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Teyonna Lanez
Teyonna Lanez is a brand strategist and producer with a love for doing the inner and outer work -- mindset shifting and marketing. The Atlanta native is passionate about social media storytelling and sharing positive affirmations to help people maintain inner peace despite external chaos. Connect with on Instagram @TeyonnaLanez or on her site TeyonnaLanez.com.
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<p>These days, dating someone and making the decision to commit can be trickier than we anticipated, for both men and women. In this day and age, it's a lot different than the cute folded piece of paper you pass in grade school checking the 'Yes' or 'No' box answering the question, "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" We can also agree that the type of title we want for our relationships have changed over time too. How we go about titles are way more fluid and is now based on preferences, <a data-linked-post="2638981519" href="https://www.xonecole.com/willow-smith-polyamory-men-women/" target="_blank">lifestyles</a>, and honestly to protect ourselves from past experiences. But, it is still a fact that <a data-linked-post="2646852904" href="https://www.xonecole.com/relationship-has-no-title-does-it-exist/" target="_blank">titles</a> are alive and well and they mean something to all of us. </p><p>I know, for me, as a woman, I like titles for my <a data-linked-post="2646415441" href="https://www.xonecole.com/three-c-s-of-healthy-relationships/" target="_blank">relationships</a>. I am not ashamed to say that I have had my moments saying these exact words, "So, <a data-linked-post="2635962552" href="https://www.xonecole.com/what-makes-a-woman-wife-material/" target="_blank">what are we</a>?" But what do you do when the guy you are dating is not on board with the title train? While I can assume all day why a guy would not want to put a title on it, I decided to talk to the source. I asked twelve of my brothas from far and wide to answer a few questions on titles and get to the bottom of why <a data-linked-post="2637395324" href="https://www.xonecole.com/heres-how-you-know-he-wont-commit-to-you-like-ever/" target="_blank">committing to a woman</a> is something that is or isn't on the agenda.</p><p><em>Disclaimer: For the sake of privacy, some men have asked to stay anonymous for this interview.</em></p>
What does it mean when a guy says he “doesn’t like titles” to a woman he’s dating?
<p><strong></strong><strong>Donaray, 31 </strong>– "For me, I would know. If I like a woman, I would give myself the proper space to get to know her. So even if a guy says he doesn't like titles or doesn't know if he wants to commit, subconsciously, he knows. Us men genuinely don't want to play around with a woman's emotions. If you put a title on things too early and it doesn't play out well, it's almost like playing with someone's emotions. So saying 'I don't want to put a title to it' is like a safety precaution."</p> <p><strong>Anonymous, 30</strong> – "Some people really just don't like titles. The guy could be <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/men-thoughts-casual-dating-courtship-commitment/" data-linked-post="2645141953" target="_blank">ready for a relationship</a> but feels that titles get in the way. He may be coming from [the fact] that he doesn't need the title of 'boyfriend' to treat a woman special or a certain type of way. That may just not be his thing."</p> <p><strong>Mike, 32</strong> – "I think when a guy says he doesn't like titles, it can mean he wants to keep his options open. Some people do not believe in commitment, but they want the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. Past examples of how they view love can play a factor into that."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMjczNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTgyMjUwMH0.spC-CpuZ_uiFIny2B8nIeC7r88v7yXSKS1c3ZDn8ABw/img.jpg?width=980" id="ca26c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6bdf1656cb3a78559acdd4938c57b7c0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
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<h5>"I think when a guy says he doesn't like titles, it can mean he wants to keep his options open. Some people do not believe in commitment, but they want the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. Past examples of how they view love can play a factor into that."</h5><div class="ad-tag">
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Has there ever been a point in your life where you weren’t into giving titles to a relationship?
<p><strong>BK, 28</strong> – "When I've said it, I think I just wasn't <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/we-talked-to-men-on-when-they-know-theyre-ready-for-love-for-review/" data-linked-post="2641010917" target="_blank">ready</a>. I wasn't ready because I just had no idea what putting a title on it actually meant. I didn't know what I would be signing up for, so I wasn't going to be successful. I would've automatically started to get into something haphazardly. Growing up, I understood relationships from what I saw on TV. The guy is doing everything he can to make the girl happy. Not really thinking about how miserable that must be for the guy. So I'm thinking, if I'm spending all this time and money just to keep her happy, then at what point do I get poured into? It just messed up my perception. Now I know, relationships are built on beautiful moments, even the small ones."</p><p><strong>Steven, 29 </strong>– "I'm a guy that wears his heart on his sleeve. If I want to be with somebody, I am actively saying I want this commitment and I want there to be a title with it. There was a time when I was dating a woman and I wasn't ready to make it official at that time. I didn't specifically say I didn't want a title. When she told me that she wanted me to be her boyfriend, I didn't say 'no' but I didn't say 'yes'. I kind of brushed it off."</p><p><strong>Cory, 32</strong> – "When I was younger, if you asked me to put a title on a relationship, I would get freaked out. I had <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/shawniece-and-jephte/" data-linked-post="2556333626" target="_blank">trust issues</a> and I didn't want anyone to hurt me. I wasn't ready mentally and I had insecurities. I felt a title would add more pressure where I have to do everything right and I can't make any mistakes."</p>How do you feel about titles when it comes to your own relationship?
