How I Made Peace With Getting Fired From My Six-Figure Job
I got fired.
That's right, I was "terminated" from my six-figure a year employer that I have been with for six years. It is, by all intents and purposes, the dream job that society wants you to have and tells you to aspire to after college. You know, the type of job with full benefits, 401k match, high salary, bonus options, and stock options. Let's not forget the coveted title, which somehow replaced my identity.
However, in a swift three-minute conversation, I went from the "American Dream" to nothing. And you know what? I am OK.
It is a short-lived euphoria because for some reason the comfort I feel seems to freak people out. It is causing me to experience the phenomenon of people projecting their emotions onto my situation. Let me tell you, projection of emotions is a helluva a drug. It would probably make people more uncomfortable to know that I manifested this scenario about two and a half years ago. Even more intensely over the last six months, but I keep that part to myself. Crazy, right?
Burnout is real people, and I found myself hating waking up to a job that made me feel empty. What does a burnout and manifesting my "termination" have to do with anything? Well, let me give you a little context.
I am a neurophysiologist and I work for a contract company that provides neuromonitoring services to hospitals in the area. All that means is that I work at a high-intensity job that requires a lot of my time and a lot of me. I have been in this field for 10 years and I prided myself on being hardworking and bending over backwards for my company and for my surgeons. No one was going to outwork me, I was determined to be the best and to perform in excellence always. As one company slogan put it, I always strived at "having an A team player attitude."
My reality was long hours with no breaks, spur-of-the-moment travel, trauma calls, dying patients, crying families, disrespectful hospital staff and doctors, time away from your family, difficult coworker relationships, etc.
I was one of the few women of color that worked for the company and that presented a whole host of other issues. But you get the point, it is tough. To top that off, several events occurred that let me know I was not of as much value as I thought when company culture shifted from being people-centric to numbers-centric. I was already doing the typical work-twice-as-hard-to-be-half-as-good dance that most people of color experience in the workplace and I was still struggling to maintain my purpose. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful to have a job, but I decided to start formulating my exit strategy.
It just so happened, the universe beat me to it.
However, the people closest to me did not share my sentiments of freedom. They instead asked questions like, "What are you going to do now?" or "What is your plan?" Honestly, I had no answer for them, I didn't care about any of that. I just didn't feel the need to have an answer or to rush this current season that I had just been thrust into. Sure, I didn't have any systems in place for when this happened, but I knew that if I panicked I would end up right back in the same place with a job that made me miserable.
I had to be strategic with this time. Most importantly, I had to own this time and not let anyone interrupt what the universe was doing for me.
The ask of what was I going to do next, in itself, seemed like an indictment on my personhood rather than genuine concern. It seemed to create disappointment in people when I had no answer to any of the questions. I decided to let all that go and do for me what is best. That is not a luxury I feel black women or women of color get often, if ever. I owe no one anything, especially not my time.
Recently, at a book signing with Elaine Welteroth for More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say), she was explaining her decision to leave Teen Vogue. It was one of those moments in her life where things shifted and she had to follow a different path than what she had planned. Obviously, this resonated with me because I am also in the midst of the same shift. She said something that struck me deep:
"Your life is a series of dreams realized, you do not have to be defined by one dream."
At that moment, I felt seen and heard.
Losing my job is an opportunity for me to finally do what I want. To discover the things I love and to live my life in full potential. I had the "American Dream," and now I get a chance to have my dream.
What do I have to say to those who question me about losing my job? It's bigger than me now, life is taking me on the journey and all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other.
It's OK. I'm OK.
Featured image by Amer-Marie Woods/Instagram
Originally published on July 2, 2019.
- Life Lessons Learned From Getting Fired - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- More Than Enough Elaine Welteroth Authenticity - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 5 Lessons On Self-Worth And Boundaries You Can Learn From Being Fired - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy