What do you get when you bring together an outspoken actor/R&B singer, and an equally hilarious reverend for a show about sex, love and relationships? Some dirty talk that will even have Jesus on the edge of his throne sipping on some holy water! #FixUsJesus
R&B artist, Tyrese Gibson, and hip-hop legend, Rev Run, are making their way to the small screen with their new talk show series It’s Not You, It’s Men (I know that’s right! Tuh).
The show, which will air on OWN on Jan. 23, promises to be full of laughs, thrills and probably some inappropriate conversations that will have you clutching your pearls from your living room (unless you're on that Foxy Brown "ill na na" wave).
Plus, you know whenever Auntie Oprah puts her stamp of approval on something, it’s going to be big! The media mogul gave us a sneak peak of the new series from the "odd couple" duo, who released their bestselling relationship book "Man-ology" back in 2013.
Let's just say we are ready to tune in to their views on modern love, monogamy, dating, and of course SEX! Here's a few reasons why it's okay to turn your Saturday Netflix and Chill session into a sex-education course for two.
Tyrese has no chill, and will keep things heated.
If you follow Tyrese on Twitter, then you already know that he has no filter. It's not uncommon for his followers to give him a strong side-eye after his controversial commentary hits the Twittersphere.
His strong ideas on life and love will most certainly make for great discussions in the studio, and at home for viewers. In truth, Tyrese's status as a single father who is still involved in the dating game, versus a married Rev Run whose marriage mantras extend further than the size of his large family, will result in some very entertaining conversation.
But here's the kicker: Tyrese has already had a head start in riling up potential viewers with his rhetoric, and the show hasn't even aired yet. When asked in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter what's one mistake that women make too early in the relationship, he said:
"They talk too much..."
"It's simple: ladies I love you to death, but shut up! Stop telling all your business to random guys that you meet. You don't know what's gonna happen in this particular relationship: he might be sexy, tall, charming, charismatic. But all of the drama--dysfunction from your childhood, all of the abusive relationships, being cheated on and lied to, going into details about what didn't work in relationships in the past--becomes too much information....You're trying to emotionally hook him in, and all he wants to do is have sex with you, if that's the case. So just keep it simple, laugh, have fun, enjoy yourself--but shut up!"
If you wanted to know how to "Think Like A Man", well there you go!
They're getting Black Twitter Involved, and they have no chill either.
According to Variety Magazine, "social-media platforms will also galvanize America to ask them their most intimate questions about relationships, marriage and sex."
I could only imagine what kind of outlandish questions will set off another trending topic. For instance, should we be following the Erykah Badu cherry juice diet to make our pum pum's taste like Starbursts? How many men are REALLY eating booty like groceries? Inquiring minds want to know!
I'm sure Tyrese and the Reverend will be weighing in with what men are really into behind closed doors. Or shoot, in public if you're nasty!
We actually get to hear from a man with a successful relationship.
No shade, but there's a lot of people giving relationship and marriage advice without being married--or in relationships, let alone successful ones. And not that their opinions aren't valid, but it's nice to actually hear some tried and true tips from Rev Run, who has been married to wife Justine Simmons for more than two decades. We've watched the Simmons family master the art of marriage on national TV for three seasons, and in a reality television world that thrives off of unnecessary drama and ignorance, that's quite an accomplishment!
Rev Run is always spitting wisdom.
From his commentary on Twitter, to his radio interviews, you have to admit that the man drops knowledge, no matter how uncomfortable you are with watching a grown man take a bubble bath while recording his thoughts about life in his smartphone.
Having grown up in the entertainment industry, and raising six kids in the public eye, I think it's safe to say that Rev Run probably knows a thing or two about keeping the fire burning without burning up or burning out your relationship.
Celebrities, celebrities, celebrities, oh my!
In addition to hearing the two long-time friend's varying opinions on different relationship topics, we also get to hear from an equally diverse handful of celebrity guests. Justine Simmons, Tisha Campbell-Martin, Vin Diesel, Rev Run, Jordin Sparks, Marlon Wayans, Evelyn Lozada, and the queen of "fixing your life", Iyanla Vanzant, are just a few familiar faces who will be visiting the show. Each guest has their own varying backgrounds in love, with relatable stories from their married, single, or dating love lives.
Any show that acknowledges that it's not not necessarily women, but it's men, is already starting on the right path.
Finally! Someone gets it!
Check out a sneak peak of "It's Not You, It's Men" below, then set your DVRs for Jan. 23rd at 8pm EST on OWN.
Will be tuning in? Let us know in the comments.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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