Are You A "Comfort Zone Addict"?
Back when I used to write for the major paper here in Nashville, a rule of thumb when it came to sourcing was Wikipedia was an absolute no-no. There are a billion reasons why, but when it comes to what a clear and concise definition of comfort zone is, I think it breaks it all down pretty well. According to Wikipedia, a comfort zone is "a psychological state in which things feel familiar to a person and they are at ease and in control of their environment". On the surface, that sounds pretty good right? What's wrong with wanting to be in familiar surroundings that put you at ease and make you feel like you are in control? Nothing. To a point.
Stuff starts to get weird and unhealthy when what's familiar—whether it's a person, place, thing or idea—is no longer serving you, when "being at ease" is synonymous with being stagnant and, you're so in control that you won't allow life to teach you anything or introduce you to something new. When your world gets to this point and place, you are well on your way to becoming a comfort zone addict—someone who habitually remains in a space that keeps them from flourishing and thriving.
And that's what we're going to explore today; eight signs that you very well could be addicted to your comfort zone and why you should go cold turkey and stop if you are. A wise person once said that, "Great things never come from comfort zones." When it comes to living one's best life, I would definitely have to agree. Are you ready to know for sure if you are too comfortable in your comfort zone?
Your Daily Routine Resembles a Hamster Wheel
Don't get me wrong. A lot of people could stand to have more of a daily routine because the benefits of doing so are endless. Daily routines can help to keep you organized. Daily routines can help you to manage your time better. Daily routines can hold you accountable to getting things done. Daily routines are necessary; very much so.
But as I share, as often as I can, Aristotle once said, "The excess of a virtue is a vice." In other words, anything that lacks balance can end up being totally unhealthy—or, at the very least, counterproductive—for us. When it comes to daily routines, if they are so rigid and regimented that you don't leave room for trying something new or even taking time off when your mind or body says that you need it, well, you could find yourself being more busy than productive.
Remember, the hamster spends a lot of time running around in that wheel. At the same time, at the end of the day, he's not really getting anywhere. Moral to the story is, if your daily routine doesn't ultimately help you to make great progress, you need to switch things up because it's actually working more against than for you than you think.
Risk Is the Ultimate Four-Letter Cuss Word to You
Some people hate to take risks. To a certain extent, I can see why. One definition of risk is "exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance" and who wants to be here doing stuff that is considered dangerous? However, another definition is "to venture upon; take or run the chance of" and yes, that is always worth, at least the consideration of doing. The key is to do your best to take risks that are wise and will serve you well.
How can you know for sure what those are? Ironically, that's where the risky part comes in. But what I will say is prayer, meditation, common sense and creating short- and long-term goals can help immensely. For instance, when I decided, 20 years ago this year, to write full-time, believe me when I say that it was quite the risk; especially financially. But before I did it, I spent time making connections, building up a portfolio, creating a personal mission statement (so I could be clear on what niche I would serve best in) and I disciplined myself to write daily (to the point now that sometimes I am able to pen 10,000-15,000 words on a daily basis, if needed). I didn't just up and decide "I'm a writer" and throw all caution to the wind; I prepared to become one. No one said that taking risks don't come without preparation. Only foolish people believe otherwise.
Best-selling author, Paulo Coelho once said, "If it's still on your mind, it's worth taking the risk." From an overall standpoint, I agree because, if something won't seem to let you go, that means it is something that is unresolved (and needs to be addressed) on some level in your life. Just make sure that you take some time out to process why it weighs so heavily on your mind. For example, if your ex keeps taking up space in your head and heart and he mistreated you, I wouldn't say that you should "take a risk" and try and get back with him. What you might want to do, though, is "take a risk" and see a therapist, counselor or relationship coach (even if it makes you uncomfortable, at first) or, take a risk and date someone who isn't your "typical type" (check out "Should You Consider Dating Someone You're Not Attracted To?").
Some people treat the word "risk" like it's the ultimate cuss word because they automatically think if something makes them uncomfortable, they shouldn't do it. The bigger focus should be if the risk is going to result in self-harm in some way. A lot of things that make us uneasy won't kill us; they will simply encourage us to step out from our usual norm. That's exactly what a "wise risk" does and that's almost always a good thing.
