

Getting engaged is a really special time in a couple's life. Hmph. Let me tell it, a lot of folks miss out on just how beautiful that season can be because they are so busy "acting married" before the proposal (meaning, they put marriage expectations on each other without being married yet), then they are rushing to get down the altar once it happens. According to many marriage therapists and counselors, it's a good idea to wait between nine months to a year to officially say "I do" (over two years oftentimes means that somebody isn't really ready yet). To a large extent, I would agree. That's because the season of engagement isn't just about planning a wedding; it's also when two people shift from seriously dating to being intentional about becoming husband and wife. That requires a different kind of focus and energy.
A couple of years ago, I wrote "The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have" for any two people who are considering going from casual dating to something more exclusive. In some ways, this is an extension of that. If this feels like the year that you and your boo thang are ready to take your relationship to another level, please be certain that you are both on the same page when it comes to the following seven issues. The future of your marriage—and sanity—will depend on it.
1. Knowing Why You Both Want to Get Married
Something that I find really interesting is when, say a company does some racist BS to someone and the person demands a public apology. Once the story gets enough press, oftentimes the company will relent (more like concede). Then that same person will shop in that same store again. What in the world? The only reason the company apologized was that, while they still don't like our blackness, what they do appreciate is our green. The "sorry" is insincere. They need to feel it where it hurts—their pockets.
I might step on some toes with this, but I'd rather help people to not prematurely get engaged than end up in divorce court a couple of years later. Take a deep breath, now. About half of the married men (some of which are divorced now) who I know told me that while they were dating, an ultimatum was given by their girlfriend. A literal, "If you don't propose, I'm outta here." I know folks like to romanticize ultimatums 'n all but, to me, they are nothing more than a threat. Marry me or else? Why would you want a man who feels like he has to be forced to choose you?
That's why, when it comes to the things that are important for a couple to ponder before getting engaged, what tops my list is WHY they want to jump the broom at all. Not just why the woman wants to but why the man does as well. And if his answer is a simple (or even flippant), "What do you mean? Because I love her"—listen, you can love a lot of people and still not be ready to share your entire life with them until death parts you. You need a little bit more of a reason than that and it also needs to include you not being pressured into doing it. If the follow-up response is, "Reasons, like what?", let's keep going.
2. Knowing (and Understand) Each Other’s Purpose
I think I've shared before that when my mother was carrying me, she had plans to name me "Ryan" whether I was a boy or a girl (Ryan means "little leader", by the way). She said that when I came out, though, God told her to name me "Shellie". For years, I didn't get that until an Israeli woman told me in my 30s that my name meant "Mine; Belonging to Me" in Hebrew. Then I read Ezekiel 16 about covenants and dots started to immediately connect. Now that I'm a marriage life coach, doula and writer on relationships, my name—and the fact that in Hebrew and African culture, names speak to one's purpose—makes so much sense. My purpose in this life is all about helping people to embrace covenant-based relationships in a world that seems to do any and everything but. And you know what this means for me personally? It means that my future husband will absolutely have to complement my purpose as well.
For the record, complementing me doesn't mean that "he" has to do what I do; after all, my future Black king has his own reason for why God put him on this planet. Complementing me and my purpose simply means that he supports it, he seeks to understand it and he most definitely doesn't throw obstacles up in the way to hinder it (check out "Ever Wonder If Your Man Is Actually Holding You Back In Life?"). You know, I work with a lot of couples who are in trouble because one or both of them doesn't really respect what their partner does in the realm of their purpose, or they try and "compete" with the passion that their partner has for their calling. That's not good because if you are in the way of someone's purpose for being here, you aren't being a suitable fit.
I don't care how in love you are. If you're in a serious relationship right now, spend a significant amount of time discussing what your purposes are and if you both are willing to rally around each other. If you're not sure, at the very least, wait. Purpose is essential to one's health and well-being. Marriage should never compromise it.
