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Confession: I'm Too Tired To Have Sex

Sex Stories

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a twenty-something-year-old me full of energy, positivity, and the desire to prove a point the way I rode somebody during sex.


Fast forward to now, still a twenty-something-year-old but so exhausted that I have fallen asleep while trying to masturbate. I mean, I roll my eyes at razors, and who can blame me?

I'm chasing around a three-year-old, juggling a full-time school schedule, and trying to get my work off the ground and running. The idea of having to put energy into anything other than sleeping when I'm in my bed makes me yawn even louder. As the days go by, I find myself incredibly too tired for sex.

There are so many things I have to take into consideration and plan for before doing the do, that it doesn't even seem worth it anymore. Here's why:

I Co-Sleep With My Kid.

So that's one of the biggest challenges for me, my child. I only have two nights a week to get some booty if I really wanted to. However, I'm also poor and have one comforter...so that means if anyone other than my daughter is in my bed, a trip to the laundry mat is needed before baby girl comes home. Which means I have to carry things, and load them, and unload them, and wash them, and dry them, and fold them...I need a nap just thinking about it. Then I really start to think about it, and it's like, all of this for what? Is sex really worth all of this? I don't think so.

My Body Is A Jungle Land.

Shaving is exhausting, it's draining really. Also, once you shave something, you have to shave it forever and it's just a never-ending process. Let's also throw in the fact that my Los Angeles studio guesthouse comes fully equipped with nothing short of a stand-up shower - no tub, no nothing to put a leg up on to assist. Sure, there are guys out there that don't care at all but they are rare. I'd rather just, not shave at all and remain abstinent until I muster up the energy to shave or grow the balls to get waxed.

My Favorite Show Is On.

Who doesn't get home from a long day of work and stress and want to lay or sit down in front of the television to get a dose of their favorite guilty pleasures? Other people's dramas take the stress of my own off of my back for thirty- to sixty-minute increments of programming. This is an awesome way to decompress after a long day, but it does put me in a rather lethargic mood consequently setting me up for not wanting to have sex.

How Long Will He Go?

I kind of wish, right before you consented to sex, there was something that allowed you to view how long it was going to take a guy to orgasm. If that was available, I might consider making some serious changes to my sexual activity levels. Anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes is perfect for me, and doesn't take too much energy, nor leave the sheets too filthy and sweaty. However, it always seems that when I am my most tired, I find myself with someone running a never-ending penis marathon that I cannot wait to end.

Babies.

Sex leads to babies. Even protected sex can lead to babies, I know firsthand. If I'm too tired to shave, I am most certainly too tired to have another one of those running around all of the time.

The Unspoken Recovery Period.

Depending on how good the sex was, it can take one to two business days to fully recover from the act. You might need a full day worth of sleep, some ice packs, and if you were drinking before things popped off, you might even be hungover. No one has this time to lose when they are out in the world trying to be productive and get things done.

The bottom line is that sex is draining. And unfortunately, these days, I just don't find myself with a high enough energy level or interest for it! Maybe one day I will come across the perfect sexual match or even partner. Right now, I'm content with maintaining the right amount of energy to make it through my own hectic schedule and sleeping comfortably alone at the end of every evening.

No need to give up time with my kid, add on to the potential of having another one, razor bumps, and some good old rest for one night of decent company and fake orgasms.

Featured image by Getty Images

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
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Featured image by Shutterstock

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