Serial Entrepreneur Shanicia Boswell Needs You To Know That Every Loss Is An Opportunity To Level Up
In xoNecole's series Mother/Hustler, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Good things fall apart so better things can fall together and this is big facts. Just ask Black Moms Blog creator, Shanicia Boswell, who wants you to know that every loss is just another opportunity to level up.
Before becoming a multi-hyphenate hustler and amassing more than 500K followers on Instagram, Shanicia was an engaged, stay-at-home mom living out what she now calls a "faux fairytale". But three and a half years ago in one helluva plot twist, the serial entrepreneur quickly became a homeless, single mother whose only goal was survival. She told xoNecole, "My fiance came home and told me he no longer wanted to be in a relationship and I had 30 days to move out of our home. Just like that. We had been arguing lately but not enough to think it was that drastic. I was completely unprepared."
It was then that Shanicia says that she officially hit "rock bottom". Now having to depend on friends and part-time jobs to sustain her and her young daughter, Kamryn, Shanicia gave herself a week to ugly cry about her newfound situation and tapped into her hustler mentality like clockwork. "From that point forward, stress and pain would not be my story," she shared.
At the time, Black Moms Blog was a modest community of no more than 50,000 members, but it wasn't until being encouraged to monetize the platform that Shanicia turned her dollar and a dream into a hustle that could pay the bills. She continued, "I literally gave my all to my business when I had nothing to even give. Within 6 months, I had monetized my platform to more than $16,000. I got a part-time job on the side working about 15 hours a week and moved my daughter and I back into the same building that my ex kicked us out of. I quit that part-time job one year later."
Not only did sis quit the job, she created a whole movement; and xoNecole recently s at down with Shanicia to get the 411 on dating, self-care, and how she thrives in her industry while being a bomb ass mom at the same damn time.
What’s your occupation?
This is always such a loaded answer...I am working on mainstreaming an exact title but for now, I call myself a serial entrepreneur. I am most widely known for creating Black Moms Blog, the largest news and media website specifically dedicated to parenting, culture, and lifestyle from a Black mom's point of view. I am also a photographer/content creator and just recently launched my third business, The Self Care Retreats, where I take women on international destinations around the world.
Are you single?
Girl, yes. Sometimes I say that I am single with pride and other times I claim singledom with a feeling of sadness. It's rare we actually admit that as millennials, yes, I would like to be married. And for me, I had all those things once––the ring, the family, the picture-perfect situation but I started it all with a man that just wasn't ready and when it all fell apart, he admitted that he actually didn't want the same things I wanted. We made better friends and co-parents instead of lovers. And that's okay too. I have started to mentally position myself to manifest a different answer to this question.
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
I am a Pisces, so my levels of chill are completely unmatched. In seriousness though, self-care is a part of my daily routine...from sleeping with my phone on do not disturb, to napping, to finding time to run warm baths in the middle of the day. I don't say that as a way to brag –– I say that because I am proud of how far I have come in caring for myself. For a lot of us as women, we don't learn how to handle stress until we hit rock bottom and that is what happened to me. I handle moments of feeling overwhelmed by stopping it before it happens.
As a mother, I have very candid conversations with my daughter about stress. If I am running on a high frequency day, I am normally more irritable than not and so I make sure to let her know what it is so that she does not internalize any guilt. One of the most important things I can do is teach my daughter how to pick up energy and vibes so that she can avoid internalized guilt. Reading people is a superpower.
"I handle moments of feeling overwhelmed by stopping it before it happens. As a mother, I have very candid conversations with my daughter about stress. If I am running on a high frequency day, I am normally more irritable than not and so I make sure to let her know what it is so that she does not internalize any guilt. Reading people is a superpower."
What’s the hardest part of your day?
I can honestly admit that I don't have a lot of "hard" parts in my day. What makes a day hard exactly? I released my own personal guilts a long time ago so I don't beat myself up over things that are unchangeable. I flow. I adapt. I still get things done.
How (and how often) do you practice self-care?
You hear this a lot now, about self-care not just being about getting your nails done and spa days. It is true. I practice self-care mentally by reserving time to myself. I practice self-care financially by protecting my assets and creating stability in my credit to be able to purchase a home. I practice self-care in my spirit by not being involved with things that truly serve no higher purpose to my wellbeing.
On a not so deep level, I love to tell moms, find a way to make self-care realistic for you. Every woman doesn't need a two-week vacation out of the country. Sometimes you just need a Snickers bar hiding in the bathroom from your kids. Don't feel guilty for that.
When do you feel most productive?
