If you read the title of this article and already, you're ready to punch your computer screen, I feel you. Try and bear with me, though. I'm hoping that, by the end of this, you'll see Mondays a little differently than (maybe) you currently do.
I must admit that while I was reading an article about why so many of us loathe the first work day of the week, a lot of the reasons made sense. Many of us don't use Sunday to prepare for the week, so we stay up late; this prevents us from getting enough rest which makes us irritable on Monday morning. Another thing that's irritating about Mondays is social media isn't usually as popping. This means that we can't even look forward to what's on Instagram or Black Twitter as much (ugh). Plus, if you're not exactly thrilled with your job and/or the people you work with, you can feel like you live in a hamster wheel—just going round and round your desk until the next Friday—which is hopefully a payday—rolls around again. Some things that suck about Mondays, we can't change. At the same time, there are things that we can do that will totally alter our perspective, no matter what is happening—or not happening—around us.
If for as long as you can remember, Mondays have been your least favorite day of the week, here's hoping that the following 10 suggestions can at least move it up into your Top Three. Ready?
1. Dress Up
A girlfriend of mine recently switched jobs. When I asked her what the dress code was at her new gig, she was moderately annoyed. "Girl, it's casual up in here. They've got on jeans and everything!" While a lot of us would find that to be an absolute dream, my friend is the kind of gal who likes to dress up to go to the grocery store. She says that it makes her feel regal, feminine and, with the right pair of pumps, pretty powerful too.
She's not weird to think that way.
According to some scientific research, while dressing down can sometimes lead to more productivity, dressing up can result in "higher abstract thinking". Plus, it's hard to be in a bad mood or not to feel uber confident when you know you're killin' the game on the style tip.
So, if you're someone who hates Mondays with a passion, psych yourself up by putting a little more effort into what you put on at the top of the week. You'll feel better. You'll probably perform better as a direct result too.
2. Go into Work Early
You don't even have to say it. I already know that some of y'all read this point and was like, "Shellie, what are you smokin'?" As if it's not hard enough to peel yourself out of bed, now I'm up here trying to get you to go in at least an hour earlier? Yep. I am. Here's why. By going into work early, there's a good chance that you can bypass a lot of your morning commute traffic. You can also get a heads up on your morning routine when it comes to checking phone calls and emails. If you never seem to be able to enjoy your breakfast, going to work early can probably make that easier for you. Without as many people in the office, you can get a few things done quicker, without any distractions. Not to mention the fact that walking in with your boss or even before them can earn you some pretty major cool points.
Hey, I didn't say that you should do it all of the time. I just said that Mondays are a good day to consider doing so because it can give you quite the leg up on having a productive rest of the week.
3. Post a New Quote on Your Computer or Desk
There's an author by the name of Shauna Niequist who once said, "It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about." Tell me that doesn't help you to put things into perspective. Another author by the name of T.F. Hodge once said, "To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles." Doesn't that encourage you to concentrate on your objectives more? One of my favorite quotes by Zora Neale Hurston is, "Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me." How can that not remind you to love yourself?
Words have power. We all know this. What I adore about quotes is they are concise messages that can get into our brains and inspire us. I'd be shocked if you didn't already have a couple of quotes hanging around your work space. But in order to switch things up and motivate you in a different way, why not use Monday as the day to post one that is new? It's a great way to gas you up to do the next point that I'm about to mention.
4. Set a New Short-Term Goal for the Week
Personally, I like short-term goals because they help me from getting discouraged while I'm in the process of getting some long-term goals accomplished. But in the article "The Power of Setting Short-Term Goals", the author brings up some other benefits that are related to short-term goal-setting. It minimizes procrastination. It helps to keep you focused. And, it can give you quite the self-esteem boost; that's because, once your short-term goal is completed, you will end up with a profound sense of achievement.
What are some examples of short-term goals? Making lunch all week instead of eating out. Completing a project outside of work that will take your personal ambitions to the next level in the new year. Having that much-needed conversation with a family member or friend. Figuring out what you want your updated style to be over the next couple of months. Downloading some apps that will make you more productive. Getting to bed 30 minutes earlier. Finishing that book that has been taking you forever to read. Finally implementing a nighttime routine for your hair. Putting a budget together. Setting hours for social media engagement. I think you get my drift.
They say you've got to crawl before you walk and walk before you run. If you make it a point, once a week, to set at least one short-term goal on Monday with a deadline of Friday, you'll be amazed by how much you'll be able to get done within a few months. You really will.
5. Find a New Podcast
Is this about to be a shameless plug? Eh. Maybe a little, but it doesn't make the point any less relevant. I've got a friend who is an absolute podcast junkie. She digs them because of all of the new things that she's able to learn. There are some other reasons why you should get into podcasts too. They're free. You can listen to them while you're doing other things. They significantly improve your listening skills. They can also help you to connect with people because most podcasters have websites and many podcasters are open to networking.
Another way to make Monday your favorite day of the week is to seek out a new podcast to add to your personal library. One that immediately comes to mind is ours. It's called xoNecole's Happy Hour Podcast and new episodes are uploaded on Wednesdays. If you're already ahead of the game and you're looking for a few more to add to your collection, a few articles that you might want to check out include "Top 25 Black Podcasts You Must Follow in 2019", "20 Must-Listen to Black Women Podcasts for 2019" and "Here Are 11 Black Female-Led Podcasts You Should Be Listening To".