You Think Peace Means Always Being Comfortable
Let's touch on that uncomfortable thing a bit more. I know some people who are always complaining about how unfulfilled they are, but still, they won't make any real changes in their life. When I inquire why, some of them say that even though they aren't exactly "thrilled" every day with how their life is going, things are peaceful, so why should they rock the boat? Listen, silence is one thing. Peaceful is something else. If you've read enough of my articles on the site, you know that I totally adore the Hebrew language (because it's the original language of the Bible) and the Hebrew word for peace is "shalom". Shalom ultimately breaks down into being whole and complete (among a few other things).
Keeping that in mind, say that you're currently working at a job that pays you well. Problem is, it doesn't really challenge you, there's no room for promotion, and you don't feel like your strengths are being utilized. Sure, your bills are getting paid on time (and that's certainly a valid point), but that doesn't change the fact that you almost feel like a dead woman walking on a daily basis. Sis, that's not peace. If where you spend 6-10 hours of your time each day isn't helping to make you feel more whole and at peace with your life, you are actually in a state of anti-peace. It's time to do something different. Sooner than later, too.
If It’s Not Already Been Done Before, You Talk Yourself Out of Doing It
Let's bring Scripture into this conversation for just a moment, shall we? If you look at Genesis 1:1(NKJV), the Bible says, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Our first introduction to God is Him being a creator. To create is "to cause to come into being, as something unique that would not naturally evolve or that is not made by ordinary processes". When you read that, what's the word that immediately jumped out at you? For me, it was "unique". To create is to do something that is unique. Something that is truly unique is something that exists only as one, something that is totally incomparable and, something that is unusual.
I dig creatives. Not just people who profess they are one, but those whose life stories and inventions reveal that they truly are creative beings. They're the ones who didn't feel like they needed to follow a blueprint or do what someone else has already done in order to make things happen. They are the individuals who come up with an idea or concept that has people looking at them like, "Ninja, are you crazy?!" A risk-taker responds to that question with a grin and an up-and-down head nod. A comfort zone addict takes that as I sign that they shouldn't step out. To them, if other people don't "get it", it shouldn't be done.
If you tend to fall into Category B more than you'd care to admit, here's something to keep in mind.
The ideas that come to your mind that you can't really compare to something else, 8 times out of 10, those are the ones that you should consider to be the truly creative ones. And since your Creator does unique things (like creating you, for example), it is actually an act of honor and worship to God to give it a shot. Just think if the Spirit rethought making you because you hadn't already existed before. Just think about how much the world would've missed out because of it. Create, sis. If you don't do anything else in this life, make sure that you do that!
You Don’t Fully Utilize Your Gifts and Talents
Listen, anything you're doing (on the professional tip) that is not encouraging you to make the absolute most of your God-given gifts and talents is wasting your time. Wasting? Yes, because waste means "to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return". The happiest and most self-satisfied people I know aren't the wealthiest. They are the ones who get to get up, each and every day, and do what they love—what they are good at, what makes them feel like they aren't even really working (minus the required self-discipline, of course).
By no means am I saying that if you realize you aren't using your gifts and talents that you should quit your job today (you also can't use them if you don't have a place to live after getting evicted for not paying your bills). What I am saying is that, at the very least, you should ponder over what you can do that will help you to tap more into the things that you were naturally born with. A lot of people don't realize that comfort can be a real waste. Please don't be one of them.
Even If You’ve Got a Bucket List, Nothing Is Checked Off on It
It's my humble opinion that everyone, even kids, should have a bucket list. They help to give our life (more) meaning and direction. They hold us accountable to have fun and try out new things. They are a great way to create wonderful memories. They are one way to set short- and long-term goals. They teach us things about ourselves, others and the world around us as a whole. They also help to make sure that we aren't stagnant; that we keep moving forward.
I once read a study that stated 95 percent of people have bucket lists. It also said that 66 percent said they intended to check one thing off a year. A year? With some of my clients, every time their birthday rolls around, we jot down their age and then come up with as many things as their age is to do before their next birthday rolls around. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. One way to make life feel bigger and even better is to create a bucket list and commit to knocking at least 10 things off of it on an annual basis (because who said that you can't edit or add to your list as time moves on?).