<p><strong>BK, 28 </strong>– "I think a <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/10-married-couples-share-the-keys-to-their-totally-off-the-chain-sex-life/" data-linked-post="2639733485" target="_blank">monogamous marriage</a> is in my wheelhouse just as much as an <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/willow-smith-polyamory-men-women/" data-linked-post="2638981519" target="_blank">open relationship</a> or life partner. I'm not big on possession. I feel like titles at times creates this idea that 'you're mine, you belong to me.' Honestly, I don't ever want to feel like I belong to anyone. I believe people should be experienced and titles, when used as a mandate, cuts you off from getting to know people that could really make an impact in your life."</p><p><strong>Jeremy, 26</strong> – "I don't have a problem with titles for my relationship. I actually prefer it that way. I feel most men, if they are really interested in a woman, they wouldn't have a problem with titles. The same way women do not want us out here talking to anybody else, we feel the same exact way about the woman that we like."</p><p><strong>Hasani, 28</strong> – "I'm not a huge proponent on titles. It's because of the expectations that comes with it. Once that title is reached, sometimes the flow of the relationship doesn't continue. I believe everything has to flow naturally and not forcing anything by putting a title on it. But I understand people need that for reassurance."</p><div class="ad-tag">
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<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMjY5MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNTYyMDM3Mn0.6-ryfYydSrjO2MGq2nIwy9eWyAEOqbVN9tRmeGQDg0I/img.jpg?width=980" id="36865" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="acf7556bb33c8b451ed840c1734169f3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
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<h5>"Honestly, I don't ever want to feel like I belong to anyone. I believe people should be experienced and titles, when used as a mandate, cuts you off from getting to know people that could really make an impact in your life."</h5>Why do you think a title might be important to the overall flow of a healthy relationship?
<p><strong></strong><strong>Donaray, 31</strong> – "Titles define things. There's no ambiguity when there's a title. There's a lot of mystery without a title and people don't deserve that. It's a busy world out here, where we gotta deal with so much stuff. Why would I want to deal with bullshit in my intimate connections too by not putting a title on it?"</p><p> <strong>DeAndre, 29</strong> – "I honestly don't think it is important. If there is a mutual understanding of how you feel towards that person, I don't think you need that. If I had to put value on titles, it helps people know who they are to someone. People have ideas of what a girlfriend or boyfriend is. My idea of what a boyfriend is could be different from your idea of what that is. So if we have <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/8-things-men-need-that-many-of-us-keep-not-giving-them/" data-linked-post="2636056443" target="_blank">clear communication</a> upfront, I don't see the point in a title."</p><p><strong>Rashaun, 27</strong> – "I think for some people titles brings that clarity. Titles can help set a precedence and lets the people involved establish a direction that the relationship is going. Titles also come with the obligation of trying to make the other person happy. But in a relationship, yes you can contribute to someone's happiness, but in its essence, it is not your job to <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/kofi-siriboe-on-why-he-is-single/" data-linked-post="2639129057" target="_blank">make your partner happy</a>. You still have to be individuals, whether you have a title or not."</p><div class="ad-tag">
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Does a title make or break a relationship?
<p><strong></strong><strong>Sean, 28</strong> – "I think for some people not putting a title on something allows you more room for error. I can mess up more or the other person can mess up and I'm telling myself that I won't be as hurt because we don't have a title. But that's not reality. Feelings are still going to develop and you can build as many walls as you can. You are still affected by that person's actions regardless if there is a title."</p><p><strong>Anonymous, 30</strong> – "A title is powerful, but a title alone doesn't hold weight. It's really about the connection you have. Look at real estate, you have titles or deeds on a house. You can get the title to the house, that's cool. But if the foundation isn't solid and the floors are uneven or there's cracks in the concrete, you get an idea of how much love was put into it. A title is just a word to me. It's about the love that's put into the relationship that's important, before the title."</p><p><strong>Steven, 29</strong> – "Titles can put a level of pressure on your relationship. But from my perspective, I don't mind a title because I date with intention. Even after my divorce, I still desire a strong relationship with a title. I think a title can make your relationship with the right person and break your relationship with the wrong person."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMjc1MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjQyODY5N30.ozchbsXO6qAOFTxWUtTvuFEdbfhxYLko3i3wog8DEwk/img.jpg?width=980" id="48975" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f96d3544447bb885813572463c95fbea" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
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<h5>"A title is powerful, but a title alone doesn't hold weight. It's really about the connection you have. Look at real estate, you have titles or deeds on a house. You can get the title to the house, that's cool. But if the foundation isn't solid and the floors are uneven or there's cracks in the concrete, you get an idea of how much love was put into it. A title is just a word to me. It's about the love that's put into the relationship that's important, before the title."</h5><div class="ad-tag">
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What do you think is the most important attribute that calls you to invest in a relationship with a woman, giving her the title/commitment?