3. Discussing Religion and Politics
A couple of years back, I wrote an article for this platform that addressed the fact that currently, 4 out of 10 marriages are interfaith. Now for the Christians who frown on that, it bears remembering that biblical couples like Ruth (Moabite) and Boaz (Hebrew) and Esther (Hebrew) and King Xerses (pagan) were interfaith and they helped to change the trajectory of history. Still, it didn't come without some big-time sacrifices—and that reality continues to ring true today.
One of the closest people to me is in an interfaith marriage. It has affected everything from her going to church alone and a lot of their views on child-rearing to how they observe holidays and resolve conflict. The fact that they are still together is a testament to their love; however, the wife has told me often that if she had known just how much their faith systems clashed, they would've probably remained just friends.
As far as politics go, I've got another friend who's been married for a few decades now. She's an independent and her husband is a Republican (a Black Republican). When I tell you that last year was super bumpy for their marriage, that is an understatement because here's the thing—your political views say a lot about your values.
I don't know who it was who came up with the rule that you shouldn't discuss religion and politics with other people but I'm over here like, whatever. When it comes to the individuals who are close to you (and it doesn't get any closer than an actual spouse), you'd betta! Your life running smoothly and peacefully depends on these two things—more than you would probably ever imagine.
4. Talking About the Expectations for the Relationship
I've got another friend who once said something to me that I didn't really like hearing at first (because I used to be this kind of person) yet it holds loads of wisdom. When I was ranting about a guy in my life not doing what I thought he should be doing, she calmly said, "Says who? Shellie, 'should' is a really big word." What she meant by that was, just because I had a certain level of expectation based on what I would or wouldn't do, that didn't automatically mean that he needed to be faulted for seeing things very differently.
Ever since that chat, I've come to get that a lot of the "should-ing" that I used to do was more about my ego than anything else. Now, what I've learned to do is communicate, almost ad nauseum, what my needs are in a relationship—any kind of relationship—and then let people decide if they want to meet them or not. If not, there's no point in bitching and complaining about it. It simply means that we need to relate to each other on a different kind of level.
Whenever I'm working with an engaged couple, something that I like to share with them is "276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY". Usually when I do, the first thing they will ask is, "You really want us to ask each other almost 300 questions?!" Umm…yeah. You're really going to share a name, house and life with someone yet you're not making sure you know as much about them as possible? Including what they expect from you and the marriage?
You can love someone all day long and still come to realize that you should be guests at each other's wedding rather than the couple standing at the altar. A part of what can bring you to this conclusion is if you can't meet each other's expectations. Which you can only know if you thoroughly discuss them. Please make sure that you do.
5. Establishing Family/Friend Boundaries
It's one thing to be with a man who loves his mama. It's another thing for him to be a mama's boy. What's the difference? That's an article all on its own. For now, I'll say that if the man in your life doesn't get that once he has a wife, his mother is no longer his number one priority (when it comes to the women in his world) and/or his mother doesn't get that and he doesn't set boundaries until she does—that's a mama's boy.
I dig the Bible. I really do. What Genesis 2:24-25 tells us is when a man's wife is brought to him (in the Garden of Eden, Adam did not chase his wife; she was brought to him by the Lord—Genesis 2:22), he is to leave his mother and father and cling to his bride. God is all about boundaries in a marriage. Couples should be as well because a boundary is a limit and when you decide to take on a spouse, there should absolutely be mutually agreed upon limits that are set when it comes to your close relationships with other people. What should and shouldn't be discussed. What other folks' expectations should be now that you're functioning as a unit. How to deal with toxic family members. Stuff like that.
I've heard many people who have conflict with the person they are dating's family say, "Well, when we get married, I'm not marrying their family." You aren't. However, if they don't have some boundaries in place, those loved ones can affect—and even infect—your marriage in ways that you would never expected. Set those jokers now. It is one of the wisest moves you could ever make.
6. Being Aware of Each Other’s Financial History and Spending Habits
Do you know something that I request couples who are considering getting married share up front? Their credit history. Do you know how many people get pissed whenever I do? Most of 'em. Now how in the world do you think that you are ready to say "I do" and you think that your credit—credit that is going to directly affect your future spouse's lifestyle—is none of your partner's business?
