Most would agree that this pandemic showed us who our friends are. But let's be empathetic and fair, this pandemic has caused us never-ending heartache, grief, and stress. And at the end of the day, we have to take care of ourselves first. As life happens, it's a struggle to balance family, work, personal issues, and friends; let alone carve out 15 minutes for ourselves. As we get older, it naturally becomes harder to maintain friendships near and far. We become so caught up in our everyday lives that we start to drift from the ones that mean the most. I'm hella guilty of this, now more than ever. But it's not intentional. Your girl is out here creating a whole new life. I'm the type of friend who shows up. I try to check-in most times, but most days I can't. And sometimes, I might beat myself up over it too.
I'm not in the business of transactional friendships, building deeper connections is what I do. I always want to return the same love, kindness, and energy that is given to me.
I moved out of my home state 10 years ago. I live 2,000 miles away from most of my lifelong friends. And over the years, my circle of friends has expanded. I have friends who live 20 minutes away or hours away. I also have friends in different states, countries, and continents. Catching up through social media used to be enough. Liking pictures or commenting on threads just doesn't do it for me anymore. Scrolling through pictures, posts, and videos is cool, but it doesn't tell you how someone is really doing. It only provides a glimpse into parts of their life they choose to share. I need more than just a glimpse. I need to know if my friend is OK. I'm also the type if I don't hear from one of my friends in a while – I will reach out. And when I touch down in their city, I come all the way through. I'll be the first to say, "Where you at?", "Where we going?", and "What we doing?" With advanced notice. If you ask my friends, they will tell you this too.
Here are a few practical ways I maintain my long-distance friendships and keep my friendships in good standing.
1.Hit Them Up
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Reach out. I mean, does it matter who reaches out first or not? Nope. Text, call, or FaceTime. Leave a voice note or video message. Slide in their DMs with a quick note. With so many different messaging apps and social media platforms, our only excuse is time. Friendships require time. Don't be that friend that only comes around for good moments or bad moments. Sometimes, that's exactly what it is though. Strive to be the friend that reaches out when it gets too silent. When your intuition is telling you something is off. Your efforts will be appreciated.
2.You’re Never Too Old To Be A Pen Pal
My greatest friendship grew over emails. We were once new friends and now we are great friends. We've maintained daily emails to each other for 10 years. When I moved to Florida we somehow decided to keep in touch via e-mail. We shared dating stories, relationship drama, and personal struggles. It helped our workday go by faster. There wasn't a minute out of our day where we were not emailing each other. If one of us didn't email that day, we both knew something was wrong. A text would be sent with, "Hey, are you at work?" So, write your friend that letter or email. I love receiving cards, letters, or care packages. And I'm sure your friends would too.
3.Group Activities For The Win
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A few childhood friends of mine and I decided to do a running challenge together. The three of us committed to running a mile a few times a week. With me on the east coast and them on the west coast. We used the Nike Running App to stay connected. While they dropped off after a few weeks, I continued with my runs. It was fun while it lasted. We kept each other motivated and celebrated our wins. Find an activity that you can do with your friends and watch how you grow together.
4.Remember The Important Dates
Stay connected. Not only do I calendar my friends' birthdays, but I remember scheduled graduations and wedding anniversaries too. I try to remember significant events in their lives. I can safely say I know the birthdates of all my friends' children. I'm forever auntie. And if I don't remember the exact date, I at least remember the month they were born. I'll usually call to say happy birthday to their child. If they're of age and have a phone, I might send a text hello or happy birthday. I have even texted my friend's 18-year-old son to hug his mother. Other times, I'll hit up her husband or sister to check-in. Yes, we're that close. All of us have been friends for over 15 years.
5.Schedule A Date
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This can be a virtual or an in-person date. With COVID, we still want to play it safe and protect our loved ones. Cook dinner together, play a game, watch a movie, or enjoy some cocktails over FaceTime, Houseparty, or Zoom. I try to connect with friends face-to-face when I can. Because of time differences, I am a few hours ahead of the west coast. I know one of my homegirls works from home, so, I might hit her with a video call around the time she wakes up. And no, she doesn't mind either. Hey, you gotta get it in where you can. Oh, and after multiple failed scheduled FaceTime dates with my homeboy a few days ago, he hit me up as I was walking out of the gym. I stayed in the parking lot and sat in my car for a whole hour just talking to him. We laughed. We smiled. We reminisced. I love a good car conversation whether it's in person or not. It's little gestures like this y'all.
6.Plan A Visit or A Friendcation
I know, I know. BUT COVID. Don't let this stop you from connecting with friends. You can still plan a visit or a vacation. You just have to be smart and safe about your planning. What better way is there to catch up with your homegirls and get some uninterrupted one-on-one time? Consider meeting up at local spots, like restaurants, nail salons, art museums, day spas, wineries, or beaches. Think of major cities and short road trips. Maybe this looks like a weekend sleepover filled with girl talk, secrets, wine, and comfort foods.
Whatever you decide to do – just know there is always a way to maintain long-distance friendships. There is no need to feel jealous or like you lost a friend. It just takes a little creativity, thoughtfulness, and effort.
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Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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