So, here’s the deal: if you’re over the age of 35, perimenopause can last anywhere from a few months to an entire freakin’ decade. And so, if you’re wondering why I’m talking about menopause more often these days…now you know.
Okay and just what does perimenopause and especially menopause have to do with your skin? Chile, where do I even start? SMDH. Probably the easiest way to explain it is that when your estrogen and progesterone levels drop (which is what automatically happens during that time of life), it can directly impact how your skin both looks and feels. Your skin may feel drier, thinner, or appear less “full” (meaning plump) — and all of that can make it look older than you want it to.
Honestly, that’s why a lot of skincare products are marketed as being “anti-aging”; it’s their gentle way of saying skin that is perimenopausal or menopausal. In fact, I actually read that during the first five years of menopause, it’s pretty common to lose as much as 30 percent of the collagen that’s in your system (check out “We Lose Collagen As We Age. 10 Ways To Naturally Boost It.”). And since collagen plays such a significant role in your skin retaining moisture, having elasticity, and avoiding the fine lines and wrinkles that most of us would prefer to put off for as long as we possibly can, it’s important to do what can be done, even now, to keep a youthful and radiant glow.
So, let’s get into it. Because there is indeed such a thing as menopause skincare (the anti-aging industry brings in literally billions of dollars every year because of it), I want to share 12 things that you can proactively do to care for your own skin: whether you’re in perimenopause, menopause, post-menopause or just…curious.
1. Eat More Phytoestrogens
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Okay, so since you lose quite a bit of estrogen during menopause, if you don’t want your skin to look like you did, you should consider consuming some phytoestrogens. Those are foods like dried fruits, garlic, plums, pears, apples, onions, and collards that come from plant-based estrogen. Since phytoestrogens are able to do everything from bring more hydration into your skin to boost your collagen levels, if you want to “push pause” on the aging process of your skin from the inside out, eating phytoestrogens is certainly one way to do it.
2. Also, Consume More Collagen-Enriched Foods
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We already touched on what collagen is able to do, which is why it’s a good idea to eat foods that are rich in this particular structural protein as well. Chicken, broccoli, bone broth, berries, cashews, egg whites, and citrus fruit can get you right in this department. Know what else can? Green tea.
3. Enjoy Some Dark Chocolate
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Women who are postmenopausal should consume dark chocolate on a consistent basis because it helps with their heart health. Something else that research reveals is dark chocolate is great when it comes to boosting cognitive function (which can also decline during menopause when it comes to your memory). Your skin could use dark chocolate because it increases blood circulation to it. Also, dark chocolate can protect your skin from damaging UV rays. And since dark chocolate helps to reduce stress, that is just one more reason to snack on it — and perhaps why you should consider applying a dark chocolate face mask a couple of times a month, too (you can check out some more info via StyleCraze on all of that here).
By the way, it should go on record that the key is not to pick up a Hershey’s bar on your way home. You need to eat the kind of dark chocolate that contains no less than 65-70 percent cocoa. Yep, the less sweet and more chalk-like it tastes, the better (just sayin’).
4. Put Aloe Vera Juice in Your Drinks
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The antibacterial, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory properties in (pure) aloe vera juice can do wonders for your system. Not only is it full of antioxidants and vitamin C, but aloe vera juice can also help to improve digestion, regulate your blood sugar levels, improve your oral health, soothe heartburn, and keep your vision healthy and strong. As far as your skin goes, aloe vera juice will definitely help it to maintain a proper level of moisture. As a bonus, it can also help to increase collagen production and improve elasticity in your skin.
Oh, if the thought of drinking aloe vera juice straight makes you slightly want to throw up in your mouth, take it from me that if you put a tablespoon in your juice or smoothie, you will hardly even notice that it’s there.
5. Up Your Water Intake
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Our bodies are made up of mostly water; so, of course, we need it. How much? For regular maintenance purposes, many health experts say that we, as women, can benefit from nine cups a day. If you want to shed a few pounds, 1-2 liters are recommended. And when it comes to dealing with menopause, in general, and avoiding dry skin that comes from it, at least do the bare minimum (although adding a couple of glasses of water to that would be ideal). The bottom line here is hydrate, hydrate, HYDRATE. If you want to get a leg up on menopausal skin, that’s gonna be how you do it best.