You Are Mad Impatient
An author by the name of Laura Teresa Marquez provided some great fortune-cookie-and-beyond insight when she said, "When we get impatient because something is taking too long, we should remember that Life waits on us a thousand times more than we wait on." To me, this means that life is waiting on us to line up with the plans that it already has for us than we're waiting on life to reveal them. This quote definitely came to mind while I re-watched KevOnStage's documentary,A Calculated Risk. This youth pastor-turned-comedian-turned-9-to-5 person-turned-self-made man has quite a wonderful yet super-sacrificial story about how he took risks in order to live out his dreams. If you know anything about Kev, you can vouch for the fact that while he's not an overnight success, years later (not 2-3 either; several) stuff is really starting to pay off—BIG TIME.
A lot of people who are comfort zone addicts, they've already got all that they need to thrive in their own lane too. But if they don't see things that they attempt manifest in one year or less, they tend to quit. Unlike with Kev's journey, what that ends up doing them is costing them—BIG TIME. Stepping outside of one's comfort zone requires waiting, delays and disappointments. Your being willing to push through all of that for the greater goal is what will make it well worth your while. It's what some of the best success stories are made up of as well.
You’re Bored. Most of the Time.
" Bored" is a great word. The reason why I say that is because it's got a ton of different meanings, and all of them can alert you to whether or not you're living your life as "BIG" as you should be.
What are some clear indications that you are currently bored with the way your life is going (or not going)? You complain a lot. You always need somebody or something to keep you entertained. You tend to have many vices. You rarely feel inspired to get out of bed in the mornings. You wrestle with the green-eyed monster (envy). You're irrationally competitive with other people. You're critical—including super self-critical. I could go on and on, chile, but it all basically boils down to being weary with your life…because you're existing more than you're actually LIVING it.
Author Charles F. Glassman once said, "Even the smallest changes in our daily routine can create incredible ripple effects that expand our vision of what is possible." If you just read all of this and recognized that you are way more stuck in your comfort zone than you ever thought, the good news is that today you can make some real and significant changes. Try something new. Plan to do something that will help your strengths to shine through. Stop ignoring that voice in your head that keeps telling you to make that phone call, send that email or start that company.
Comfort zones may be comfortable but don't confuse it with stagnation. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. And that oftentimes requires breaking totally out of your comfort zone(s).
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
@cineaxries i love them 🤧 #janacraig #janaandkenny #loveislandusa #foryou #peacock #loveisland #janaloveisland #xybca #kennyloveisland #janaedit #loveislandedit #janaedits #loveislandusaedit #viral #loveislandusaseason6 #foryoupage #peacocktv
"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."
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If you’re someone who’s been rockin’ with us on this platform for several years now, you might’ve caught the title of this article and thought, “Now that sounds like something that’s been covered before.” And yes, you would be correct, somewhat, anyway. About three years ago, I penned the piece “7 Questions You Should Definitely Ask Yourself At The End Of Each Week” for the site.
The reason why this particular piece is A) not redundant and B) still necessary is because it’s one thing to complete a week; it’s another matter entirely to prepare for the next one — because, as one of my favorite preparation quotes states, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln said that. Know what else he once said? “I will prepare, and someday my chance will come.” Those are basically the former white president’s version of our, “If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.”
Oh, when it comes to accomplishing the things that we desire in this life, preparation is so essential. So, whether you’ve been journaling for years at this point or you’ve been wanting to start and you’re looking for a bit of inspiration to pen a few (more) entries, set aside 30 minutes or so this coming Friday or Saturday to answer the following seven questions. The self-reflection may be just the type of enlightenment and motivation that you need to stay fueled, reach goals, and refocus your energies — as you prepare for what is to come.
1. "Were my goals realistic?"
GiphyIt’s Venus Williams who once said, “Set realistic goals, keep re-evaluating, and be consistent.” If you add to that one of my favorite Message Version Scriptures, “It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it” (Ecclesiastes 7:18 — Message), you’ll probably see why I framed this question in the way that I did.
You know, I once read that a whopping 92 percent of people never reach their goals. Although some research says that the reason why is due to things like having too much on your plate and not having individuals to hold you accountable, I also believe that not coming up with goals that are realistic can play a significant role, too. For instance, if you make $45,000 a year and you want to buy a new car (not get a note; buy it flat-out and not used — brand spanking new), is it realistic that you can save enough to do that in six months (without messing with your savings)? How much stress is that going to put on you in other areas? Would something like 16 months make more sense?
