There's this phenomenon that's being talked about on social media as well as in the news, where a wave of people have sparked what is now being called the "Great Resignation." Professionals have been chucking the deuces to working their 9-to-5s and saying to hell with pandemic-era fear and hesitation. This recent wave, which includes at least 4.3 million workers, has been led by—you guessed it—women, who have been quitting their jobs at a higher rate than men.
And here are some telling tidbits about the who, what, where, when and why of it all: Harvard Business Review reports that resignation numbers are the highest in the healthcare and tech industries, both areas where high levels of stress came in with the increased demand during and after the pandemic. Rates are also high among mid-career workers (Hey, all my geriatric millennials! Heeey!) who perhaps have "reached a breaking point" and are rethinking career and life goals.
Let's get into a few real-life stories of Black women who took the plunge to find success and fulfillment, redefine balance, and get to the bag in ways that shift the narrative.
Allyssa resigned from her job as a VP in marketing after more than a decade managing multimillion-dollar campaigns for global beauty and luxury brands. She officially launched her company, Meg & Munro, in September 2020 and hasn't looked back since. "I left because I began to notice that despite the resounding success, I was frequently being overlooked as a Black consumer of those brands and as a key strategist on the marketing team," Alyssa says. "With the goal of bringing more inclusivity to the marketing field, I launched a marketing and communications agency for beauty and lifestyle brands."
She held a passion to tap into new audiences and offer her skills on her own terms while expanding the landscape of brand awareness. "With the growing attention to the multicultural beauty and personal care category in the height of the pandemic, many brands needed help reaching the same diverse consumers they once ignored," she added. "Through public relations, social media, and influencer partnerships, my agency drives visibility, interest, and demand for brands aiming to reach multicultural consumers."
"Surprisingly, the pandemic allowed me to double down on my decision to leave my full-time marketing position. I saw how uncertain things were in the workplace and thought it was a better use of my time and talents to grow my own business."
Allyssa has enjoyed her new normal after taking the leap. "I now experience less anxiety (no more Sunday Scaries!) and have a lot more ownership over my work and time," she says. "Since launching, we have worked with dozens of beauty and lifestyle brands and creators including Converse Shoes, Footlocker, Anderson Bluu, Her Agenda, Strange Bird Beauty, Avocurl, and Yawoni just to name a few. Our work and clients have also appeared on The View and inGlamour, Forbes, Refinery29, Good Housekeeping, Hypebeast, Goop, and much more!"
For others who might be pausing their efforts to go forward with leaving their jobs, especially at a prime time when millions of companies and professionals are reevaluating strategies and goals, she urges planning and patience. "Leverage your network. It's important to communicate your values and let others know your goals for starting a business. Second, it's very important to plan your finances and strategy for making money within the first few years of operating. It takes time to start seeing returns in business, and it will be difficult to scale and/or make sound business decisions if you're constantly worrying about finances."
Melissa decided to go full-time with her love for makeup artistry last November, after slowly growing her business as a side hustle. "I was working as an underwriting analyst for an insurance company, and my part-time business was starting to require more of my time," she recalls. "The more it grew the more I realized that's where my passion was. My career was no longer fulfilling. In addition to not feeling fulfilled in my career, I had a boss that micromanaged everything I did."
"I felt overwhelmed, undervalued, and drained. My 9-to-5 was holding me back from reaching my full potential. My boss would often deny my PTO requests and when he did approve my time off, I would feel the retaliation when I returned to work."
The final straw for Melissa was when she took approved PTO for a big wedding booking, and upon returning to the office, was met with an abrupt meeting request. "It was about my work and more micromanaging. In that moment I knew I couldn't do it for another day. I submitted my resignation letter in the middle of a pandemic not sure what would happen next."
Stepping up her game in building MeMa Creations and gaining new clientele seemed like a natural next step for Melissa. "That feeling of uncertainty—not knowing what tomorrow may bring—made me feel so uneasy, but it also made my decision to leave very clear. I didn't want to continue putting all my time and efforts into a corporation that didn't value me. I was tired of sacrificing my own dreams for someone else's dream."
Since going full-time with her business she has enjoyed a level of success that she can be proud of. "I have done makeup for more than 60 weddings, in addition to my regular clients," she says. "I also offer virtual makeup lessons and one-on-one in-person makeup lessons. My work has been published in two major magazines in less than a year, and I am launching my makeup products before the end of the year."
