

Whether you’re someone who happens to be big on making New Year’s resolutions or not, if there is one thing that I definitely think every single reader on our platform should commit to doing in 2022, it’s getting some sound sleep on a consistent basis. Between all of these variants of COVID that are creeping up, the emotional roller coaster rides that keep on coming politically, professionally and financially, compounded with the everyday stress that comes from, shoot, just being a human on planet earth, now, more than ever, sleep has to be treated like it always should have been — an absolutely essential thing to do. Not some of the time but every single day of our lives.
So, how about doing your health and well-being a solid by making the following 10 sleep-related promises to yourself? Without question, being well-rested is one of the surefire ways to handle all that will come your way. That’s pretty much a guarantee. Anyway, on to the promises.
1. “I Will Get No Less Than Six Hours Each Night”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 3 of us do not get enough sleep. And how much should that be? Believe it or not, even as an adult, you should be getting somewhere between 7-9 hours, each and every night for the sake of “recharging” your system. If you don’t, it could eventually lead to things like mood swings; stress; low productivity; poor decision-making; weak immunity; weight gain; lack of balance; a low libido; a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes, and even shortened longevity.
Listen, I know that hectic work schedules, kids, and whatever else you’ve got going on can make being in bed for nine hours seem like a real stretch; that’s why I said “six” in the title. That said, if you’re currently out here getting any less than that, that’s not good and the older you get, the more you’re going to notice it. Again, sleep is not a luxury; it’s a priority. Go into this year making sure that you treat it as such. Everything about you absolutely depends on it. Straight up.
2. “I Will Not Eat or Drink Two Hours Before Bedtime”
If you’re someone who struggles with acid reflux, you can’t account for some of the pounds that you’ve been packing on and/or it drives you crazy that you have to keep getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (especially since sometimes that can make falling back asleep seem damn near impossible), it could be because you are eating too close to bedtime. Consuming foods and drinks less than 2-3 hours before retiring for the night can cause your metabolism to slow down which can make it harder for you to digest your food (which can sometimes trigger heartburn).
Not only that but midnight snacking typically leads to eating foods that are full of sugar (which can keep you up). Plus, it’s pretty much a guarantee that drinking right before bed is going to result in you needing to empty your bladder at some point. So, if you want to sleep more soundly, stay out of the kitchen two hours before bedtime. If you don’t…prepare to deal with the consequences. Literally.
3. “I Will Also Be Intentional About What I Snack on After Dinner”
And what if you’re not prepared to stop snacking before bedtime? You’re grown, chile. Just make sure that you are more intentional about what you put into your mouth. Almonds are high in magnesium which can help to settle your nerves. Kiwi can boost your serotonin levels so that you’re able to fall asleep faster. Cheese and sunflower seeds both have tryptophan in them; this is a good thing because it’s an amino acid that can increase your melatonin levels which is a hormone that helps to regulate your sleeping patterns.
Sweet potatoes are dope because potassium, magnesium, and calcium can lower your blood pressure. Popcorn is a healthy carb that can help to produce more tryptophan in your system. Dark chocolate is loaded with magnesium (which can also keep your circadian rhythms in check). Pineapple is able to boost your melatonin levels too. And while you really should watch the drinking thing, if you must, tart cherry juice has a good amount of melatonin in it, oat milk contains tryptophan, and chamomile tea is great at relaxing you.
4. “I Will Create a Regular Sleep Schedule”
One definition of schedule is “a plan of procedure, usually written, for a proposed objective…”. When it comes to sleep if your “proposed objective” is to get all of the rest that your mind, body, and spirit require, you need to put a plan into action. This includes deciding what time you are going to retire every night, what your “wind down routine” will require and what time you want to wake up the following morning. For instance, if you want to turn in at 10 p.m. each night and get up at 6 a.m. (eight hours), you should give yourself 1-1 ½ hours to get ready.
This can include taking a shower or bath; reading a couple of chapters of your favorite book or listening to a podcast episode; doing some meditating and/or praying; listening to some soothing music; journaling; relaxing with an essential oil diffuser on; having sex (more on that in a bit) — whatever will de-stress you and relax you is ideal. Just keep in mind that the key to making a sleep schedule/routine work for you is that you do it, as consistently as possible, without fail, each and every night…until it becomes a natural habit.
5. “I Will Give Myself a Foot Massage at Least Three Times a Week”
It’s kinda crazy how many people ignore their feet when it comes to getting a good night’s rest. The reason why I say that is because a good foot massage can do everything from increasing blood circulation and easing pain to reducing anxiety and encouraging relaxation. The key to a successful foot massage at night is to apply an essential oil or even some CBD oil to (especially) your soles. The reason why is because there are thousands of pores on your feet (some say as much as 2,000) and they contain some of the largest pores on your entire body; this means that the oils that you put there will absorb into your system faster.