Another "ouch" that a lot of folks don't want to deal with is the fact that there is some truth to a person's financial history and current spending habits speaking volumes when it comes to their character. After all, bills are basically promissory notes. When you say you are going to pay something, you should (the IRS and I have this chat semi-often…SMDH). You know, there's a recently divorced woman that I know who irrevocably broke her husband's trust because she was good for getting credit cards without his knowledge, racking up thousands in debt, and because her selfishness and recklessness had a direct impact on his credit, he would end up paying all of her debt off. Not one time. Multiple times. She is financially suspect as hell.
The IRS is the only place where I struggle. It's because, as a freelancer, I failed to get an accountant and pay quarterly for years. Now that I'm getting all of that together, I have no desire to marry until the debt is clear. It's because personally, I want to be a blessing to my future husband; not a burden straight out of the gate.
Everyone is different. Just make sure that you and your partner are very open about what your finances are like, what your views on money tend to be, and what your future financial plans and goals are. A top cause of divorce is financial mayhem. Get your coin perspective out of the way so that you don't end up being a statistic.
7. Stating Your Deal-Breakers
Honestly, if you're planning to take the sacredness of marriage seriously, there should be very few deal-breakers after you're husband and wife. That's because "for better or for worse" isn't about you getting mad one day or your partner disappointing you from time to time. Marriage is serious. Oh, but when you're still single—and to me, that is the case until your tax documents say otherwise—you can have as many deal-breakers as you want. At the end of the day, a deal-breaker is something that can't be compromised or negotiated. It doesn't matter how much you love someone. It doesn't matter how much you want to be with them. Your deal-breaker is where you firmly draw the line.
Sadly, a lot of people are so caught up in "being in love" that they either don't set or they romanticize their deal-breakers until after getting married. Please don't do that. Figure out where you are unwilling to bend when it comes to values, roles in a marriage, sex, your partner's relationships with others (especially those of the opposite sex), children, and anything else where compromise just can't happen.
You know, I get so tired of people acting like marriage is some sort of burden to bear. Marriage is absolutely beautiful—when two mature and emotionally intelligent people know that it's something that needs to be taken seriously. Very seriously. If engagement is on the horizon, hopefully these points will help you and yours to understand whether you both do or not. So that you can choose wisely—either way.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Feature image courtesy
Earlier this week, I took a male friend of mine out for a belated birthday lunch. We both work in media, so we always have a lot — and I mean, A LOT — to talk about. Anyway, since we both were in our 20s in the 90s, we found ourselves discussing how blessed—yes, BLESSED—we were to have had the kind of R&B that that decade provided. Chile, I would provide a list of examples; however, there is not enough time or space, plus, I don’t want y’all yelling at me in the comments because I inadvertently left someone out.
Anyway, as we were also talking about how, let’s go with ho-hum, a lot of R&B is right now, especially when it comes to the lack of seduction that the genre used to have back in the day, I shared with him a joke that I once heard from comedian Deon Cole as he was comparing After 7 to today’s music. I’m actually going to post it below, so that you can get the full effect. LOL.
Video credit: @netflixisajoke
And that made me think of The Whispers and their throwback song, “In the Mood.” The real ones recall the lyrics: “Let me rub your shoulders (just relax)/Just let go/Slip on somethin' sexy/It's all right, baby, let me take control, hoo/ Step into the shower/I'll wash your back and you'll wash mine/Please stay for one more hour/I just want to make sweet love to you and feel you one more time….This is what I do to get you in the mood…Baby, I do it all to get you in the mood.” Ah, yes, music that sounds like intimacy instead of getting banged out.
And that made me want to ask a few women about what gets them in the mood as it directly relates to bedroom action, along with what, well, doesn’t. Check out what they said and then hop in the comments to share your own thoughts.
It’s always fascinating to hear about women’s sexual turn-ons and turn-offs.
