Tour Multifaceted Creative McKenzie Renae’s Dope ATL Abode
In xoNecole's quarterly series Dope Abodes, we tour the living spaces of millennial women, where they dwell, how they live, and the things they choose to adorn and share their spaces with.
It's a warm summer's day when McKenzie Renae invites us into her home.
Upon entering, the young creative has an instantly inviting aura that her space also reflects. Soft candles are lit, and on her speaker is the new H.E.R. record that just dropped, providing the perfect ambience to her undeniably dope abode. Whether it's for her hair or her sense of style, McKenzie has made waves on the internet as a woman to follow. And as we take in a tour of her place, we are reminded that the Atlanta-based multi-hyphenate (who also contributes to xoNecole from time to time) is the host of a wealth of knowledge on styling, a fact that effortlessly lends itself to her overall decor aesthetic.
McKenzie Renae
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography/xoNecole
"My favorite thing about my home is that I feel like it's me," McKenzie shared with us. "I've lived in two different apartments and I was finding my style, but I really feel that this is really a reflection of who I am, and I feel really good about walking home every day. It's just a feel-good feeling. I don't have a favorite piece, it's just the feeling I get when I come home."
In addition to an apartment tour, xoNecole was able to see the full extent of the magic behind her eye for flair while getting some backstory on the pieces she chose to live with her in her Buckhead condo.
Something Blue
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography
"I styled everything [in my apartment] around this one sofa. I knew I wanted a royal blue tufted sofa. That's what I wanted, and I searched high and low for it. That's the first thing I started with and everything else I designed around that one sofa. I love it. I got it from Arhaus. It's my one investment piece in the entire house," she laughed. "And then everything just kind of came around it."
Barbie Dreams
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography
"These Barbie dolls on the wall are actually vintage Barbies that I got in New York when I went for my birthday this year. They had all different kind of layouts, like Barbies on the beach, and it's all vintage," she recalled fondly. "I thought it was kinda cool because he had black Barbies."
Off the Wall
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography
"I bought this Michael Jackson piece at American Signature Furniture. I thought it was really cool and I really wanted a big piece of art. Big art is expensive and I'm a newbie at figuring out what my taste in art is, so I thought this was cool. The graffiti on top of Michael and the crown - I really liked it. It was a great deal and I just had to have it. It was perfect for the wall. I want to say I got this table from Overstock.com. And I think I got the chair from the same website."
Tunnel Vision
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography
"I wanted my vision boards to really speak to me - not just be thrown up there. Visuals are everything to me, so it needs to look nice, look neat, and make sense. I have it organized in certain ways on the vision board, and different words that stand out to me, and the gold that's on there - just to kind of make it look more like art so that it's not so temporary. Because I feel like your visions can last, it doesn't just have to apply to one year," McKenzie reflected.
BOSS
Photo By: Sanniyah Sloan Photography
"I love my desk area the most. My desk in my office is actually a vintage desk that I redid." She continued, "It's comfy in here, it's quiet in here. I write in here a lot. I read in here a lot. I like to create vision boards and stuff like that. I create my jeans in here. I take a lot of my product shots in here when I'm doing reviews. It's also my guest room when I have guests over."
Keep up with McKenzie by following her on Instagram.
Click through the gallery below to tour her dope abode, as well as some of the intimate details that make her apartment feel like home:
Photos By Sanniyah Sloan Photography for xoNecole
Originally published on April 6, 2019
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images