Every year Forbes releases a list of the best companies to work for and Internet start-ups like Google, Twitter, AirBnB and Facebook continue to make those lists. These companies have become the model for what a perfect workplace utopia looks like. Vibrant employees, exciting work and amazing benefits make positions at these companies coveted and competitive. However, recently there has been an influx of people leaving these “perfect” jobs. How could it be possible for people to quit working at a place like AirBnB? Taylor Yarborough knows exactly what its like to discover that her “dream job” wasn’t the perfect place for her.
In the advertising world Ogilvy is considered one of the best agencies to work for and the best place to start a career in the advertising industry. The office culture, the client work and the reputation is what attracted Taylor to the company when she was a junior at Spelman. “It just seemed like the place where I needed to be. It was a big creative space, but it was corporate so it came with all of the amenities and perks that a large organization like it provides.” She applied for their summer internship and worked in the New York office before entering her senior year. She loved it so much that she secured an internship in Ogilvy’s Atlanta office during her last year in college, which later turned into a full-time job opportunity upon graduation.
She began to notice the difference between the New York office in comparison to the Atlanta office. “The accounts were different, the office culture was so much different, I started to think maybe I do like Ogilvy, but I just prefer the New York office better,” Taylor explained.
She really started feeling frustrated about her situation once she became a full-time employee. “It did not align with what I wanted to do within the advertising and marketing space and the cultural fit wasn’t clicking for me either,” she said. It did not take long for Taylor to feel that this dream place was not her dream anymore. “I really thought that I would work there for the rest of my life,” she shared. After an attempt to transfer to another office location, Taylor took a leap of faith and put in her month’s notice without securing another job offer. “I had to let the dream go that this was the only place for me, because it’s not true," Taylor explained.
We went to college, interned and networked our way to get into the places that seemed like it would be the perfect fit for our career goals and lifestyle. It happens to the best of us, but then we quickly discover that the position and company that we worked so hard to gain employment with isn’t what we imagined it would be. We start to go over it in our heads: I thought this was the place for me, but it’s not. What do I do now and how do I figure out what’s next for me? It’s a struggle when you have to come to terms that your perfect job isn’t so perfect after all. But before you throw in the towel, here are some ways to combat “perfect job syndrome” in your next job search:
DON'T BE BLINDSIDED BY THE HYPE
Crystal Marsh is a Millennial career coach based out of Los Angeles. The former attorney weighed in on the topic of "perfect job syndrome" and offered some advice for those searching for the perfect job. “I think people put certain companies on a pedestal because of brand familiarity. It’s a company that they know and love, so you imagine that it’s going to be an amazing place to work. A lot of these companies are a great place to work, but it doesn’t necessarily make it the great place for you or even a cultural fit for you. It might not align with your skill sets and gifts,” she explained.
As consumers, we fall in love with brands like Pepsi, Google and Twitter. Name recognition excites us and the people around us when we work at these cool brands. I remember the reaction and favoritism that I would receive at networking events when I worked for particular companies based on brand familiarity. The last part of my work email got me into many rooms that I wouldn’t be able to get in otherwise and afforded me many perks, but those places might not have been the right cultural fit for me. Just because we have an understanding and appreciation for these exciting brands from a consumer point-of-view, doesn’t always mean that working for the brand will be the perfect fit for us. Don't let the popularity of the brand, blind you from what your true career goals are. Perks and benefits are great, but those incentives won't elevate your passion or your purpose.
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DISCOVER COMPANY CULTURE BEFORE APPLYING
I’ve applied to many places when I was desperate for employment, not caring whether the company would actually fit my needs. It left me feeling like I wasted months and even years in a space that didn’t align with my career goals. After feeling like I had to start over again way too many times, I started to be particular about the places I applied to. I started to be proactive about my needs from a company by having informational interviews.
“If there is a company that you really want to work for and you admire the brand make sure you learn the cultural fit of the company. Be clear on how employees feel about it as well. Informational interviews are really great, but its even better if you can get an information interview with a former employee. There’s the chance that you can get more of the real scoop from someone who is no longer working for the company,” Crystal says.
MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Starting a new job is exciting because it’s making that first step towards your goals and earning a livelihood. However, while stepping in the door of your first job you should remember to be open minded and accepting to the things that you discover about the culture and the employees you will be working for. Not everything you encounter that first week is going to impress you.
“When you start [the jobs] almost seem perfect, but I think I didn’t do a good job managing my own expectations so after a couple of weeks I thought maybe this isn’t perfect. I think I may have enjoyed myself more, if I accepted that a little bit more. A job can be great, it can be rewarding, it can be challenging but perfection wasn’t something that I was likely to find,” Crystal said.