*Middle names are always used, so that people can speak freely*
1. Areyla. Single. 34.
TURN ON: “I’ve always been drawn to two things: how a man smells and how crisp his line-up is. You bring a man to me who smells earthy and sexy whenever I hug him, and then he has the nerve to have a fresh haircut — girl, I am all over him! I think that it mostly has to do with those things being a sign of self-care, in a meticulous way. And if you’re into the details of you, I have no question that you will be into the details of me.”
TURN OFF: “Dirty fingernails. I have a natural curve in my own nails, so I get that it’s not always about a lack of hygiene or that he’s negligent. I just know that if you want your hands to go into certain places and spaces, you’ve got to get up under those nails, babe. I keep metal files and nail brushes in my bathroom because of it.”
2. Dachelle. Dating. 29.
TURN ON: “There are dirty talkers, then there are sensual speakers. I don’t need you to sound like you transcribed a porn video during sex. I do like when a man drops his voice an octave, speaks barely above a whisper, and asks me questions like, ‘So, what do you want me to do to you tonight? Be specific.’ And don’t let him have a strong vocabulary! I am definitely a sapiosexual, so the more intentional he is with his words, the better.”
TURN OFF: “Men who don’t cuddle. Maybe that sounds obvious, but some of my friends couldn’t care less about that. To me, if you don’t want to be close to me unless you are inside of me, that feels like we only have a physical connection, and sex means more to me than that. A man who spoons me right after sex because he wants to is gonna get another round from me. A man who doesn’t doesn’t, he also doesn’t have to worry about seeing me ever again.”
Shellie here: If you’re unfamiliar with what a sapiosexual is, check out “Tap Into What It Means To Be A Sapiosexual.”
3. Chayla. Engaged. 27.
TURN ON: “This might sound weird, but I like a man who doesn’t ‘come in hot.’ You know — guys who go down on you and act like they know just how you like it, or guys who immediately put you in a sex position and go ham like I should immediately be impressed. For me, that translates that they are doing to me what they’ve done with some woman before me, and we might not like the same things. That’s why I enjoy sexual conversations before sexual experiences. Ask me how I like to be touched and licked. Ask me what my favorite sex position is. Get to know me before you get to know me. My fiancé is like that — and that’s a big part of why he’s about to be my husband.”
"Ask me how I like to be touched and licked. Ask me what my favorite sex position is. Get to know me before you get to know me."
TURN OFF: “There’s nothing wrong with some hair pulling during sex; I’m all for it. What I need you to not do is pull my head into your stomach while I’m giving you head. There is already too much going on during that time and a sistah needs to breathe!”
Shellie here: We actually tackled the hair-pulling topic before on this platform. Check out “Contrary To Popular Assumption, Black Women LOVE Getting Their Hair Pulled During Sex” when you get a chance.
4. Indigo. Married. 41.
TURN ON: “I know I sound married when I say this, but — clean this house, baby. In our home, we have a chores chart, kind of like what some of us grew up with. My husband and I each have days when we do certain things, so when he takes the initiative to do what’s on my list? That’s less work for me, which gives me more energy for him. And don’t let that man cook and clean up the kitchen more than twice in a week. How do you want it? How do you freaking want it, my love?’
TURN OFF: “My husband does his own laundry. We’re all grown and just like we have periods, men have fluids ‘n stuff in their drawers too. That’s fine. But anyone who says that keeping some mystery in a marriage isn’t needed, that’s somebody who doesn’t want to have a lot of sex. Just sayin’.”
Shellie here: There’s actually something to that chore thing. Studies say that couples who share chores end up having more sex. You can read about it here, here, and here.
5. Twyla. Dating. 25.
TURN ON: “Hickeys turn me on. Two things that I can’t do are whistle and give hickeys, so I’m amazed when others can do it — and yes, when I see…what do the older folks call it, love bites, on my breasts or tummy, that makes me feel desired on another level and it puts me in the mood pretty quick.”
