

Even though I’m nowhere close to being old, I’m not incredibly young anymore, either. What this boils down to is, over the span of time that I’ve been on this planet, I have definitely seen some things that make it pretty hard to totally catch me off guard — especially when it comes to Black women and what we are fully capable of in the beauty department. Oh, but when I tell you I had to do a few triple-checks on this post right here? Y’ALL.
Okay, did you peep the text? 60. Umm...60?! Y’ALL. I know we say that “Black don’t crack” ‘n all, however, this is taking things to an entirely different level. And even though I’ve been on-10 about my skin, even before this woman had me damn near mesmerized, I won’t lie — she further confirmed to me why it’s so important to be hypervigilant and super proactive when it comes to consistent and effective skincare. And as of this year, for me, that includes implementing at-home chemical peels.
If you’ve never considered getting a chemical peel before, let alone giving your own self one, stay tuned. I’m gonna touch on all of the things you’re (probably) curious about in order to put your mind at ease so that your skin can be at least half as amazing as this woman’s skin is (lawd!).
What Is a Chemical Peel?
Okay, so let’s start at the beginning. A chemical peel is a process that consists of applying certain acids to your face that will help to remove certain layers of your skin (depending on what kind of acids you use and what concentration you apply) in order to remove dead skin cells, seriously clear out your pores, get rid of hyperpigmentation (over time), soften the appearance of acne marks/scars, fine lines and wrinkles and give your skin a fresh, youthful and glowing look.
For the most part, chemical peels are broken down into three different types:
Light (lunchtime) peel: This peel removes the very top layers of your skin, can be done from the comfort and convenience of your own home, oftentimes consists of very little (if any) skin shedding, and requires no downtime. It’s also relatively painless.
Medium peel: Here, both the upper and middle layers of your skin are removed. People with age spots, acne scarring, severe hyperpigmentation, and somewhat prominent wrinkles may opt for this one. It takes around a week for your skin to fully recover; there is some shedding, and yes, some downtime is required. This kicks the discomfort up a couple of notches (because the acid is stronger).
Deep peel: If you’ve got the kind of acne marks that leave pits or indentations in your skin, there are a good amount of wrinkles and crow’s feet hanging around, or you want a really drastic change in how your skin looks and feels, this is the type of peel that can make that happen for you. Now, this one is where the big kids play. In fact, some professionals will prep your skin for up to eight weeks before even applying this type of peel. The shedding is so extreme that it just might freak you out, and you’re absolutely gonna need to settle in for some downtime. In fact, you may be given some pain medication to handle this one.
As far as the kind of acids that are used in chemical peels, one of the following (or a combination of them) is customary:
- Glycolic acid
- Trichloroacetic acid
- Salicylic acid
- Lactic acid
- Phenol
If you were to do these at home, you can buy them at different concentration levels. For instance, the company that I have quickly become a fan of is Perfect Image. They’ve got peels and peel pads in different chemical forms and concentration levels from 10-50 percent so that you can ease into what works best for you and possibly “build up resistance” (to the chemical levels over time).
If there’s a part of you, that’s skeptical because of your complexion (because there are some people who are haters of brown and Black skin using chemical peels) — that’s part of the reason why I enclosed all of the videos in this article; it’s to provide you with proof that yes, we can use chemical peels, just like everyone else. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re going to get a professional chemical peel, you should go to a dermatologist or esthetician who actually specializes in melanated skin.
You should also watch videos like the one here via Destiny Lashae Makeup's YouTube channel. It’s an almost 24-minute video that walks you all the way through a deep chemical peeling process so that you know just about all that you would be getting yourself into with that type of peel.
This brings me to my next point about chemical peels.
Why You Should Let a Professional Do a Certain Kind of Them
This brings me to my next point about chemical peels.
If you watched the video that I just mentioned or even the one featured in that section, you can tell that deep (and sometimes even medium) chemical peels ain’t nothin’ to play with on your own. For starters, the process consists of more than just slapping some acid on your face and going about your merry way. A professional has to study your skin to see what chemicals would work best for you; there are other products that need to complement the peel and the downtime…yeah, the downtime.
Plus, you need self-control times a billion to let the peel fully do its process because, if you pick at the peel prematurely, that can be counterproductive as hell in the sense that it could lead to infection, hyperpigmentation, or even permanent scarring.
And if you’re wondering what a professional chemical peel would run you…yeah, that part. Let’s just say that it’s not the cheapest thing on the planet. The average (because some are much lower and some go into the thousands) is somewhere around five hundred bucks for a really thorough deep peel. The good news about that is oftentimes, you only have to go once for one of those. And that price tag is certainly not the only option. My waxer is also an aesthetician, and her chemical peels are around $150 per session.
