
Shaunie Henderson isn’t new to the game. The mother of five was thrust into the public spotlight behind the shadow of a famous husband, endured merciless rumor mills, and rebuilt her life on her own terms while the world plotted on her downfall. Today, she’s a one-woman empire, having spawned a cultural revolution with the reality series Basketball Wives, as well as the six spinoff shows created in its wake.
Lauded by some and critiqued by others, Henderson’s brainchild launched the careers of women who, too, were once lost behind the romantic figures in their lives. Allowing larger-than-life personalities like Tami Roman, Jackie Christie, Evelyn Lozada, and Draya Michele to create lucrative careers of their own. Lifting the veil of the once-only glamorized life of those linked to the world’s most famous athletes was a risk and often left Henderson in the crossfire of criticism. However, the show’s longevity—11 seasons and counting—speaks for itself.
In 2022, the mogul married Pastor Keion Henderson of The Lighthouse Church, marking a new chapter in her life and bringing about a new chorus of dissenters. What did she know about being a first lady? About as much as she knew about executive producing a hit TV series back in 2010, one would guess. Nonetheless, she boldly stepped into another spotlight, never cowered, and embraced her position in a world that never planned to accept her.
Now, with the release of her memoir Undefeated, the multi-hyphenate adds author to her resume in a major way. Aside from the headlines, the book offers a real look into the making of a modern Renaissance woman whose resilience is key to her success. Having sidestepped every offense thrown her way, Henderson has proven time and time again that she plays by her own rules. And, more often than not, she wins.
xoNecole spoke to Shaunie ahead of the book’s release about what she’s learned on her journey, her favorite Basketball Wives moments, and what she would tell her younger self.
xoNecole: Why choose to be so deeply personal at this point in your life?
Shaunie Henderson: It was a bit therapeutic for me. I think just being able to write down things that I never actually talked about made me more comfortable. I started the journey of writing this book, probably around 2018 and I stopped out of fear. I picked it back up on and off. And finally just decided to knock it out and see how I feel about it. I just felt good writing about everything, finally. I think that as I wrote it, I realized I wished somebody had told me some of these things a little earlier in life. Maybe, I would have done better and made smarter decisions. I know I needed to go through my journey so that I could end up exactly where I am right now, but I also think that with a little guidance, your journey can be a little easier.
xoN: You share a lot about what you’ve learned along the way in 'Undefeated' but if there’s one thing that has been the most pivotal to where you are today, what would be that thing?
SH: You're not always going to come out on top, but I really live by the name of my book, Undefeated. It’s how I feel about anything that I enter into. It can be kind of addicting to have that feeling of being undefeated and just wanting to win all the time. But you got to realize that the experience, the journey, and the opportunity whether win, lose, or draw— it's never a loss. You never lose. You gain something out of it, even if it's just the wisdom of knowing what not to do.
xoN: When you're in the public eye, people tend to write their own narratives about who you are. Is there a certain level of freedom in knowing that sometimes you can't change people's minds no matter what you do?
SH: I think that comes eventually. There was a time that I very much cared, and it would bother me. When I first started Basketball Wives, everyone was on Twitter saying exactly what they felt, and they used to eat me up. I would be in the comments arguing with people. It’s easy to think that you just “don’t care,” but you just develop thick skin after a while. At this point in the game, I’m numb to it. Plus, I am absolutely positively convinced that people love content with no context. They want to take five words out of a sentence of 12, make it into what they want so they can have an opinion online, argue with people in the comments, and get more attention that day than they’ve had all month.
What I do care about are the opinions of those I genuinely love and care about. I care about their perspective.
xoN: One thing you bravely address in the book is the personal cost of the lifestyle that a lot of people covet. What advice would you give to a young Shaunie or any woman who might be looking at certain lifestyles, desiring that, and not understanding what comes with it?
SH: If I was talking to the younger Shaunie and I was in the same situation, I would just say, ‘Don't forget you.’ I got lost, and I didn't realize I was drowning in that shadow. I just never established anything for me. I didn't establish a business. I didn't establish a purpose. I wasn't even looking for one and didn't know how to find one. I was a mom of five, a wife, and all those things. And it was great. But there were times where I was just bored out of my mind. So I would encourage young me to realize that I still matter. And that I have to put myself in a position to realize my purpose. I would go after some goals and career aspirations. You have to fight for those and really push for them when you’re in a situation where it’s easy to get comfortable.
I would have also put something aside for me that wasn’t given to me. I would have established some level of independence. Because when it’s cut off, it’s over.
"I got lost, and I didn't realize I was drowning in that shadow. I just never established anything for me. I didn't establish a business. I didn't establish a purpose. I wasn't even looking for one and didn't know how to find one. I was a mom of five, a wife, and all those things. And it was great. But there were times where I was just bored out of my mind. So I would encourage young me to realize that I still matter. And that I have to put myself in a position to realize my purpose."
