Most van builds are equipped with a bed, table, hidden storage spaces, table, stove, oven, and a mini-refrigerator. It's whatever you want it to be. That's the beauty of it – you make your living space work for you.
xoNecole interviewed five black women on their van builds. Meet these free-spirited black queens and learn what they had to say about the solo female van life below.
Meet the Black Women Living Their Best Lives in Solo Van Builds
1. Candyss Love, 31
Candyss is known as the "Beyonce of Van Life". She travels solo with her German Shepard Cleo. She is a military veteran, police officer, criminal justice instructor, life coach, and entrepreneur. Candyss is an empowered solo female world traveler that traded in fear and trauma for purpose and intentional growth.
2. Paulett Jones, 45
Paulett has spent 26 years in the mental health industry and is now a certified life coach, motivational speaker, and author ofBest Secrets Unfold. She is currently studying for her Leadership and Ministry degree and her life's work allows her to change lives with deep compassion and honesty.
3. Natasha Van Horne, 30
Tasha is a full-time EMT/Scheduler Assistant, single mom, and van lifer. When she's not working, wrangling a six-year-old, or improving her van - you can find her out in the wild exploring a new location, or researching a new adventure. Natasha believes that life should be lived to the fullest and that the only things holding us back are ourselves. Her passion is breaking out of her comfort zones and raising her daughter to love nature and challenge herself.
4. Angie Vasquez, mid-forties
Based out of Florida, Angie currently lives in her self-converted van named Parker. Angie is a lover of the outdoors. Nature is her way to keep herself connected to herself and the universe. As an avid explorer who loves to travel and find places off the beaten path, Angie teaches outdoor classes to women. Her passion for nature allowed Angie to start a women's hiking group,Girls Who Hike Florida. Angie's goal is to continue exploring and teaching other women about all the benefits of the outdoors while learning new things traveling in Parker.
5. Antoinette Yvonne, 32
Antoinette Yvonne is an African-American travel and lifestyle content creator, entrepreneur, van lifer, and nomad. Her entertaining vlogs capture the life of a solo female traveler navigating through life in a luxury converted van. Antionette documents her life, showcasing her up and downs equally. She is also the founder of Globally Abroad, a study and travel company committed to providing international opportunities for the minority youth.
The Inspiration Behind the Van Life
Solo female van life is off the beaten path and unconventional AF. The inspiration to convert a van into a living space van varies across the board. Women desire so much more than what society tells us to be. Most women desire their freedom. Other women just love to travel and want to save the coins while doing so. Some women would even refer to van life as a calling or a healing journey. And for women like Angie and Candyss, a van build was a combination of all of the above. It was also a way to cope with their mental health.
Angie: "I dreamed of van life and knew one day I'd find the perfect one for me. I had previously been living in my car to save money for a van and pay off debt. I bought my van Parker in December 2019 and planned to build it out fall of 2020. I was returning to Alaska to work for the summer season when COVID-19 began. My season was canceled, and I had to choose what to do next.
"Like many, I fell into a bit of depression during the lockdown. I needed to find a way out of my funk, I had to regain control of my circumstances. I asked a friend if I could stay with her and I put my car up for sale to fund the build. I figured what better time to build the van than during quarantine. I spent 10 to 12 hour days for the next couple months to build my tiny home on wheels."
Candyss: "As I journey to exploring the depths of myself, healing my emotional past and intentionally choosing to grow, the quest for FREEDOM became extremely loud internally. I realized I had to decide what freedom meant and looked like for ME outside of the societal norms I'd been programmed and conditioned to follow.
"Going to college, getting married and having a baby just haven't been on my priority list and, as a way to honor myself, I gave myself permission to make my own rules and learn what actually makes me feel happy and free. I chose Van Life because it's truly a tool that helps me connect deeper with myself, my growth, and my spirituality."
Lessons Learned During the Van Build Process
Would you be able to do a van build? Easier said than done, right? It's not for everyone; converting a van into a living space is a process. It takes patience, sacrifice, time, money, and a well-thought-out plan. Some women do it themselves and others have their vans custom-built for them. Below, Angie and Tasha share their experience on the solo van conversion experience.
Angie: "The van build was a bit difficult for me because I had no prior building experience. I knew how to get around a few tools, but I'd never really built anything other than an Ikea bookcase or two. I learned many lessons during the build on how to use larger tools like multiple types of saws, drills, and measuring correctly. My biggest lesson was I can do anything I put my mind to. I built 90 percent of the van on my own through trial and error. It gave me the confidence to get out of my comfort zone and try new things.
"As women, we can sometimes sell ourselves short because of confidence. Building the van showed me I was stronger physically and mentally. It allowed me to understand my needs and teach myself that through trial and error amazing things happen."
Tasha: "I learned that that feeling of knowing nothing is EASILY remedied as you begin the process of a build. I watched videos on several builds but as I started mine and had a non-existent budget, I knew I would need to just try my frugal build ideas and see if they worked. Friends gave me leftover wood flooring so I did a lot of googling how to install a wood floor and then adjusting it to how I would need to do it with minimal tools, or money. I learned I can easily up-cycle furniture, and building things is not as hard as it looked. I'm still learning, but I'm less afraid of the process."
The Van Life Chose Me
Van life is not a movement. It's not just a lifestyle either. It's a calling. A true calling that women feel drawn to live. It's not just about freedom, adventure, travel, and saving money. Van life is about honoring yourself and redefining the American dream. It's realizing what matters more in life – happiness, peace, growth, moments, and memories. Antoinette, Paulette, and Tasha reveal their why behind pursuing the van life.