If all of this is still too deep for your pockets (trust me, I totally get it), another option is to do what I do: my own chemical peels at home.
The Pros of Doing Chemical Peels at Home
Due to the fact that I am a reformed product junkie, I actually don’t mind experimenting a bit with my skin and hair. So, as I was seeing at-home chemical peels pop up in my YouTube algorithm a while back, I took that as a clear sign that I needed to give one a try. I’ll be honest, I probably should’ve gone with something that was 10 percent concentrate first, yet, for the cost, I decided that I would give 30 percent a shot.
I first went with the lactic acid peel, mostly because I already knew that it was an alpha hydroxy acid that is effective at removing dead skin cells (my skin can get pretty dull if I’m not careful) and lightening dark spots. Lately, though, I’ve been playing around with a pineapple pumpkin enzyme peel because the brand that I use combines lactic and glycolic acid (it’s great at treating acne, acne scars, and getting rid of dark patches along with removing dead skin cells too); plus, pineapple is loaded with vitamin C and can help to brighten your complexion while pumpkin contains vitamin E and is an awesome skin hydrator.
Anyway, since using both these peels, here are the “pros” that I have noticed:
- Not a ton of skin-prepping is required (although you need to thoroughly read and follow the instructions of whatever product you decide to use).
- The peels are easy to apply.
- The stinging (at 30 percent, not 10) is quite manageable (although you do feel it).
- Cool water can typically “deactivate” the peel (although adding baking soda to the water is super effective).
- My skin immediately looks and feels smoother and “tighter.”
- I only get period pimples for the most part, and those have decreased, significantly so.
- Any unevenness is fading.
- Other skin products glide on so much easier.
- My pores appear smaller.
- I can use the peel 2-3 times a week (be careful to build up to that level of tolerance).
- My skin glows (also almost immediately after use) like it’s radiant.
- My skin does not shed (although there can be minimal amounts based on higher concentrations).
- I have virtually no sebum plugs (at least that I can feel or see).
Yeah, I ain’t got no lies to tell you — as far as skincare moves are concerned, applying LIGHT at-home chemical peels has been one of the best decisions that I have EVER made.
No exaggeration; especially when it comes to the price (the bottles that I get are designed to last me for around 20 peels at less than 30 dollars a bottle).
Now, that doesn’t mean that the path to all of what I just mentioned has always been smooth…
The Cons of Doing Chemical Peels at Home
Right now, as we speak, I’ve got a burn scar on the left side of my mouth that is still healing (as far as hyperpigmentation goes). How the heck did it get there? Because I didn’t follow parts of the advice that I’m giving you. Because a part of what affects the impact and effectiveness of a chemical peel is not just the concentration of the acid but how long you leave it on your skin — when I first tried the enzyme one, I thought I was big and bad, and so I left it on, at 30 percent, for five minutes…the first attempt. I caused a minor skin burn. Then, when it started to come off, I thought it was a skin peel and not a burn, and that resulted in a scar. SMDH.
All of this was totally my fault. Still, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t give you a heads up on a few things on the potential “cons” side of chemical peels:
- Even if you read the instructions, there is some trial and error involved.
- Because you’re winging it on your own, you might discover the hard way which kinds of acids actually work in your favor and which ones…don’t.
- Sometimes, it can be hard to know the difference between the kind of stinging that’s working for you (“eating up” the dead skin cells) vs. working against you (actually burning your skin).
- If you’re not careful, you could end up with some post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation from mild scabs or burns that can take quite a bit of time to heal.
- The results are not nearly as drastic as medium and deep chemical peels (although how many layers you apply and how long you leave a light peel on will determine things like dryness and peeling).
- There can be some temporary itchiness following applying the peel for a couple of days that will lead to mild scarring if you scratch.
- You need to apply the peels consistently for the best results (one-and-done is futile).
Aside from those seven points, you also may go through a bit of skin purging, which isn’t a whole lot of fun. Since chemical peels are basically detoxing your skin, it’s not uncommon for your face (or wherever you’re applying the peel) to first look magnificent and then, after a couple of weeks, to have some breakouts due to the toxins and bacteria that are rising to the surface. Indeed, it does take a bit of patience to get through that process (especially if you keep starting and stopping the peels), yet I’m a living testament to the fact that it will pass, and the skin that you get on the backside will make it all well worth the time, effort and energy.
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Hopefully, I explained chemical peels enough to where, if you are considering a professional one or going the DIY route, you know what you’re getting yourself into. Like I already said, I am a fan and wish I had known about them sooner. Few things have blessed my skin more, y’all. And I totally mean that.
Now, let me go apply my peel for the day. Yay! It’s time.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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