xoNecole was in the Dolby Theater for our parent company Will Packer Productions' making history as the first all-Black producing team in the Oscars' 94 years--and yes, the moment was shocking and confusing, with guests reacting much like those at home, wondering was the presumed Best Actor Will Smith doing a bit when he walked onto the stage and open-handed slapped Chris Rock after a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith's bald head? It was quickly clear that it wasn't, with those of us up in the theater's rafters looking to Twitter for a replay of what exactly went down.
But we should not forget some truly amazing moments in Black history that went down at this year's Oscars.
xoNecole was on the red carpet talking to your faves about what this moment meant for Black people, Oscars host Regina Hall, Best Supporting Actress Aunjanue Ellis, Oscar winner H.E.R., Oscar winner Ruth E. Carter, presenters Chloë x Halle and more:
Oscar Winner Samuel L. Jackson
Samuel L. Jackson celebrates his Oscar with Denzel Washington
Mike Coppola/Getty Images
At The Academy's Governors Awards the night before the Oscars, Denzel Washington presented his peer and friend Samuel L. Jackson with this year's honorary Oscar. The 73-year-old acting veteran has been on our screens for most of his life, alongside Washington and Spike Lee. After being nominated for Supporting Actor for his role in Pulp Fiction, Jackson now has his first Oscar!
Blue Ivy Gave The Opening Performance
Baby, Blue Ivy was MOVING, okay? Dance moves on point. An icon. A legend. We didn't deserve it, but I'm so glad Blue Blue let her mom sing background for her debut performance at the Oscars. She can add this accolade to her illustrious Emmy, Grammy and literary awards.
'The Queen of Basketball' Received Best Documentary Short
One of the early, exciting moments from the pre-taped show was when The Queen ofBasketball won for best documentary short (just as I predicted!). The floor vibrated as the family of Lucy Harris, the first woman to ever play in the NBA, celebrated the Oscar win in her honor. Sadly, Lucy passed just months before the nominations were announced, so she never got to see how her pioneering story would reach international acclaim. "Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!" Her family and loved ones shouted out from the rafters above and behind me in the Dolby Theater. Their energy and joy were electric! And Director Ben Proudfoot ended his acceptance speech with an appeal: "President Biden, bring Brittney Griner home!" A Black history moment and icon we should never forget. Watch the Oscar-winning documentary short below:
Ariana DeBose Won Best Supporting Actress
The first award of the (televised) night went to Ariana DeBose for Best Supporting Actress in West Side Story, (as predicted) making her the first Afro-Latina, openly queer woman to win the award. Quoting her famous musical in her acceptance speech, she said "So to anyone who has ever questioned your identity, or you find yourself living in the gray spaces, I promise you this: there is indeed 'a place for us.'"
Megan Thee Stallion Is The First Female Rapper To Perform
One of the more pleasant surprises of the evening was seeing Megan Thee Stallion performing the hit song from Encanto by Lin Manuel Miranda, "We Don't Talk About Bruno." While you may remember the famous performance from Oscar winners Three-Six Mafia of "Hard Out Here For A Pimp," Megan's performance was the first-ever by a female rapper in Oscars history. Keep doing it big for the Hot Girls, Meg!
A Disabled Black Woman Was Defended Against Ableism and Misogynoir
WILL SMITH, JADA PINKETT SMITH
THE OSCARS® – The 94th Oscars® aired live Sunday March 27, from the Dolby® Theatre at Ovation Hollywood at 8 p.m. EDT/5 p.m. PDT on ABC in more than 200 territories worldwide. (ABC)
For too long, comedians like Chris Rock have built their entire careers on mocking how Black women look, talk, dress and act and we're always expected to take it because it's "just jokes." I'd wager that part of what seems to be so offensive to people in the aftermath of the Slap is not that Chris Rock got popped in the mouth for mocking a Black woman's appearance, it's that this violent, ableist, misogynoiristic 'joke' is supposed to be acceptable. Open season on the most unprotected and disrespected people in America, the Black woman, is assumed, and how dare Chris Rock face consequences for it? Alopecia is an autoimmune disease. Jada Pinkett Smith is disabled. A Black disabled woman was defended against ableism and misogynoir in front of the world on Sunday night. While we'll have to wait for Jada to speak specifically on how she felt about the offense or the defense, I hope more 'comedians' think twice before mocking Black women for a white audience's laughter and actually try to be funny next time.
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Whatever the case, TikTok is making sure we have everything we need to "lock in" for the rest of the year. Heralded as "The Great Lock In," TikTok's latest wellness trend is the collective reset designed to transform your life by December.
If you've been seeing the phrase pop up on your FYP, here's a quick breakdown of The Great Lock-In and how you can make the rising wellness trend work for you.
What Is The Great Lock In?