6. Take a Probiotic
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You’re gonna be hard-pressed to read something on gut health and not see a probiotic mentioned (check out “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.”). That’s because there is plenty of data out here to support that taking a probiotic can do wonders for keeping your intestinal health in great condition. Your skin will thrive off of a probiotic because, not only is it proven to decrease the amount of water that your skin loses, but it also helps to improve the quality of your skin too.
7. “Seal Your Skin” with Marula Oil
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If you want your skin to look as young as it possibly can, it’s always a good idea to look for products that contain a lot of antioxidants, essential fatty acids, and amino acids; one of those is marula oil (which is an oil that comes from marula fruit). In fact, one of the reasons why it gets a shout-out here is a lot of skincare experts recommend that you use it to “seal in moisture.” And since that is a great way to keep water in your skin (for longer) after taking a shower or bath, if you’re looking for the perfect oil to keep your skin feeling super soft and hydrated, hours after washing up, marula oil is one to keep in mind (plum oil is pretty bomb too, by the way).
8. Hyaluronic Acid Is Your Friend
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Over the past several months, something that I’ve been becoming more and more of a fan of is hyaluronic acid (check out “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday”). As far as menopause goes, it can actually help to naturally treat vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women. Also, when it comes to your skin, since it actually has the ability to make it more flexible — well, that can make fine lines and wrinkles less of a visible issue.
9. Do Chemical Peels
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Last fall, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “I've Been Doing At-Home Chemical Peels. Here Are The Pros And Cons.” I did it because, ever since I started doing chemical peels, I’ve started to see a nice shift in both the appearance as well as the texture of my skin. Anyway, since fine lines and acne are two things that oftentimes come with menopausal skin (more on pimples in a bit), and that is just what chemical peels help to treat, applying them on a consistent basis could be a wise move. You can get a potent chemical peel from a skin professional, or you can do what I do and go the lighter route at home. I’ve had no regrets (other than not fully following the directions and getting a mild chemical burn on my face once in the beginning) since doing so.
10. Try CeraVe (No Joke)
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I can’t remember the last time that I watched television, and a doggone CeraVe commercial didn't come on at some point. Personally, I’ve never used any of the products before — I might consider it now, though. Apparently, “the ceramides in CeraVe” are exactly what our skin is longing for during perimenopause and menopause. Long story short, ceramides are the fats that are in our skin cells; they actually make up around 30-40 percent of the outer layers of our skin. And since you not only lose quite a bit of ceramides during menopause, their structure tends to change too — next time you’re at the store, picking up a CeraVe moisturizer certainly couldn’t hurt.
11. Do Research on “Menopausal Acne”
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It’s like it never ends. Lawd. Okay, so why in the world, would we as grown-ass women, end up with acne? The bottom line here is just like hormonal fluctuations can trigger breakouts in teenagers, pretty much the same thing can happen to us during perimenopause and menopause. From what I’ve read and researched, as far as how to treat it, you can do similar things that you did as an adolescent (if acne was an issue), including applying benzoyl peroxide and topical retinoids. Although, if you’ve never been to a dermatologist before, this may be the time to do it. They may be able to customize a skincare regimen that can make getting through this season of acne a lot easier for you.
12. Don’t Forget About Sunscreen
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Even though we’re more melanated than any other demographic (and I love that for us!), it is ridiculous to think that skin cancer cares about that. Know what else some of us need to let go of? The belief is that we only need protection from the sun during the summer months. Listen, so long as the sun is shining, rays are beaming, and they can ultimately damage our skin (even in the wintertime). And since menopause makes skin thinner, which ultimately means that it’s more vulnerable, you definitely need to make sunscreen a part of your daily skincare routine, now more than ever. You can check out a list of some of the best sunscreens for our complexion(s) here.
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Menopause skin prep. Chile, you ain’t gotta tell me — I’m right there with you, somewhere in perimenopause. Hopefully, this intel will make shifting into the transition easier to bear…so that “Black not cracking” can remain intact. Even during the seasons of (perimenopause) and menopause.
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On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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