Tracy started her firm in June 2020 as a pivot due to the pandemic. She'd worked for a decade in the finance industry, and had taken a leap of faith to pursue a career as a retail fashion buyer and independent image consultant. "The ongoing freelancing that I was doing lessened significantly in early 2020, but as opportunities came back, I was not comfortable doing image consulting due to the nature of the work. It was impossible to be socially distant," she said. "So when an opportunity for PR management arose, I leaned into it and grew it knowing I needed to replace my income."
Tracy's reputation preceded her, and she was able to help a previous image consulting client to help with her public image via PR management. That was when she says, Tracy Aliche Consulting really took off. "I took on the challenge, hit the ground running, and soon attracted opportunities to do the same for other entrepreneurs as a result of all the press I was able to secure. We now have a roster of five full-time clients, and the rise has been truly exhilarating!"
For others considering quitting their day jobs to pursue a new career or journey, Tracy suggests investing time in a bit of self-actualization. "One of the most important things to consider before leaving a job is being honest with yourself about what you're willing and not willing to sacrifice to reach your end goal," she adds. "What are you willing to give up? Would you give up your cozy apartment if it meant being able to sustain financially after leaving the workforce? If you insist on maintaining your current lifestyle as is, then creating a realistic timeline, building a financial safety net, and having a fully fleshed-out backup plan are non-negotiables. I think it's important to know your 'why.'"
Watchen Nyanue's journey in transitioning from a 9-to-5 to entrepreneurship during the Great Resignation has a positive twist. She'd been leading a podcast that was the launchpad for her brand, all while working full time as a WNBA executive. "My job was actually amazing, but I knew that, for the sake of my reputation and for the work I'd put in, I didn't want to start letting the quality of my work drop to pursue something else and ruin the reputation I'd already built in decades of work. My company was literally behind me 100%. They knew when the podcast launched, and they are [actually] one of my clients today."
Her platform, I Choose The Ladder, helps large corporations develop and retain their high-performing Black female talent, a service that came in high demand.
"The pandemic, at least for me, was a gift and a curse. The time that we had at home gave me some time to assess what I wanted to be spending my time doing and who I wanted to be spending my time with. And because I started planting the seed already, the jump wasn't as scary as I thought it would be."
She offers some key advice for women who are thinking about joining the wave. "First I would encourage folks to ask, 'Is it the company you work for, the person you work for or is it corporate America?' A lot of times we make large decisions based on really small factors. Maybe the company that you work for is not the best fit for what you're trying to do. That doesn't mean there's not a company that can meet your needs."
Another key piece of advice: "A lot of people go to entrepreneurship because they're running from something not because they're running to something. If you're running from a job and all of the chaos that you think might be in corporate, a lot of those things still exist in entrepreneurship. And if you have not figured out how to navigate [challenges] while on someone else's dime, it's going to be an even steeper, more expensive, more stressful, and lonely learning curve. So make sure you're running to entrepreneurship, not just from corporate America."
Featured image via Getty Images
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Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Undoubtedly, this summer was a mean one to add to the record books. It's easy to want to forget about it all, and move on, when there were temperature records broken, unaffordable global tours and strikes announced, political foolishness, new COVID strains, and egg prices. But along with the summer's chaos came some much-needed downtime and quality time with friends and family. Yes, we will remember this as a time of chaos, but we will most importantly remember this summer as a time of delight and wild abandon for years to come.
Therefore, it is only fitting that we reflect on the iconic tunes that served as the music to our sun-drenched travels before ushering in the new season. So, in no particular order, here are the top songs of the summer that kept things enjoyable despite the stifling heat.
1."On My Mama" - Victoria Monét
In June, "On My Mama" made its Billboard Hot R&B Songs debut at position No. 16. It has since risen to number seven thanks to its captivating dance-filled video, which pays homage to 2000s hip-hop/R&B. This summer anthem was first written as a song of affirmations, the ideal hype-up and full of love for oneself. In the song, Victoria Monét proclaims she is "done being the humble type" and correctly asserts herself in self-love and affirmation to attaining her goals as the song is built over a stylish sample of Chalie Boy's 2009 hit "I Look Good."