Manage your expectations and open yourself up to your new job. Remember you were hired to help turn issues into profits and help fill the voids that could make efficiencies better. The very thing that concerns you about the new gig can be the very thing you change for the better.
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY INTO BUILDING YOUR STRENGTHS
If you get to a place where you are ready to move on to another opportunity, find ways to get through the day without feeling sad, annoyed and disappointed by your situation. It can be hard, but there are ways to take that negative energy and put it towards something positive. Crystal suggests that you work on a skill that you struggle with at work and become great at it before you leave your job.
“One of the easiest things to do if you are not enjoying your work is to take one area that you are really struggling in and focus everything you can do to make it better. I had a client who didn’t particular know how to use Excel. So every time she had an assignment she wrote down the task and worked on her skills. She became so go at the tasks that her colleagues asked her for help with Excel and it eventually made work more enjoyable for her. Her work became more valuable and she liked that she was being acknowledged for it.”
Before you leave make sure to make your mark on the company. Finding projects to work on will make the time go faster and improve your skill sets until another opportunity. Not only will you start you next job equipped with stronger work strengths, but you will also leave knowing that you contributed to the company in some shape or form.
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REMEMBER THERE IS A PLACE OUT THERE FOR YOU
It may take several attempts, but eventually you will figure out what type of career you want and what type of work environment is suitable for your needs. “There is definitely no such thing as a perfect job. There is a job that can be perfect for you. That can be a really great fit for you and can be enjoyable, but perfect I don’t think so. I think it is a little bit dangerous to even look for a perfect job. I think it leads to a lot of disappointment if you think that a job could possibly be perfect, “ Crystal said.
For some people entrepreneurship is the best place and situation for them to do the work that they love on their own terms. When Crystal worked as a lawyer she felt like she wasn’t using her potential, and it didn’t feel like the right fit for her. “One of my advice that I give my clients is to find work that aligns with who you really are and not just your passion. I made the transition to coaching once I realized this was something that I could do on a full-time basis. It’s been great having my own business. I like the flexibility,” she shared.
Don’t feel disappointed when your “dream job” doesn’t work out. It only means there is something bigger and better that awaits, but until you get there use these steps to avoid the perfect job syndrome.
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Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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There are some proven perks to making the shift. Aside from the fact that early rising makes it possible to have more time to get more things done in a 24-hour day, there are also studies to support that being a morning person is better for your mental health, helps to lower depression-related symptoms, can make you more energized and productive throughout the day and, some research indicates that it’s better for your overall physical health and well-being too.
For all of these reasons, I thought it would be a good idea to share some tips on how you can become more of a morning person if that’s always been a goal of yours that you happen to struggle with or if you want to try it for a while to see if it truly is a good look. With the help of the following 10 tips/hacks in just a few months (give or take a few weeks), you may find yourself wondering why you weren’t getting up with the sun and the birds years ago.
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1. Know Your Why
Something that I enjoy doing is taking personality tests, and one of the most enlightening ones that I’ve taken in a while is a chronotype one (which I talk about in the article, “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”). The general concept is we’re each a bear, wolf, lion, or dolphin. What that means is each animal speaks to the time of day when we are the most productive.
Me? I’m a lion, which means that I tend to get the most done before noon, and so when I was trying to be less of a night owl and more of a morning person during a particular season of my life, my motivation was to get enough rest so that I could get up and get more done during the time when my mind and body actually prefer to.
All of this is why I think that the first thing that you need to consider when it comes to becoming more of a morning person is to figure out why you want to do it. With a clear motive and plan in place that can inspire you to get up an hour (or more) earlier because there is a true mission in mind that can make the sacrifice (by definition, a sacrifice is giving up something good for something greater) easier.
2. Change Your Bedroom’s Window Treatments
I can tell you from personal experience that if you’ve got blackout curtains in your bedroom, it’s gonna be chal-leng-ing to try and get up in the morning, no matter how bright it may be outside. That’s because those types of window treatments are designed to keep natural light out.
That’s why, if you truly want to become more of a morning person, another thing that you should do is go with sheer curtains or opened blinds; that way, your body can start to wake up as the sun rises. As a bonus, natural light provides health benefits like a boost of vitamin D, lower stress levels, and a better night’s rest at the end of each day, so it’s kind of a win all the way around.
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3. Create a Morning and Nighttime Routine
While checking out a doctor’s blog on the benefits of creating a life routine, some of the things that he shared is it can reduce stress, make you more efficient, and even cause your life to become more meaningful. If you add to this the fact that a routine can create habits that will last for years to come, it makes a lot of sense that it’s wise to have a morning and nighttime routine.