<p><strong></strong><strong>BK, 28</strong> – "I think energy because you can recognize this is a person you can talk to and have fun with. Whether that's on a date or just in the crib tweakin'. Having the opportunity to date someone that's just as fun as you are is a great feeling." </p><p><strong>Sean, 28</strong> – "I like <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/8-things-you-should-do-daily-to-keep-your-relationship-strong/" data-linked-post="2633645639" target="_blank">consistency</a> and a woman who is considerate. I look at the potential and if you are willing to learn more with growth."</p><p><strong>Donaray, 31</strong> – "I look for the message a woman carries in the world. That's important to me because that same message is what's going to be passed down to my child. I look for a woman that would be a good teacher for my children."</p><p><strong>Anonymous, 29</strong> – "I like a woman that can control the room. She can walk in and it's all eyes on her. She brings a confidence and humble energy with her. That's an attribute I pay attention to."</p><p><strong>Anonymous, 30</strong> – "I like a woman that listens to me to truly understand me versus coming up with her own assumptions of who I am. That is super attractive."</p><p><strong>Chuks, 29</strong> – "Given that relationships are huge investments, I carefully study who to invest with; if I don't see myself <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/this-couple-knew-in-a-year-they-had-found-the-wright-one/" data-linked-post="2624695855" target="_blank">building a future</a> with a lady, I don't bother wasting her time and mine playing games." <br></p><p><strong>Steven, 29 </strong>– "I like a faith-driven and independent woman. A woman who doesn't need me to do everything for her. A woman that can handle her own is super sexy to me."</p><p><strong>Jeremy, 26</strong> – "I look at a woman's moral compass. Finding someone with a similar moral compass as mine, it tells you so much about their character."</p><p><strong>Cory, 32</strong> – "I'm not a guy that asks for a whole lot. As long as a woman is confident in who she is and she has goals for herself, then I'm with it."</p><p><strong>Hasani, 28</strong> – "For me, the most important thing is being present. My <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/whats-your-signs-love-language-a-how-to-guide-to-gain-the-key-to-their-heart/" data-linked-post="2632933769" target="_blank">love language</a> is quality time, so being there and being considerate about what I go through and giving me what I need is super big."</p><p><strong>Rashaun, 27</strong> – "I honestly don't know. I have been dating with intent, but that one specific thing that gives me that feeling, I haven't come across that yet. What I am usually attracted to is a woman who is hospitable and who is open-minded."</p><p><strong>DeAndre, 29</strong> – "The same thing I am looking for in a wife. Someone I can build and grow with. Someone that can be a partner and keep our goals alive, whether I'm here on this earth or not." </p><p><span></span><strong>Mike, 32</strong> – "Definitely a woman that is driven to work towards something. I also like to see a woman that has a strong sense of community. I'm a social person, so I need someone who also appreciates building something much bigger than yourself."</p>
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<p><em>Featured image by Shutterstock</em><br/></p>From Your Site Articles
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<p>I don't know who needs to hear this, but <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/cant-fall-in-love-with-potential/" target="_blank">falling for potential</a> will have you out here on your ass. </p><p>Almost never counts and according to xoMan <a href="https://www.instagram.com/christiankeyes/" target="_blank">Christian Keyes</a>, dating without a purpose is the key to staying single. In a recent interview with Dana Blair for <em>xoMan Live</em>, Christian broke down the <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/are-you-guilty-of-making-these-dating-mistakes/" target="_blank">biggest dating mistake</a> we all make: falling in love with potential versus reality. He explained: </p>
Christian Keyes Doesn't Date For Potential + Says Kissing Baby Hairs Is A Form Of Intimacy
<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5c4226744c0e14d45c218cd1e5abc959"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ig_x1dc_0g4?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><h5>"I think that's a bad idea because, you just said it, you are falling in love with your version of who that person is. If that's not who they are, then you're gonna change the things about them that you fell for in the first place. When you date with a purpose, you date on purpose. You don't just date to date. If I'm going to give you my time… I gotta see the possibility for it to be something epic because I feel like I deserve something epic."</h5><p>During his interview with Dana, Christian admitted to having a few <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/mistakes-women-make-in-relationships/" target="_blank">relationship faux pas</a> of his own in the past. When asked what his partners would say his biggest flaws were in a relationship, he had this to say: </p><blockquote>"They'd say maybe making them a priority. When I was younger, it was more about 'beat it up culture.' Now that I'm older and more grown and more seasoned, I think you learn to take your time and experience and enjoy each other and spend time enjoying each other. The progress report would be more attentive. More gentleman than savage. Occasional savagery." </blockquote>
<p>Although Christian's savage season was more than cringeworthy, he now understands that <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/the-things-that-make-up-a-truly-intimate-relationship/" target="_blank">intimacy</a> extends way beyond sex: </p><h5>"The touches, the foot rubs, the smells, the collarbone kisses, the ear nibbles, when she's in the kitchen making something and you walk past… The shoulder bites...she on the phone on a conference call just lean in, bite her shoulder a little bit and just keep it moving. I think all the things that create that magic and that real good, feel good feeling, all that butterfly stuff. I think that's all intimacy. I think laying there after making love is intimacy. Kissing on her baby hairs and rubbing on that booty." </h5><p>Despite his missteps in past relationships, Christian says that now that he's taken the time to define his own needs in a relationship, he'll know exactly when he's <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/you-wont-have-to-question-it-8-signs-that-he-is-the-one/" target="_blank">found the one</a>—but that doesn't mean she has to be perfect. He continued:</p>