2."What It Is (Block Boy)" - Doechii ft. Kodak Black
Doechii and Kodak Black's "What It Is" track, which is a radio and social media sensation, is the ideal "fusion of nostalgia and pop vibes." This summer smash seems like a 00s hit, as it pays homage to the stereotype of wanting a bad boy at the end of the night. Alluring its audience with vintage samples of "No Scrubs" and "Some Cut" to mix in some lighthearted energy, Doechii urges all women to embrace their longing for something daring despite the inevitable drawbacks of dating a bad boy.
The exuberant and empowering song serves as a gentle reminder that there aren't enough songs in which women flaunt their endowments and demand what they want. It's more pop than we're used to from the rapper, but its playfulness creates a sentimentally enjoyable track that gives Doechii an opportunity to be much more vocally assertive than her previous hits. You may choose to listen to the song's original recording or the single she released with only her; either way, you can't help but move to the music as she smoothly questions, "What it is, hoe? What's up?"
3."Barbie World" - Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice (with Aqua)
The Barbie movie proved impervious to error throughout the course of its development and promotional tour, dominating the internet both during its production last summer and at its debut this summer. To further demonstrate how immaculate it might be, they showed that they were better than the hype when they recruited Nicki Minaj, the self-described Barbie, to participate in the lead song from their soundtrack.
Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice's "Barbie World," their second joint effort after "Princess Diana," debuted in June and included a sample of Aqua's 1997 dance-pop smash "Barbie Girl." The song strikes the ideal mix between drill and pop, as well as fun and feminine elements. It blends syncopated percussion with powerful bass drums and features aspects of Jersey club music. You can't help but sing along and find amusement in it because of the song's slithering groove and bad bitch anthem.
4."Kill Bill" - SZA
Like the Scorpio she is, SZA spent the summer weaving a tale of two extreme woes. Her first woe was detailed in the form of "Kill Bill," which is a classic example of the crazy girl cliché, telling the story of a woman who is overly committed to a former love and will do anything to win her relationship back. With the majority of cuffed women returning to the streets, "Kill Bill" created the perfect soundtrack for one's summer vengeance.
With a lullaby-like sway, it is easy to join SZA in her deadly mission as wary, but enchanted companions. Although we can all agree that SZA's murder fantasies are catastrophic, they are somewhat realistic, given the song's underlying message of doing whatever it takes for love. Praised for its honest exploration of raw, violent feelings, "Kill Bill" was perfect for one's summer playlist.
5."Snooze" - SZA
SZA's second song on this list that took the summer and listeners by storm was "Snooze." Unlike "Kill Bill," "Snooze" holds the opposite vibe and offers advice on how to deal with heartbreak. In contrast to the previous song, "Snooze" takes the time to describe how important someone has become and why desiring anybody else is impossible. As she exposes thoughts of hatred, retaliation, self-growth, self-worth, and love, SZA's voice and the unique musical style produce an emotive tune strangely perfect for the summer.
Similar to "Kill Bill," "Snooze" uses impassioned and vaguely violent language, which occasionally works against the title's intended tranquil and drowsy tone. However, it adroitly captures the wrath one feels when one really wants a relationship, and the other person makes no attempt to try.
6."Boy's a liar Pt. 2" - PinkPantheress ft. Ice Spice
"Boy's a liar Pt. 2" slid into the summer like the little engine that could after remaining stable on the charts during the winter. The song "Boy's a liar Pt. 2" by British artist PinkPantheress and current rap phenom Ice Spice is about someone who is only interested in you when you "look good." It's an incredibly catchy summer tune that is both quick and slow, old and fresh.
Like an ephemeral hallucination, this summer song has a light, floaty feel thanks to rhythms that borrow from old dance tunes, Jersey Club music, and powerful percussions. Effortlessly weaving into the hyper-pop we've come to know from the artist, there is a gentle, luxuriant vibe, which causes listeners to bob along coolly and adroitly.
7."Good Good" - Usher, Summer Walker, & 21 Savage
Like Usher said, this song is "different." Unlike the other summer songs where relationships fell apart, Usher is not trying to seek revenge or find violent ways to retaliate against his ex. Instead, he can acknowledge that they are not on the best of terms, but that the terms are nevertheless, still good. Crooning over a slick beat, he prunes out his desires like he once did on his early 00s tracks and shows his ex that he understands that though he wished for forever, it simply wasn't in their cards.