As far as a morning routine goes, it could be that you pray and/or meditate, journal, sip some herbal tea, go through some affirmations, or take a longer shower so that you start your day off feeling truly refreshed. On the flip side, your nighttime routine can consist of things like soaking in the tub, creating a sleep schedule, reading a book, doing some stretches before getting into bed, verbalizing some things that you are grateful for and that you accomplished throughout the day and listening to some soothing music.
The bottom line here is you rob yourself of enjoying getting out of and into bed (plus, you can throw your sleep rhythm off a bit) if you only jerk yourself out of bed in the morning and/or immediately fall asleep due to sheer exhaustion at night. That said, some tips for how to create and customize your own morning and night routine can be found here.
4. Stop Consuming Stimulants Before Bedtime
Especially as I get older, one habit that I definitely need to break is to stop drinking before going to bed. Why? Because I’m the type of person who, even if I run to the bathroom with all of the lights off in the middle of the night, once I’m awake, I’m up for at least an hour — and that can be annoying as all get out when I’m trying to get back to some quality zzz’s in. If you can relate, it really is best to stop drinking about a couple of hours before turning in.
Oh, and if stimulants like alcohol or coffee are your thing, you should go even longer without those. Alcohol needs to be at least three hours prior to your bedtime, and many health experts say that when it comes to caffeine (yes, your beloved coffee), it should be a whopping eight.
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5. Prep for the Next Day
If a part of what you hate about getting up early in the morning is feeling rushed, there is definitely a workaround for that. You can easily add 30 minutes to your morning window by preparing for the next day the night before. This can include laying out (and ironing) your clothes, preparing your lunch, checking the best GPS travel route, and putting together your to-do list for the following day.
Just knowing that you’ve got your morning organized before turning in can help you to sleep more soundly and wake up in a more relaxed state of mind.
6. Prioritize Something in the Morning (Every Morning)
A part of the reason why some of us don’t consider ourselves to be morning people is because all we see is a day full of work and other obligations before us, and getting up earlier means that we have to do them sooner —and in comparison to staying all comfy and cozy in our bed, the bed is always going to win. That’s why another hack that could help is to prioritize something that you actually enjoy in the morning.
Maybe it’s watching a morning program, getting coffee and a pastry at a local donut shop, or exercising in the early am so that you can knock it out of the way. If you reward yourself for getting up (earlier), that can make it easier to do.
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7. Move Your Bedtime Up (in 15-Minute Increments)
It’s kind of unrealistic to think that you will become a morning person — pardon the pun — overnight. So, one thing that could help you out is to move your bedtime up in 15-minute increments over the next 2-4 weeks or so. In other words, if you typically go to bed at 11 p.m. and you want to start waking up at 5:30 a.m. while still getting no less than seven hours of sleep, this week, go to bed at 10:45 p.m., next week at 10:30 a.m., and so on. That way, changing your sleep schedule won’t feel so drastic, and you’ll be better able to ease into it.
8. Use a Nature Sounds Alarm Setting
Believe it or not, there’s research that indicates that traditional alarm clocks aren’t as beneficial for us as we might think. For one thing, they don’t really “ease” us out of bed; it’s more like they shock us. Plus, just knowing that the sound will go off in the morning can disrupt your sleep patterns. That’s why it’s best to either go with a digital or sunrise alarm or to set your smartphone to make a nature-related sound when it’s time for you to get up (there are also nature sound alarm clocks that you can buy). These options are more soothing to the soul while still being just as effective.
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9. Keep a Sleep Schedule (Even on the Weekends)
I once read an article that said a sleep schedule is all about prioritizing this type of rest. Well, since sleep helps to recharge and rejuvenate your system, regulate your blood sugar, boost your immunity, strengthen your cognitive abilities, reduce your stress levels, maintain a healthy weight, give you more energy, and so much more — sleep is definitely something that you should treat as a paramount practice in your life. And yes, if you want to become a morning person, a sleep schedule can help with that, too.
At the end of the day, creating a sleep schedule is all about incorporating a night routine and also making the effort to go to bed at the same time, each and every night, including the weekends (yep, a sleep schedule has no “cheat” days). If you do this consistently enough, your mind and body will treat your sleep schedule like a pattern/habit — then, before you know it, waking up in the morning will be super natural for you.
10. Choose Your Words Wisely
Last one. I once read a blog post on how to become a morning person. One of the things that it said that stood out was that it’s important to “change your story” because if all you seem to focus on — and declare — is that you are not a morning person, it’s going to be so much harder to change that reality.
You know, there is a good deal of science in these streets to back that negative words give us stress and anxiety while positive thoughts and words can literally alter our reality for the better.
So, if you really want to become a morning person, start believing and declaring that you are one — it might be the most powerful hack of all. Enjoy the shifting, sis. Ultimately, it’s worth it.
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