And just what kind of oils are best? Lavender will calm you. Ylang-ylang will slow down your heart rate. Bergamot reduces stress levels. Sandalwood will help to balance out your moods. And peppermint can reduce seasonal allergies so that you can rest more soundly. As far as CBD oil goes (something I’ve been using for my own feet for most of this year), it helps to relieve aches and pains and it works like a sedative which is always a good thing once you’re ready to catch some zzz’s.
For tips on how to give you (or your partner) a proper foot massage, click here and here.
6. “I Will NOT Have Deep Convos Prior to Bedtime”
A few years ago, Elite Daily published an article that said the best time for people to have deep conversations is during the evening hours. The logic is when you are more relaxed, you’re better at listening and communicating. While I understand the logic, my two cents are that “evening” should be no later than dinnertime. Yes, I am a huge fan of pillow talk between couples; still, I don’t think that should mean discussing bills, relationship stresses, or even sexual critiques. Although some people can compartmentalize these types of discussions to the point where they can have them, roll over and then sleep like a baby, most of us (especially people who are overthinkers) cannot.
Bottom line, when it comes to the really deep discussions that tend to take a lot out of you mentally, schedule times, preferably outside of the bedroom to have those. Inside of it, discuss things that create positive vibes and will make the two of you feel closer and safer. It can’t be said enough that a lot of interior decorators believe that bedrooms should ONLY be for sex and sleep; definitely not low-key business meetings or draining debates. Personally, I couldn’t agree more.
7. “I Will Not Use My Phone As a Way to Fall Asleep”
I’ve got a girlfriend who is a literal insomniac. She’s not really helping matters either because she is pretty much glued to her phone. She falls asleep looking at it and if she happens to get up in the middle of the night, she won’t go back to bed without peeking at the screen first. Yeah, that’s a real problem because not only does whatever intel she may see on her phone increase her chances of becoming preoccupied as her mind gets to racing but the blue light that comes from her phone screen can actually disrupt the melatonin production within her system.
I promise you that whatever is happening on your phone will be right there, waiting for you, come morning. So, unless you’ve got some folks within your home who are traveling or there’s a sick person who you are checking on and you want to leave the phone on in case of emergencies, there’s no need for your ringer to be on. Shoot, here’s a novel concept — how about turning it completely off until morning? (Close your mouth, it is indeed possible. LOL.)
8. “I Will Incorporate More ASMR”
If you’ve ever wondered what ASMR stands for, it’s Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. And what the heck does that mean? Well, a nickname for ASMR that might make more sense is “brain massage.” Yep, when you watch or listen to an ASMR video, it literally massages your brain in a way that activates the production of hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins — all of which are beneficial to you getting a good night’s rest.
For the past couple of years, I’ve been sleeping to the sound of rain falling and it has only taken my quality of sleep to another level. So, even if it’s not in your budget to cop an ASMR machine, at least hop onto YouTube to listen to the rain, wind, fans, ocean waves, or some other nature sound that can calm you, drown out outside noise, and take your quality of sleep to an entirely new level. (Just go to YouTube and put ASMR and the sound you are looking for into the search field. A lot of them will run for 7-10 hours without any commercial breaks.)
9. “I Will Sleep Naked More Often”
For many years, I’ve slept without any panties on, just so that my vagina can “breathe” (check out “What Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often”). But it’s only been the past few years or so that I’ve been sleeping completely naked and boy — I really wish I’d been doing it for all of my adult life! On this platform, we’re such a fan of it that an entire article has been devoted to why it’s such a smart thing to do (check out “Yes, Sleeping Naked Could Help Your Anxiety & Sleep Pattern”).
Some of the perks that aren’t mentioned in this piece include the fact that sleeping in the nude can put you in a better mood, boost your metabolism, help you to maintain healthy skin, improve infertility (for both men and women) and most definitely increase your chances of gettin’ a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ if you happen to have someone in the bed with you. When you sit and think about all of the ways that sleeping naked can benefit you, it’s kinda crazy that only roughly 29 percent of people do it with only around 17 percent who do it every night. Still, if there is ever a time when you should want to be the exception and not the rule, sleeping in your birthday suit should most definitely top the list.
10. “Sex Will Become More of a Constant at Nighttime”
If you’re currently practicing abstinence or there isn’t a “contender” in your life right now, I’ll just say that this is a promise that you should make to yourself whenever the time is right. For the rest of you, though, definitely check out “Why Couples Should Engage In ‘Midnight Sex’ More Often” and seriously consider taking it to heart. The reason why I say that is because, if there is one act that can relax your body, calm your senses and make you feel safe and sound all night long, it’s sex — sex right before going to sleep.
For men, it increases their prolactin levels which can make them super drowsy, and for us, after sex, our estrogen levels tend to get a boost which can result in our REM cycle enhancing which can definitely help us to sleep so much better. Hmph. Not like any of us should need another reason to get it in more often, but if more sleep is what you’re after, more sex can certainly help you out. Happy New Year, y’all!