<blockquote>"To be honest, I think we know when we're in a situation that's peaceful and organic, but powerful. You crave that person's presence all the time. They can be next to you and you don't get tired of them. You wanna do random acts of service and super nice shit like, aye babe how was your day?"</blockquote>
<h5>"The shit that some people might think is corny, that's the stuff that holds relationships together. I need those moments and I think that's how I know when I'm in the right relationship. Is it gonna be perfect? No. Am I gonna be perfect? No. Is she? No. Could she be perfect for me? Possibly."</h5>
<h4>To watch <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_x1dc_0g4" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Christian's full interview, click here</a>!</h4>
<p><em style='background-color: initial; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(90, 88, 88);'>Featured image by Instagram/@christiankeyes.</em><br/></p>
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Beauty & Fashion
Melissa Butler Sparks Innovation & Beauty Ingenuity With New Complexion-Based Launch
17h
<p><a href="https://www.xonecole.com/how-the-lip-bar-founder-went-from-shark-tank-rejection-to-a-400000-brand/" target="_blank">Melissa Butler</a> is a makeup pioneer. In 2012, when her beauty brand, <a href="https://thelipbar.com/" target="_blank">The Lip Bar</a>, was first launched, it was rare to find lip products bold enough to represent daring makeup enthusiasts, yet subtle enough to complement the range of skin tones for Black and brown customers. For <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/the-lip-bar-fresh-glow-grow/" target="_blank">The Lip Bar</a>, the mission was clear: challenge the status quo within the industry and increase visibility for Black women to be seen and understood as their own standard of beauty.</p><p>When she first launched her widely popular lipstick line, Melissa was building her plane in the sky at a time where most of the conversations around <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/i-wrote-an-open-letter-to-the-ceo-of-my-fortune-100-company-on-diversity/" target="_blank">diversity and inclusion</a> within the beauty industry were still just faint chatter. In 2015, Melissa was coming off of the public "redirection" of her, now viral, <em>Shark Tank</em> appearance. What some have deemed as a moment of rejection, ultimately proved to be a lesson in preparation for life's turning points, "When we had all the love and excitement from <em>Shark Tank</em>, I didn't know what to do with it. We didn't have the proper email flows, we weren't running any ads. I didn't know how to monetize it."</p>
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQzMzY1MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDMwMzgwOH0.OOEur1HpS_TJHe2xoPH_azQddkTakkBdiG_DBuJGKJQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="87b8b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1828e163165f2498be9dd6bc4e0638a6" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
(photo: The Lip Bar)
<h5>"When we had all the love and excitement from <em>Shark Tank</em>, I didn't know what to do with it. We didn't have the proper email flows, we weren't running any ads. I didn't know how to monetize it." </h5><p>Although <em>Shark Tank</em> served as an opportunity to generate awareness for the brand, it's not what Melissa attributes to The Lip Bar's initial growth. While on the show, she experienced harsh criticism from the panel of investors who weren't keen to the vision of her brand. In just five years since the episode aired, the foresight of The Lip Bar's collection of vibrant lipstick colors has proven to be a classic example of innovation before its time. But everything comes back around, and in true full-circle fashion, the brand was able to remain nimble while challenging trends and setting new markers for beauty ingenuity.</p><p>Now, Melissa continues to revolutionize the beauty world with the newest addition to her expanding "Fast Face" product line, the <a href="https://thelipbar.com/collections/caffeine-concealer" target="_blank">Quick Conceal, Caffeine Concealer</a>. In a world where many brands are exploring the diversification of their complexion products with 20-50 shade rollouts, this 6-shade collection of brightening concealers challenges the notion of whether <em>more</em> is actually beneficial for the customer.</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQzMTk4My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDUzMDYwMX0.-5nKp538PRJR6vrg8PAsQkJjg7c5N52WJHzGWxYD5aU/img.jpg?width=980" id="af827" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="60a2dfce5bc2b60c020a34433d24a733" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
(photo: The Lip Bar)
<p>"Everyone is probably going to think we're crazy for launching 6 concealers," Melissa jokingly shares about The Lip Bar's push to simplify the color-matching process for its customers. "The reality is that a lot of brands are launching 20+ shades of concealer but we've learned that it becomes more intimidating for the customer." At its core, The Lip Bar is all about streamlining the makeup process and eliminating the guesswork. Melissa's approach to complexion is all about understanding what universally works for each complexion family so her customers can get their desired look with no expertise needed. </p><p>Now more than ever, the attention has been brought to what brands are actually doing to create lasting change for their underrepresented customers. "I'm understanding that in time, things change, the customer's needs change. My job as the leader of the organization is to make sure that I'm always serving the customer." As universal beauty standards advance to be challenged and reimagined, Melissa continues to lead by making space for Black women in the beauty space to be seen as their whole and authentically beautiful selves.</p><h5>"I'm understanding that in time, things change, the customer's needs change. My job as the leader of the organization is to make sure that I'm always serving the customer." </h5>The inspiration within the formulation.
