Geeze. Although it might just be all up in my head, it sure does seem that, as soon as I had my last birthday this past June, my lips decided that they wanted to chap up more than usual. As I tried to go through the process of elimination to figure out why, although a bit of dehydration may have a little bit to do with it, I had to take into consideration that aging may have something to do with it too.
After all, as we get older, it gets harder for our lips to retain moisture, less collagen and elastin are produced in our lips, sometimes our lips end up appearing smaller/thinner and, because there is a decrease of blood vessels in our lips, they can lose some of their natural color too.
Yeah, even though having more years on this earth is indeed a blessing, that doesn’t mean we don’t go through quite a bit of transitioning, from head to toe.
And what if you just read all of that and immediately thought, I love my lips and I don’t want time to change them? Sis, I feel you. Believe me, I do. That’s why I want to share 10 things that you can do to, at best, keep your lips looking just like they do now and, at worst, get them to age far more gracefully than you would without these helpful recommendations.
10 Ways to Keep Your Lips Hydrated
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1. Exfoliate
No matter how old you are, it’s always going to be a wise move to exfoliate your lips on a weekly basis. Not only does it help to remove dry and dead skin (so that your lips end up looking less chapped), it can make your lips feel smoother, reduce the appearance of discoloration on them and it can help to increase hydration to your lips as well. Although you can actually use your toothbrush to exfoliate your lips (by rubbing your damp brush in small circular motions), there are also homemade lip scrubs that you can try. Healthline has 14 recipes that you can check out here.
2. Massage
When was the last time that you gave your lips a nice massage? By first applying a mixture of peppermint oil (no more than one drop) with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado, or sweet almond oil and then using your index fingers in a circular motion on your lips, you will increase blood circulation to them, help them to become more plump and full and they will become more rosy-looking too.
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3. Hydrate
If you’ve ever wondered why it seems like your lips get dried out faster and more often than any other part of your body, the main reason is because they don’t have any oil glands; this means that they require hydration from your system and then moisturization (from lip balms, lip gloss, lipstick) on the outside to keep them looking healthy. This is just one more reason why you need to drink no less than 4-6 glasses of water a day. Do you?
4. Consume Collagen
Did you know that collagen accounts for a whopping 30 percent of your body’s protein? And since it’s pretty well-documented that we lose collagen as we age, and that can impact our bone and joint health, how much muscle mass we have, and also how good our skin looks, you definitely need to check out, “We Lose Collagen As We Age. 10 Ways To Naturally Boost It.” If you do, your lips will be grateful because collagen helps to give them the fullness and definition that they have. So, if you haven’t been on top of your collagen intake as of late, here is some inspiration to do so.
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5. Give Your Lips Some Sun Protection
There is no part of your body that shouldn’t be protected from the sun, regardless of how much melanin you may have — including your lips. When it comes to your lips, specifically, if you don’t protect them from potentially damaging UV rays, not only do you put yourself at risk for having a skin cancer diagnosis, but your lips could end up drying out and aging faster than they are supposed to. That’s why it’s imperative that you coat your lips with a lip balm that contains SPF. For the record, jojoba oil and carrot seed oil can support your sun protection efforts too.
6. DIY Vitamin C Lip Balm
One of the best things that I’ve done for my skin over the past several months is to use vitamin C serum on a consistent basis. From providing hydration and reducing hyperpigmentation to boosting collagen production, brightening the skin and protecting skin from UV rays — vitamin C serum really is the truth. That said, if you want your lips to look youthful, I recommend making a lip balm; one that has some vitamin C in it. Although you can apply vitamin C serum directly to your lips, because it might be too strong, it’s actually better to go with a recipe that has citrus essential oil in it (like this one here, here, and here) or one that contains orange peel powder (like this one here).
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7. Treat Your Lips to Some Peptides
Peptides are amino acids that play a variety of roles within your system. As far as your skin goes, peptides are important because they help to create a barrier for your skin while also reducing fine lines and wrinkles, decreasing breakouts, and increasing elastin as well. For all of these reasons, I think that it’s a good idea to apply some peptides to your lips, at least a couple of times a week. These days, there are all types of peptide lip treatments to choose from. One article that provides a variety to test out is Harper BAZAAR’s “The 10 Best Peptide Lip Balms Worth the Hype.”
8. Use Avocado and Mango Body Butter
Although avocados are high in fat, they’re healthy fats (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats); ones that can help to lower your cholesterol levels. Not only that but avocados also contain lots of fiber, vitamins C, E, and K, folate, magnesium, and potassium, and they even have some omega-3 in them too. If you get this fruit in the form of avocado oil, you can get the same benefits from the fruit itself which is why I recommend that you either apply avocado oil directly on your lips or make some of your own avocado body butter.
If you blend some avocado oil along with some vitamin E oil (which helps the cells on your lips to turn over faster) and mango butter (which slows down skin age, repairs damaged skin tissue, and helps to protect your skin) and whip it together with a blender, you will end up with a whipped body butter that will work well on your skin and your lips too.
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9. Try Some Calendula Oil
Antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory are all properties that calendula oil contains. And since research has indicated that it can help to protect your skin (by reducing the amount of oxidative stress that it encounters), this is why you might want to try it on your lips. Your lips will especially adore it since it can help to provide a barrier to your skin which could protect it from outdoor elements that could dry it (including your lips) out.
10. Apply an Aloe Vera and Honey Mixture at Night
If you don’t already have an aloe vera plant somewhere in your home, maybe this will get you to invest in one. Although it’s a plant that consists of 99 percent water, it also has nutrients in it like selenium, zinc, copper, manganese, magnesium, and fatty acids. These work together to speed up the healing process of minor cuts and wounds, heal sunburn, bring relief to dry skin, and even help with the inflammation and discomfort that are associated with eczema, psoriasis, and acne.
That said, since aloe vera is good at providing so much hydration, if you mix its gel with a drop of honey, the honey’s antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties will help to heal your lips by repairing any damaged tissues it may have. The combo is the perfect all-natural all-night lip treatment.
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Aging is coming — and there is nothing wrong with it. Yet if you can get your lips to look and feel wonderful during the aging process, that will make the adjustments so much easier to welcome.
After all, a sexy pair of lips? They are timeless.
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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