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Egypt Sherrod & Mike Jackson On Love, Business, And Financial Transparency On The First Date
Egypt Sherrod and Mike Jackson have captivated us on their HGTV show, Married to Real Estate, and podcast Marriage and Money.
Now, they have teamed up with TurboTax to assist small business owners with tax and financial support. The couple met while working in radio, and now they own multiple businesses together. While working with your spouse can have its ups and downs, they wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Besides the fact that I get to work with the person I love doing what I love to do, right? There's the aspect of our daughters, seeing us work together as a unit and actually doing it successful,” Mike tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview
“So they get to grow up and experience what it is to be entrepreneurs from ground level, right? Because Mom and Dad did it, and they did it in such a way that I want to emulate, even if they don't decide to do exactly what we do, but they get to see it. That, to me, means a lot.”
But owning a business, whether separate or together, comes with a lot of responsibility and mistakes can often happen, especially for novice entrepreneurs. Egypt opens up about mistakes her and Mike experienced working in real estate.
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us,” she says.
“So our goal by partnering with TurboTax is to really open the eyes of fellow entrepreneurs, to show them that, especially when it comes to your finances, your taxes, and getting that right, there is a faster, more cost effective, more accurate way of getting the support that you need.”
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us."
Being tax compliant is among small business owners’ top concerns, but it's often time-consuming and research-intensive to figure out taxes on your own. TurboTax Business provides small business owners and solopreneurs access to unlimited live expert help to get your taxes prepared and filed.
When it comes to their marriage, the money conversation never goes away. The couple owns six businesses together, multiple properties, and are parents to three daughters. So when it comes down to finances, they believe in transparency, even dating back to their first date 21 years ago.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?,” Mike says. “Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
At the time, Mike was newly divorced and had a small child. Egypt says she found his honesty “refreshing” and was looking for someone to build with, so his finances weren’t a problem for her. “If you're building anything, and that's like, first, second, third date, and you feel like, okay, this is someone I can be invested with, even beyond money, you have to just be honest about your circumstances,” Egypt shares.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?. Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
“Otherwise you're building a house of cards that can fall at any minute, but I think money is one of the things. Finances are one of the things that even when people are in love, they still can't make it work and it breaks up marriages. It breaks up relationships because it's a stressor.
“So, yeah it is something that you want to ask about up front. What's your credit? How much do you earn? You don't have to be rich, but I just need to know if if the math is mathing.”
While they don’t believe you should have the money conversation on the first date, they do believe you should have it early to avoid any misunderstandings down the line.
To hear more about their story, check out their podcast, Marriage and Money and watch the new season of Married to Real Estate on HGTV.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
“So they get to grow up and experience what it is to be entrepreneurs from ground level, right? Because Mom and Dad did it, and they did it in such a way that I want to emulate, even if they don't decide to do exactly what we do, but they get to see it. That, to me, means a lot.”
But owning a business, whether separate or together, comes with a lot of responsibility and mistakes can often happen, especially for novice entrepreneurs. Egypt opens up about mistakes her and Mike experienced working in real estate.
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us,” she says.
“So our goal by partnering with TurboTax is to really open the eyes of fellow entrepreneurs, to show them that, especially when it comes to your finances, your taxes, and getting that right, there is a faster, more cost effective, more accurate way of getting the support that you need.”
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us."
Being tax compliant is among small business owners’ top concerns, but it's often time-consuming and research-intensive to figure out taxes on your own. TurboTax Business provides small business owners and solopreneurs access to unlimited live expert help to get your taxes prepared and filed.
When it comes to their marriage, the money conversation never goes away. The couple owns six businesses together, multiple properties, and are parents to three daughters. So when it comes down to finances, they believe in transparency, even dating back to their first date 21 years ago.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?,” Mike says. “Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
At the time, Mike was newly divorced and had a small child. Egypt says she found his honesty “refreshing” and was looking for someone to build with, so his finances weren’t a problem for her. “If you're building anything, and that's like, first, second, third date, and you feel like, okay, this is someone I can be invested with, even beyond money, you have to just be honest about your circumstances,” Egypt shares.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?. Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
“Otherwise you're building a house of cards that can fall at any minute, but I think money is one of the things. Finances are one of the things that even when people are in love, they still can't make it work and it breaks up marriages. It breaks up relationships because it's a stressor.
“So, yeah it is something that you want to ask about up front. What's your credit? How much do you earn? You don't have to be rich, but I just need to know if if the math is mathing.”
While they don’t believe you should have the money conversation on the first date, they do believe you should have it early to avoid any misunderstandings down the line.
To hear more about their story, check out their podcast, Marriage and Money and watch the new season of Married to Real Estate on HGTV.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy