Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a twenty-something-year-old me full of energy, positivity, and the desire to prove a point the way I rode somebody during sex.
Fast forward to now, still a twenty-something-year-old but so exhausted that I have fallen asleep while trying to masturbate. I mean, I roll my eyes at razors, and who can blame me?
I'm chasing around a three-year-old, juggling a full-time school schedule, and trying to get my work off the ground and running. The idea of having to put energy into anything other than sleeping when I'm in my bed makes me yawn even louder. As the days go by, I find myself incredibly too tired for sex.
There are so many things I have to take into consideration and plan for before doing the do, that it doesn't even seem worth it anymore. Here's why:
I Co-Sleep With My Kid.
So that's one of the biggest challenges for me, my child. I only have two nights a week to get some booty if I really wanted to. However, I'm also poor and have one comforter...so that means if anyone other than my daughter is in my bed, a trip to the laundry mat is needed before baby girl comes home. Which means I have to carry things, and load them, and unload them, and wash them, and dry them, and fold them...I need a nap just thinking about it. Then I really start to think about it, and it's like, all of this for what? Is sex really worth all of this? I don't think so.
My Body Is A Jungle Land.
Shaving is exhausting, it's draining really. Also, once you shave something, you have to shave it forever and it's just a never-ending process. Let's also throw in the fact that my Los Angeles studio guesthouse comes fully equipped with nothing short of a stand-up shower - no tub, no nothing to put a leg up on to assist. Sure, there are guys out there that don't care at all but they are rare. I'd rather just, not shave at all and remain abstinent until I muster up the energy to shave or grow the balls to get waxed.
My Favorite Show Is On.
Who doesn't get home from a long day of work and stress and want to lay or sit down in front of the television to get a dose of their favorite guilty pleasures? Other people's dramas take the stress of my own off of my back for thirty- to sixty-minute increments of programming. This is an awesome way to decompress after a long day, but it does put me in a rather lethargic mood consequently setting me up for not wanting to have sex.
How Long Will He Go?
I kind of wish, right before you consented to sex, there was something that allowed you to view how long it was going to take a guy to orgasm. If that was available, I might consider making some serious changes to my sexual activity levels. Anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes is perfect for me, and doesn't take too much energy, nor leave the sheets too filthy and sweaty. However, it always seems that when I am my most tired, I find myself with someone running a never-ending penis marathon that I cannot wait to end.
Sex leads to babies. Even protected sex can lead to babies, I know firsthand. If I'm too tired to shave, I am most certainly too tired to have another one of those running around all of the time.
The Unspoken Recovery Period.
Depending on how good the sex was, it can take one to two business days to fully recover from the act. You might need a full day worth of sleep, some ice packs, and if you were drinking before things popped off, you might even be hungover. No one has this time to lose when they are out in the world trying to be productive and get things done.
The bottom line is that sex is draining. And unfortunately, these days, I just don't find myself with a high enough energy level or interest for it! Maybe one day I will come across the perfect sexual match or even partner. Right now, I'm content with maintaining the right amount of energy to make it through my own hectic schedule and sleeping comfortably alone at the end of every evening.
No need to give up time with my kid, add on to the potential of having another one, razor bumps, and some good old rest for one night of decent company and fake orgasms.
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