I feel most productive early in the mornings between the hours of 4-6 am. It seems so cliche but it is very true. When I am going through an extreme bout of creativity, my body naturally wakes up at that time, full of energy and I try to get it down on paper or on my computer before it goes away. The world is so still at that time. I am not interrupted by my phone or the sounds of the city. The air is cool. It is my favorite time to work.
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
Refer to my zodiac, me-time is just what I do! But seriously, I am an extroverted introvert. Being an entrepreneur and public speaker, I have learned how to handle my anxiety but being in large crowds make me nervous. My favorite thing to do is to be home alone with my laptop, a glass of wine, and good music. As a mom, bedtime is really important in my household. My daughter goes to bed at 8 pm because I need those hours towards the end of the evening to turn my brain down and find my peace before bed.
Being single and raising children isn't easy but it forces you to instill boundaries even within your own household. On Sundays, my daughter and I practice separate togetherness; it is where we spend time alone, but together. I may read a book in the living room while she sits in her room and colors. She knows that is mommy's me time and I teach her to value her own alone time and personal space.
"Being single and raising children isn't easy but it forces you to instill boundaries even within your own household. On Sundays, my daughter and I practice separate togetherness; it is where we spend time alone, but together. I may read a book in the living room while she sits in her room and colors. She knows that is mommy's me time and I teach her to value her own alone time and personal space."
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned as an entrepreneur?
The most important lesson that I have learned as an entrepreneur is that it is never too late to start over. Rebranding is a blessing given to most of us because if we have been doing entrepreneurship right, we normally have a few things in place that allow us to pump the brakes for a second and evaluate where we are in our businesses.
What is the most important lesson you want your kid(s) to learn from you?
It is so important for me to teach my daughter her self-worth early in life. I didn't learn this lesson until well into my late 20s and I suffered a great deal of rejection, guilt, and heartache because of it. For many of us, as Black women, we just weren't raised with this idea that we were the prize. We saw our mamas handling everything on their own. They carried the weight of their entire households on their shoulders. Who had time to build up their children when the bills were due and mama was the only one paying it?
That anger and frustration from Black moms came out in a dramatic speech of self-reliance, get an education, and you especially don't rely on a man! Do you know how damaging that is? So instead, especially for many little Black girls, their self-esteem was built up and torn apart by toxic romantic relationships and mean girl friendships. I refuse to build my daughter up on guilt and bitterness.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
I used to judge people who didn't have children. My single, childless friends would tell me how they were struggling to get it together and all I could think about was, if I had that much time on my hands, I would be lightyears ahead of where I am now. Here is what I realized over the years of running multiple businesses and raising my daughter: being a mother has benefited my entrepreneurial journey. It sets my schedule.
Being a mother provided me with a level of stability and balance that helped me to view my entire life with extreme clarity. I learned not to be so judgmental against people that did not have kids and started to be thankful for the blessing of my own.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a mom who runs a business?
The biggest challenge I've faced as a mom who runs a business is in my dating life. Because I am a mother, most men I meet know that they need to be serious to pursue me because there is another life involved in our decision-making. My timing and flexibility require you to actually make a plan to see me because I have a child.
Most people pity single women with children so men always want to play hero. When I tell them no, she actually has an active father and yes, I do pay my own bills, run my own business, and travel at leisure, most men find a level of intimidation in those things. If I am already doing these things for myself, for a man that doesn't have his own things together, that can make him question if he will be able to provide for me in the ways that I am able to provide for myself. I found myself shrinking back in order to appear softer and more vulnerable for men until one day I had to realize that what God has for me is mine and the man He has set aside for me will love me in as my full and joyous self.
"If I am already doing these things for myself, for a man that doesn't have his own things together, that can make him question if he will be able to provide for me in the ways that I am able to provide for myself. I found myself shrinking back in order to appear softer and more vulnerable for men until one day I had to realize that what God has for me is mine and the man He has set aside for me will love me in as my full and joyous self."
What advice do you have for moms who are looking to start their business but haven’t taken a step out on faith yet?
Just do it. Do not let the fear of these internet streets keep you from your blessing. Stop comparing and just go. Stop worrying about trying to gain someone else's audience and focus on those that already believe in you. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, they just need to be put into action. You got this!
Do you think it’s important to keep your personal and professional life separate? Why or why not?
One of the greatest challenges in entrepreneurship is learning how to be transparent with your audience while not revealing every part of your life to your audience. I don't believe everything needs to be shared. You don't have to share every pitfall to be real. It's okay to take some of your L's in private. It is okay to go on vacation and not share all the photos. And for women, it is perfectly okay to keep that relationship private until he proposes to make you his wife.
What advice do you have when it comes to time management as a mogul mommy?