Antoinette: "Unlike many, van life was something that only took one search down the YouTube rabbit hole and I was hooked. Everyone has their reasons of why they want to but it's the adventure and freedom for me. Two weeks after watching my first #vanlife video, I flew down to Georgia to pick up my van. One month later, I drove her over to Ohio to have her outfitted. I love being 'rich in experience' and this lifestyle was an investment that is beyond priceless.
"I also wanted to be challenged. I've traveled all over the world - many times solo (which pushed me out of my comfort zone). I conquered that. And I knew it was time for a new one. I was getting way too comfortable for my liking. Something that I've learned about myself is that I thrive when challenged. I knew van life would push me to greater heights (mentally, physically, and emotionally) and I was right!"
Paulette: "I purchased my school bus in the year 2019, and almost a year later, the pandemic hit, and I wasn't very sure if I was going to take that leap of faith and continue my plans. However, one day my landlord entered my apartment, and I asked him, 'How the pandemic is treating him?' His exact words were, 'I'm going to move to Florida, retire because I don't like the governor of California, and play golf.' I grabbed my pen, added up how much money my landlord received from me in the past four years. I was blown away by the figures, over $70,000.
"In the middle of a pandemic, he's going to golf. I am 45 years old this upcoming March; I said enough is enough. I've been working in the mental health field for 26 years. I have rescued girls from prostituting, attempt suicide, and so much more. I worked 10 hours shifts for rent, ongoing bills, and hustling every day to stay afloat. All to keep up with the American dream that was embedded in me since I was a little girl. I no longer desire the white picket fence and expensive car in the driveway. I desire peace and understanding."
Tasha: "After a hard separation, I wanted to no longer live paycheck to paycheck. I decided to take my financial freedom back, lessen my bills by living full-time in my van, and to choose my future. Finances play a huge part in all of our lives for freedom, and I didn't want to feel obliged to chase money in order to survive. I wanted to stay working as an EMT, and go on amazing adventures with my daughter, and not get pulled further into the rat race as a single momma. My time is everything and I would rather spend it hiking with my daughter, camping, or backpacking than constantly looking for ways to make more money in the future."
Black Girl Van Life
If you search the hashtag #solofemalevanlife, over 10.1 thousand Instagram posts flood your feed. And if you search the hashtag #vanlife, over 9.2 million posts are returned. But the majority of the posts are white women with an inkblot of women of color. It makes me wonder why van life is seen as a lifestyle that only a subset of women can pursue, when the reality is that there are many Black women and other women of color doing the same thing. Candyss, Tasha, and Paulette share their thoughts on why more Black women are choosing the van life.
Candyss: "I believe as melanated beings, we are of the earth and so many black women embarking on the van life journey is a subconscious form of being called to return home into nature, into exploring and finding ways to thrive without the bounds of society and its unrealistic norms.
"I believe black women are taking their power back and giving themselves permission to embody freedom and cultivating safe spaces to decided what freedom actually means, looks, and feels like for them."
Tasha: "I think that a lot more Black women are choosing this lifestyle because they're finally seeing more diversity in van life and realizing it's a very viable option. Van life is like clay - you can mold it however you desire, and financial freedom helps us reach our goals faster or with less stress and debt. I'm excited to see more women of color choosing this life because by doing so, we show the world the possibilities of how richly we can live life in any circumstance."
Paulette: "I believe we have been conditioned to think a certain way and allow others to define what is the American dream and what is success. I feel black women are saying, 'Enough is enough. It's time to live in peace and harmony of who we truly are.' We are creating our own space and our own opportunities to embrace financial freedom and become more for ourselves. We are black women; we are powerful and it's time to live with grace and understand who we are and who we want to become."
Advice for Other Women Considering the Van Life
If you are considering taking that leap and saying goodbye to the stereotypical American life as we know it, now is the time. This pandemic has not ended. More and more women of color are pursuing remote opportunities and entrepreneurship. And the good thing is, we're moving toward a society that allows for it. Angie, Antoinette, and Tasha share words of encouragement for those seeking the van life.
Angie: "The advice I'd give to other women thinking of building a van and living nomadically is research like there's no tomorrow. Buy a notebook and jot down all of the things you want to accomplish by living in a van. Make a list of what you cannot live without, i.e., sink, bathroom, heat, being able to stand up, storage, etc. Watch van build videos and ask questions. The van life community is really open about helping others. Rent an RV or camper van for the weekend to test out the waters. Join a women's group on Facebook and follow other women in vans on Instagram or YouTube. I'd also say you don't have to have the expensive Mercedes Sprinter with all of the upgrades. It isn't all about the expense but the experience."
Antoinette: "First, know your 'why'! Once you have a full understanding of why you want to do a van build or #vanlife, the process becomes easier. From there you'll discover the where, when, and how. Figuring all of that out will make the van build process ten times easier because you'll build your van with all of those components in mind."
Tasha: "The advice I would give to other women wanting to do a van build is to not give too much time to the fears. Start frugal, don't get what you can't afford, and be willing to take the leap. If you don't like it, you can always do something else. Our biggest boundaries are in our minds and we won't know how something will go unless we try it. As you become who you want to be, you start to find more and more people doing it as well and your community will blossom through the journey."
As a fellow solo female traveler and a woman of color, I always say, you never know until you leap. I tell other women who are wanting to travel solo or live a different lifestyle, that the initial fear is always going to be there. But you must choose what you do with this fear.
Are you going to continue to feed this fear or conquer it? Your intuition is your best friend. Trust yourself sis, and watch your life unfold.
Featured image courtesy of candyss.love/Instagram
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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Featured image by Unsplash