<p>When she began formulating ingredients for The Lip Bar's newest and highly-requested concealer, Melissa stayed true to the brand's vegan and cruelty-free methodology by infusing avocado and macadamia oils for hydration and caffeine to awaken the under-eye area. "People <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/boost-energy-without-caffeine/" target="_blank">take caffeine</a> in the morning as religion because that's going to be the one thing that gets them through the day. This concealer is going to awaken your morning and beauty routine because of the caffeine and its brightening effects."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQzMzY4OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MzQ2MjMzNn0.S_eqnQ0YRoog9WEla_eX2WXRPTciYFAXIv-HRgoL93Q/img.jpg?width=980" id="533fa" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="dbfb5cd9103d27e144ef6c5359c5e748" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
(photo: The Lip Bar)
<p>As an on-the-go entrepreneur, Melissa understands the importance of creating products that make life easier for her customers. The Lip Bar's "Fast Face" philosophy and complexion-based shopping has informed their launches, making the Caffeine Concealer the perfect addition to amp up your morning routines. "It's close to your complexion to provide coverage for whatever blemishes you might have and blends into the skin for a buildable, sheer to medium coverage. "</p>On what it’s like being a Black business owner in the age of collective uprising.
<p>June was a busy month for The Lip Bar. In fact, according to Melissa, "It was one of the best months for us in The Lip Bar's history." However, the hypervisibility that The Lip Bar and that many other Black-owned brands launched a wider conversation around why <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/buy-black-list-black-owned-businesses/" target="_blank">"Buying Black"</a> is less of a momentary trend and more of a long-term fight for economic liberation. "I don't want charity dollars. I want life-long customers."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQzMzcxNS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwODY2OTYxNn0.s_kSZGUezI8YfdiS7NHVWU2DPcFrtlii5SI4EMCgtWU/img.jpg?width=980" id="1b1e1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c6fd5507e5f60945067387b9330c9179" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
(photo: The Lip Bar)
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQzMzcxOS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDU0ODAxN30.XjG8EcqMdiKhC34Hj2Y9SI11YA6mLfcMCbi9ILqQ_ds/img.jpg?width=980" id="9fde2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="73a5f66a7944c90e2e091f69c0acdce8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
(photo: The Lip Bar)
<h5>"I don't want charity dollars. I want life-long customers."</h5><p>In the age of social media, our collective attention span is constantly being pulled in different directions, so much that it has become increasingly important to differentiate trends from long-lasting movements. After witnessing the hypervisibility of Black-owned brands peak during the month of June, Melissa saw the need for a space where Black-owned businesses could be easily accessed in order to drive <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/woke-womans-guide-building-generational-wealth/" target="_self">economic empowerment</a> within the Black community. This motivated Melissa to co-found <a href="https://www.theblkpact.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The BLK Pact</a>, a dictionary of Black-owned businesses for people to pledge their allegiance to, reducing the economic deficiency and growing the economic empowerment within the Black community.</p>
<p>This initiative informs individuals on not just how to support Black-owned businesses, but what's at stake if they don't. "There's some alarming statistics out there, one of which says <a href="https://www.blackenterprise.com/african-american-wealth-zero-2053/" target="_blank">by 2053, the median household wealth could reach zero</a> for Black households. So I know how important it is to make sure that we're focusing on supporting Black-owned businesses, but more importantly, it can't be a trend."</p><p>Conversations around diversity and inclusion are being reshaped to go beyond just making products to meet a quota. The goal is for the support of <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/black-owned-business-brands-wellness/" target="_blank">Black-owned businesses</a> to be woven into the fabric of our community and to build awareness through information sharing. "I want to make sure we're going in with intention and longevity in mind. That has been the most helpful and has inspired people to continue on that journey."</p><h4>To purchase your own Quick Conceal, Caffeine Concealer, <a href="https://thelipbar.com/collections/caffeine-concealer" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">click here</a>. And for more of Melissa, follow her on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melissarbutler/?hl=en" target="_blank">@melissarbutler</a>.</h4>
<p><em style="background-color: initial;">Featured image courtesy of The Lip Bar.</em><br/></p>From Your Site Articles
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Money Talks
The 34-Year-Old Social Media Influencer Who Embraces Her Sexuality While Saving Smart
19h
