

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Shonitria Anthony's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
So, I'm a Blunt Blowin' Mama.
No, really, that's my brand.
But my brand isn't just referring to me. It's an entire community of real moms and ladies who proudly and openly consume cannabis. One day, I decided to stop hiding my cannabis use in hopes of finding and bringing together other women and moms who did the same. I spent hours trying to find women who looked like me (young and brown) and that were both open stoners, and proud moms.
And I couldn't find any.
So I said to myself: " F*ck it, since that space doesn't exist, I'll just create it myself."
I remember I smoked weed for the first time as a freshman in college. I was with a friend who had wanted me to try it out for forever, so I did. And I ended up loving it. From there, we would meet to smoke and hide it from our parents, teachers, certain roommates. Keep in mind, the stigma was really heavy on the plant during those days—hell, it still kind of is now. But to be living in Georgia as a black teenager at the time, smoking weed was terrifying. You think you're worried now, back then was damn near open season. Police back in those days would absolutely use the excuse of a black person having weed on them to send them to prison, so I was risking heavy jail time every single time I decided to smoke.
Don't go to jail, don't get arrested.
You've got this, Shonitria.
This fear would consume me.
It also caused me to create a private ganja-loving world that I happily lived, and found peace, in. I never talked about it much or smoked in public. I was all the way in the closet about my cannabis use for many years—simply out of fear of losing my freedom.
But back to my story, I'm a journalist by trade. I attended Georgia State for journalism, and obtained a master's degree in it as well. I moved to New York about a year after graduating to attend Columbia for grad school. I stayed in NYC for a while after graduating and worked as an editor at some really cool companies: ABC News. HuffPost. Blavity. It was fun and I learned a lot, but I never felt I was genuinely challenged enough, or that my own personal career development was taken seriously by the powers that be—which is how theBlunt Blowin' Mama podcast came into fruition: unappreciation—like most businesses. This wasn't the first time I tried to create and host a podcast, I had pitched and worked on about three other podcasts at various media companies. None of those worked out, but I never gave up on the idea of one day having my own.
Now, I've built my platform in West Hollywood, which is where I've been living for the past three years.
And living in California, the way weed is so openly embraced, absolutely inspired the creation and evolution of the Blunt Blowin' Mama brand. I went from hiding who I was, to happily educating the public on stigmas of weed consumption. The difference is almost astonishing.
Now, I puff everyday.
Courtesy of Shonitria Anthony
Don't get me wrong, this isn't some rebellious, trendy humble-brag about how much I choose to smoke. My story is solely told to create a flourishing platform that leads the change of the perception of women and mothers—especially those of color—who smoke.
This is much bigger than me.
And here's why:
Many moms who smoke weed are scared and feel alone, which would oftentimes mean that they are actively seeking a sense of community. A lot of these moms have been reprimanded by either the people they know, or by their own communities for smoking weed. It's almost ridiculous that people still feel and think that way, especially in 2020 with all the low-risk statistics and information available to everyone. I have spoken to dozens upon dozens of moms, both on the Blunt Blowin' Mama's podcast, and just via direct communication, and I have come across nothing but the most responsible and loving parents who also just happen to smoke.
BUT,
The shift in acceptance comes with its own set challenges, and that's where things can get complicated. Yes, there's this social shift happening—great. And people are not only being more accepting of cannabis, there's also been an increasing interest in moms who consume the plant. But, as cannabis is becoming more and more mainstream, the face of "advocates" have all been non-inclusive. And this is definitely the case when it comes to the poster child of the mom who smokes weed.
Yes, I'm saying that generally, the face of our community is always a white woman.
Story headlines:
"Moms Agree That Smoking Weed..."blah blah.
or
"Studies Show That Mothers Who Smoke Weed Once A Day Have Better..."blah.
When I began researching online, I had a hard time finding any black millennial moms who were openly advocating for moms who responsibly consume cannabis with a large platform. Black and brown people have been criminalized for weed for generations—where are we? And now white people are becoming rich off of what has torn our families apart for over 50 years. Legally.
To be frank, it's f*cked up. And I feel a deep obligation to be a voice as often as possible. The importance of cannabis education, is to always push to decriminalize and legalize the plant as equitable as possible. Too many dispensaries are looking like the Apple Store.
The. Apple. Store.
So, nah. Not on my watch. I instead chose to brand myself and have my hand in taking back this power.
It's ours. This country owes it to us.
My biggest supporter in my world is my partner. He hears my rants or listens to my tough days. We have been together for almost eight years at this point and he was actually the person who helped me brand myself. He's such a good man and father, he knows that cannabis is medicine, and he supports moms and my mission of normalizing cannabis consumption among moms. My beautiful babies are still very young at 13 months old and 4 years old, so they don't quite understand what is going on around them, but I plan to be open about it with them as they get older. And even in all my somewhat hippy liberation, I make it a point to never smoke around them, as well as take extra precaution to ensure they don't smell it.
Some of my extended family knows about my choice to medicate with cannabis and others do not. My parents are both incredibly conservative —especially when it comes to their views on weed, so it has been tough at times to explain it to them.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Blunt Blowin' Mama (@bluntblowinmama) on Jun 27, 2019 at 9:06am PDT
But I still find my happiness in moments when bae and I smoke weed together after successfully running a vibrant home, and loving on our family as much as possible.
Ultimately, my biggest hope is that my platform truly educates naysayers. That's all I really want. People need to know that moms who smoke weed are not some dangerous, forbidden drug addicts putting our children in harm's way. We are simply women who have taken charge of a taboo industry, and made it ours for our benefit.
We are women who work in corporate offices.
We are women who take their kids to soccer practice.
We are women who attend PTA meetings.
And we are women who do it all with a lil' THC.
To keep up with Shonitria, you can follow her and the Blunt Blowin Mama community on Instagram. You may also listen to her podcast and catch up on her latest episodes.
If you have a story you'd like to share, but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
Featured image courtesy of Shonitria Anthony.
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images