We've all been loving the extra love, attention, and support black culture has been getting lately. Who can be mad at more focus put on supporting racial equality, black inclusion, and black business? Some of us have been on the support train and are OGs at carrying that torch while others are just now pulling up a seat at the diversity table. Nevertheless, the ugly faces of police brutality and racism have sparked a movement where people of color are being applauded, loved on, and appreciated. Our voices, perspectives, businesses and brands are being amplified. (It's about time, don't you think?)
With the huge focus on racial injustice and black culture right now, we're all yearning for more and more black boy and girl joy, and doll-maker Yelitsa Jean-Charles, founder of Healthy Roots Dolls, has dropped more than her contribution in the bucket with Zoe, a doll she hopes will continue to inspire little girls to love themselves.
"The country is hurting and healing, and people are having really important conversations around race, representation, and what equity looks like," the 26-year-old entrepreneur told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "As a black business owner, that means a lot of people are passing the mic and [talking about us] because they recognize how important it is to support not only black businesses but businesses that are doing the work in terms of creating moments to talk about identity and changing the narrative for the future."
Courtesy of Yelitsa Jean-Charles
It's been proven that our early interaction with dolls can have major effects on our self-perception, self-esteem, as well as our communications and socializing skills, and though we've come a long way in terms of brown dolls in rotation, there's always room for improvement in representing today's diversity. Jean-Charles had her own experience as a little girl who wanted dolls that looked more like her. She had to the opportunity to find a creative outlet in college for a project where she reimagined the popular folklore character Rapunzel as a brown girl with kinky curly hair.
"My classmates said, 'This looks so much like a doll.' I took the idea to Facebook and realized a lot of people have these experiences where we didn't have dolls that looked like us growing up," Jean-Charles recalled. "True, they had brown skin, but you have to do so much more than paint [a doll] brown to connect with children. Creating a doll with hair that children could wash and style to learn how to love themselves was the next step for us so we created Zoe."
Courtesy of Yelitsa Jean-Charles
"I had that conversation on social, realized there was a problem, and the next natural step was to do some research to find the solution. I applied for the Brown University Social Innovation Fellowship. I presented the problem and [expressed that] my doll was the solution to the fact that kids don't have products that represent them. They gave me $4,000 to work on the company that summer, which was enough capital to support ourselves---the small team we had---in addition to doing some guerilla marketing to find out whether there was a need for this product. Can we get people to buy it?"
Jean-Charles would then be accepted into an accelerator program where she and her team developed a Kickstarter campaign and attracted $50,000 in pre-sales for the first version of Zoe. They've since relaunched the doll, partnered with My Black Is Beautiful for a product line that children can use on both their hair and Zoe's, and the demand has grown even more from there.
As campaigns were sparked online to promote black-owned brands and businesses, Jean-Charles found herself right in the middle of it with a recent tweet about Zoe that went viral. It was retweeted more than 135,000 times and got more than 1 million likes.
"We've been building an audience for the past five years, so Healthy Roots Dolls isn't an overnight success, but now if you didn't know us, now you know!" she said with a laugh. "We had already sold out the week before the tweet went viral, and I had just worked with the team to transition the website for pre-orders. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or not, but I'm so glad I did not close the website before the tweet went up. Our Instagram following doubled, my own personal Instagram following tripled, the company's following tripled as well, and now we have thousands of new [supporters]."
Jean-Charles said she and her team have been discussing strategy for keeping up with the high demand, preparing for the upcoming winter holiday season, and remaining close to her customers---old and new.
"I think this was ideal timing so that we could properly prepare for the demand we can expect based on the popularity of our product. It's a great way for us to measure the impact and measure demand and show people, 'Hey, this is not just niche.' Our dolls are for children who love dolls. It's all about giving children options, and by doing that you're helping unpack the issues that we have in our culture and in our society about race and identity by exposing them the people they will interact with in the world. Healthy Roots is in a position, ideally, [to offer] products that can do that. That makes me happy because I know the long-term impact we will have in making sure that everyone is treated equally and fairly and everyone is loved."
For more of Yelitsa, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Yelitsa Jean-Charles
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
