This Tech Marketer Believes Balance Is About Not Putting All Your Eggs In One Basket
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Myriha Burce is no stranger to working hard towards getting the things she wants. As a black woman, born and raised on the southside of Chicago, she understood the importance of the grind with big dreams to make it to the top. Since college, Myriha has been navigating through the marketing/advertising industry. But, she later realized that she needed more beyond her 9-5 to fill her cup. Currently, she is the Head of Product Marketing for a tech start-up, but she wanted to do more for the community.
With that, Myriha tapped into her creative side and launched her very own podcast called "Black Women Talk Work". "With my podcast, the impact is to amplify these stories of black women and their professional experiences. Earlier in my career, I feel there weren't a lot of conversations around the experiences black women tend to face at work. So with my podcast, I want us women to express that, the good and the bad." she told xoNecole.
For Myriha, in order to live a more satisfying life, it helps to tap into other outlets outside of work. Your job helps pay the bills, but is it really your passion? Do you have more than one passion and if so, how are you making time for it? These are the important questions Myriha asks herself while navigating as a working black woman. Myriha values not sticking to one title to find her balance. She believes it is important to make room for other areas to get to that level of peace and joy, we all aspire to reach.
Courtesy of Myriha Burce
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole had the chance to speak with multi-hyphenate Myriha Burce about tapping into her creative side, her love for making an impact for black women, and the importance of self-care.
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Myriha Burce: I just left a job at an advertising agency and I had a really awful experience working there. When trying to explain my experience to HR, I remember hitting a wall and them telling me, "This is what it is." This wasn't my first experience, so I was really just fed up. Starting out in my career, I was all about the grind. I was so eager to get everything right. But after feeling fed up, I started to understand that this idea of complete fulfillment from work is not healthy. I was looking at work as a way to bring impact, to completely love the work, to love the people I work with, and just love everything. I feel like that is not completely realistic. I realized it's important to fill other areas of your life with things that you love, so you're not putting all your eggs in the work basket.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
So I have my 9 to 5. But let's be honest, a job doesn't really go from 9 to 5 (laughs). Sometimes, it goes from 8 to 7. I am fortunate to be working from home, so I can take breaks in between. After work, I work on my podcast and record a couple of episodes.
"Starting out in my career, I was all about the grind. I was so eager to get everything right. But after feeling fed up, I started to understand that this idea of complete fulfillment from work is not healthy."
What are your mornings like?
I like slow mornings. I know other people can get up and work out and that is not me (laughs). I like to ease myself into my day with a cup of coffee or tea and a quick flow of yoga. Since quarantine, I have also made it a habit to get fully dressed every day. I literally get dressed as if I'm leaving the house. I even do my hair, makeup, [the works]! For me, when I feel good about how I look on the outside, I feel I perform better at work.
How do you wind down at night?
I have a space in my apartment where I do not do any work. When I sit in my space, I grab a glass of wine and read. I love mystery novels. I will admit I try to take it easy with the self-care books. Don't get me wrong, I think they are great and a lot of them are amazing. But with all the heaviness in the world, I have been trying to get back into reading for fun. The ability of a book to take you somewhere else and to experience something new is a necessary escape.
When you have a busy week, what's the most hectic part of it?
I think staying inspired and staying creative can be a little hectic. It can be very easy to feel drained with everything going on, including working a 9 to 5. Keeping your energy up has become harder during this past year.
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
In the evenings, when I'm not working late, I generally start to cook. The last couple of years, I've started to really enjoy cooking for myself. For women, a lot of times, we are told this narrative that you have to be able to cook for your family or husband. Which is great, but I think there is something really beautiful about learning to cook for yourself as a way to take care of yourself. Being intentional about cooking a meal for yourself can be a form of self-care.
Another type of self-care that I do is allowing myself to process my feelings more. I allow myself to literally sit with my feelings. We use some of the more popular types of self-care and it can possibly become a crutch instead of actually dealing with what's wrong. Sometimes it's easy to take a bubble bath and zone out. But for me, I think sitting with my feelings and not finding an immediate outlet has been a great tool to understand myself better.
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
This woman said to me once, "The world is not going to stop or crumble, if that project does not go perfectly." As women, when we are focusing on our career, we want to give it our all. The fact of the matter is, nothing is permanent and nothing is guaranteed. It's about trying not to tie up your self-worth in what you are producing in your job. I mean I still have my moments where I fall back into I need to do this and I need to do that. But we must ask ourselves, if this job goes away, will I still feel like myself? Ask yourself, "What else have you done to fill the other areas of your life, if this job is gone tomorrow?"
"Sometimes it's easy to take a bubble bath and zone out. But for me, I think sitting with my feelings and not finding an immediate outlet has been a great tool to understand myself better."