xoN: There was a significant time between your first marriage and your current one. What behaviors did you have to unlearn in order to enter into a healthy relationship?
SH: I had to learn how to soften myself and allow my husband to lead me. I had to let him be a gentleman. I was single for a long time and became totally dependent on only myself. I didn't have anybody opening my car door and making sure that gas was in my car or that it was washed. Things were done around the house because I either told my sons to do it or did it myself. So to have a man in my life that made me feel so safe and secure, I just became real dainty. Women need to have that trust in their partner.
xoN: You’ve occupied a lot of spaces in your life in a non-traditional way. For example, you wrote about not treating new basketball wives and girlfriends the way that you were treated or not being what people think a “first lady” should be in the religious sector. How much of that is intentional?
SH: I think that's just who I am. I can’t say I intentionally go against the grain. In the book, I talk about things from my childhood, like my dad being late all the time. I was totally opposite with my kids when they were in school. I was always there early. My mother is not affectionate, and she doesn't verbally say, ‘I love you,’ but she does things to let you know. That's the way she shows her love.
But because I missed that 'I love you' and hugging and kissing, I do that with my kids. I try to always give what I needed myself. There were basketball wives who weren’t very nice to me, so I went out of my way to make sure that once I was a wife that I didn't treat anybody else like that. No one was going to feel like that on my watch.
xoN: I imagine it’s a little more difficult to establish your own rhythm in a church setting.
SH: As far as being first lady, now, I'm not knocking how any first ladies decide to operate but I just knew that the idea of what that usually is was not me. And, to be honest, rightfully so. I'm probably the only first lady that created a reality show that has been on television since 2010. My life is not remotely close to that of most first ladies. We've experienced completely different things. Most of them have been pastor’s wives for a long time, this is all new for me. I come with an entirely different journey; that wouldn’t lend itself to being a traditional first lady.
xoN: 'Basketball Wives' has always been heavily criticized for its portrayal of women on the show. It’s not the first or only of its kind, but what do you think gives way to the ire that this show, specifically, gets?
SH: We just tend to tear our own people up for whatever reason. When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children. Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen.
I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise.
"When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children. Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen."
xoN: So what have been your most cherished 'Basketball Wives' moments?
SH: It was probably the day after the infamous fight between Tami Roman and Evelyn Lozada. Evelyn had coined the “non-mf factor” phrase, and production had broken up their fight the night before. Me and her were on the beach, and Tami called to see what I was up to. I told her I was with Evelyn, and she said she was coming to meet us. I'm thinking I'm about to be in part two. There's no security, we were off for the day and I was sure it was about to be horrible. Tami gets there. She’s already got her cigarette lit, her bob is bouncing as she walks up to us, and I just remember her saying, ‘What y’all heffas doing?’ It was just like nothing had happened at all. It was like they fought, they got it out, and she was off to the next thing.
Those type of moments I wish people could experience and see that although things happen that seem outrageous, it’s all love. It doesn't always end up perfect. But for the most part, we have had a really, really good time.
xoN: Lastly, what do you want people to walk away from 'Undefeated' understanding about Shaunie?
SH: That my resilience has shaped me into the Shaunie I am today. And I honestly believe that it's all in God's timing. We might not understand it as it's happening, but he does all things perfect. I can sit back now and be the happiest version of myself that I've ever been, with the understanding that it was just God's timing. It all had to happen the way it happened because now I'm enjoying where I am. And I would have never been able to accomplish being as intentional about everything that I do without the journey that I experienced to get here.
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Feature image by Keith Majors
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
I seriously doubt that it will come as a shock to anyone reading this that the “official” cold (and flu) seasons are considered to be during the fall and wintertime. However, what kinda tripped me out is that there really are only a few months of the year when we aren’t susceptible to catching a cold: May-July. SMDH.
Know what else is wild about colds? They have five stages: incubation (1-2 days); symptom onset (1-2 days); peak symptoms (1-2 days); plateau (2-3 days), and recovery (3-5 days) — and that is why, sometimes, it can seem like it takes FOREVER to get over a cold. Also, SMDH.
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider

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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil

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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C

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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST

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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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