I'm Changing The Perception Of Moms Who Smoke Cannabis
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Shonitria Anthony's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
So, I'm a Blunt Blowin' Mama.
No, really, that's my brand.
But my brand isn't just referring to me. It's an entire community of real moms and ladies who proudly and openly consume cannabis. One day, I decided to stop hiding my cannabis use in hopes of finding and bringing together other women and moms who did the same. I spent hours trying to find women who looked like me (young and brown) and that were both open stoners, and proud moms.
And I couldn't find any.
So I said to myself: " F*ck it, since that space doesn't exist, I'll just create it myself."
I remember I smoked weed for the first time as a freshman in college. I was with a friend who had wanted me to try it out for forever, so I did. And I ended up loving it. From there, we would meet to smoke and hide it from our parents, teachers, certain roommates. Keep in mind, the stigma was really heavy on the plant during those days—hell, it still kind of is now. But to be living in Georgia as a black teenager at the time, smoking weed was terrifying. You think you're worried now, back then was damn near open season. Police back in those days would absolutely use the excuse of a black person having weed on them to send them to prison, so I was risking heavy jail time every single time I decided to smoke.
Don't go to jail, don't get arrested.
You've got this, Shonitria.
This fear would consume me.
It also caused me to create a private ganja-loving world that I happily lived, and found peace, in. I never talked about it much or smoked in public. I was all the way in the closet about my cannabis use for many years—simply out of fear of losing my freedom.
But back to my story, I'm a journalist by trade. I attended Georgia State for journalism, and obtained a master's degree in it as well. I moved to New York about a year after graduating to attend Columbia for grad school. I stayed in NYC for a while after graduating and worked as an editor at some really cool companies: ABC News. HuffPost. Blavity. It was fun and I learned a lot, but I never felt I was genuinely challenged enough, or that my own personal career development was taken seriously by the powers that be—which is how theBlunt Blowin' Mama podcast came into fruition: unappreciation—like most businesses. This wasn't the first time I tried to create and host a podcast, I had pitched and worked on about three other podcasts at various media companies. None of those worked out, but I never gave up on the idea of one day having my own.
Now, I've built my platform in West Hollywood, which is where I've been living for the past three years.
And living in California, the way weed is so openly embraced, absolutely inspired the creation and evolution of the Blunt Blowin' Mama brand. I went from hiding who I was, to happily educating the public on stigmas of weed consumption. The difference is almost astonishing.
Now, I puff everyday.
Courtesy of Shonitria Anthony
Don't get me wrong, this isn't some rebellious, trendy humble-brag about how much I choose to smoke. My story is solely told to create a flourishing platform that leads the change of the perception of women and mothers—especially those of color—who smoke.
This is much bigger than me.
And here's why:
Many moms who smoke weed are scared and feel alone, which would oftentimes mean that they are actively seeking a sense of community. A lot of these moms have been reprimanded by either the people they know, or by their own communities for smoking weed. It's almost ridiculous that people still feel and think that way, especially in 2020 with all the low-risk statistics and information available to everyone. I have spoken to dozens upon dozens of moms, both on the Blunt Blowin' Mama's podcast, and just via direct communication, and I have come across nothing but the most responsible and loving parents who also just happen to smoke.
BUT,
The shift in acceptance comes with its own set challenges, and that's where things can get complicated. Yes, there's this social shift happening—great. And people are not only being more accepting of cannabis, there's also been an increasing interest in moms who consume the plant. But, as cannabis is becoming more and more mainstream, the face of "advocates" have all been non-inclusive. And this is definitely the case when it comes to the poster child of the mom who smokes weed.
Yes, I'm saying that generally, the face of our community is always a white woman.
Story headlines:
"Moms Agree That Smoking Weed..."blah blah.
or
"Studies Show That Mothers Who Smoke Weed Once A Day Have Better..."blah.
When I began researching online, I had a hard time finding any black millennial moms who were openly advocating for moms who responsibly consume cannabis with a large platform. Black and brown people have been criminalized for weed for generations—where are we? And now white people are becoming rich off of what has torn our families apart for over 50 years. Legally.
To be frank, it's f*cked up. And I feel a deep obligation to be a voice as often as possible. The importance of cannabis education, is to always push to decriminalize and legalize the plant as equitable as possible. Too many dispensaries are looking like the Apple Store.
The. Apple. Store.
So, nah. Not on my watch. I instead chose to brand myself and have my hand in taking back this power.
It's ours. This country owes it to us.
My biggest supporter in my world is my partner. He hears my rants or listens to my tough days. We have been together for almost eight years at this point and he was actually the person who helped me brand myself. He's such a good man and father, he knows that cannabis is medicine, and he supports moms and my mission of normalizing cannabis consumption among moms. My beautiful babies are still very young at 13 months old and 4 years old, so they don't quite understand what is going on around them, but I plan to be open about it with them as they get older. And even in all my somewhat hippy liberation, I make it a point to never smoke around them, as well as take extra precaution to ensure they don't smell it.
Some of my extended family knows about my choice to medicate with cannabis and others do not. My parents are both incredibly conservative —especially when it comes to their views on weed, so it has been tough at times to explain it to them.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Blunt Blowin' Mama (@bluntblowinmama) on Jun 27, 2019 at 9:06am PDT
But I still find my happiness in moments when bae and I smoke weed together after successfully running a vibrant home, and loving on our family as much as possible.
Ultimately, my biggest hope is that my platform truly educates naysayers. That's all I really want. People need to know that moms who smoke weed are not some dangerous, forbidden drug addicts putting our children in harm's way. We are simply women who have taken charge of a taboo industry, and made it ours for our benefit.
We are women who work in corporate offices.
We are women who take their kids to soccer practice.
We are women who attend PTA meetings.
And we are women who do it all with a lil' THC.
To keep up with Shonitria, you can follow her and the Blunt Blowin Mama community on Instagram. You may also listen to her podcast and catch up on her latest episodes.
If you have a story you'd like to share, but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
Featured image courtesy of Shonitria Anthony.
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Not too long ago, while in a session with one of my clients, they were talking to me about having strong sex cravings that seemed to have come out of nowhere. After asking some questions for clarity’s sake, I got that the reason why they used the word “craving” is because it’s not like they are hornier than usual all of the time. Nah, it’s more like the urge creeps up at some pretty random and/or unexpected moments. What they wanted to know from me was if I thought that it was normal.
The short answer is “yes.”
Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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Featured image by Giphy