As a mommy mogul, I manage time by honoring my self-care. Making time to center myself is just as important as making time to attend meetings. I chose this career path for my true passion for women empowerment and motherhood but also to have a life of freedom and flexibility. If I am not honoring those things, working for myself will become just as miserable as working for someone else.
"I chose this career path for my true passion for women empowerment and motherhood but also to have a life of freedom and flexibility. If I am not honoring those things, working for myself will become just as miserable as working for someone else."
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
Financial planning is part of self-care. Can we put that on a t-shirt? My advice to women for financial planning is don't let the daunting thought of getting your finances in order scare you from actually doing it. Get help. There are so many programs and companies that help with credit repair and homeownership. When it comes to your business, learn how tax breaks can help you and where to invest your money for greater returns. Financial freedom should always be the goal and the only way to do it successfully is to just start the process. Just start.
To learn more about Shanicia and join the Black Moms Blog movement, follow her on Instagram @ShaniciaBoswell!
Featured image courtesy of @ShaniciaBoswell.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Amber Riley Is In Her Element
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Introducing Chief Mom Officer: Where Working Moms Come First
xoNecole's Chief Mom Officer explores the 18-month post-pregnancy journey through the lens of our very own Chief Mom Officer, Shakyna Bolden. The series will serve as an inspirational and resourceful guide to help get through the early days of new motherhood as working moms knowing they are not alone in the hardships.
“I want to build my work around my life, and not my life around my work.”
I typed these words in my iPhone Notes as I fed my newborn daughter one morning during the first few weeks of having her earthside. I didn’t have much time for page-filled journal entries as my days were filled with nonstop feedings, soothing, and recovery…but I knew I needed to give those words space and life.
Prior to my maternity leave, I, like most working moms, was burning fumes juggling work and life. Since 2019, I’ve been running revenue operations here at this really cool company you may have heard of called xoNecole (hehe). I’ve been behind the scenes building our brand partnerships and negotiating deals with companies such as Ulta Beauty, Toyota, Target, Spotify, SheaMoisture, etc.
Courtesy of Shakyna Bolden
I’ve co-produced our signature events like ElevateHER and Pajamas & Lipstick while conceptualizing, selling, building, and distributing our original video and podcast content and podcast. The list goes on and on. I’ve helped build this small but brilliant company into what it is today, all while running my own small family. And that is not an easy feat.
In all truth, trying to be the best mom and partner I can be while also leading in my job has felt at times like a whirlwind where the rest of my life is passing me by. I don’t quite know where or when it happened, but I swear somebody pushed the fast-forward button in life, and I’m losing my edges trying to keep up.
My mind and body get so preoccupied with the management of life that my soul sits on the sidelines, waiting to take the reins and intentionally live it.
So many facets of my life, from my health and well-being to my hobbies and passions, have been placed on the back burner while tending to my young family and growing in my career has taken center stage. And for the longest time, I’ve wanted to flip the switch, but the pace of life just hasn’t let me restack my priorities.
That is, until now.
Courtesy of Shakyna Bolden
When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter last year, I couldn’t imagine adding more to my already full plate. Simultaneously, I was also relieved to know that my upcoming maternity leave would force me to press pause and catch my breath. Her birth in January 2023 was a much-needed reset, to say the least.
My maternity leave was the first time since 2019 that I had a second for dreams that were buried in the back of my heart to bubble up to the surface of my reality. I got a taste of what it was like to solely focus on my well-being and my home life. And I liked it a lot. My healing. My recovery. Sitting and really taking quiet time with God to search the unattended areas in the garden of my life.
I was cooking homemade meals on the regular and actually sitting down with my family at the table to eat. As grueling as those first newborn weeks can be, I was enjoying the long-awaited shift in my priorities; and I wanted that shift to stick. I didn’t want it to fade away after my maternity leave.
I want to build my work around my life and not my life around my work.
As a leader of an organization that speaks to millions of women every day about their well-being (and also in leading a team of majority women), I feel it’s my responsibility to carry this shift forward boldly. This is why I’m launching a new column here at xoNecole: Chief Mom Officer!
As I return to work full-time this month from my maternity leave, I want to regularly share my experience of trying to harmonize work and life. As an audience, you all share your raw, unfiltered journeys with us. For years, they’ve undoubtedly inspired me. I want to show up and do the same because I know this shift in my life will be quite the journey.
So for all my Chief Mom Officers—those of us who are constantly merging the imperfect and chaotic worlds of leadership in the office and wearing our crowns at home—I invite you to come on this journey with me and celebrate the ebbs and flows in how we show up for each.
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Featured image courtesy of Shakyna Bolden