Listen, life throws out enough curve balls without you being out here applying so much pressure to yourself that either you don’t get anything done or you don’t do things well. That said, for something to be seen as realistic, it needs to be practical — something that is literally attainable. When it comes to the short-term and long-term goals that you have put before you, how realistic are they? And when it comes to this week, specifically, how practical were you about having the time and energy to achieve some of the goals that are on your list?
2. "Did I make my (holistic) health a priority?"
GiphyYour health? It should take precedence over just about everything else that you’ve got on your plate, so let’s not tap dance around this one, okay? As you’re seeking the answer to this question:
- If you don’t exercise, your health is not a top priority.
- If you don’t know how to rest, your health is not a top priority.
- If you keep choosing people, places, things, and/or ideas that stress you out, your health is not a top priority.
- If you spend more time in drive-thrus than at your stove, your health is not a top priority.
- If you have poor boundaries at work, your health is not a top priority.
- If you’re in a relationship that is ultimately making you worse instead of better, your health is not a top priority.
- If you can’t remember the last time that you saw your doctor or dentist, your health is not a top priority.
- If you don’t have a day set aside, every week, where you can chill out for at least half of it, your health is not a top priority.
- If you don’t have a travel budget (even if it’s only ten bucks a paycheck), your health is not a top priority.
- If you say “yes” more than “no” to things that are asked of you, your health is not a top priority.
And listen, none of this is to make you feel bad; it’s simply a reminder that if you find yourself doing anything and everything but the 10 things that I just mentioned, there is no time like the present to make some changes — because, when it’s all said and done, if you’re not prioritizing what is best for your mind, body, and spirit, what’s the point in trying to do anything else? You won’t be in a good space to enjoy it.
3. "Did I feed my strengths instead of obsessing over my weaknesses?"
GiphySome of the best advice that I’ve ever heard is when I listened to a friend of mine by the name of Shannon Sanders speak at a local college several years back. He simply said, “You can work on your weaknesses and become mediocre or work on your strengths and become supernatural.” LISTEN. HERE.
Something that immediately comes to my mind about my own world is my writing vs. my singing. Even though I have people in my life who are surprised that I can sing as well as I do (because I don’t do it a lot; that wasn’t something that I was told I did well while growing up in my house), what I know that I have a gift for is writing. Sometimes, I can pen 10,000 words a day (no joke); that’s not bragging either because I know that it is a spiritual ability that God has given me. Anyway, because I see my singing as a talent and my writing as a gift (and yes, there is a difference), I have always chosen to spend more time strengthening my keystrokes — and boy, has it paid off…literally and figuratively!
Although our negative bias tends to make us want to hone in on what we are so-so at or even what we wish we could do as well as other people, imagine what you could accomplish if you put that energy into your strengths and gifts instead. Towards the end of this week, jot down five things that you know you are pretty “next level” at (and yes, if you really think about it, there are some things). Then, come up with a plan for how you are going to sharpen those abilities over the next several days. Then, every week, rinse and repeat.
4. "What were my biggest time wasters?"
GiphyA part of the reason why I’ve written articles for this platform like “Love Is Patient. But Is Your Relationship Just Wasting Your Time?” and “These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time” is because I wholeheartedly believe that one of the worst things that you could ever do is waste your time or allow someone else to do it. Why? Because no matter how much we like to romanticize matters and claim that we can “redeem” time, we really can’t. Not fully, anyway. Once today is gone, it’s a wrap.
Once your next birthday comes around, you are a year older and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. Now, can you double or triple up on efforts on another day? Sure. However, imagine if you simply used each 24-hour day wisely instead of wearing yourself out thin to make up for (literal) lost time. That said, honestly, the fact that the average person spends around 2.5 hours on social media on a daily basis?
Unless it’s work-related, I don’t see how that’s not a waste of time. Reading about other people’s business, debating with trolls, wishing that your life was like the screenshot of someone else’s — how is that making the most of your time? In two-and-a-half hours, you could meal prep for the week, have sex with your partner, and take a power nap. All of those things benefit you personally. Can you say the same thing about whatever you’re watching (or is it being distracted by?) on TikTok every day?
I mean…can you?
5. "Who/What was my greatest teacher? Who/What was my greatest hindrance?"
GiphyPersonally, something that is like fingernails on the chalkboard to/for me is when someone does something that is clearly silly, stupid, or dangerous, and then, when they tell another person and that individual brings the ridiculousness to their attention, their response is something along the lines of, “Hey, you’re not supposed to judge me.” What in the world? Sometimes judgment is a form of accountability and yes, we all need that.