The Great Lock In Wellness Trend, Explained.
TikTok creators define "The Great Lock In" as a 17-week journey, taking place from September 1 to December 31. Think of it as a not-so-distant relative to the wellness trend concepts of 75 Hard/75 Soft or last year's viral Winter Arc. The Great Lock In is all about re-programming your mind to reprogram your life.
As one TikTok creator, @_tatianaforbes explained in her TikTok, "It's all programming your mind to go hard for a sprint of time. It's not meant to be forever. But it's meant to be this time where you put forth immense effort in some area of your life."
That area could be your finances, fitness, sleep habits, or even your personal style. And while The Great Lock In is framed as a "sprint," the true W is establishing the powerful habits you build along the way, the ones that shift your mindset, setting the tone for your physical or mental transformation. The name of the game is focus. And what you focus on, you magnify, creating space for radical change that feels bigger than your average glow-up.
@_tatianaforbes/TikTok
The Great Lock In Rules
The Rules of Engagement
So how does one lock in to The Great Lock In? The concept itself might sound intense, but the rules of engagement are more straightforward than you'd think. If you're ready to commit, here are some of the most common "rules" TikTok creators like @silkx.co are swearing by during this end of the year sprint:
- 90 days of pure discipline
- Wake up by 5 a.m.
- Go to bed by 9 p.m.
- Work out 5-6 times a week
- Take 10,000 steps daily
- Read 10 pages of a book daily
- Drink 3 liters of water daily
- Max protein intake goals daily
- Write 3 things you're grateful for
- No fast food
- No sugar
- No alcohol
- No excuses
- Eliminate distractions
- Focus on yourself
@silkx.co/TikTok
How To Make The Great Lock In Work For You
You don't have to do all of the rules of The Great Lock In to see results by December 31. We want to level up and thrive, not burnout in survival mode. Yes, this is a 17-week sprint to transformation, but it doesn't mean you have to box yourself in self-improvement hell. Like author James Clear reminds us in the ultimate self-development book, Atomic Habits, "All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger."
TikTok creator @cloudsjoo echoes this approach to transformation, encouraging small, sustainable shifts versus a complete life overhaul from day one. Maybe you build toward 10,000 steps a day by starting off with a 30-minute walk per day. Or if you're rule is no fast food (physical) or no eating out (financial), a small step could look like cooking more meals at home each week and leaning more on meal prep.
The beauty of The Great Lock In lies in its flexibility. It's a framework for building systems that actually fit into your life long-term. Locking in doesn't mean perfection, it means commitment. It's choosing yourself through consistency and trusting that those small steps will lead to the glow-up you've been envisioning for your life.
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That is what I’m going to provide you today, thanks to 10 women who have passed menopause and are willing to share what they wish someone had told them beforehand. Hopefully, it can help you to navigate that season and stage of your life…once it arrives.
*Middle names are always used in my interview-based content so that people can speak freely*
Giphy1. Esther. 54.
“What I was completely unprepared for is the fatigue that the transition sends you through. For like two years, all I could think about was how much I couldn’t wait to get into my bed and I was never that kind of person before. I was starting to wonder if I was in denial about being depressed, so I mentioned it to my doctor and she said that it was because estrogen gives you an energy boost and mine was on the decline. I didn’t want to do any estrogen therapy and so I ate more foods that have estrogen in them and took a few estrogen supplements. All of this helped.”
Shellie here: Plant-based estrogen is called phytoestrogen. Foods that contain phytoestrogen include peaches, berries, cauliflower, broccoli, garlic, oats and flaxseeds. As far as supplements that can increase your estrogen levels, I’m always gonna be a fan of evening primrose oil along with chasteberry and vitamins B and D.
2. Theia. 45.
“Please make sure that before you go through a full hysterectomy that you speak with at least three professionals. I had so many fibroids and cysts that my doctor told me to get one and I didn’t know enough about what was going on to request to keep at least one of my ovaries. They took everything. That kicked me into early menopause and it hasn’t been fun. Do your own research. It’s more available than ever.”
Giphy3. Farron. 52.
“Dry skin. Out of all of the things that perimenopause put me through, that is the thing that annoyed me the most because, no matter how much I tried to moisturize my skin, it would feel scratchy and parched within a matter of hours — and that was hell during the night because my back and legs were constantly itchy. Drinking more water is a good hack but so is taking an omega-3 supplement, sealing your skin when you get out of the shower and applying something thick like shea butter at night.”
Shellie here: The reason why dry skin upticks during perimenopause is because, as your estrogen levels fluctuate, it tends to lower your sebum and collagen levels. That’s why consuming more collagen (like a supplement or collagen-enriched foods like citrus fruit, bone broth and egg whites) can also be beneficial for you.