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Your 20's are very interesting with friendships. They start to ebb and flow and it's such a weird time. I try to approach friendships by letting them navigate organically. When people come into your life and they are adding value, allow them to do that. But if life sends them away, allow them to leave. Sometimes we feel like we have to control our friends and hold them accountable. But everyone is struggling, so it's hard to put that pressure on people. Being able to give people grace and not forcing expectations is the lens I have taken.
Exercise?
I try to work out at home two to three times a week. I recently invested in a personal trainer and it has been fantastic. I was a cheerleader in college [and] in college, you work out as a team. So it has been a little hard getting into the rhythm of working out alone. But I took a leap and it has been great focusing on my health and wellness in all its capacities.
Honestly, what does success and happiness mean to you?
Success for me is impact. I am still seeing what that looks like. But bringing something to the community, especially the black community, is so important right now. I have always gravitated towards projects where there is an opportunity for some sort of positive impact. Looking back on my life when I'm older, I want to be able to say I made an impact in such a way for my community. Now, with happiness, happiness to me is my freedom. I feel like the happiest I will be is when I am able to completely indulge in all of my interests. I do think I am constantly getting closer and closer to that too. Not feeling confined to one lane, or title, or space is what happiness feels like for me.
For more of Myriha Burce, follow her on Instagram here.
Featured image courtesy of Myriha Burce
'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
Between the election cycle, trauma, workplace environment, and expectations placed upon us by society, Black women are existing in a world where our lived experiences result in higher rates of chronic stress. In tandem with that reality, are Black women leading the charge in the wellness industry for a world that centers our health and wellness needs, but who cares for those leaders and supports them?
Oftentimes, they do the work themselves. xoNecole talked with several wellness founders who own adaptogenic beauty brands, intergenerational wellness collectives, nonprofit organizations, and wellness apps. Here's what they shared about how they center themselves when emotions are high and they feel dysregulated.
Remind Myself I Deserve A Calm Nervous System
"A year ago, I made a decision that I refused to be in a constant state of anxiety while running a wellness company. You're probably thinking that should be a given, right? But it's so easy to become overwhelmed by your business's daily responsibilities and overall growth goals and ultimately put your needs on the back burner. What regulates me and brings me back to myself are the daily habits that gave me the life and community I have now—starting my day with prayer and exercise, swimming weekly, baths by candlelight, listening to neo-soul and jazz to end my day.
"But most importantly, I've learned to remind myself that when I feel overwhelmed, I deserve a calm nervous system. I don't have to let every change, every decision, every obstacle, every uncomfortable conversation rattle me. I ground myself in that and remind myself daily that being dysregulated doesn't serve me."
Music, Scents, & Breathwork
"As a founder, it's easy to 'push through' and ignore your true emotional state because you're on a mission. But my true purpose is to live well and show others that we all deserve to live well. Music, scent, and breathwork are my most frequently used tools for emotional regulation. Music can get me through anything. Scents—whether they be perfume, diffused oils, or candles—ground me. Breathwork saves me from spiraling. My practices are extremely simple, but they work for me."
Time to Myself
"As a wellness founder, I regulate myself emotionally on a daily basis by putting on my favorite record, taking a hot shower, watching my favorite show, and eating foods that comfort me. It honestly depends on the day, but generally, it's whatever will bring me joy for a moment and allow me to zone out. I really need that time to myself—to just be—in order to pour back into my community."
"By challenging myself to view my negative anxious thoughts with self-compassion and grace, I create space to validate the way I feel but reframe the thought to be more balanced and supportive. Example: 'I can't believe I dropped the ball on that' after being challenged and reframed turns into 'Baby girl, you are trying the best you - remember you only have only two hands.' Or, 'I failed' turns into 'Sis, you tried.'"
Moving My Body
"One way I emotionally regulate as a wellness founder is through movement. I spent about five years doing talk therapy, and I made a lot of breakthroughs, but now, in my 30s and this era in my life, I realize how much stagnant energy is really just a matter of me literally moving my body. So exercising, walking, and making sure I'm not sedentary has done wonders for me to ground myself daily. Right now, I'm really enjoying taking sculpt classes, low-impact cardio, and hot yoga. I always feel better after I move my body; it's therapeutic."
Practice What I Preach
"Managing daily stress and anxiety varies for me depending on my personal and professional seasons. My three go-to self-care strategies are reminding myself that rest is productive and actually resting, prioritizing my weekly tasks, and taking a few minutes for breathwork. It's important to me to practice what I encourage others in my community to do."
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Featured image by Rob Kim/Getty Images for Global Connections for Women Foundation or GC4W