Oh, and if you're someone who likes to watch podcasts that are filled with random insights on any and everything, check out Dam Internet, You Scary , Aba & Preach , The Grapevine or Righteous and Ratchet. A cool relationship podcast from Black men's perspective is The Roommates Podcast. A fave woman-related one is Shan Boody. A wonderful marriage and family-focused one is How Married Are You?!. Or, if you want a totally NSFW podcast (although you could put your headphones in and no one would know what you're up to), one that popped up in my YouTube feed a few months ago that had me like, "Wow. Y'all really said that?!" a few times—WHOREible Decisions. I could go on and on, but those are some that immediately come to mind. (If you've got some faves, feel free to leave them in the comments so we can check those out too.)
6. Treat Yourself to Lunch
Aight so, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person spends around $3,000 a year, simply by going out to eat. While you might think that you aren't spending anywhere close to that amount, if you're going out for lunch every day and you're spending around ten bucks each time, that's already $50 a week and $200 a month. Just think about the kind of vacation you could take or the debts you could pay off (not to mention how much healthier it would be) if you stayed away from drive-thru windows and decided to bring your lunch to work instead?
If you do decide to take this route, treat your dedication and financial responsibility by letting Mondays be your "cheat day". Since you know that the rest of the week, you'll be in the break room or at your desk, set aside $20 to not only eat out but to eat at a restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru window. Not only is this another way to turn Monday into a fave day, but since you'll be going in early on Mondays more often, it's a great way to get a change of scenery for an hour or so too.
7. Go to a Monday Happy Hour
After a productive day, you deserve to kick back and relax a bit. One way you can do that is by nixing the whole Wednesday or Friday happy hour plans; instead, hit up some of your friends and ask them to make at least one Monday a month y'all's happy hour tradition. If you need a little help figuring out which restaurants have a first day of the week happy hour, and also which ones offer the best deals, check out "22 Restaurants With Awesome Happy Hour Deals". (You're welcome.)
8. Do Something That Pampers You
A lot of us are wired to pamper ourselves towards the end of the week. I get why because it's basically like rewarding ourselves for getting to another Friday without losing our minds. But shouldn't you also reward yourself for heading into work after an absolutely fabulous—or even just rest-filled—weekend too? I totally agree. That's why I think you should consider scheduling your mani/pedi appointments on Mondays, that you plan out a totally luxurious bath on Mondays and/or that you stop by to pick up a wine that you've never tasted before on a Monday this month. Shoot, you and your significant other can even make Monday your nookie night.
Some of us find ourselves lagging all throughout the day because nothing is really motivating us to get our work done and get the heck up outta there. But if you know that a pamper—or great sex—date awaits, that will give you the extra "umph" that you need to finish everything in record time—so that you can get onto what makes Mondays super special in your world.
9. Watch a Favorite “Non-Monday” Show
A lot of us have a series that we've been meaning to catch-up on or a movie that we've been wanting to check out. If it seems like, no matter how hard you try, you are never able to carve out enough time, why not designate Monday as your binge day? Purposely set aside two hours in the evening to do nothing but sit on the couch with a favorite snack and to watch a film or a show that comes on a different day of the week. If you make this a standing appointment with yourself, you might be surprised how quickly Monday nights end up becoming your favorite night of the week too.
(By the way, Ambitions airs on Tuesday nights on OWN. If you keep missing it, make it your Monday show of the week.)
10. Toast Yourself
I'm a huge advocate of people toasting themselves as much as possible. Not to the point where they become a low-key functional alcoholic, but enough to remind themselves that they don't need a special occasion or monumental reason to take out a moment and remind themselves how absolutely bomb that they are.
The fact that you were able to get through yet another Monday and live to tell about it? That sounds like a good enough reason as any to toast yourself. Not just with any drink either. Why not come up with your own signature drink that you reserve for Mondays only? If you're worried that it could result in you having a hangover the next day, you best bet is to avoid drinks that contain congeners (that would basically be whiskey, cognac and tequila), that you drink lots of water following your one or two toasts, that you head to bed early and that you eat a healthy breakfast (in order to get your blood sugar levels back up) the following day.
If you do all of this, you should be able to have your cake and eat it too. Or, in the case, kick it on Monday and still be refreshed and ready for work on Tuesday. Happy Monday, y'all.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Life-Changing Habits To Start Your Week Off Right
No More Monday Blues: A Prayer For When You Need God's Strength To Carry You Through
Featured image by Nappy
- How I Made Monday's My Favorite Day of The Week - Cordially K ›
- 9 Tips to Make Monday Your Favorite Day of the Week | HuffPost Life ›
- How To Make Monday Your Favorite Day of the Week ›
- How to Make Sunday Your Favorite Day of the Week ›
- Ways To Make Monday Your Favorite Day Of The Week ›
- 5 ways to make Monday your new favourite day and begin the week ... ›
- How To Make Monday Your Favorite Day Of The Week - Career Girl ... ›
- Ways to Make Monday Your Favorite Day of the Week - YouTube ›
- 4 Ways to Make Monday Your Favorite Day of the Week - Thrive ... ›
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
Featured image by Shutterstock