<p><em><a href="https://www.xonecole.com/money-talks/" target="_self">Money Talks</a> is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.</em></p><p>Though social media only sees a sexy influencer when you come across her Instagram page, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tere_eyes/?hl=es" target="_blank"><u>Tere Tatiana</u></a> is the definition of beauty and brains, and proof that being sexy and smart can coexist in today's digital world. Born Tereion Tatiana Henry, the self-proclaimed "cornbread-fed Georgia peach" graduated summa cum laude from Claflin University with a degree in Public Relations. In 2009, admittedly thrusted herself into the balancing act of being a single mother and preparing for deployment to Afghanistan as a government contractor.</p><p>Her four businesses––Labeled Blu Collections, Labeled Blu Realty, Labeled Blu Transportation, Southern Hospitality Adult Daycare Facility––are a product of her ambition and determination to fulfill her purpose to break the stigma against women in today's society. Though she has not personally experienced it, she recognizes the struggles of <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/brittany-hennessy-influencer-build-your-brand/" target="_self">social media influencers</a> who embrace their sexuality while being respected as businesswomen and entrepreneurs. Tere told xoNecole that the only negative experience she encounters is upon first impression when people believe her brand is shallow and solely based upon the glitz and glam of the influencer lifestyle. "Once they get to know me or see the informative business information I share with my followers, they message me apologizing for misjudging me and some even want me to mentor them. It's always gratifying when I can change a person's perspective of attractive women in business," she shared.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU4OTA0OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjMzMjE2MX0.UEDz-wvKZwbrGyLN3-GuLYlpD-da0WUAOM6bLZzcHNY/img.jpg?width=980" id="13a2e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="3e4acf7c587f84e61d53b11d2ebaf648" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Courtesy of Tere Tatiana</small></p><h5>"I feel society can do more by not shaming women for being human. Being sexy or having sex period shouldn't even be a topic of discussion when involving business. There are so many women who are smart, ambitious, tenacious, and driven, but just so happen to be sexy. Society should celebrate that."</h5><p>"To me, it's very important for women to capitalize on their own intellectual, their own education, and experience, their own swag. It also gives her a sense of ownership and accomplishment by seeing her baby through," she said referring to a woman's business, brand, or project.<br/></p><h4>In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 34-year-old serial entrepreneur and social media influencer about turning your influence into wealth, increasing your income during the COVID-19 pandemic and her journey to financial stability as a smart, sexy entrepreneur.</h4>
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
<p>"With my current budget, I have a set $2,000 <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/savings-challenges-to-try/" target="_blank">monthly savings</a> requirement for myself. It's been working pretty good so far. It's in a high-yield savings account."</p>On her definitions of wealth and success:
<p>"To me, wealth refers to a person's monetary value perceived by others, while having success is how a person perceives themselves. Having self-fulfillment that doesn't necessarily relate to finance."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU4OTIxOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MTc2ODEyN30.rE6XrPUcPpgkVX5xhFRMJ_s2uoWDJZPHOQoRHb2P5f4/img.jpg?width=980" id="b6935" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="772ded29d36fd1c569027593b6add2dd" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
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On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
<p>"The lowest I've ever felt was when my ex-husband, who is an officer in the military, and I didn't have $13 between the two of us to get our daughter a can of milk in 2009. Yes, we both came from very supportive families but it was the principle for me. It really triggered my mentality towards being <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/better-money-management-tips/" target="_blank">financially secure</a>. In my mind, it pushed me into leaving my daughter at four-months-old to go to Afghanistan to make fast money. I vowed I'd never have that feeling again. And thank God, I haven't.</p><p>"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."</p>On her biggest splurge to date:
<p>"My biggest splurge would be my 2020 Maserati truck. It has always been my dream car and I felt as though I've worked hard enough for long enough to treat myself to something nice."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU4OTIxOS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MDE0NTM2MH0.FB95tRAf46Kef9nyZsxjdI9Hfwt6sP6CzZgJeg5l5uc/img.jpg?width=980" id="5c117" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0f845bbf5fdeb5bc9689500a8153572e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
<h5>"I channeled that negative feeling of not being able to provide for my child into building a legacy I can one day be able to pass along to her. I have pursued and secured several very lucrative streams of income, that way I'd have a better chance of maintaining financially if anything were to ever happen economically."</h5><div class="ad-tag">
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On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
<p>"I am a woman (laughs) so I would consider myself a spender by nature. I had to train myself to become <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/success-self-discipline/" target="_blank">more disciplined</a>, which was extremely hard. Honestly, I could probably do better."</p>On the importance of investing:
<p>"It's very necessary to invest. My motto in business and life in general: Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/passive-income-earning-potential/" target="_blank">residual income</a>. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand. I also invest in stock, I purchased some Facebook stock when they first went public, as well as Bitcoin."</p><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU4OTIxNS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODk1MzgwOX0.Z6yx8idpAEpDu9BUMyOQxzUpSuGXlVKVumf22f2TRKQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="58e1b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c0507ceed5619ba6ccbcb21f5a788e56" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
<h5>"Everything is a flow. Nothing can come in if nothing comes out! You have to sow seeds. If for nothing else, making residual income. A lot of millionaires become millionaires or multi-millionaires from making residual income. I've invested hundreds of thousands in different business ventures, as well as into myself and my brand."</h5><div class="ad-tag">
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On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
<p>"I would like to become even more financially literate in moving and <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/i-quit-my-job-travel-the-world/" target="_blank">saving money</a>. At this point in my life, it's hard for me to fathom retirement. I feel as though I'm one of those people who always have to have their hands into something."</p>On her budgeting must-haves:
<p>"My budget must-haves would be cosmetics (hair, makeup, nails), tuitions, paying myself first, and food! (laughs) I'm definitely a foodie."</p>On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
<p>"My streams of revenue are from my trucking, real estate, and adult daycare facility. I also still make over six figures yearly with my job as a government contractor. I'm also in the works of developing a virtual trucking course for those looking to get into the trucking industry.</p><p>"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that <a href="https://dividendrealestate.com/7incomestreams/" target="_blank">most millionaires have at least seven streams of income</a>."</p><div class="ad-tag">
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<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzU4OTIxNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMjAwNzMyOX0.tUKQaH7mHhHUG2QsPpQW8cUBW2x3zdWAXNbopESPkTo/img.jpg?width=980" id="a5f31" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="35554a3f219787dfd24b1e4085045fef" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
Courtesy of Tere Tatiana
<h5>"Having multiple streams of income is very necessary! In today's unstable economy, entrepreneurs must remain fluid in order to survive. Plus, it's common knowledge that most millionaires have at least seven streams of income."</h5>On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
<p>"I had a <em>really</em> big problem with having the attitude of 'I'll make it right back!'. I'm so accustomed to making and being around fast money. Even as a child, my mother was a popular hairdresser from my hometown, so I've seen fast money my entire life. I [overcame it when] I saw [that] I got more accomplished. I actually began to 'see' my money and how it was working for me. I became more financially stable. I was even able to show others how to adopt the same <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/how-to-break-free-from-a-broke-mindset-attract-abundance/" data-linked-post="2583027172" target="_blank">mindset</a>."</p>On her money mantra:
<p>"I actually have two: 1) 'I am unapologetic about my desire to live a rich life', and 2) 'Money flows to me with ease and grace'."</p><div class="ad-tag">
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On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
<p>"(Laughs) Looking back at it, I wouldn't necessarily consider it desperate, although I felt like it was at the time, but I was an exotic dancer in college. I wasn't desperate but I've definitely always had money on my mind. I've always wanted to be independent. My intentions were definitely in a good place, just misguided."</p>On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
<p>"I would have to say going into my adult daycare business without a direct plan. It started as a group home, then evolved into a residential, then finally an adult daycare over the course of four years. Although this is a very lucrative industry, the investment and overhead was a bit of a blow to my financial plan––I would do more research next time."</p>On her budget breakdown:
<p><strong>How much do you spend on rent?</strong> $2,500</p><p><strong>Eating out/ordering in? </strong>$1,000</p><p><strong>Gas/car note</strong>? $2,000</p><p><strong>Personal expenses? </strong>$6,000</p><h4>For more Tere, follow her on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/teawithtere/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram.</a></h4><div class="ad-tag">
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<p><em>Featured image courtesy of Tere Tatiana.</em><br/></p>
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Beauty & Fashion
I Switched My Beauty Routine To Include This Black-Owned Skincare Line & I Stan
19h
<p>Summer has officially ended however we don't have to let go of that natural sun-kissed glow, thanks in part to the natural benefits of <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/10-places-you-can-travel-to-get-warm-this-winter/" target="_blank">warm weather</a>. As we transition into fall, there are still ways of achieving radiant <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/best-affordable-moisturizers/" target="_blank">hydrated skin</a> during the dull cold weather months. About a year ago, I discovered the perfect combination to my everyday beauty routine, eliminating excessively <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/dermatologist-approved-skincare-tips/" target="_blank">oily skin</a> transitioning into a smooth, satin-like <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/mua-glow-up-during-quarantine/" target="_blank">glowy complexion</a> I had no idea was achievable using four easy-to-use products.