That’s why, when it comes to this particular question, I’m not saying that your teacher has to be someone who told you what you wanted to hear; hell, they don’t even have to be someone who you particularly like. This question is all about who is the individual who gave you the most profound ah-ha moment, who provided a perspective that you wouldn’t have considered otherwise, who challenged you in a way that, deep down, you know that you absolutely needed; who showed you something about yourself that you know you need to change and/or who said something that you know will stick with you for the long haul?
In this life — if we’re all truly paying attention, that is — not a day goes by when we’re not a teacher to someone and a student to someone (sometimes both at the same time). This week, who served as your greatest teacher?
It doesn’t stop there, though. As I was in the process of writing my latest book, I sat and thought about how many ideas that I’ve imparted into others that have turned out to be very lucrative for them. You know, sometimes, I would get so caught up in basically consulting for free that it took away from my own desires and potential projects.
Now, when it comes to my peeps, my tribe, my folks, that’s different. Random individuals, though? It’s funny how, after a while, people can start to act like they are entitled to your pearls of wisdom. Those types? They are what I consider to be hindrances because a hindrance is anything or anyone that/who impedes, stops, or prevents something that you are trying to accomplish.
Here’s the thing about hindrances, too — sometimes they can be fun; that doesn’t mean they still aren’t in the way, though (yeah, somebody really needed to hear that). So, when it comes to certain things that you are looking to do in this season of your life, ponder what or who hindered that this week. Then, going into next week, make a promise to yourself that you will either remove it or them altogether or that you will set some firm limits until what you are trying to do actually gets…DONE.
6. "What do I need to do differently?"
GiphyAlthough there is a lot about Dr. Phil that I side-eye, there are a couple of things that he has said that stick with me (in a good way). One is whenever someone will try to justify their either counterproductive or straight-up toxic behavior and he’ll simply say, “Uh-uh. And how is that working for ya?” Doing something a certain way simply because that’s how you’ve always done it (or your family has always done it)? That really isn’t a good enough reason — not if trying a different approach is going to prove to be more productive and beneficial for you.
So, whether it’s the route that you take to work (the one that constantly keeps you stuck in traffic), the way that you prioritize your to-do list (when it always leaves you with several unchecked things), or how you put others’ needs ahead of your own (to the point where you have no time for a bubble bath or money in your budget to pamper yourself) — definitely take out a moment to ponder if you need to do some tweaking or switching up when it comes to certain ways that you go about doing things.
Because if you can’t see clear signs of how you are currently moving in life is holistically benefitting you, you need to do something — or some things — very differently. And there is no time like the present.
7. "Did I celebrate myself?"
GiphyOne of my friends is currently working on her dissertation — while she is teaching at a college. Chile, being a student and a teacher at the same time?! I can’t even imagine. Anyway, for pretty obvious reasons, we don’t talk as much as we used to (right through here) because it’s not like she’s exactly “big on words” these days. However, as we were catching up recently, she told me that she has reached another milestone in her dissertation process, and I said, “So, what did you do to celebrate?”I was almost pissed that all I heard was crickets over the phone.
“Shellie, it’s not like I completed it; the next step just got approved.”
Girl, what are you even talking about? I promise I’m not hearing you.
Another reason why a lot of us struggle with going as far in life as we want to is that we spend — which is more like waste — more time thinking about how much we want/need to do as opposed to taking out moments to actually celebrate the progress that we’ve made thus far. That’s why in a previous article, I referenced the importance of rewarding oneself, in other articles, I talk about why you should toast yourself (hell, I do that on an almost daily basis at this point) and, in this one, I’m wrapping this up by encouraging you, at the end of every week and then as a pat on the back for preparing for the next, to celebrate yourself.
It boosts self-confidence. It reminds you to honor how far you’ve come. It helps you to not feel defeated along the way.
So, this weekend, don’t forget to do something that will cause you to praise yourself. Praise is simply a form of approval, and when you’ve ended one week and then put steps in place to have an even better one, you definitely should pat yourself on the back for doing that! In some form or fashion — fresh flowers, a bottle of wine, a pint of ice cream, a new color lipstick, some sexy pajamas…something — please make sure that you do.
This week…and every single week that is to follow.
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