Singing in cursive and rapping matter-of-factly, Summer Walker and 21 Savage join the song to confirm matters on hand. Though Walker intended to become her ex's "missus," it is clear that she and her ex are happier apart than trying to solidify their relationship in marital hell. Meanwhile, 21 Savage reflects on his relationship and everything he provided for his ex, but in the end, he just wishes to be friends and remain a support system for his former flame.
8."One Margarita (Saucy Remix)" - That Chick Angel, Casadi Music, & Steve Terrell (ft. Saucy Santana)
You've probably heard this song a thousand and two times on Instagram this summer, and if you didn't, you certainly heard it on TikTok. Regardless of where you found the tune, this song took the summer by storm with its playful, and overtly sexual nature. A song that literally explains how many margaritas you'll need to get That Chick Angel to "open her legs," it feels like the female perspective to Miguel's "How Many Drinks?"
The song is catchy, and it certainly makes you want to dance, but the best part of its creation is how it aligned together in the first place. Never meant to truly be a song, Angel Laketa Moore created this hit after hearing a sample from Sister Cindy, which claims "If you buy her one margarita, she will spread her legs.” From there, Moore freestyled her infamous "Give me one Margarita, Imma open my legs/Give me two margaritas, Imma give you some head." Within 24 hours, Casadi Music and Steve Terrell added their twist to the track, and the rest is summer history.
9."Summer Too Hot" - Chris Brown
"Summer Too Hot" dropped in June 2023 as the lead single of Chris Brown's eleventh album, 11:11. The lively tune "Summer Too Hot" makes Brown's intentions to "wet up" the summer clear. Brown admits that whenever he finds someone who attracts his eye, it is simply too hot for both of them to resist exploring the wetter side of things. The track, which has silky vocals and a laid-back beat, quickly gained traction and peaked at No. 6 on the Billboard Hot R&B.
With its frank lyrics and explicit sexual character, the vibrant song about "getting nasty" during a summertime affair promotes the value of cooling off from the heat and appreciating the season's lack of clothes.
10."Smoke" - Victoria Monét ft. Lucky Daye
Levitating us effortlessly with its spellbinding harmonies, Lucky Daye and Victoria Monét begin "Smoke" like the ascension of a firework. However, this aural joy generates a fluid rhythm that has no business being as smooth as it is, rather than a quick-paced explosion. This summer song, which debuted five months ago and has been steadily entrancing fans with a sensuous, syrupy bassline, eventually builds to a 70s funk and reggae bop. This lighthearted dedication to the celebration of cannabis is an ode to all potheads and is pleasant and summery in feel.
"Smoke" is a refreshing, playful track that lets you float/groove to the beat, amplified by an amalgam of whistling horns, organs, and vibrant electronic effects.
11."Popular" - The Weeknd, Madonna, & Playboi Carti
Just like his HBO flop The Idol, this collaboration from The Weeknd doesn't make sense on paper. However, unlike his HBO flop The Idol--yes, I mentioned it twice, because it was that bad--this collab was something none of us knew we wanted. Sounding like another nostalgic 00s throwback, or Justin Timberlake and Timbaland song, this is the best thing to come out of the now-canceled show. With Madonna and Playboi Carti, the rap-pop group spins a tale about a lady who is yearning for fame and glory and wants nothing more than to be popular.
However, as everyone is aware, when someone seeks attention and the spotlight, they typically end up with both more and less than they expected. "Popular" is a ditty that brings the summer to a close with a lovely, crisp farewell. It is straightforward, catchy, and ends at exactly the appropriate spot.
12."AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM" - Beyoncé
This summer's music wouldn't have been half of what it was without Queen Bey herself. This summer, as her Renaissance World Tour got underway, Beyoncé found herself responsible for Sweden's highest inflation of the year and the world being put on mute via "ENERGY." With every sold-out performance and every "mute" challenge, Beyoncé further demonstrated to the world that she was deserving of their addiction.
Though she had many tracks from her latest album circulating with viral moments from her tour, the song that transformed the summer for us was "AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM." "AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM" is a song sampled from Kilo Ali's "America Has a Problem (Cocaine.)" that focuses on cocaine and happiness, and eventually the anguish it causes, via the metaphor of a woman. In this sample, Beyoncé makes a comparison between herself, her music, and the addictive qualities of cocaine.
She outlines all the qualities that make everyone fall in love with her and keeps them coming back to her time and time again, proving that she is a lady to be revered.
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Featured image via YouTube