TURN OFF: “Hickeys where you can see them are a turn-off, though. I don’t need people all up in my business. Also, guys who don’t let you know when they’re about to cum when they’re in your mouth. Not everyone’s taste and flow are the same down there, and I have a gag reflex. Announce the rainstorm, sir. I appreciate it.”
6. Essence. Married. 31.
TURN ON: “Kissing every part of me like you kiss my mouth is always gonna get him just what he wants. You ever had a man tongue down, not just your neck but your wrists, tummy, and even behind your knees? A good kisser is one thing. A good all-over-the-place one? I ain’t going no damn where.”
" Kissing every part of me like you kiss my mouth is always gonna get him just what he wants."
TURN OFF: “Stubble. On the face and down there. It puts me in a bind because I think my husband is sexy with a salt and pepper stubble beard, but when we do a lot of kissing, it gives me beard burn, and when I’m giving him head, stubbly pubes irritate my forehead. I mean, you asked.”
7. Queen. Divorced (and Dating). 33.
TURN ON: “Men who know that there is more to us than T&A is a huge turn on for me. Kiss my forehead. Lick my neck. When you’ve got my legs on your shoulders, kiss my legs. Suck on my fingers. Help me find new spots that turn me on. Sh-t. Is it hot in here? Damn.”
TURN OFF: “My turn off is the opposite of my turn on. It’s not even so much that I want a lot of foreplay — I just want you to act like you don’t just have to play with my kitty kat to get me going. Men who don’t learn how to enjoy all of a woman are lazy lovers — and that is going to turn me dry every time.”
8. Eleena. Single. 46.
TURN ON: “If you want to get me in the mood, call me to ask what kind of sex I want to have with you. Maybe it’s just me, but my mood can determine what I’m in the mood for. One day, I might want a lot of romance. One day, we might need a safe word. One day, a quickie is what I have in mind. Pre-gaming the sex by discussing gets me in the mood because it gets us both on the same page before anything happens — and that can already make sex hot as hell.”
TURN OFF: “I don’t like it when men have sex with themselves. I don’t mean masturbating — I mean, when you are nothing more than the audience to whatever they have in mind. It’s like they get off on themselves: looking in the mirror, asking 'Do you like that?' when they aren’t really doing anything. If we’re having sex, I need you present and into me. Otherwise, you can do whatever you had in mind…by yourself…at your house.”
9. Reveeda. Married. 43.
TURN ON: “A lot of times, it’s not the sex itself that makes sex boring — it’s the predictableness of it. Take me while I’m washing my face in the bathroom. Go down on me in the driveway of our home. Shoot me a text and tell me to meet you at the first hotel where we had sex. My husband is the best that I’ve ever had because, yes, he’s good in bed, but more than that, he’s spontaneous and that gets me in the mood — and keeps me in the mood.”
TURN OFF: “69’ing turns me off. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and it’s hard for me to concentrate. Plus, I can’t get the right angle while doing him, and I can’t put his head where I want it to be while he’s doing me. Y’all can keep that position. Sex shouldn’t be so complicated.” (She laughed while she said it.)
10. Umi. Divorced (and Single) 36.
TURN ON: “I like to be flung around like I only weigh 10 pounds. I like to be choked. I like a man who stares me dead in the eyes while eating me up. Sexual confidence is gonna get me every time.”
TURN OFF: “Men who bring their ego into the bedroom. You might think that confidence and an ego are the same thing, but they’re not. Men who want to be rated, who want to know if I think their penis is the best ever or who assume that they are doing me right without consulting me — that’s not confidence; that’s peak insecurity and a total waste of my time. From the bottom of my heart, check your ego at the door.”
____
There you have it — 10 women who are crystal clear about what gets them going and what stops them dead in their tracks. What can you relate to? What makes little to no sense to you at all?
At the very least, forward this on to your girlfriends and hold your own unofficial polls the next time that y’all meet up. You never know what you might learn to get you even more in the mood — and what to do about the things that get you out of that same headspace.
After all, knowledge is power. Even in that bedroom of yours.
Straight up.
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