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMDY5NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjM3NTU0Nn0.ppbLTi37R8VclfvwS9OfsY32MDWOgRqTjqchVDlkcjk/img.jpg?width=980" id="9ada5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="97d336cc1ff8e1fae8fa89570767af9a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole</small></p><p>While celebrities like <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/alicia-keys-wellness-beauty-secrets-vogue/" target="_blank">Alicia Keys</a> make effortless skin look easy, Dorion Renaud of <a href="https://www.buttahskin.com/" target="_blank">Buttah Skincare</a> makes it possible. Dedicated to enriching skincare for all multicultural tones along with <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/cruelty-free-false-lashes-guide/?share_id=4973095" target="_blank">cruelty-free products</a> created using organic ingredients, you'll love Buttah for its mission to create an authentic glow from the inside out. I tried Buttah's popular transformation kit complete with a facial cleanser, Vitamin C serum, and cocoa shea butter, easily providing glowing smooth-as-butter skin instantly. <br/></p><h4></h4><h4>For an ultra shine and buttery finish, this kit is for all those needing extra moisture for an extended summer glow.</h4>
Step 1: Cleanser
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMDY4NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Nzg5MTQ1NX0.dXgBKZjNPHat3m7w3U-Q7QzKSnz-XvNturZ5nS-Wa2o/img.jpg?width=980" id="b0a18" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e84d61131afbc277d3fc9a6931c0c369" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
<p>The first step to buttery smooth skin is the ultra-lightweight and clear facial cleanser that gently removes impurities while adding <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/6-different-places-to-apply-essential-oils-and-why/" data-linked-post="2645644275" target="_blank">essential oils</a> as well as prepping your face for the additional products to achieve your skin's ultimate glow. Whether challenged with dry, oily, or <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/all-natural-ways-flawless-skin/" target="_blank">combination skin</a>, this cleanser promises effective results for all with daily and consistent use. After squeezing a quarter-sized amount of product on my fingertips, I felt it best to rub together for a nice foaming effect before applying. </p>Step 2: Rose Water Toner
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMDY5NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjE2NTUyNX0.Q0ZfOHMQWrgQj1IW6os7yQOIVZTueG3dJKU7iBWnd-E/img.jpg?width=980" id="ce356" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="13257e40546d412b671040ae11ef0cf3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
<p>Not included in this kit but a great option for extra cleansing is the addition of a facial toner to this routine. Not an absolute must however, I love using this product after washing my face because it picks up stubborn makeup and excess dirt missed by my <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/best-all-in-one-cleanser-micellar-water/" target="_blank">facial cleanser</a>. </p><div class="ad-tag">
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Step 3: Vitamin C Serum
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMDY4NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NjQ2MTQ1Nn0.H8SgbCLqAXNScP5GlVxxjVVM_R9dyT9fvp6kA8lzNBU/img.jpg?width=980" id="0eb78" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="81b3339bec364e81039ac014cf5cb8fa" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
<p><a href="https://www.xonecole.com/vitamin-c-serum-winter-skincare/" data-linked-post="2641310247" target="_blank">Vitamin C serum</a> is the key ingredient to achieving smooth and radiant skin, period. The best addition to my everyday routine, this particular serum has done wonders for my skin after discovering the nutrient two years ago. </p><p>Buttah offers a <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/best-face-serums-2019/" target="_blank">super lightweight serum</a> that may be perfect for those who prefer products that aren't made with a thick consistency. Although I wish this particular Vitamin C Serum was a bit thicker in texture, it is a thin layer of added nutrients that balances out the CocoShea Revitalizing Cream soon to follow. Apply 4-5 drops to freshly cleansed and dry skin to then be followed up with the shea butter as the final touch to an enriching skincare experience. </p>Step 4: CocoShea Revitalizing Cream/Facial Moisturizer
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzgwMDY4Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMjU0MjU2MH0.WiecZmJBXgNFRbgNjjzHCDhtYFcv9uSoNAX6IJbRYw0/img.jpg?width=980" id="6cd32" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="19c7a76674ec7cd474fca5e0dec12479" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole
<p>With an amazing scent and silky-soft texture, the key ingredient within this transformation kit is the facial shea butter. As the initial products applied are extremely lightweight, this deeply <a href="https://www.xonecole.com/best-affordable-moisturizers/" target="_blank">moisturizing cream</a> is the essential item needed for a complete Buttah transformation. I not only used the shea butter on my face but also my arms and neck for a glowy finish. As the CocoShea Revitalizing Cream has an immensely thick texture, I suggest using portions of this product based on your desired glow. </p><div class="ad-tag">
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<p class=""><em>Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed for xoNecole.</em></p><h4><a href="https://members.xonecole.com/" target="_blank">Join our xoTribe</a>, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up. </h4>
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