4. Michelle. 56.
“I never thought about peeing as much as I did going through menopause. I used to be the one who would watch those Depend commercials and be like ‘That’s for old folks.’ But then I started noticing that when I laughed, a little pee would come out. And sometimes at night, my panties would be soaked before even making it to the bathroom. My doctor told me that my hormones were all over the place and that can impact my bladder, mostly because my pelvic walls were weaker. Kegels helped but be prepared for the squirts. Most women I know go through that.”
Giphy5. Alania. 55.
“I wish I knew that menopause only lasts a day — Shellie actually told me that and it was about a year after I [officially] went through menopause. You’re not actually going through menopause; you’re going through perimenopause which is all of the stuff that happens before menopause. That would’ve given me a greater understanding of some of the stuff that was happening to me in my late 30s that I didn’t quite understand, and it would’ve caused me to research post-menopause a lot sooner. Shellie has always said that once we get our period, we are dealing with it, one way or another, for the rest of our lives. She is absolutely correct.”
Shellie here: Okay, so the average age that a woman goes into menopause is 51. Perimenopause-related symptoms tend to start around 8-10 years before menopause and can last from 4-8 years (I know, right?). Post-menopause consists of symptoms that may or may not occur after you’ve officially experienced menopause and it can last for the rest of your life (which is why some women opt for post-menopausal hormone therapy). Those symptoms can include insomnia, a low libido, incontinence, vaginal dryness and night sweats. Like I said, your period impacts you, somehow, some way, the rest of your life, chile.
6. Grace. 50.
“The way that it will f-ck your entire shape up! I’m telling you that somebody should’ve told me that one day, my waist would be snatched to the gods and the next day — where the hell did it go? And guys, I’m someone who works out on the regular! Your hormones changing changes everything about you. Talk to a nutritionist who specializes in menopause and watch foods that create inflammation. It seems to make you look more bloated than ever when you’re menopausal.”
Shellie here: She ain’t neva lied. SMDH. That’s why I wrote article for the platform like “Perimenopause Shifting Your Shape? 7 Ways to Deal” and “'Menopause Belly' Actually Is A Real Thing. Here's How To Handle It.”
Giphy7. Leone. 52.
“I’m the woman who thinks that we should automatically be able to work from home 2-3 days a week while we’re on our period because if your cramps are anything like mine were — I’ll put it this way: it’s a miracle that I was able to concentrate on anything at all. Same thing for going through menopause because what was really difficult for me was the constant brain fog that I was experiencing. I couldn’t really remember anything. I would do certain tasks more than once. It was like I was gaslighting myself. I was miserable.”
Shellie here: It truly can’t be said enough that sleep is not a luxury; it is an absolute necessity, especially when you’re going through perimenopause. Sleep, consuming less alcohol and playing memory-themed games are some all-natural ways to combat brain fog if that is something that you are currently experiencing.
8. Kristen. 53.
“I’m starting to notice more articles and even commercials about menopause and that’s a good thing because I think what I wish I knew was more about menopause, period. Come to think about it, we need to do better about menstrual education because all I really knew about my period is that I was going to bleed and it might hurt and, it wasn’t until my periods were all over the place, that I started doing my own research on menopause. We don’t freak out when winter comes because we know about it. I think menopause would be easier on most of us if we had as much information about it as possible.”
Giphy9. Erra. 48.
“I wish I had been told to seek out my family history more and to get my hormone levels checked after 35 whether my physician recommended it or not. I ended up going into early menopause because my hormone levels were dangerously low. When I mentioned it to my mother and one of my aunts, they said that the same thing happened to them. Imagine if I had known that in my 20s and 30s. Be proactive about knowing as much as you can about your health.”
10. Helyn. 53.
“Are there menopause life coaches? If not, there should be. All you pretty much hear about menopause is you’re not going to have a period anymore and you might experience some hot flashes. Girl, menopause is an entire life transition. Your hormones change. Your body changes. Your sex life changes. And that causes you to see yourself, your relationships and even some of your life goals differently. I wish I had gotten into some sort of therapy before menopause. It would’ve kept me from wondering what in the world was going on with me every other day.”
Shellie here: I did a bit of digging and it would appear that menopause (life) coaching is a growing field. If you’re interested in becoming a menopause coach yourself, here is where you may find some answers to your initial questions. A tip? Do check with ICF to see if any coaching program that you’re considering is ICF accredited; that will help to give you more relevance in the life coaching industry.
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Again, contrary to what society tells you, there is not one wrong thing with aging. Aging is a blessing. In fact, Proverbs 20:29(NKJV) says, “The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.”
Menopause is a part of the process — and the more you know, the less stressful it has to be.
And again, here’s hoping that the advice of these women has eased your mind in some way — so that you can embrace your season instead of dreading it…whenever it chooses to come your way.
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